Prepare Yourself to Deal with a Cheating Boyfriend
Edited by Nikki, Grimm, Doug Collins, Eng and 6 others
This article is part of our series on Relationships, Dating, and Marriage, click to read more articles.
Dating Can Drive a Girl Crazy
It doesn't matter whether you're dating men or boys. They're all the same when it comes to cheating boyfriends, and all you need to do to catch one is pay attention. Of course, it's how you pay attention that matters and whether you're prepared to accept the facts, or prefer to make excuses for him.
In order to effectively pay attention, you need to be mentally prepared, so that you approach the possibility of your boyfriend cheating from a position of strength. To do that, don't ever let your emotions get out of control, and make sure you remain focused at all times.
To focus, just remind yourself of two things. First, you don't need a man who isn't honest. In fact, if you're with a cheater, it's just like that U2 song says - you don't need him anymore than a fish needs a bicycle. Second, you're far more important than a cheating boyfriend. Never lose sight of that. If he is cheating, he's not even worth the time it takes to write this sentence. Go find someone who is.
Just don't forget that most guys aren't cheaters - they just do some pretty stupid things sometimes. Like puppies, you need to train them, and sometimes they'll chew up your favorite shoes too, but really, all they want is love.
With that in mind, here is how to mentally prepare yourself to deal with a cheating boyfriend:
Steps to Prepare Yourself
- 1Make sure you're relaxed, because you'll think more clearly. Poor judgment could cause you to do something without thinking, like look through his phone before considering whether he's going to notice or not. If he didn't do anything wrong, this can cause some pretty serious problems. More importantly, losing your cool means you lost control. If he's a bad guy, that lets him blame you for any problems you have. Since you're emotional, you'll be more likely to believe that it really is somehow your fault, and that it couldn't have been his fault.Advertisement
- 2Think about your man from the perspective of someone who cares about you. For example, people like your best friend, father, mother, and even your own brothers and sisters. Ask yourself what they would think about your concerns, and whether they would think your boyfriend was cheating.Advertisement
- 3Remember those deep breaths we discussed in step one? Now's a good time to take one, and remind yourself you didn't raise your man. His mama, or someone else did. No matter what you do, you're not going to change much about whether he cheats or not. Either he's a dog, and sooner or later he's probably going to cheat, or he's a puppy, and as long as you take care of him, he's probably never going to leave your side. Keep that in mind, just in case you find out he's a dog instead of a sweet little puppy. You can't change a dog or teach him new tricks, so don't waste your time on a man you find out is a dog.
- 4Consider all of the wonderful things that you are. Think about how hard you've worked to be those things, and what it would mean if he didn't appreciate them. Don't take offense if you find out he didn't appreciate them. Instead, consider that the man you thought was so smart and so sweet is actually pretty stupid not to have understood how lucky he was to have you.
- 5Ask yourself if you really want to spend the rest of your life with a man who's too stupid to even appreciate you. The answer is probably no, especially if you were planning on having children. If he doesn't appreciate you, he's probably not as smart as you thought he was. Or, put bluntly, he's probably pretty stupid.
Tips to Help Keep you Sane
- Now that you're mentally prepared, it's time to get down to the business of finding out whether your boyfriend is cheating. Either he appreciates you, or he's a cheating dog who's never going to understand just what a wonderful woman you are. To find out, you'll probably want to read How To Find Out If Your Boyfriend Is Cheating.
Warning - If he is cheating, don't lose your cool
- Since you're mentally prepared, if you do find out that he's cheating, you might go all Lara Croft on him. He might not even notice, at least, not until he wakes up. Make sure you don't lose control, even if he is a dog. That just makes you look bad.
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