Love a Guarded Man
Edited by Donna, Maria Quinney
What is A Guarded Man and Who Is He?
The label Guarded Man refers to a man who is emotionally unavailable. They are called this because they are very hard to connect with emotionally, but many believe that this is not a reason to deny them unconditional love.
Are you going out with an emotionally unavailable man? Guarded males tend to share the following traits:
- It is very hard to tell what an emotionally unavailable person is thinking at any given time because he never shares his opinion or feeling
- He often answers questions with a neutral non-answer or not at all
- He does not like to make plans and finds any kind of pressure to make them oppressive or intrusive
- He gets defensive or leaves the room when you try to discuss your relationship with him
- He tends to shower you with gifts or do chores rather than tell you that he love you
- He may not want to see you as much as your boyfriends in the past have and may isolate away from you to work (mostly this is about sorting his feelings about you out.)
- He hates socializing and public displays of affections and seems like a very secretive person
- He puts you through painful personal trials tests, without you knowing, to see how far the depths of your unconditional love will go because he trusts no one
How to Capture the Heart of a Guarded Man
Guarded men do not like the feeling of being owned by another person and they find it hard to trust anyone. They also dislike displays of affection or emotion. This makes it doubly hard to compel one to fall in love with you. Some would even go so far to say that it is impossible to win the heart of an emotionally unavailable person and that they are emotionally immature, socially impaired and only capable of recognizing themselves.
However, you might be able to win the heart of an emotionally unavailable man by doing the following.
- 1If you say you are going to do something, you better do it. Emotionally unavailable men are very judgmental and are always watching you very closely to make sure you are not lying or letting him down in some way. This is how the guarded man protects himself from being hurt and also how he expresses his emotional insecurity. Guarded men who feel lied to may drop you with no notice.Advertisement
- 2Guarded men tend to open up to women who seem sexy and dangerous. The less nurturing and maternal you seem, the more likely he is to pursue you. Guarded men are more turned on by a sexy woman who is a bit of challenge than they are by charm, loyalty or concern.Advertisement
- 3Never press him for any type of commitment. An emotionally unavailable man wants his freedom and he likes to be able to change his mind at any minute. Letting him know that you are fine with him making all of the decisions with no argument from you will make him think more kindly than you. This is not so much because he is intending to cheat on you, it is because he finds emotional relationships invasive and smothering.
- 4Forgive him immediately for any sudden emotional outbursts or bad behavior and never nag him. The emotionally unavailable man is eternally grateful for a woman that lets him be and never tortures him with demands or accusations. Even though your requests may be simple and obvious obligations, you need to keep in mind that this relationship is not a normal one.
Ways to Cope With an Emotionally Unavailable Guarded Man
Coping with a man who has a guarded heart can be very difficult because you are always going to be second to whatever issue is preventing him from connecting with you in a normal way in the first place. Still, many women cannot help but love who they do and will promise to be devoted to someone who has very little to offer in return. If this is the case, here are some ways to cope with the lack of attention, affection and other issues that often come with love for a guarded individual.
- 1Know immediately that this type of personality is never going to change. You will be the happiest if you decide that you are not trying to heal him or draw him out of his shell. Accepting for who he is and loving him unconditionally is your best approach to trying to make the relationship succeed.
Tips and Tricks
- There is a fine line between loving an emotionally unavailable man and one who is abusive, so be sure to check in with yourself during the course of this relationship to make sure that his lack of reaction to you is not hurting you in some way
- Be aware that emotionally unavailable men turn on people suddenly, without any reason and often it is not your fault and also realize, that there is nothing you can do about it.