Identify a Bully
Edited by Nerissa Avisado, Eng, Lynn, estrella sacragon and 4 others
Don't underestimate bullying. It is widespread and it is happening everywhere - at school, the playground, and even in workplaces and homes. It is inflicting pain on the victims and can have overwhelming repercussions that you may not care to think of or entertain. Some of the victims may even resort to suicide or murderous acts to get even. These are not exaggerated; take a look back at some of the most gruesome violent acts in the recent past. You wouldn't want your child or yourself in that position. The good news is, you can do something about it. Start with knowing how to identify a bully.
Age does not mellow skilled bullies or those who have not managed to overcome their bullying through the years. They, later on, bring this to the workplace. By this time, they have perfected their bullying style and tactics that work to control others to gain power and personal success. Many adopt the skillful combination of charm and aggression to help them achieve their goals in terms of career advancement. If you want to meet these bullies, you need to know who they are.
What is the value of being able to identify a bully? It helps you avoid them or stop them if you know how to. If you have a kid who is being bullied in school, you can report the bullying to the proper authorities. You can also teach your child how to react or how not to react to the bullying. It will never be easy, especially with kids, but it is doable. For adults who want to help, finding them is easy; you need not put in too much effort to find them because they stand out like a sore thumb. They are very visible. Similarly, adults are not spared in workplaces. You need to spot them before they are able to lure you into their den, where you will become their supper.
Here are ways to spot them in your midst.
Identifying the School and Workplace Bullies
- 1They stand out, as they often get into trouble.
- 2They are loud, and they throw verbal abuse at their victims.
- 3Bullies are "charming" as they use charm and seduction to recruit cliques.
- 4Bullies are intimidating.
- 5Bullies are threatening.
- 6Bullies can be products of broken and/or violent homes.
Other Weapons that Bullies Use
- 1Skilled bullies can mask their real emotions and intentions.
- 2Master bullies build alliances and recruits with political gamesmanship.
- 3They dangerously resort to mind games to distort others' thoughts.
- 4Bullies feed on other people's fear.
Identify a Bully: Warning Signs that Parents should be Vigilant of
In the past few years, there have been several news reports about teenagers who committed suicide because of bullying. One excellent example is the bullying of a young girl from Florida, Rebecca Sedwick. Rebecca suffered from so-called "aggravated stalking". Suicide is just one of the adverse results of bullying.
There is no doubt that bullying is a very alarming phenomenon. As a matter of fact there are approximately 160,000 kids who skip their classes each and every day because they are afraid that someone from school might attack or intimidate them. What also makes bullying very alarming is the fact that the victims are getting younger and younger, and it has become more rampant and aggressive than before.
Indeed, parents need to be very vigilant, especially if they have teenage kids. They have to be alert of the warning signs and they should know what to do if they find out that their children are victims of bullying.
The Warning Signs
- 1If the child can't explain why his or her money, toys, school supplies or any of the stuff that he or she brings to school, are missing.
- 2If the child can't explain why he or she has physical marks, such as scrapes, bruises, or cuts.
- 3If the child's belongings are damaged.
- 4If the child doesn't want to ride the school bus.
- 5If the child doesn't want to attend classes anymore or do school activities.
- 6If the child suddenly became withdrawn, sullen, shows signs of being lonely or has become evasive.
- 7Parents should do something if they notice that their child doesn't want to go home or go to school alone, or if the child suddenly becomes clingy.
- 8If the child shows a remarkable change in personality and/or behavior.
- 9If the child shows too much sadness, anxiety, or anger, or becomes very moody or depressed, and the mood lasts for a long period of time without a known cause.
- 10If the child always experiences nightmares, can't sleep, wets the bed, or cries before sleeping.
- 11As explained by child health experts, there are a lot of victims of bullying who become bully themselves.If the child starts bullying younger kids or his or her siblings.
- 12If the eating habits of the child change.
- 13According to reports about bullying, among the most common places where bullying occurs are bathrooms in schools and parks, due to the fact these locations are not adult-supervised.If the child opts to reach home first to use the restroom.
- 14If the child is ravenous whenever he or she gets home.
- 15If the child's friends suddenly decreased or if he or she doesn't like to mingle with other kids his or her age.
- 16Child psychiatrists have determined that victims of bullying can't concentrate and focus well.If the child's grades suddenly drop.
- 17If the child talks about being helpless or acts as if he or she wants to die.
Tips, Tricks and Warnings
- Don't be surprised if the bully doesn't fit the bully stereotype. It is so typical to think of the bully as the boorish-looking guy, the tomboy, or the biggest classmate. The bullies, more often than not, are those that do not fit the usual stereotype of a bully. They can be smaller, but with a wily, sneaky mind. They can be the most popular, the prettiest, or the daughter or son of a violent parent. Really, bullies have many faces.
- Catch them red-handed during recess. Know that in school, a lot of bullying takes place during recess or in places where authority is not visible. Therefore if you would like to catch the bully in action, try looking in the places where the bullies feel supreme. If you are a student who can easily fall prey to these bullies, you may find it hard to totally ditch these places. However, you can always prepare in advance, knowing when they will be around and how they will try to bully you. If you are smart, ask your parents or teachers to catch them right when they are starting it.
Questions and Answers
Why would a bully want to meet his or her victim?
The best way to enact a mischievous intent to someone is when it is done physically, so bullies need to meet their victims in order to put their plans into action. Without having an interaction with his or her victim, the bully cannot follow through, and the damaging effect to the one being bullied will not receive its maximum potential. The bully will always find ways to inflict pain on his or her victims, and they know that just by meeting their victims that they can create discomfort to them. Therefore, it would be worth meeting them personally.
Interpersonal interaction with the victims or potential victims can also provide a way for the bullies to devise new and creative ways to pester the ones they're bullying. Additionally, meeting the victims may mean more opportunities to extort money and other things from victims.
A bully might want to meet with their victim so that they can talk to them about their behavior. By a bully meeting their victim they will get insight into the victims life so that it can change the way that they act as a person/bully towards the victim.
Categories : Relationships
Recent edits by: Marian Raquel F. Roncesvalles, Robbi, Jmgf