Make Your Parents Say Yes To Letting You Date vs Getting a Pet vs Letting You Stay Up Late ... and 3 more
Edited by Kathy McGraw, Maria Quinney
Sometimes it sucks being a kid. You always have to do what the adults in your life want you to do, from your teachers to your parents. Your life is not under your control and, the older you get, the more stifled you start to feel. Yep, it's a pain all right, but trust me, we've all been there, and you will get through it. By applying the art of negotiation and remaining reasonable, you can convince your folks to let you do stuff, and here's how:
Method 1: To Letting You Date
You've met a special guy or girl at school, band practice, or work that you really like. They like you, too, and they're asking you to hang out with them. You want to say yes, but you can't right now because you don't have your parents' permission. Maybe they've made it clear that they would prefer you not date right now, or perhaps the subject has never come up, but whatever the case, you know you can't date until your parents agree to let you.
- 1Make sure you are old enough. This goes beyond just your numerical age: you have to be psychologically ready to have a relationship, and strong enough in your sense of self to be able to stand up to the pressures you will face. For example, you need to be ready to say no to physical intimacy beyond what you are comfortable with, and what you know your parents would be comfortable with.Advertisement
- 2Wait until you've met someone you want to date. If you have someone you want to date already in mind, then the idea of you dating is not some amorphous thing that your parents can agree to put off into the future. Additionally, they could really like your prospective date, which may help them feel better about allowing you to see them.Advertisement
- 3Find out what your parents' feelings are about teens dating. Broach the subject with your parents and get a sense of the "lay of the land." This will help you identify any reservations and give you a chance to formulate ways to counter them.
- 4Show them that you are mature enough. Your parents are going to want to know that you are mature enough to handle the responsibilities of dating. Part of being mature is meeting your responsibilities without complaint and getting the things done that you need to do. So, how do you show your maturity? You do it by studying, doing your homework, and doing your chores. Do all of these things consistently and without complaint and your parents will have a harder time saying no.
- 5Introduce them to your prospective date. Your parents aren't going to be comfortable letting you go out with someone sight unseen. Therefore, you should bring your prospective date over to meet your parents. You might also have them talk to your prospective date's parents. The more your parents are satisfied that your date is a good person from a good family, the more likely they are to say yes.
- 6Make a compromise. If your parents are hesitant to allow you to go on a solo date, propose a group date. Another idea could be you and your date hanging out at your house.
- 7Accept their decision. If your parents say no, you have to accept and live by their decision. If they are 100 percent against you dating because of religious or cultural reasons, you might have to wait until you are out of the house before you can date. If this is the case, you will need to accept it, as crappy as it may seem to you right now; they are your parents, and you have to accept their decisions and live by their rules.
Method 2: To Getting a Pet
Having a pet is a popular desire for many children, and there are many benefits to pet ownership. However, some parents may be reluctant to get a pet because of the expenses and additional responsibilities involved. If you want to get a pet, you need to show your parents that you are ready, willing, and capable of meeting the requirements.
- 1Show that you can be reliable. Keep your room clean and do your chores without your parents having to remind you. This will show them that you can be relied upon to do your part in taking care of your pet.Advertisement
- 2Do your research on your desired pet. Compile a folder of information about the pet you want, including its positives and negatives. For instance, dogs are long-lived, house-trainable, and loving animals, but they require daily exercise and other upkeep. Be thorough; your parents will have questions or may bring up the negatives to your desired pet, so be prepared to counter them! Be sure also to research the local laws regarding the kind of pet you want; some cities don't allow the ownership of pit bulls within the city limits, for example.
- 3Prepare a fact sheet on your desired pet. The fact sheet should include facts about your pet, for instance, how big it can get, how much space it needs, and details on its care. List the benefits of pet ownership to you and your family, such as spending time together caring for it as well as teaching you responsibility and empathy.
- 4Create a pet fund. If you get an allowance, set aside funds to go toward your pet. This will show your parents that you are thinking ahead and that you are prepared to accept the additional responsibilities of caring for your new family member.
- 5Bring up the subject with your parents. Wait until both of your parents are available and in the same room. Come armed with your research and tell your parents that you have been thinking about getting a pet and that you wondered if it would be all right with them. Give each of your parents the fact sheet you have prepared. They will very likely have questions and may raise objections to the idea. Use your research to answer them and counter their objections. Tell them that they don't need to give you an answer right now. Ask them to think about it.
- Give them time. During this period, don't bring the subject up. Let them think about it.
- After about a week, if they haven't given you an answer, you can broach the subject again.
- If they say no, ask them why. Try to counter their objections. If the answer is still no, let the subject rest of the time being and bring it up again in a month or two. This will let them know that you are serious about having a pet and won't let the subject drop.
Method 3: To Letting You Stay Up Late
Whether you want to stay up later so that you can watch your favorite movie or you want to have more video gaming time, it can be frustrating when your parents don't let you do it. You have a better chance of them agreeing to you staying up later if you know when to ask and you are prepared to compromise a bit.
- 1Only ask to stay up later on the weekends. Your parents want to make sure that you get enough sleep so that you are prepared for school the next day, and they're right to be concerned because science tells us that a well-rested mind learns better than a tired one. So, the first rule in getting your parents to accept a later bedtime for you is to restrict it to just Fridays and Saturdays.
Method 4: To Increasing Your Allowance
Expenses add up fast, even for kids. Perhaps your monthly or weekly allowance is no longer enough for you to do the things you normally do. If that's the case, then it's time to hit up Mom and Pop for a raise.
- 1Add up your expenses. Before you can ask for a raise from your parents, you need to analyze how you are spending your money. Your parents aren't going to give you more money if they think that you are spending what they already give you too frivolously. So sit down with a sheet of paper, pencil, and a calculator and itemize each of your expenditures. Don't forget to include things like lunch at school, bus fare, or gas money.
- 2Do some research. Try to find out what a realistic allowance is for someone your age. Go online and research data about what the average allowance is in your region of the world. If your allowance is in the ballpark for the average allowance for other kids your age, then you may have to rethink your request.
- 3Make a chart of your expenses. You need to show that your current allowance is not adequate for your expenses and doesn't allow you to experience the enjoyment other kids your age experience, within reason. Keep in mind that the purpose of an allowance is not so that you can buy everything you want; it's to give you enough money to meet your expenses and teach you how to manage your money.
- 4Keep the financial status of your family in mind. If one or both of your parents is out of work right now, it may not be a good time to ask for an increase. Likewise, if you know that your family is struggling with money at the moment, it's not realistic to think that your family's finances can sustain a larger allowance for you.
- 5Be flexible. Offer to do additional chores for extra money, or consider getting a part-time job for extra spending money.
Method 5: To Letting You Dye Your Hair
If you want to change your hair color, whether you want to try something wild, like a funky blue color, or you want to try being a blonde, your parents may not be so keen on letting you do it. They love your hair the way it is, but maybe you're not thrilled with it. Here are some tips for getting them to agree:
- 1Research hair dyes. Look for the dyes and the methods for applying them to your hair. Find out if there are any risks to dying your hair.Most hair dyes are safe, but if you are going from very dark hair to very light hair, you will need to bleach your hair first, and this can damage it if you aren't careful. Even when you're careful, bleached hair requires more care than hair that has not been bleached. For instance, it will need to be trimmed more often and moisturized regularly.
- 2Be willing to compromise. If your parents aren't comfortable with you using permanent or demi-permanent hair dyes, ask them if you can use single-use hair dyes that last only until your next shampoo. Additionally, there are recipes where you can use Kool-Aid to dye your hair, which will also wash out with your next shampoo.
- 3Offer to pay for the hair dye or salon visit out of your allowance or wages from your job. If cost is an issue, tell your parents that you will pay for it. This lets them know that you are mature and taking responsibility for yourself.
Method 6: To Getting You a Smartphone
Your friends all have their own iPhones, and when they're busy texting each other, going on Instagram, and snapping selfies, you feel left out. It's natural that you want a smartphone of your own so that you can join in the fun. Here's how to convince your parents to buy you one.
- 1Demonstrate that you are ready for a smartphone. Smartphones are more than just phones: they're actually tiny computers that you can make calls or text with. And they are expensive: the latest iPhone costs somewhere around $700, and maybe even more!
- Take care of your things. Make sure that you don't lose or break any other expensive items that they have bought for you. The same is true with any household items, such as the family computer or kitchen appliances.
- Keep your room clean and organized. Part of taking care of your things means not letting your room get too messy. The more organized you are, the more it will appear to your parents that you are ready for the responsibility to owning that tiny computer.
- 2Research the kind of smartphone you want. Look into how much the latest models cost new and whether there is the possibility of buying a slightly older model or a used one to save money. Note down this information and keep it in a file for future reference.
- 3Create a Smartphone Fund. Get a piggy bank or a jar and set aside money from your allowance or wages from work to go toward the purchase of a smartphone. Wait until you have at least $100 saved before you approach your parents.
- 4Sit your parents down and ask them for their help in buying a smartphone. Right away, you will be putting your parents at ease because you aren't starting the conversation with "Can I have.." or 'I want.." or "Can you buy..." You are asking for their help, not demanding that they buy you one. Bring out your research and your Smartphone Fund. Let them know you've looked into alternatives and show them the phone you want. If your parents are still hesitant, offer to save more money toward the purchase. Settle on a dollar figure that you need to come up with before they provide the remainder of the purchase price. If they still say no, then continue saving your money, and revisit the subject once you have more saved up.
- Avoid whining
- Be flexible
- Stay honest
- Understand that your parents want what's best for you, even if you can't see how that's true right now
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