Play Hard to Get to Attract His Attention

Edited by Donna, Eng

The courtship game called "playing hard to get" is as old as romance itself and is accompanied by many other axioms about courtship such "men want they can't have", "men love the thrill of the chase" and "men want what other men want."

Many women object to playing hard to get because they see it as playing head games with a man that they truly would rather be honest with because they want to build a long-term relationship with him. However, the male psyche is hard-wired to be attracted to a strong, independent woman who values herself more than him and who is a bit mysterious, sensual and yes, considered to be a bit of a catch by other men.

If you are playing the opposite of "hard to get", which is "easy to get" you may be accidentally banishing romantic prospects of away without even knowing it.

Here is some age-old wisdom about how be more attractive to men by adopting that irresistible air of unattainability and mystery.

Being well groomed let's him know you are hot! Photo - State Library of Queensland.

He Thinks You're Hot Because You Are Telling Him You Are!

The best way to tell men that you are hot is to act like you are and that includes every aspect of your attitude, behavior, manners and appearance. This is because psychologists have been telling us for decades that humans rapidly telegraph how they want to be treated by other within five minutes of meeting someone new.

To let him know how hot you are take the following steps -

  1. 1
    Always dress to kill and dressy but not so sexy that you look like a streetwalker
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  2. 2
    Wear makeup and pay special attention to your skin and lips to make sure that you have a special glow
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  3. 3
    Make sure your hair is soft, shiny and always cut and styled well
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  4. 4
    Move slowly and deliberately and always be cool in that "I got this" type of way no matter what is going on
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  5. 5
    Become a master of the mysterious little smile and avoid guffaws and giggles
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  6. 6
    Throw him a deliberate sexy look every now and then but then look away to lure him to your side
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  7. 7
    Speak clearly and concisely and do most of the talking with your eyes
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  8. 8
    Let your body language do most of the talking by posing nicely to show off a bit of cleavage or leg
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  9. 9
    Don't dance unless you dance well
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  10. 10
    Don't offer unnecessary comments or attempt to take over conversations and never resort to hysterical babbling to fill in gaps in a conversation
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  11. 11
    If you must have a conversation, make it all about current events, a hobby or something interesting
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  12. 12
    Brag subtly about yourself if you are a foodie, good cook or make a lot of money
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  13. 13
    You can also indicate that you are cool by indicating that you have interests that males might like such as photography, camping or flying your drone
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  14. 14
    Never gossip about others or display jealousy of other women
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  15. 15
    Don't refer to your past or ex-boyfriends ever
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  16. 16
    Keep any attempts at humor sophisticated, non-racist and simple
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Finally, if the conversation becomes personal, make it about him but not you - never reveal too much so that he is always seeking out more about you!

Part of playing hard to get is not to allow too much physical contact at first. Photo by lulia pironea

Why Is He Ignoring You?

If men are ignoring you or dismissing you as a romantic prospect it means that there is something that you are expressing to them, right within the first few minutes of meeting them that tells that you are operating from a place of low self-esteem -

  • Talking about your ex-boyfriend can indicate that you come with a lot of baggage
  • Making too many jokes can indicate that you want to be his buddy and not his lover
  • Showing up looking a bit messy and too casual indicates depression and neediness
  • Telling him hard-luck stories indicates you are an abandoned orphan need to be rescued and that is just too high maintenance for most men
  • Doing things for him like buying him drinks or asking too many questions will remind him of a meddling mother and for most men that is not sexy

Men are simply not attracted to controlling nurturers, helpless wide-eyed orphans or drama queens with chips on their shoulders. What they really want is a woman who operates from a place of empowerment, who is a living goddess in every way and who finds her personal centre from within and not from being with a guy.

Remember if you don't tell him a story about how you value yourself and think you are the prize, he won't either!

Part of playing hard to get is letting his see you getting attention from other males. Library of Congress Photo.

The 3 Golden Rules of Playing Hard To Get

When playing hard to get most women have a target male that they are trying to lure in their direction. Here are the 3 Golden Rules of Playing hard to Get that will compel that man to pursue you romantically

  1. 1
    Men want what they can't have
    Do not be afraid to use an aloof attitude to express your independence and high self-esteem. The message that you want to send is that your attention is currency and that you don't spend time with anyone who is not worth it.
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  • 2
    Men love the thrill of the chase
    Don't give him your phone number right away. Make him give him yours and then don't call ever. If he calls you to ask you out, tell him that you need to "check your schedule" rather than agree to meet immediately. If your date does lead to romance, do not sleep with him right away. Make him work to receive your attentions.
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  • 3
    Men want what other men want
    Make sure he sees you flirting with other men as that will up your value as a potential mate in your eyes. As old-fashioned as it sounds, men still want their mate to be some kind of trophy that they can show off to other men. Let him know, with your behaviors that you are the prize!
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  • Tips And Tricks

    • Stay busy ! Being preoccupied with your own life instead of his will make him strive to be part of it.
    • Practice "one strike and you are out", meaning that any male who criticizes you or shows you lack of respect is cut off from being a romantic possibility immediately; this will teach other males watching that you are value yourself.
    • Never tell a man that you are willing to do anything to be with him or you will earn his disrespect - it is one of the most disempowering messages about yourself that you can say to a man.
    • Be indifferent to men who try to shake your self-esteem or confidence in any way
    • Make it clear to men that to you lie itself is it's own reward regardless of emotional attachments and relationships and you will be the most competed for women in the room
    • Treat yourself as you are #1 in your own life and he will treat you like you are #1 in his because women that put themselves first are considered prizes by men.

    If you have problems with any of the steps in this article, please ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.


    Article Info

    Categories : Relationships

    Recent edits by: Donna

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