Move On From a Broken Relationship
Edited by Rose B, Charmed, Ephraim, Alma and 3 others
Moving on isn't easy, but I know you could if you have the strength and courage to do so.
Make Yourself a priority
After your break up it is important that you take time out to focus on yourself rather than focusing on the other person or the break up in general. The first step to moving on is making yourself the most important person at the time in order to help the process of moving forward. There is no way that you can move on without focusing on yourself and what makes you happy in your current situation. Below are a number of ways to put yourself first in this situation to help you better along in the moving on and repairing phase.
- 1If you do not grieve you will in face hold in all of those emotions inside yourself which in turn will not help to aid you in getting out the feelings of the break up.Grieve about the situation regardless of how you think that the other person is taking the break up for the grieving stage is for you and not for them during this situation.
- 2By not accepting that you two are finished you will tend to hold on to the relationship and stopping your progress from moving on in the process. A lot of people hold on to the relationship which in turn will affect the processing of doing new things or moving forward in life because they are holding on the told habits in their life of being together with that person.Accept that the two of you are broken up so that you will be able to focus on yourself and what to do next.
- 3While in a relationship you will change from the person that you were before so understand that you are not the same person you were before in at least some aspect of your life. Take the good things that you have changed into and also remove the things you don't like about yourself after your break up.Assess yourself and the person that you are now that you are out of the relationship in order to pin point the things you would like to change or keep about yourself at this time.
- 4Things that you carry from one relationship to another will show but if you focus on what you want to be shown you will impress or attract the attention of other males with no problem if that is what you are going for at the time.Allow the good things about you that you want to keep to illuminate from yourself in order to make yourself feel better as well as find another person.
- 5This is an issue that a lot of people face after a break up because they are depressed and are not interested in doing anything such as exercising, eating healthy or generally being happy. By not taking care of yourself understand that it will not get you your old partner back but in fact damage your health and well-being.Keep yourself healthy after the break up rather than "letting yourself go" after you have broken up with your partner.
- 6If you were a drinker previously, then just do not over drink to ease the pain, but at least keep the same habit to a point it was at before the break up. When drinking know that it will not get your old partner back or help to eliminate the sadness you may be facing after a break up, after you sober up the problems will come back so try something new in order to relieve yourself from the pain.Do not conform to drinking alcohol in order to suppress the pain from the break up by any means.
- 7Mutual friends will tend to be biased or play the middle role reminding you of your old partner as well as possibly hurting your feelings in the process by trying to play the situation down the middle. In some cases know that the "neutral person" is often the most dangerous person being that they do not have a specific side that they are wishing to pull for in the situation causing hurt or damage on both sides trying to remain true to both people.Get in touch with your friends and try to stay away from mutual friends that you have developed in the relationship.
- 8Rely on family as well in your situation but stay away from a family who did not like the relationship from the start because they will more than likely play the "I told you so" role thus hurting your feelings more and not helping the process.
- 9Pick up a hobby or jump into something that you love to do in order to help make time go by faster and also to meet new people in the process.Keep yourself busy regardless of what it is in order to help you to keep your mind off of the current situation at that time.
- 10Only do this if you are certain that you are ready to commit yourself again after the break up but this should be done when you feel that you are no longer tied into your old partner.Go and meet up with a potential mate or friend who may be considered as being another boyfriend/girlfriend.
- 11Take all the advice that is given by the therapist and do your best not to challenge them on things that they are talking to you about in regards to your current situation. The therapist is someone who is not on any sides and are completely looking out for your well-being according to your side of the situation so be honest to get the best solutions to your situation.Consult a therapist or counselor if you are having problems tackling the situation alone for they will help to guide you into the right direction to help you to feel better in the end.
- 12By withholding information from the therapist it will affect the outcome so remember that you are doing this for you so be honest to help yourself out best in the end.Speak to the therapist in full honesty and letting them know of the things that you are have done wrong in its entirety.
The ex person is exactly what it says they are an ex so treat them like one after the break up in order to help the process in the situation. When it comes to the ex person then understand that it will be a big and important part to your recovery for if you do not take the right steps then you can find yourself in a bad situation in regards to your progress. Below are steps on how to act towards your ex after the breakup to help you to progress away from then after the break up.
- 1By contact it means no calling, textin, posting on social networks or even meeting up with them in person or talking to them in public. The goal is to create as much space as possible between you and your ex boyfriend/girlfriend.Do your best to not contact them at all after the break up in order to see how they are doing or what they are doing at the time.
- 2This may anger them but understand that you are doing this for you at the current time and not for their well-being. It may be hurtful to them but understand that it is about you and not your ex partner.If they try to contact you it is not a problem to answer but also letting them know that you are wishing to put distance between the two of you because of the break up.
- 3If you have any doubt in your mind that the relationship will in fact get better then do not rekindle the relationship but instead keep the distance.Be open about whether or not you will like to rekindle but also be sure that it is the right time or that things will be different.
- 4Change your number or any other form of contact if you are not able to keep the no contact between you and the ex partner.
- 5By staying in contact with the ex partners family you will still be holding on to some part of them and also allow the talk about the partner to come into contact with during the process of trying to get away from them fully.Cut ties with the ex partners family in order to fully get away from your ex partner.
- 6Things were not all good during the relationship which is the reason why it is not continuing now so do not beat yourself up on all the good and what you miss about the relationship.Do not think about solely the good times in the relationship between you and your partner because it was not all "sunshine and rainbows".
- 7If they are still a friend or followers delete them so that you will not find yourself looking into their accounts in order to see what they are doing which in turn can prove to hurt you if they are doing certain things after the break up.Check all of your social networks, blogs or anything else that you and the person share online.
- 8Sometimes it is all in the mind. You cannot move on because you still cling to your feeling which isn't right even from the very start. If you have the will to move on, you can actually do it, unless you are really stubborn.Tell yourself that you want to move on.
- 9Doing nothing will just make you think about him. When you lock yourself in a room, you will have time to reminisce all the moments you were together. Thinking about all these things will not help you move on.Keep yourself busy.
- 10When you were in that relationship, you tried to ignore everybody and just focused on your boy/girl. After the breakup, try to meet other people. This doesn't mean that you have to find a new love after the break up. I know this is not the right thing to do. Just try to have new friends, or try to keep in touch with your old friends. They could help you forget.Meet other people.
- 11Don't go to places you usually visited with him. Don't play the music you used to play together. Going back to what you both enjoyed doing will just make you think about him, and won't be helpful if you want to move on. Try to learn new things. Try to go to discover new places.Don't do the things you usually did with him.
- 12Try to think about the not-so-likable about the person and you will be turned off. Try to think about this everyday instead of the good traits of the person and somehow, you will start to move on.I know it is wrong to look at the bad traits or unpleasant habits of a person but it could somehow help you.
- 13Do nothing. Just let the feeling die a natural death. And one day you will wake up, you can say to yourself that finally, you have moved on.And sometimes, if you push yourself to forget him or to move on, the more that your heart will refuse, so, sometimes, it is better if you just let it pass by.
Tips Tricks & Warnings
- If he is your Facebook friend, try to unfriend him, this may help.
- Talk to your friends.
- Go out with friends.
- Keep yourself busy with new things like reading, writing, or working.
- Erase his number from your contacts, even if you can memorize his number.
- Keep away all your pictures, and his letters.
Questions and Answers
My ex recently got married..Whenever he calls me...he sounds angry @ me...I know he got married to be with his son ( hes 7)..so why is he angry with me?
Why is he so angry with me??. He just got married to his sons mother to give him a 2 parent household (he didn't get to do that with his older children)..he still texts me everyday and gets mad @ me when I say nice things to him...when he calls..his tone is full of anger..when I ask why..he doesn't answer..he knows I love him and want him to be happy...why is he still holding on to me??
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