Tell if Your Husband Hates You

Edited by Train Wreck, Eng, VisiHow, Maria Quinney and 1 other

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If you were looking for advice for men, make sure to check out our article on how to tell if your wife hates you.

Whether you've been married to your husband for a short time or many years, there may come a time when all you receive from him are negative emotions and criticism. You may have begun wondering what is wrong and how come he no longer seems to show any love toward you. You might also wonder if you've just misunderstood his behavior. Wherever you are in terms of understanding how your husband feels about you, this article will help you answer any lingering questions about whether your husband is just upset, or actually hates you.

Six Signs Your Husband Secretly Hates You

If you have been wondering whether or not your husband hates you, read on to discover some of the signals. While some are rather obvious, a few others are not. You might be surprised at what you've been missing.

  1. 1
    He is highly critical of you
    No matter what you do, you can never seem to do anything right. Your husband constantly criticizes what you cook, how you dress, or even how you fix your hair. He always seems to find a reason why what you have done just wasn't good enough. Whether it happens intentionally or not doesn't matter, because it still hurts. You may be surprised to hear this, but the behavior he is demonstrating happens largely because he cannot find a common language with you. In some cases, he may not even be aware that what he says is hurtful. If you are experiencing this situation in your marriage, it is worth finding out why. If you are unable to speak to each other constructively but both express a desire to continue the marriage, it may be worth seeking the services of a relationship or marriage counselor who will be able to mediate your discussions and suggest better communication techniques. However, if he's not interested in talking about more than what a bad job you've done, you might have a husband who hates you.
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  2. 2
    He is emotionally abusive
    This is one of the most severe, troubling issues a marriage can face in addition to being one of the most difficult for many people to recognize. When you first begin to notice signs of trouble in your marriage, you may be tempted or even encouraged to look at your own behavior as the cause. If your husband is consistently behaving offensively toward you, it may not be your fault. If you begin to see the signs of emotional abuse in your own marriage, look carefully at this situation and assess how likely it is to change for the better, or even for the worse. This is a very serious issue that should never be overlooked, and should always be addressed. Your husband may not hate you, but he could very well hate himself. Either way, no matter who he hates, it's a dangerous and unhealthy situation for you. Get out now. If you really love him, you can go to counseling together; but after you have separated and you're safe.
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  3. 3
    He avoids spending time with you
    If your husband is spending longer hours at work or going out after work with colleagues or friends, you may begin to wonder if he is having an affair. While you have every right to wonder if he may be having an affair, he could simply be getting out of the house to avoid interacting with you. If he declines participating in activities with you, especially in those that involve more interaction, such as joining you when you meet with your friends or family, he may be trying to avoid spending time with you and with those close to you. If he does join you for an evening out, it may only be for activities that don't involve a lot of engagement, such as watching a new film at the theater. He may be ready with excuses, but if you notice that his refusal to participate in things that are important to you is becoming routine, there may be a problem in your marriage that needs to be addressed. He might not hate you yet, but if he is avoiding you, it's only going to get worse.
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  4. 4
    He forgets important dates
    While it is true that more than a few men are more forgetful than women when it comes to important dates such as special events, birthdays or anniversaries, you may have noticed that your once more organized husband suddenly doesn't seem to remember them. Where he once seemed to care much more and celebrate every milestone with you; now he cannot seem to remember and doesn't seem to care much. Again, this signal will not be so obvious in some men because they, by nature, may simply not remember for no malicious reason. However, if there is a change in a husband who did remember, you'd be wise to take notice.
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  5. 5
    He is physically violent towards you
    Both emotional and physical violence are serious signs of a problem and should be addressed promptly if they ever appear in your marriage. Pushing, hitting, shoving, and even biting are all forms of physical abuse and aggression. If this aggression is not addressed, it may pile up and become more severe over time. Remember that abusive behavior is a huge and dangerous issue. If you have been suffering from physical and/or emotional abuse in your marriage, you need to get out. You can sort out your feelings and whether he hates you or not once you have found a safe place to be.
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  6. 6
    He no longer shows affection
    While it is generally widely believed that women are more affectionate than men, a man in love will show affection on even the smallest occasions. He will not hesitate to hug his wife, give her a kiss, hold her hand, or play with her hair. If you try to kiss him, however, and he turns his head or avoids physical contact with you for an extended period of time, you may rightly begin to wonder if your husband hates you. Physical contact and intimacy are very important for maintaining the bond between a husband and wife. Avoiding physical affection is a sure sign that something is wrong in your marriage. Try to catch his heart before he decides he really hates you and tries to move on.
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Is Your Relationship In Trouble?

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Regardless of the amount of time you and your husband have spent together as a married couple, when you feel that something has changed in your marriage, it's time to be worried. After all, it is your marriage, not a weekend romance, or you learning what it's like to date. So take action. Sometimes the love that connected you both simply disappears, but other times it changes into pure hate. Clearly, you cannot completely control your husband's emotions, but if you recognize some of the signs described above in your own marriage, you should definitely consider your next steps. Maybe you can bring him back, and maybe not. Just remember, if you don't give these important relationship signals the attention they deserve, you'll lose your husband for sure.

See more articles for women on relationships: Signs That Your Marriage Is Over, Telling If Your Husband Does Not Love You Anymore, Getting Relationship Advice, Getting Over Divorce (for Women), Getting Over a Broken Heart (for Women), Cheating Husband, Finding Out If Your Husband Loves You, Write an Apology Letter to Your Husband, and Surviving Internet Affairs and Repairing Relationships.

Questions and Answers

Is it Love or hate? Feeling betrayed?

I have been with my husband for almost 24 years now and been married for 18 years, he treats me like dirt, no support only criticism, I think he lost love but he doesn't want to accept it, I have lost my parents in a same year 7 weeks apart and he never supported me even then after three day of burying my mother he said to me until when am I going to mourn my parents they are death I must just accept it and move on, we then argue and it came to a point that I called the police to come intervene he shouted at them telling them they are young to know about marriage, they just said to me how can they help me, I asked them to help me pack my clothes and I moved to my parents house, I then moved out and he kept on calling me asking me to forgive him and promised to get some help, I did believe him but he never changed, he booked himself in a physiologic clinic and I told myself he is willing to change, but I was just in denial cause thing started to be more serious than before, he started accusing me of cheating, started to cut off my family, he didn't want them in our home anymore, he really hated them, one day I caught him cheating but I didn't fight I just asked him if is this the life is willing to live, his answer was what must he do staying with someone who doesn't satisfy his needs and I asked him what does he mean by that as he is the one who no longer wants to be intimate with me anymore we shared a bed for two years not been intimate I was depressed asking myself if this is real, he even can spend months not talking to me but we leave in the same house and sleep in the same bed, one day he tried to stab me with a knife but he didn't succeed as I ran away, the next day he called me and told me he went to see his lawyer and he was thinking we should get a divorce, I answered him that I think it will be a good idea cause we hurting each other everyday, he was not very happy about my response he fought with me again, but he cooled down again and the next day he told me he wants us to fix our marriage but what fears me was he didn't want me to go see any family or friend we should always stay home we just go to work and then home, weekends we should just stay indoor, one night woke up in the middle of the night not feeling well I woke him up to take me to hospital, when we get there I was almost dead, doctors said I inhaled a poison and I might be brain dead the doctors asked him and my son to just spend few minutes with me and decide whether to switch the machine or what, my son said there was a Nigerian lady doctor who asked to pray for me and she did, and I moved my hand, I was rushed to ICU and doctors tried by all means to bring me back to life, by the grace of GOD I did survive and I spent 7 days in ICU, after that I was discharged went to spent a week with my sister and went back to my place then , but I felt that I was not getting better and my voice keeps on shutting down day by day, and I always complain to him that I feel there is something wrong with me, he really played supportive through all this but one day I was really sick and I asked GOD if he can only show me what is it that makes me so helpless and sick all the time, the word just came to me saying go and check in your husband belongings, there was a box just near his bedside I checked inside and I found some white powder in a small plastic bag, I then called my younger sister asking her if she knows someone who works at the lab so he/she can test something for me, she agreed to help me, that powder was tested and it happens to be a cyanide poison I knew then that my husband is behind all this poison issue I didn't confront him as I was afraid he might just do something, since that day I started to be careful on everything I do and eat, I couldn't sleep properly since then, he said to me he can feel that something is bothering me cause I have changed and I didn't want him to touch me anymore, he said he is too stressed and he wants to be booked to physiological clinic again he eventually booked himself in, everyday I went visit him and one day while we were chatting he said to me, you know when I am home I can't sleep and I look at you, you sleeping so peacefully and I then think of taking a knife and stab you and stab you and I asked him for what reason he said I don't know I just feel that, I was shocked and numb I told myself this man really wants me dead, I went home that night pack all my clothes and move back to my parents house, I just send him a message saying I have moved out as I don't feel safe in that house anymore, so he fought with doctors to discharge him he went home and found that I am really gone, he always calls me ask if we can talk I told him I am done talking with him and also told him about the poison he denies it but I can feel that he knows about it, so if you were in my situation can you really try to fix this marriage?. I have tried: I have moved out still trying to get myself together resting a lot. I think it was caused by: I don't know

You are in a very dangerous situation. Did you report the poison found in your home? Your husband has an abusive obsession with you that may not end even though you moved out of the house. You can't fix a marriage where one person tries to stab the other and then poison them. He needs to be in jail for what he has done. Contact a lawyer and file for divorce. Explain in detail to the lawyer of why you fear for your safety. You may need to move again to an unknown location so that you can help remain safe from any reprisal from your husband. See of there is a local domestic violence support group. You can inquire at your doctor's office.

The misunderstanding between us, what should I do?

He has cheated on me, and wants to get separated from me but I don't want that. I'm not able to talk him as I normally would. I'm not even able to show my feelings to him, or that I care for him. I'm not able to talk him, I don't know what comes between us.

You have to let him go. He has already left this relationship emotionally and is looking for any excuse to completely cut off ties with you. If he loves you and this relationship is meant to be, he will realize that he made a mistake and come back to you. Keeping him in the relationship will only cause further resentment and anger.

Has my husband cheated or is he about to and how can this problem and hurtful behavior occur all of a sudden and no warning sign was showed after 17 years no problem how could this out of the blue happen and whats it mean?

I have a girlfriend not bestie just simple friend...well as she had problems I allowed her in my home I know woman so I kept the guard up ... I'm married happily for 17 years always been open trusting and considerate to one another I stepped out across street 3 min tops well she ended up leaving b4 end of 1st night and that is when my husband tells me she tried to discuss her breast to him he said he responded by changing subject...well I knew futer situations don't allow lone time I wasn't sure of her intensions.. Well years later we had to stay with her 3 nights and before I got worried severly upset worry I asked my husband to please not allow himself any alone freedom with the 2 of them only I expressed my concern and said she was the reason I preferred this because I know she had disrespectful spiteful intensions that was meant. To cause mis trust from me . Towards my husband...I thought my husband would never allow her mind to let her feel that no one could ever cause him to make his wife feel bad or have any mistrust in our marriage...well a situation comes up and I walked into a room and him standing at foot of bed in front of her sitting at foot of bed hes talking away until he looks up sees me and talking stops. They. Then leave later I ask him what was being talked about he replies he can't remember he was just answering her but its nothing big... I said why would you allow yourself a time alone after I cried to you begging you not to and he responds he did nothing he feels that was bad enough for me to be upset at him ..leaving my feelings feeling completely disregarded shut down unimportant and allows me unanswered answers and I'm really worried this is not normal behavior from him ... What do you think. Why would he make his wife of 17 years feel hurt and act as if I am overreacting and tell me I worried so much that I have convinced myself something happened and its leaving no room for a no to be the truth .. I am so hurt and confused because my husband has never once made my heart hurt and not appoljize or console me and every time any concern about this situation he screams loudly leaving the problem shut down and still unanswered.. Some relationship troubles usually take place and one of the spouses can usually suspect an arising problem but I have never had my husband to ever intentionally hurt my feelings especially if he saw me crying and deeply worried with a problem I am so completely caught off guard that I can't let it go.. And I need answers

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Article Info

Categories : Marriage

Recent edits by: Maria Quinney, VisiHow, Eng

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