Use Non-Sexual Touching to Build Intimacy

Snuggling does not always have to lead to sex.

As anyone who has ever been in love knows, a good relationship is not all about sex. Sexual chemistry counts but affection and attentiveness without the expectation of sex can create a true bond between two people. One of the foundations of a good relationship is the ability to build intimacy, without making it all about sexual goals. One of the ways to do this is to build intimacy with non-sexual touching.

The benefits of building an intimate physical relationship through non-sexual touching include:

• More trust between each other because touching each other without the expectation of sex is deeply bonding
• The relief of stress anxiety and depression because the skin has receptors that stimulate your brain to produce feel-good chemicals
• Better physical health for both of you as the body warmth and touching helps to relax tight muscles
• Feeling more emotionally secure, confident and happy because you are being hugged and held all of the time
• Not feeling like a sex object, as is so often the case with women, but also sometimes with men

Touch builds trust.

Both men and women can use these techniques to build intimacy in their relationship.

1. 1
   Hold hands whenever the opportunity to do so presents itself. Be sure to take walks with each other while holding hands. You can also hold hands when you are doing more ordinary things, such as grocery shopping or standing in a line-up to go to the movies. You should also make an effort to hold each other hands whenever you are lying or sitting next to each other in private. Nobody needs to be watching this, for be a significant message to your partner that the two of you are on the same team.

   

   Hold hands whenever you can to help build intimacy.

   

   Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
2. 2
   Hug your partner as often as possible. Hug them when they leave and when they come back. Hug each other when cooking and hug each other for no reason. You should also curl up together and hug each other tightly when you are in bed. A great way to hug each other all night is to sleep in the spooning position, where one partner curls up around the other person's back. You can switch back and forth in this position all night, with first the man cradling the woman's back and then the woman cradling the man's back. Another great way to hug is to sneak up behind your partner, put your chin in the crook of his or her neck and sway back and forth while hugging him or her. Giving your partner an unexpected hug, when they are doing the dishes or filling out a form at the bank, can also go a long ways towards building intimacy.

   

   Hug often without having the encounter leading to sex.

   Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
3. 3
   Give your partner the tap or pat of approval whenever you can. This is just a very single tap or pat on the arm or the back that shows your partner support and encouragement, especially when they seem worried or challenged by a difficult task. It is a simple movement that just simply says, "Hey, I am always here for you."

   

   Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
4. 4
   If you are a man, and the two of you are out walking or at a party, put your hand on the small of her lower back. This is a very friendly and affectionate move that makes her feel protected and guided emotionally. This is also a good way to touch her if you are in public, as it is intimate yet very respectful.

   

   Touching the lower back is intimate, but not sexual.

   Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
5. 5
   Never miss an opportunity to do a slow dance together, and when you do, make sure your bodies are pressed close together and that you are dancing cheek to cheek. One way to encourage intimacy without touching at home is to put on a favorite song and have a waltz around the room. You can also dance, with your bodies pressed closely together, with no music playing, which is equally romantic.

   

   Slow dancing leads to intimacy without sex.

   Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
6. 6
   Never miss an opportunity to snuggle with each other. You can snuggle while watching television together, while stuck in a traffic jam or while riding a ski lift. Snuggling is a form of non-verbal communication that says I love you.

   

   Never miss an opportunity to snuggle with each other.

   Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
7. 7
   Play with each other's hair. Both men and women respond positively to having their hair stroked, as it is a very nurturing form of personal preening that was first done to them by their mothers. If your man does not have any hair, you can still run your fingers across his bare scalp. If you are a man, you can try braiding or combing her long hair for her. If your man has long hair, he may enjoy having you braid his hair and putting it up in a bun for him at night.

   

   Giving your man a hairdo, such as a man bun, can be deeply bonding.

   Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
8. 8
   Take a bath or a shower together and wash each other all over with soap and a washcloth. This is a very hygienic way to get up close and personal with your partner, without getting too sexual, that can be very sensual and relaxing as well.

   

   Having a bath together can be deeply intimate and bonding.

   Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
9. 9
   Give your partner a massage. This is a very simple form of non-sexual touching. Start by massaging your partner's shoulders to release any kinks that they might have in their muscles. You can buy massage oils for home use and give them a full-body massage. Massages can sometimes lead to sex, but more often than not, they lead to your partner falling into a pleasant light sleep, because they are so relaxed afterwards.

   Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
10. 10
    Give your partner a manicure and a pedicure. Doing your partner's nails is very intimate and bonding because it involves a lot of touching of the fingers and toes, which are very sensitive parts of the body.

    

    Giving your partner a pedicure is an intimate, yet non-sexual activity.

    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help

The simplest moves can be the most effective when it comes to non-sexual touching.

• Sometimes, the more subtle and the simple the movement is, such as the brush of a hand across the cheek, the more it touches your partner's heart
• If the physical intimacy leads to sex, that is fine, but neither partner should have the expectation that it absolutely must every time
• If you set up the expectation that every act of intimate touching must lead to sex, then you are a creating a situation where one partner may start avoiding the other, which down the line can lead to feelings of anger and rejection

If you have problems with any of the steps in this article, please ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.

Comments