Make a Guy Notice You Without Being Pushy

Edited by Vanessa Alexandra Avisado, Eng, Lynn, Marian Raquel F. Roncesvalles and 15 others

Nice, attractive, unattached men are a hot item on the market today, and if you like a guy who falls under this category, you will find there's a lot of competition for his attention. So there you are, hoping he will notice you among all the other hopefuls who are also trying to catch his eye. You can be as assertive as the next girl, but you think a subtle approach would feel more dignified and comfortable. You are absolutely right to opt for what feels right, because catching his attention is not at all impossible, even if you don't engage in obvious tricks.

Today's dating culture tells women, in many ways, if they want something or someone, they should go for it. Women are constantly told the more assertive they are, the better their chances of getting the perfect job, buying the perfect house, and getting the perfect man. To aid in this, information technology now offers a host of ways for a woman to snag a man.


A woman in hot pursuit of a man can text him every hour on the hour. She can use e-mail to send him notes (daily, or twice daily). She can use Facebook to express her deepest desires, create one blog after another, tweet him on Twitter, and constantly send him pictures through Instagram. In short, she can either wear him down or become a nuisance.

There is a whole politically rich discourse about how far women should go when they take charge of their destinies. The bottom line, however, is that being pushy rarely works. This is not only true in the dating scene; but people everywhere dislike the proverbial salesman who puts a foot in the door to keep you from closing it. There is a very fine line between being assertive, and undesirably aggressive. So here are a few pointers on how you can make a guy notice you without being pushy.

Start from the Inside Out

  1. 1
    Believe You Are Worth Noticing
    Confidence in your own attractiveness is rooted in the love and respect you have for yourself. People who love and like themselves radiate a calm and confident dynamism that naturally draws other people to them. If he sees that you are comfortable with yourself, he will be more interested in finding out more about you.
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  2. 2
    Appreciate Your Own Looks
    Recognize your best features, highlight them, and be genuinely happy with what you have. Your body is your body, and you need to be comfortable with it. Exercise, be physically fit, and you will have the energy and glow that come from being healthy. That should make you more attractive to him. Men are more attracted to confidence than they are to traditional beauty.
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  3. 3
    Do Not Obsess About Being Beautiful
    There is something odd and tiresome about people (regardless of sex) who are always fussing with their hair, fixing their clothes, trying to get a glimpse of their reflection, and going to the bathroom to freshen up. Be well groomed, but don't be obsessive about having every strand of hair in place.
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  4. 4
    Minimize The Fake
    It is a rare man who appreciates fake hair, fake lashes and fake nails. First of all, they tell him that what you see is not what you get. Second, it tells him you are a high maintenance girl. Dramatic eye make-up is fine but no one wants to bring a Boy George look-alike out to dinner or home to Mama. It also makes him believe you are not happy with who you are.
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  5. 5
    Enjoy Your Life
    You probably see each other in the course of regular activities you both participate in. If you look like you are having a good time, he is much more likely to notice you. Misery may love company but people who are happy always manage to attract more friends.
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  6. 6
    Never Be Desperate For Attention
    Catch his eye every now and then, but don't stare. Do not resort to moves like smiling too eagerly, or standing apart from your friends to show that you are waiting for him to approach you. Most of all, never project neediness.
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  7. 7
    Know How To Walk By Him
    When you walk by him, do so gracefully and with purpose. Walk slowly enough so he can see you, but don't do it so slowly he will think you don't know where you are going.
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  8. 8
    Non-Aggressive Eye Contact
    Allow eye contact to happen naturally. Don't stare into his eyes, hoping he will look up by chance and take it from there. Hold his gaze for a couple of seconds with a small smile and then go back to whatever you were doing. Do not wink at him, or cup your chin in your hands and moon over him; these actions will only drive him away.
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  9. 9
    Go Ahead And Converse
    If you find yourself in a group and you are all having a conversation, do address him. However, keep it casual and light. Do not try to take the conversation into deep discourse; he will merely think you are trying too hard.
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  10. 10
    Speak Softly
    Engage in conversation and speak in a soft voice. This will make him lean closer to you and establish better physical contact.
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  11. 11
    Stay Within His Line Of Vision
    Sit or stand where he will see you. This is one tactic you must do ever so subtly. If you often sit where he can see you, be careful you don't give him the impression that you are stalking him.
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  12. 12
    Discover What You Have In Common
    Being interested in the same things will lead to interesting conversations, and that is how he can begin to really see you.
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  13. 13
    Bump Into Him Once In A While
    Without making it obvious, find ways to be where he is and bump into him. When you do, act pleasantly surprised. Casually say hi, but do not try to entrap him into a conversation. You have made yourself available. Let him do his part.
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  14. 14
    Give Sincere Compliments
    If you are the type of a woman who sees the good in others and lets them know it, you will have a positive effect on people around you. When you see something worth complimenting in him, go ahead and tell him what you think. The keyword? Be sincere.
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  15. 15
    Know The Right Number
    Do not hang around with too large a crowd; it can be hard for him to approach you if you are in the midst of a whole gang. Neither should you be with just one other girlfriend; if there's just the two of you, he knows he won't be able to take you aside because that means leaving your friend alone. A group of three or four is perfect. It is not an overwhelming crowd so he won't be reluctant to approach you, and if things go well, the two of you can go off on your own without feeling guilty about the others.
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When all is said and done, there are plenty of things you can do to attract a man. Ultimately, however, one important thing you must never forget is to be yourself. There is nothing better or more promising than someone discovering how very likable and attractive you are. If you try to catch his attention by being something you are not, you are in for a tiresome process that you won't enjoy in the long run. Just remember to show the best of what you really are and the rest will follow.

Questions and Answers

How can I get a man's attention at work without being too pushy or obvious?

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If you are a regular corporate yuppie working a 9 to 5 job, then you must know that the workplace is conducive for meeting a variety of people, as you typically spend more time in the office than at home or anywhere else. Relatively, all office workers develop relationships with colleagues and superiors - whether purely business, platonic, flirting, or perhaps the possibility of getting into a serious, committed relationship. Now, there are certain company HR rules that prohibit any romantic relationships within the corporate walls. You must think twice before pursuing a guy you like if you don't want to end up losing your job. However, if the company you work for doesn't have provisions for workplace relationships, then you can go ahead with the flirting game.

Having love interests in the workplace is quite common. It goes with the whole package of enjoying your job, working closely with others, and everything else. If you are single and have found a good catch among your colleagues, you are lucky; and if he realizes that you two could be an item, then he is even luckier. The very first thing you must note on your checklist is to make sure that he is single (not married or engaged, and does not have a girlfriend). A single, attractive, and intelligent lady does not deserve to be shortchanged. You do not have to share the man you love with another woman. Pick out a decent bachelor in the pack and you can flip the romance switch anytime you want. Here are effective tips to get a man's attention without appearing too obvious or pushy:

  • Be Attractive. If you want to be a man magnet, and gain material wealth, love, happiness, and success, then you must be attractive in all aspects. First off, pay attention to your physical appearance. You must engage his senses to get him to notice you. Be visually appealing and watch your hygiene. Men love women who know how to take care of themselves. You must wear classy, neat, and sophisticated work attire in the office and express your personal style when attending corporate dinners or casual nights out with the rest of the staff. Pay attention to the little details, as men are sometimes particular with these things. When it comes to perfume or cologne, choose a scent that lingers but is not overpowering or nauseating, as this could be a turn-off. Take daily showers and look fresh every workday. If you are bit on the heavy side, then you may want to hit the gym more often and go on a low-calorie diet. These basic things can definitely get you to first base with the guy you like. It's not possible to get there if you fail to capture his attention. Remember, you do not need to be a bombshell or a supermodel to get a man's attention; you just have to believe and project beauty. He'll take the cue.
  • Be Interesting. Nothing is more attractive than a woman who knows how to speak her mind. Getting a guy's attention is pretty easy for any attractive woman, but keeping him interested is another thing. Some ladies lose their luster the moment they decide to open their mouths. It's not just bad breath that can make men change their minds about you - a dull personality and lack of wit can send him running to the exit. Confidence is sexier in a woman, than any hot stilettos. Exude a charming personality by being courteous and friendly to all your co-workers, from the underlings to the upper ranks of the hierarchy. Be genuine in conversations with him and other office-mates, and he will likely want to get to know you on a deeper level.
  • Be Professional. Some women focus on the teasing game and neglect their jobs in the process. This is a total no-no. Men are very result and action oriented; so it is only natural they would look for exactly the same in a partner. If you are lax and incompetent with your job, then you will not be attractive to any guy. A man loves ambition and passion in women. Intelligence is hotter than any aphrodisiac. Take on more tasks, perform better, and exceed expectations at work. A powerful and independent woman is definitely a prize catch for any male hunter.
  • Be Unpredictable. Be evasive and get out of your normal routine. Do not appear to be available all the time. Appear busy and yet surprise him with coffee or something. This is where the flirting game becomes highly intense. Be generous with compliments one day and then ignore him the next day. Go out on casual group dates. Men love mazes and riddles too. If he finds you too easy, he will lose interest. Confuse and amaze him all at the same time. Play with your hair and pen while doing innocent side-glances in his direction. Mirroring or mimicking each other's movements also works. Let him realize you are fun and carefree to be with, yet responsible. A real man looking for a commitment is looking for a keeper and not a doll.

I would suggest just flirting a little with him at lunch or on breaks. The best thing you could probably do is just happen to sit near him one day and bring up some polite small talk to open him up. Just start by asking how he is, and if he likes working there. You should do this every couple days or so for a little while. Once you have gotten to the point of being "work friends" then you can start to ask about more personal things and maybe even ask for his number.

How to make a boy notice you without being obvious!? How to flirt subtly?

To make a boy notice you without being obvious or if you want to flirt subtly, you need to be confident and look smart. Boys want girls who are confident and smart. If you are his classmate or schoolmate, he will notice you if you are doing great in school. And if you are doing great in school, you can conduct some study groups. If you notice he is not good a particular subject, you can help him out if he'll agree. You can also join his circle of friends. Ask your circle of friends to join his friends so that you will have a bigger group. This way, he will not notice that you are flirting with him. And when the time comes, you will become closer, you can take the opportunity to make him notice you.

Make light eye contact occasionally, engage in small talk with him when you have the chance, and you can even give him a smile when you pass him while you are out. It's best not to go out of your way to talk to him, just talk to him when the chance comes up. Slowly introduce yourself to him and start slowly getting to know him better through small talk. Eventually you can either ask for his number and suggest you hang out, or keep flirting, and wait for him to ask you out.

Have I scared off a guy I really like?

I've just started a new job and noticed a really nice guy called Rory, on my first day of training. I slipped on some stairs and hurt myself. He asked if I was okay, then checked up on me the rest of the day, and the next day. We flirted and chatted too. Then on my first shift, I saw him afterward. We said hi, and chatted, and got on great. Now it's a week later, and we still see each other at work, but I'm normally the one who says hi. I told a girl I work with I fancy him, and I think she said something to him, because one day he couldn't stop staring and me, and then the next he blanks me. We did chat in the office and got to know each other a little more and I asked if we could swap numbers. At first he said okay, but then said he would message me with his email address but this hasn't happened yet. I saw him the other day and I said hi first. He asked me for some help on a computer and when I asked if it helped he said, No. Now I feel I've gone too far as he put his number on Facebook, and I've texted him asking if this was okay, but no reply!! Help!! I feel like I've scared him off big time. I just want him to like me and get to know me.

Play it cool for about a week and pretend not to notice him at all. He is interested but you're not letting him come after you. Perhaps even date someone else in the office for a date or two and make sure its known in the office. That will undo any damage you might have done, and then he will start thinking, "What have I done? What have I missed out on?" Then he will start showing interest again.

How can I find a balance in developing a relationship?

Here's the background story. I met this amazing guy on Tinder. He works for a company out of Canada that sends him to train in West Virginia. He came to WV in September and stayed with me while he was there for work. We really enjoyed each other's company. So the weeks following, we've been texting every day. I initiate most of the conversations because I am impatient and it stresses me out to wait. His work will send him back, but we don't know when. I want to keep the communication strong and steady. I also need to find a balance so I won't scare him away. I struggle with the whole dating game because I'm a "Go Getter" in life. Once I know what I want, I find a way to get it. It has worked in all areas of my life but relationships. I guess it's because I can't control what someone wants or if they want me. He told me he was a guy who lets girls come to him. I am 28 years old and this dating game is wearing on me. What can I do to keep him interested, and not go crazy from the dating game?

You are in an International relationship that started on Tinder. Basically, it boils down to he was looking for someone to hang out with while training and you were looking for Mr. Right. This does not mean that your relationship will not work out but you will have to let go of some control. It is hard to balance a long distance relationship when one person seems more invested than the other.

To keep him interested, plan a trip to see him in Canada. Apply for your passport if you do not have one already. Then look into flights and hotels to stay up in Canada for a week. The exchange rate is favorable on your end with the USD. You both need more time in person to get to know each other before either of you can make a determination of if this relationship has a future. A future means that there will be immigration hurdles and trust me it is not easy. At least, if you spend time together, you can see how he responds to you in person.

How to get a rich and handsome man to marry me?

I want to live comfortably and be happily married with kids, but I just don't know how to attract that right guy. I have tried: I always try to look good. I think it was caused by: I really don't know

You may not realize it, but you are probably looking in the wrong places. First off, a guy who is successful is always leery of women who are looking at the dollar signs above his head and not at him. Did you go to college and establish your own career? Marrying for money can be a very lonely existence. Being financially comfortable is nice but you might be missing Mr. Right for you because he does not tick off your income requirements.

What you should be looking for in a man is someone who values you above everything else. Since you want kids, you will want someone who appears to be selfless in their pursuit of happiness. Someone who is good with children such as their nieces and nephews. Start by making it a requirement that the person maintains a stable job and then go from there. When we set up strict requirements for a possible date, we often end up alone.

How to get him to notice I am interested in him?

So there's a guy I know. I see him around sometimes but it's almost always when he's working (he's an RA at my college accommodation). I have brief chats with him but that's it. How do I get him to know I'm interested in him?

Ask him out for a snack or drink. Maybe if you know some of the same people, you can suggest you all hang out with each other. This way you can get to know him better. Since he is in your dormitory building, you can try to "accidentally" run into him more often to strike up a conversation. Perhaps ask him to go with you to one of the college sports events or to one of the school activities. Look for what interests he may have and then use those to work up a conversation.

I'm wondering how my ex feels and if there is a chance we could get back together?

I split with a guy over 1 year ago (his decision). I still feel something for him and last week we had "eye contact", the type when you just know the feeling is mutual. I see him a couple of times per week (school yard with our young children) and am wondering how to go about speaking to him again. I was wondering if it was worth missing the school run when I know he will be there to see if that will get him thinking of me??. I have tried: I have not spoke to him for a few months, but have been in the same place as him a few times and have been polite, confident and chatted to others. I think it was caused by: I spoke of our problems to a friend whom then told someone who knows my ex. The information got back to him and he was not happy. I tried to text/email/call him loads to apologize but he was very distant.

This is awkward because you see him regularly when you pick up your children from school. You guys split over one year ago so if you can speak with him politely then suggest a play date with the kids. Maybe leave a note on his car when you get a chance and ask to meet for coffee. If he balks tell him that you never really got the chance to apologize properly and would like the chance to so that you can be friends if nothing else. This past relationship had issues which we often forget those issues when the relationship ends. At least if you start out as friends then you will have a chance to see if it can be something more again.

How to make him want to settle for me?

How to make the guy I love with my whole heart see that I am what he needs and start treating me like his queen. I have tried: Calling him and texting him telling him that I love him and I miss him. I think it was caused by: He is not ready to commit himself to me

If he is not ready to give you the same level of commitment back, you will just have to wait. Find out what his reasons are for not wanting to commit. Once you know what they are then you can work together on overcoming them. Perhaps he wants a more stable career first or feels that he is not financially ready. Maybe you are both young and he does not want a serious relationship. As you can see from the other questions on this page, you are not the only one in a relationship where the other person is not on the same level of commitment. Those relationships that do survive are where one person makes a compromise for the other. It might mean that you have to make those compromises, though. If you feel that this relationship has no hope of a future and that is important to you then perhaps it is time to end the relationship. It is better to be looking for the right person instead of being miserable with the wrong person.

I am lonely and very sad and can't even pay men to date me?

I am trying to find a man, but they never approach me even when I pay them. Why am I not liked by anyone? NO MEN WANT TO DATE ME! They are not attracted and it really hurts. I have tried: I have paid men. I have done plastic surgery. I have graduated college to seem successful and good wife material. I think it was caused by: I don't know, I am only very nice to men. even the homeless guy won't accept my donations.

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I like a boy and he is older than me...what can I do?

I like a boy... He is older than me...I like him a lot but he doesn't seem to like me....I'm sad about that...I always want to see him but I think he thinks I'm following him or something like that. Maybe he thinks I'm annoying. :(. I like a boy in my school... He is 2 years older than me. I have tried: Emm nothing I'm too shy and I'm very shy to talk to him... I think it was caused by: Emm I think it caused this problem that I am too shy

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Categories : Relationships

Recent edits by: DeleteQnA, Alma, Elmarose Ulleybag

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