Tell if Your Husband Is Cheating or Having an Affair
Edited by Train Wreck, VisiHow, Eng
Have you been having the feeling that your relationship with your husband has inexplicably changed? Do you have a feeling, a suspicion, or even evidence that he could be or is cheating on you? In this article, we will discuss some of the signs that your husband may, in fact, be having an affair. We will also discuss some of the reasons why someone might have an affair, and what you should do if you suspect that an affair is taking place.
Why Your Husband Might Have an Affair
There are about as many reasons given for having an affair as there are people who have affairs. Here, we will review three of the top reasons. If you'd like to add your own reasons, let us know in the section below this article, and we'll put them here too.
People who cheat may cite one reason, or even multiple reasons why they decided to seek companionship or intimacy outside of their marriages. It's probably important for you to know some of these reasons, so that if you recognize them in your own relationship, you can take action. That action might be working to repair your relationship, such as talking to your spouse about getting relationship counseling, or it might be that you just decide he's used up his luck.
- 1There is an increase in distance. Physical and emotional intimacy are important in a marriage. Whether you are fighting at home, avoiding each other more often, not showing physical affection to each other, or otherwise being unsupportive, you are creating distance in your marriage. A man who is not able to feel comfort at home is at risk of seeking comfort outside of it.Advertisement
- 2Your husband's ego has been damaged or he feels unimportant. Husbands need to feel desired, admired, and appreciated. When daily life involves a never-ending routine of work, child care, chores, and bills, it can be easy for couples to fail in making each other a priority. It is important to note, however, that when men start to feel unimportant to their wives, they may seek validation of themselves outside the marriage. Additionally, if his ego has been damaged, such as after a layoff from work, it is likely for these same feelings of unimportance and under appreciation will surface.Advertisement
- 3Boredom or being consistently overworked. Believe it or not, boredom has been cited as a top reason by some men for why they engaged in an affair. The thing is, some of them weren't even bored in their marriages! Boredom and stagnation in an important area of his life, such as at home or work, may lead to thrill-seeking behaviors as he tries to bring some excitement back into his life. Alternatively, being overworked for long periods of time may lead him to seek out something different as a reward. Either way, the end result is him cheating.
In fact, there are many other reasons people give for cheating. We've listed only a few of the top ones. Now that you know some of these reasons, let's discuss a few of the signs that your husband is cheating. Remember that as each couple is different, these signs may or may not mean that your spouse is actually having an affair. If you want more signs than this, make sure to check out our article on 33 sure signs your husband is cheating.
Signs Your Husband is Cheating
- 1Unusual behavior. People are typically creatures of habit. This is especially true of most men. So it's likely that your husband has developed a particular pattern of behavior during your marriage. Look for sudden, odd, unexplainable changes in his behavior and routine. If he suddenly begins avoiding family or doesn't involve you in social events, begins spending a lot of time with another person -- particularly of the opposite gender, or is away from the home at work or on errands longer than usual, there could be a problem that needs to be addressed. You know what they say. Where there's smoke, there's fire.Advertisement
- 2Electronic clues and secrecy. Mobile and electronic communications have brought with them many benefits -- and also many drawbacks. One of the drawbacks is the ease with which people can cheat on their partners. Is your spouse suddenly spending an unusual amount of time online, especially at odd times? There may be cases in which this behavior can be completely normal, however a sudden shift in behavior might signal that something is happening. Husbands who cheat may also have multiple mobile devices, password protected devices, and begin to empty out e-mail when they once would let messages pile up. In fact, this behavior is so common that there are applications and programs for smartphones that let you read his messages to see if he is cheating.
- 3Sudden change in or preoccupation with appearance. Has your husband suddenly taken an unusual interest in his appearance, such as grooming or dressing differently, or even switching the cologne he's been wearing for years? If you haven't had a discussion about grooming and hygiene habits, and there is no reasonable explanation for such a change, the extra effort could be made to impress or gain the attention of another person. It's also possible he's trying to please or impress you, but if his appearance has changed and he's not showing you more attention, that's a bad sign.
- 4He doesn't seem to pay as much attention to you or to your relationship as he once did, or he pays much more attention. A cheating husband may appear to be less considerate and pay less attention to your bond than he did before, since his attention is divided. He may express a desire for additional time alone, become defensive and argumentative. There are cases, however, in which a husband may become a little bit too attentive in an attempt to avoid suspicion. Again, here you should pay attention to sudden changes that are not easy to explain. It might seem like a bit too much precaution, but sometimes any change can be a bad change.
Remember that not all of these signs necessarily mean that your husband has started an affair. Also, these are only a few of many, many signs that may signal a problem. In addition, signs of cheating may not always be so obvious and dramatic. Most of the time the earliest clue may be your own feeling that things have simply changed. Remember, men are very aware of women's intuition. In fact, it scares quite a few of them. So if you suspect he is cheating, trust your instincts and do a little digging.
If You Suspect Your Husband is Cheating
- 1If you only have a feeling that your husband may be cheating, do not to approach him with an accusation. At this point, you may have no proof, so it is very important not to accuse him. It is far better to prepare yourself and see if there is actual evidence before you confront your husband with your suspicions.
- Whatever you decide, we do recommend that you and your husband make an appointment with a relationship or marriage counselor who can help overcome negative emotions. This will allow you sort through your feelings and decide how to proceed.