Use NLP to Attract a Man

Edited by Donna, Eng

The Benefits of Using NLP to Attract A Man

NLP techniques can be used to attract a man to you.


NLP is short for neurolinguistic programming, a methodology that uses psychology, hypnosis and subconscious persuasion techniques in order to improve your communication skills.

NLP can help you attract a man because:

  • It is essentially a training method that uses the powers of suggestion to convince a man to do what you want
  • It improves you communication and conversational skills, so that you are able to clearly and concisely express yourself to anyone
  • It is seductive, yet not too obvious, helping you to appear like an object of desire rather than like someone who is desperate to attract a man
  • It saves you time and a lot of small talk because it increases the man's familiarity with you very quickly
  • It is a method of attraction and seduction that makes men feel good about knowing you
  • Any relationship that begins with these methods tends to get off on a good foot immediately, because you have made an excellent first impression
  • When NLP is used to attract a man, it impresses your memory on his subconscious, so he is more likely to ask you out on that first or second date

How to Use NLP Techniques to Attract A Man

Mirroring his body language conveys to him and others that the two of you are a couple.


Here is how you can use NLP techniques to attract and seduce a man.

  1. 1
    Use the NLP technique of mirroring to build an immediate sense of rapport with him. If he is sitting with his arms and legs crossed, you do the same. If he is standing, you stand too. If he is nodding his head to the music, you do too. You are, in essence, mirroring his actions with your own to make him feel like the two of you are on the same team. However, be a bit subtle and natural about it, so he does not feel that you are making fun of him somehow by imitating him.
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  2. 2
    Notice his breath patterns and try to match your own breath with his. This is a very subtle, persuasive technique for getting the two of you on the same wavelength. This takes mirroring one step further. If he coughs, you cough too. If he sighs, you sigh as well. It is a way of physically pairing with him, without you having to touch him physically at all. On a subconscious level, this helps him feel more comfortable with you.
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  3. 3
    Speak in a slow rhythmic way with very little alteration in your tone until the end of a sentence. Speaking in a slow rhythmic way helps draw him into your conversation because he has to work a bit harder to detect the meaning of what you have to say. The only time that you speak a bit louder or with more emphasis is when you are embedding a command into your speech as is instructed in the next step. Otherwise, you are to keep your tone even, which lulls him into listening to your words.
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  4. 4
    Use embedded commands to subconsciously trigger him to subconsciously obey you. When talking to him, think of a command of less than five words and how to fit it into your speech and then, when you are speaking in your lulling, even tone, suddenly pause, state the command, pause again and then continue speaking. This works because it causes him to notice the command, more than he would notice the other parts of your speech. An example of an embedded command would be, "When you visit Central Park next Thursday be sure to ... (louder) text me and I will meet you. (quieter again) maybe at the Alice in Wonderland Statue or the concession near the pond."
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  5. 5
    Use embedded commands at least seven times in your conversation to get the response you need. Men who are very self-preoccupied may need the mention of your intention at least this many times, before they really hear you, remember what you have said to them and follow up as you instructed them to with the embedded command. Men that already have a bit of interest in you, may not need to hear it as often, as in, only three or four times. You should also be careful to sound natural when using the command so that you do not sound like you are nagging or being to repetitive. Always return to speaking in the regular, lulling rhythm that you have been using in order to keep him hooked on your every word.
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  6. 6
    During conversation, point or gesture towards yourself, even when you are describing the positive attributes of someone or something else. This is a subconscious call, using persuasive body language, for his focus to be on you and nobody else the whole time. For example, when you say something like "I feel very attracted to watching foreign French films," be sure to pause before you say the words "feel attracted" in order to subconsciously associate that phrase with you. Other short phrases that you can use to compel him to think of you in a romantic way are "special person", "you will love", "you like me", "take risks", "be excited", and "make love.'
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  7. 7
    Whenever he tells you what he is feeling during a conversation, make sure that he knows you are feeling the same. This "twinning" of your feelings works in much the same way as mirroring, to help him feel as if the two of you are more compatible. If he is telling a sad story, make a sad face. Tell him that you feel exactly the same way all of the time gesturing subtly to yourself and saying something like, "My heart feels you." Do not say that you feel pain or he may subconsciously associate you with pain.
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  8. 8
    Use the technique of anchoring a conversation to associate you with an exciting state or experience. When a man is attracted to a woman, he feels a little rush of adrenalin. When you anchor a conversation you are recalling a past exciting or thrilling experience that he may have also had by talking about it and gesturing towards yourself. A sample statement would be "I like you...(pause)...love exploring abandoned historic buildings with just a flashlight.
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  9. 9
    Tell him what his responses are to the world to persuade his subconscious mind to focus on you. When you use this technique, you answer the man's questions for him to tell him how you are feeling. Examples of this are starting sentences with the phrases "I know that you feel.", "I know that you believe ...", or "I know you are thinking..." and then fill it in with a suggestion or notion of compatibility, such as "I know that you believe...(pause and louder)...like me ...that this restaurant is the best in town so we are going there." Notice that the phrase "we are going there is an embedded command and that the phrase "like me" is a subconscious gesture to get him to focus on you and remember you.
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  10. 10
    Use the technique of repeating his responses to mirror back his conversation to you. This requires repeating what he says to you and responding to it, without actually putting anything of yourself into the response. For instance, if he tells you "I am travelling to Paris next week." respond with "Paris is good." This forces him to explain further in the hopes that he will get a more detailed response from you. This is a way of keeping him focused on you throughout the conversation.
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  11. 11
    Put him in a double binding situation by offering him options that only give him one choice. An example would be, "Do you want to leave now or do you want to leave later?" There is no third option that allows him to choose what he really wants to do and the omission of these choice functions just like an embedded command.
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Tips and Tricks

Taking voice lessons with a vocal couch can help you control your breath.
  • Taking voice lessons can help you gain control over your breath, which can help you maintain the lower tone required to speak in a lower mesmerizing tone to the man you want to attract
  • Reading poetry out loud to yourself can help you speak more rhythmically and in a mesmerizing way and also help you find your own natural lulling rhythm when you speak
  • When embedding commands into your conversation, the fewer the better, because this experience should be all about emphasizing your primary goal in the conversation
  • Never stray from your original intentions when speaking to the person, as NLP is based on a person's very primal psychological needs to find patterns in the speech of others and once they detect the pattern, they tend to remember it and have a positive association with it
  • When using embedded commands make sure that they are in the present tense and proactive and include phrases such as "call me", "text me", "do it now", "feel good about this", "love it", "say yes", "choose me", "trust me" and "do this sooner"
  • If the man you are trying to talk is familiar with NLP seduction techniques, then they may not necessarily work for you

If you have problems with any of the steps in this article, please ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.

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Categories : Relationships

Recent edits by: Donna

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