Understand an Obsessive Boyfriend

Love and obsession: Do you really know the boundaries between the two? Can you be in love and obsessed at the same time?

During the early stages of the relationship, most people mistake obsessive

love for commitment and caring. They're not the same thing. Obsessive love isn't a healthy kind of relationship. Often, it shows itself in the form of jealousy and later, certain negative behaviors that can either be physically or emotionally abusive. The problem is that most people take the jealousy from their new date, lover or partner to be a sign that they're really serious about the relationship. The truth is that there's always a tinge of jealousy whenever you see your partner, lover or date paying attention to or flirting with another person.

However, if the new love interest has acted on this type of feeling by smothering, lashing out or becoming hostile, it's no longer a healthy sign of true love. So what's the right thing to do whenever a partner or lover is jealous? Such concern should be discussed and it should be in a way that's full of honesty and respectfulness.

There are key signs for you to gauge whether or not your boyfriend or lover is an obsessive type. Once you determine that he has these qualities, you shouldn't let him cross the line. In other words, this will serve as the red flag. The relationship may no longer be positive or healthy for either party.

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   Lack of space and time

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   You might have heard this before - never date a marathon control freak! Does your lover require you to let him know where you are every minute? Does he call you every hour just to make sure that you are at work and not at the mall? Remember that with email, cellular phones, social media and text messages, it became a lot easier for anyone, especially an obsessed individual to literally know where someone is every minute. A healthy relationship allows you to have time for yourself. It should also allow you to handle things on your own without restrictions or limitations.

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2. 2
   Unexpected visits

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   To have your boyfriend take you to lunch by surprise or drop by your home to give flowers is a sweet thing. However, if this type of behavior becomes an ongoing or daily thing, it's no longer considered healthy. In fact, most people would even consider this stalking and spying.

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3. 3
   Isolation

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   It's definitely a red flag if you start spending all your free time alone with your boyfriend and away from your family members and friends. Isolation is considered a key for many obsessive lovers since they will become their partner's universe.

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4. 4
   Cycles of conflict

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   Be watchful when it comes to determining certain patterns of conflict, which may include anger and blow-ups over your own behavior, friends, social interactions and choices. These conflicts are mostly followed by promises of better behavior, apologies and even lavishing attention and presents. There is a risk that you are dealing with an abusive or obsessive lover. You have to understand that these things do not begin during the onset of your relationship, but it tends to increase in frequency and severity as the relationship eventually progresses. It's important to comprehend that there's nothing that can be done to change your obsessive lover's behavior. The best thing to do is seek professional help. Consult a counselor so you can work to have a loving and positive relationship without being obsessed over or controlled.

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If you have problems with any of the steps in this article, please ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.

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