Make Friends with Your Girlfriends Male Friends
Edited by Ian Gabriel T. Tolledo, Eng, Maria Quinney, Lynn
Moving from acquaintance to friends and finally to lovers can be a long, perilous journey. Getting into a relationship with the girl of your dreams doesn't necessarily end there. You'll be moving on to a different territory - hers - and along with it, you have to make yourself known among the people in her life. Yes, even her male friends.
Making friends with your girlfriend's male friends might not seem to be a thing to look forward to, but it can be pleasant to meet a new set of people you can call friends as well. If you're wondering how you can make friends with the "other boys in the yard", then you have come to the right place. Read on.
Things to Remember
- 1More often than not, these male friends have seen the worst and best of your girlfriend; in fact you can probably assume that they have been closer than her than you currently are. As her boyfriend, you have to make an effort to at least get to know them and give them a chance to know about you as well. The thing is, at least try it. You don't want her male friends convincing her that you have a bad attitude, right?Renew your perception.
- 2Let's assume that you're starting off with a clean slate. You have to make an effort to keep that record free of negative notes as it can turn ugly in the long run, especially if you started it off bad with her male friends. Remember that loyalty between friends run deep and more often than not, her male friends will be on her side, much like your friends are with you. So start developing that relationship with her friends and get them on your good side.Vying for Approval.
Making Friends with her Male Friends
- 1Ask them questions.Show a sincere interest in your girlfriend's male friends when you finally do meet them. Ask questions where they are or what they're up to. When you're on an outing together, make an effort to converse with them and ask them about their interests. The next time you stumble upon each other, why not try asking them for an update of whatever they were talking about the last time you saw them. A simple, "Tell Steve I say hello," to your girlfriend can get you on their good side.
- 2Plan an outing with them.Tell your girlfriend that you would like to have an outing or a meet-up with her friends since they're so important to her. A simple get-together where you either chug beers, play pool or go to the beach will make her male friends get to know and like you more. Also note that everyone needs their personal space, yet it's usually a good idea to join each other group of your friends occasionally.
This technique also allows your girlfriend's male friends to see that you're a worthy guy and are not a threat to them, and that you're making an effort to be part of her life truthfully. Anything, like a simple dinner with her friends and their perspective dates for a meet-up at a certain place with your lady and her male friends can work to your advantage, and will score you the much-deserved extra brownie points in the process. - 3Be Extra Nice.Little gestures will prove to your girlfriend's male friends that you are considerate will serve to put you in their good graces. You got an extra ticket for a movie pass from a friend? Why not give it to her male friends? One of her guy friends is looking for a job? Try hooking him up with the best firm in town or a friend of yours who works in a descent company. These favors, although small, will make you a cool person in her friends' eyes.
- 4Be nice to her.This may hit you as obvious, but this can oftentimes be ignored. If you are out with your girlfriend and her friends, try not to be shy or act macho, and be extra nice to her. By showing her guy friends that she's in good hands when she's with you, they'll welcome you to their circle even just for that. So remember to open doors for her, hold her hand every now and then, help her with her coat, and treat her with utmost care and respect.
Possible Conflicts
Her guy friends branded you as loser
Bummer. It is understandable that things will not always work out as you planned it and your girlfriend's guy friends will hate you. You may have snubbed them or scorned them once when you were out somewhere and didn't notice them, or you may have simply rubbed them the wrong way. Whatever it is you did or did not do, this is a situation you don't want to get into, although you can still try to fix it with them:
- 1You have to give them reasons to like you, or else you'll spend the rest of your time with your girlfriend in conflicting issues with her male friends. A contest of ego will get you nowhere. So the next time you run into one of her guy friends, try to be extra nice to them (try not to look like an overcompensating phony though). This method will serve to make the guy question why he hates you in the first place.Up your game.
You simply hate their guts
No matter what others say, this phenomenon happens to the best of us. It's possible that you just don't like your girlfriend's male friends, even though it's not an ideal situation. Take note that you're going out with your girlfriend and not her guy friends. Refrain from bad-mouthing them, never involve your girlfriend, and try not to be rude to them if you stumble upon each other when she's not around.
Just try to separate your relationship with her male friends, and ignore whatever dislike you may feel towards them, especially during important events for your girlfriend, like promotions, birthdays or your wedding.
The bottom line
Getting along with her male friends and their social circles is an added bonus. It will feel great to have her male friends like you, but if they don't, you still have her relatives and family. Her friends do not dictate your relationship with her. If you find yourself unable to mend or even start a relationship with her guy friends, simply explain it to your girlfriend.
If you have legitimate reasons not to like her male friends, or even worse, if they don't have good reasons for disliking you, just explain it to your girlfriend. Say you'll be civil when you're with them or when you see them, but you would rather spend time with her without them, but will gladly let her have the time to bond with her male friends on her own.
Why you should make her friends, your friends
In many ways, her male friends can help you better your relationship with her and also add zest to your personal life as well. Below are some practical reasons why you should make her male friends your friends as well.
- If you commit something wrong, her male friends can cover you and can probably regress it out of proportion and cover it up for you without you being the bad one.
- Her guy friends may know more about your girlfriend than you do, so it will do you good to make them your friends as well, and ask away whatever it is you need to improve your relationship with her.
- They will keep you in check, just think of it as an extra measure to help you stay in the relationship and make it a meaningful one. Remember that you will always have guys looking out for you.
Tips, Tricks and Warning
- Do not contest her other guy friends' egos.
- Listen to her friends actively.
If you have problems with any of the steps in this article, please ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.
