Make Your Love Last Forever by Taking Action Daily
Edited by Donna, Eng
Things to Do Daily to Make Your Relationship Last Forever
Like many things in life, a relationship needs daily up keep, attention and lots of work or else it will not stand the test of time. The problem is that many partners, after a few years into the union, begin to take their partner for granted. They become lazy with each other, stop dating and seducing each other and become less supportive in general. Soon, the two of you find yourself in a daily routine where you become distant and nonchalant. There is less passion, less sharing of feelings and eventually less trust between you. This is a recipe for disaster that is brewing an eventual breakup or divorce.
Here are some proactive things that you can do daily to improve your relationship so that it endures for the rest of your lives.
- 1Make doing something with your partner every day a priority that is as important as any other commitment in your life such as your job or time with your family or friends. The only thing that might knock your partner as a priority lower than number one or two on your list is an issue with a child or with your health. Keep your dates with your partner and do your best not to break any promises with him or her. This builds a trust and confidence that will help your relationship thrive for years.Advertisement
- 2Be considerate of your partner every single minute of the day. Many relationships begin to degenerate because one or both parties simply stop considering the impact of their actions on the other person. This can be a small action, such as always leaving your dishes for the other person to do or always leaving the toilet seat up. Constantly annoying your partner by showing a lack of personal consideration for causes resentment to build up. Resentment is particularly lethal when it is not spoken because it can lead to an explosive argument that you are both sorry about later.Advertisement
- 3Choose to be kind whenever you have the choice to let something go. Sometimes when a person is irritated with his or her partner they feel tempted to say or do something unkind, such as remind them of an unfortunate incident from the past or be critical of an aspect of their character. On a daily basis, try to practice that old cliché, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." You can also step this up by reacting to unkind words or an affront by saying something kind to your partner. For instance, if you are snapped at for forgetting to pick up eggs at the grocery store, don't be tempted to say something like "Well you are forgetful too! Remember the time I had a headache and you forgot to pick up the aspirin?" Instead, you can respond with an apology and a kind compliment. Try saying something like, "I am really sorry I forgot to pick up those eggs because nobody makes a better omelets than you and I was really looking forward to that. Please forgive me. I have been under a lot of stress." Making the choice to be kind rather than escalate an argument can help a relationship endure for years.
- 4Learn how to really listen to your partner when he or she is talking and respond with an appropriate reaction People don't necessarily say what they mean. Usually they talk in code. For instance, a woman who says that she is mad at all sexist pigs, might actually have a problem with you, not all men. It is also important to listen to your partner, even if what he or she is saying is unpleasant to you. For instance, if you are being criticized or asked not to do something anymore, it is important to repeat back what was said to you to show that you have heard the person and understand the request. When you don't do this, resentments build, because your partner thinks you are ignoring him or her or being too arrogant to listen.
- 5Leave your work stress at the office. Let go everything negative that happened to you during the day so that you do not transfer any anger or frustrations to your partner. There is a tendency in modern relationships for people to take out their frustrations on their partner when they come home, and if you do this daily, the partner soon wearies of being treated like a therapist, a shoulder to cry on or an emotional punching bag. Instead, get yourself into a serene head space before you come home every day and be prepared to participate in a loving way emotionally with your partner. Know that the minute you walk through that door that you are choosing self-control over the urge to take things out on him or her. You should do this even though he or she takes out her work stress on you, as usually couples that love each other mirror each other's behavior.
- 6Be sensitive to your partner's moods and give them space when they need it. Everybody has good and bad days and your partner is no exception. If he or she is in a bad mood, do not try to force a conversation about what happened. Busy yourself with your own life, rather than take anything personally. If they emerge from their withdrawn state and want to talk about their bad day, then encourage them to open open up. Listen with the patience of a professional psychotherapist and if try to cheer him or her up if you can. You should do this even if you feel that your partner does not do the same for you, as you are trying to forgive, forget and create a relationship that lasts a long time.
- 7Make it a daily practice to encourage your partner to pursue their hopes and dreams. If your relationship is healthy, your partner will share their wildest aspirations with you. To show your partner you really love him or her, ask him or her what proactive step they have taken today to pursue their dreams. Never shoot down and idea or explain to your partner why he or she may or may not meet their goal as that can cause resentment to breed further own the line. Instead, behave like a cheerleader and surprise him or her by buying courses or supplying him or her tools. For instance, if he or she wants to be an artist, present him or her with a notebook and drawing pencils and state that you want to see one drawing a day completed every day before you come home. Gently challenging your partner to be an achiever often helps them reach their goals.
- 8Cook a nice meal, make his or her lunch or pick up a special snack or dessert for your love. Do this every single day and watch your relationship thrive. This is because food means love for many people because they associate it with the nurturing they received from their family at mealtimes. This is a good practice whether you are male or female, because it makes your partner feel loved.
- 9Try to look as good every day as you did on the day he or she fell in love with you. One big mistake that people make in their relationships is to let their appearance go. Becoming lax about your grooming is one way of taking your partner for granted because the message you are sending by having a grotty appearance is that you don't care enough to seduce them or please him or her any more. Put a daily effort into your appearance by shaving, plucking, curling, going to the gym, doing the laundry and getting a pedicure. Do everything that you think you need to do keep your lover attracted to you and in love with you.
- 10Try to break the daily monotony of making a living or doing chores, by coming up with some kind of surprise for him or her. Spontaneity of any kind can help your relationship thrive. This surprise does not have to be expensive; it only has to make the day a little more personal and unique for both of you. Suggest leaving the dishes and walking to the park to watch the sunset instead, bring home a game, or puzzle that the two of you can play together.
- 11Always pitch in with housework, chores and errands and do these simple things together whenever possible. It is very bonding for a couple to go grocery shopping together, clean out a basement or build furniture from IKEA together. These activities are significant because even though they are not that romantic, they reinforce your status together as a loving, supportive team.
- 12Have a sense of humor about your life together and about life in general. Humor dissolves all resentment, as long as it is kind and not really sarcastic. When you make light of a mistake or a quarrel between you, you are sending your partner the message that you do not want to sabotage the relationship with any type of resentment. Laughter can also get you through other tough times such as the loss of a job or watching bad news on the television every day.
- 13Share at least one meal a day, every ay with each other. Eating together is very bonding and helps define you as a family unit, even if you do not have children. Couples that share breakfast and dinner tend to last longer. Establishing a routine where one of you makes breakfast for the other and the other makes dinner is also very bonding because it is emotionally reciprocal.
- 14Make mutual goals and then affirm to each other that you are going to meet these goals every day. Having a plan together is an assurance that you will be building a future together, which adds value and inspiration to any relationship.
- 15Use the word "we" always when talking to your partner and especially when talking to others. This consistently reinforces to your partner that the two of you are part of a team and that you are proud to be committed to each other.
- 16Post a picture a day or a post a day of your happy relationship on social media. Facebook, Twitter and Instagram are the best places to post pictures of your happy life today. This makes your partner feel emotionally secure, committed and like you are proud to brag about your time together.
Tips and Tricks
- If you are a man, bring home flowers to her at once a week, or whenever you can afford to, as this is a real sign of enduring love to a woman
- Plan a spontaneous date, drive or jaunt of some kind with your partner so that your life does not settle into a dull routine as nothing kills romance more
- To be extra thoughtful and considerate, make a note of the birthdays of his nearest and dearest, such as his mom and day and any siblings and best friends, and be part of those celebrations whenever you can
- Avoid using sarcasm when talking to your partner, as that is a way of communicating that kills relationship
- If you do have a fight, resolve to never go to bed angry at each other, as that can lea to a breakdown in communication and the kind of escalating misunderstandings that can lea to an eventual breakup or a split
- When given the choice of spending time with friends or with your partner, always make him or her the priority unless it is crucial
- Always be open to a discussion with your partner and never belittle, make fun of or deny him or her an opportunity to discuss your relationship with you
- If your partner has a crisis or an issue, and wants to talk, but you don't want to talk to him or her just at that minute, then make sure you make a date with him or her to be heard so that they are assured of your participation in your life together
Categories : Relationships
Recent edits by: Donna