Use Subtle Flirting Techniques to Attract Men
Edited by Donna, Eng, Alma
Why Being Subtle About Flirting is Better Than Being Obvious
Flirting is how you express yourself sexually when you first meet someone and your style of courting can either attract or turn off the man you want to pay attention to you. Subtle flirting is of use when you want to attract a man who is more than a one-night stand. There are many reasons why you want to be subtle about flirting with a man, especially if you are interested in pursuing a relationship, because:
- Women who are subtle flirts have less of a chance of being perceived solely as a sex object and have a better chance of attracting a long-term relationship
- Subtle flirting techniques are friendlier and create a familiar connection that might blossom into a relationship
- Being subtle about your attraction appeals to the male preference or women who are a little hard to get
- Women who overdo the flirting appear insecure and desperate to men, instead of charming or sexy
- If you are too loud and flirtatious, you are seen as less intelligent than a woman who is being quieter and more attractive
- Women who are too provocative and flirtatious are sometimes perceived as being easy or too loose and are sometimes treated with less respect
- Women who are too brash when they flirt are often laughed at and become the subject of locker room talk
- The way you approach him is also a reflection of who he is, so if you are too forward, he will think that you do not have respect for him
Flirtatious Moves That Are Too Obvious
There are certain things that you should never do when flirting with a man. These blatant pleas for male attention include:
- Winking at him and raising your eyebrows up and down
- Touching him in any way without first having a physical introduction
- Pulling down your top to show him more of your cleavage
- Hiking up your skirt and showing him your leg
- Walking directly up to him and planting a kiss on his mouth to surprise him
- Patting his rear end or any other part of his anatomy
- Taking his hand and sucking on his fingers
- Taking your shoe off and placing your foot on his thigh
Note that some of these moves do work if you are thinking about having sex with the man within a couple of hours of meeting him, but they do not necessarily lead to a date, a long-lasting relationship or even a friendship.
Subtle Flirting Techniques to Attract a Man
It is important to remember that these techniques are an expression of your romantic interest, and although some of them may seem a little corny, they are classic, age-old flirting techniques that are known to attract men.
- 1Bat your eyelashes at him and give a small smile and then turn away immediately. This type of blinking and smiling is a traditional form manneristic type of flirting that sends the instant message that you are attracted to him. However, when you do this, do not do it in an exaggerated way or you might come off as clownish or cartoonish. Note that it helps to wear a lot of mascara or even false eyelashes, which help accentuate this type of subtle flirting.Advertisement
- 2Give him a look and smile while looking over your shoulder. This is a very simple first step towards getting a man's attention. It lets him know that you are interested in him in a very gentle and simple way and makes it easier for him to approach you during the evening. If he meets your eyes, it is quite fine for you to approach him later on as well.Advertisement
- 3To attract his attention, give him the once over. Simply stop in front of him, say nothing, track your gaze from his shoes to his hair. Then give him a big smile and leave. Do it with a bit of humor, or he might think that you have a problem with him. This is a first step towards getting his attention, without saying a word. This may not lead to a conversation immediately but it is a great way to let him know that you are open to his approach at one point during the evening.
- 4To get the attention of a stranger, pretend to drop something while you are near him and then make eye contact with him. If he has any interest in getting to know you, he will help you retrieve the object. It is best to drop something that makes a little noise, like your purse, so that he has to turn to look at you. You then say thank you, and hopefully, that is your opportunity to start a conversation with him. Note that you should wait for a moment when he is not heavily engaged in a conversation with anyone else, or he may not be paying attention to what is going on around him.
- 5Ask him for his assistance in some way. Develop a sudden problem with an app on your cell phone or ask him to disentangle your hair from the zipper. Tell him you forgot your reading glasses and that you need him to read the menu for him. Another good trick is to pretend that you lost your contact lenses and ask his help in looking for them.
- 6If the man you like is a friend of yours, and you are all hugging as an introduction, then feel free to hug him. This is affectionate and sets a precedent for further conversation and physical contact later. However, note that this only works if you know the man a little bit.
- 7If the two of you are at an event where you have some control over the seating arrangement, then try to sit beside him rather across from him. This gives you more of an opportunity to engage with him in conversation, or even drop things, such as your fork, to get his attention.
- 8Notice if he is wearing anything, doing anything or reading anything that might lead to a conversation. For instance, if he is drinking Jagermeister, go up to him and say something like, "I hear that liquor contains over 56 herbs. If that doesn't cure somebody of what ails them, I don't know what will!" If you see he is reading a book, say something like "Eckhart Tolle! I am a big fan. You must be a person who is looking to better the world in some way. I know I am."
- 9Wear something that is a conversation opener such as an unusual piece of jewelry a vintage t-shirt or even a flower you just picked. You then walk up to the man you are interested in and say something like, "Do you see this poppy I just picked outside! Can you believe that they are already blooming at this time of year?" You could also show him the stone in your ring and say, "Isn't this ring I bought beautiful? However, I can't tell what kind of stone it is, do you know?" Then pull off the ring and give it to him to examine.
- 10Once you are in conversation with him, repeat his name every now and then to bond with him. When you return to him with a reply or a comment, say his name deliberately and softly. This helps him to bond with you and it also gets his attention, especially if his focus seems to be wavering away from you. However, be sure not to say his name too often, or you will sound a bit parental or controlling.
- 11Once you are in conversation with him, ask him if you can share a secret with him. Lean forward and then whisper a sincere compliment into his ear such as, "I don't know I anyone else noticed, but the color or your shirt, matches the color of your eyes and it's perfect." You can also be slightly humorous about the secret you share with him as in, "I have a little secret to share with you. The band that is playing right now sucks." However, before you use humor, make sure that it is not going to offend him in some way, (as it is possible his best buddy is the lead singer of the band you just insulted.)
- 12Once you are in conversation with him, make him feel special by telling him that you see some kind of potential in him. Say something like, "I know I have not known you that long, but I can tell you are the type of man who would rather be hiking in the mountains, and I love hiking myself." The point of this is to subtly flatter him as well as let him know that you are somehow on the same page as him.
- 13Once you are in conversation with him, you can show him with your body language, by leaning in a bit forward and keeping eye contact with him that you are interested in him and only him. This is a way of showing sexual interest, without being too obvious or invasive about it.
- 14Once you are in conversation, if he makes a point that you agree with or is telling you something special, then you can lightly rest your hand on his arm. Do not tap or pat his arm while he is talking, simply rest your hand on his arm for about a minute. This lets him know that you are interested and further intimacy is possible. Do not let your hand stay there if he shrugs it off or if it starts to feel awkward.
- 15Whether standing or sitting, take advantage of opportunities to accidentally graze him with body contact. For instance, if you are passing him in a crowded hallway, be sure to graze against him. If you are sitting next to him at a table, make sure your thigh accidentally-on-purpose brushes against his now and then.
- 16Be sure to laugh at his jokes. Make sure that your laugh is a gentle, mirthful one and not a loud, brash one. You don't want to be belly laughing with him or he will start seeing you as a buddy or like one of the guys. However, demonstrating a sense of humor and laughing at his jokes is a form of flattery and also shows him that you are low maintenance and easy to get along with.
Tips and Tricks
- There are some situations where being too subtle may not work for you, as would be the case if a real sex siren was trying to flirt with him or hone in on your action, in which case you may find yourself being a little more overt or flamboyant in and effort to shoo her away
- If you move in to flirt with a man by touching or hugging him and he flinches or backs away, then abort the move immediately and possibly stop attempting to flirt with him as this is a real message from him that he is not available to you
- Always be charming, which is the art of making people feel good in your presence
- Note that flirting works because it is not so much about making you seem attractive as it is making him or her seem attractive
- Never text a man before your meeting, even if your best friend gave him your number, as that is seen as a bit tacky and desperate
- Never interrupt a man when he speaking, no matter how wrong you think he is, as most men find this trait a real sexual turn off