Use Your Voice to Attract Men

Edited by Donna, Alma, Eng, Inukshuk

Men like soft-spoken, yet confident women.

It takes more than visual appeal for a woman to appear attractive to a man. It also has to do with the way she sounds. Sexual reactions to a female voice may be primal in nature and part of human evolutionary biology. The preference for a certain type of voice might date back to times when women with softer, higher voices were considered to be meek, gentle and nurturing. A desirable mate was thought to be a good partner if she sounded submissive or obedient. In primitive times, a soft voice was considered to be a good quality in case there was the need to speak softly because predators were around, and a higher voice was desirable because it could mean that the woman was still young enough to be of child-bearing age.

If you want to attract a man using your voice, keep in mind that they are mostly attracted to women who have:

  • A higher voice, as the higher voices are subconsciously associated with younger women who are still fertile, whereas lower ones are associated with older women
  • A soft voice, because that is associated with gentleness and femininity
  • A voice with mirth and a bit of a giggle to it, as it signifies someone fun to be with (Like Goldie Hawn, Pamela Anderson or Lily Allen)
  • A slightly breathy child-like voice (like Carole Lombard, Marilyn Monroe or Britney Spears)

Using Your Voice to Attract a Man

You can use your laugh to attract a man.

Here are several ways to use your voice to attract a man.

  1. 1
    When you are alone, practice laughing and speaking with your voice raised an octave and then try speaking that way when you are around the man you want to attract
    The higher your voice is, the younger you will sound, even if you are an older woman. Lower female voices sound harsh, demanding and masculine and are not attractive to most men. Lower female voices may also indicate sickness to a suitor, which is a subconscious turn-off dating back to primal times because healthier women bore healthier children.
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  2. 2
    Try breathing from your diaphragm when you speak, rather than speaking from your throat
    This will automatically make your voice sound a little bit breathier. It will be easier for you to speak in a slightly higher tone of voice, without sounding hysterical.
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  3. 3
    Avoid speaking nasally, also known as speaking "through your nose." This is just a natural tendency for some people who are aging
    The sound of a nasal voice can be annoying and have men wanting to get away from you, instead of closer. Examples of individuals who have a nasal tone of voice are comedians Kathy Griffin and Katey Sagal (who played Peggy Bundy on Married With Children.)
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  4. 4
    Avoid speaking in a falsetto unless the two of you are sharing a very intimate moment
    When you talk baby talk to a lover, you are more than likely speaking to him in a falsetto. Although a slightly childish cadence to your voice can be attractive to some men, an outright falsetto can make you seem too cartoonish to take seriously. Most men want a real woman for a girlfriend, not someone who sounds like Betty Boop.
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  5. 5
    Speak deliberately in a slower paced way but be sure to pause for effect now and then
    This conveys non-aggressive confidence, which men find very sexy. Someone who speaks too fast can seem dominant, threatening and frantic.
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  6. 6
    Try to be relaxed when you speak
    If you are tense or distraught, your voice immediately rises up into your throat, where it comes out with a strangled sound. Women who speak in a choked-up way come across as being too upset to deal with as a romantic partner.
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  7. 7
    Speak to him with a bit of a musical lilt in your voice and end your speeches on a lower note rather than a higher one
    If you end every sentence with your voice raising as you speak, everything you say will sounds like a question. This gives you an overall needy and demanding demeanor. Ending your sentences in a trail of vocalizations that is lower makes you sound more definitive in tone and less inquisitive.
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  8. 8
    Develop a delightful laugh that has a bit of a giggle to it
    Belly laughs, guffaws and snorting sounds are unflattering and make you seem more masculine. If you are going to laugh at his jokes, avoid brash outbursts and try responding with a giggle instead.
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  9. 9
    Encourage intimacy by physically leaning your body in towards the man and speaking softly
    This is sexy because it makes the man think that the two of you share secrets that are just between you and him. It makes him feel singled out, treasured and powerful.
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  10. 10
    When speaking to a male, periodically stop verbalizing and respond with a sigh, and while you do it, make sure you are looking him in the eye
    The whimsical sigh is a standby of seductive technique.
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  11. 11
    Practice good posture when you speak and stand up straight
    This is important because when your slump over, your diaphragm and rib cage are constricted, producing a tighter, nervous sounding voice.
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  12. 12
    Never speak while you are inhaling and only let the words flow out as you exhale
    Inhaling as you talk makes you sound upset and as if you are possibly ill.
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  13. 13
    Watch your tone when you speak
    Out of habit, people sometimes develop a characteristic tone that can sound bitter, sarcastic or argumentative. Play a recording of yourself talking to a friend to see if you sound like a negative individual.
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  14. 14
    Learn how to modulate your voice so that it has a tone that is charming and melodic
    Modulating your voice gives it richness, depth, and character. People who do not modulate their vocal tones sound atonal. They appear to be devoid of emotion and speak like a robot.
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  15. 15
    Avoid outbursts of inappropriate laughter
    Some people laugh at exactly the wrong time as a defense mechanism or to seek either negative or positive attention. This can make you come off as insecure, nervous or sarcastic.
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Tips and Tricks

Practice reading poetry to tune up your voice.

  • It is true that some men are attracted to women with a lower husky voice, and good examples of sex symbols with a lower tone are Marlene Dietrich, Lauren Bacall and Kathleen Turner
  • Practice reading poetry very slowly, devoting one exhaling breath to each line, to help you speak with resonance
  • If you are not sure how you sound, use a tape recorder and try to be objective about how you might sound to others as you speak when you play it back, so that you know what vocal flaws to work on
  • If you are having trouble finding your higher octave, try humming a tune that you like, which will force your natural, voice higher, and try speaking from that level
  • If your voice sounds hoarse and rough because of a cold or from overuse, try drinking a little hot water with lemon to help clear your throat
  • Taking an acting course can help you learn how to modulate your voice, so that you are speaking loudly, but in a confident way
  • Singing lessons can also help you develop a richer tone and more melodic vocal tone
  • If you have a naturally loud or brash voice that you cannot seem to modulate on your own, consider getting speech lessons from a vocal coach

If you have problems with any of the steps in this article, please ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.


Article Info

Categories : Relationships

Recent edits by: Eng, Alma, Donna

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