Know if Your Friends Are Ruining Your Relationship
Edited by Donna, Eng, Maria Quinney, VC
The Reasons That Your Friends Try to Ruin Your Relationship
Friends can have some very strange reasons for wanting to ruin your relationship. Among them are:
- Your friend is in love with you, has never told you and is jealous of the new person and wants him or her to go away
- Your friend likes the person you are seeing romantically and is trying to drive a wedge between the two of you so that he or she can date that person instead
- Your friend is just your friend but is very territorial in nature and does not like the way the new person is stealing time away from your friendship
- The friend trying to break you up is also the friend of the other person, and even though there are no romantic feelings, he or she feels like the third person in a love triangle all alone and left out
- He or she has just broken up with someone and does not want anyone else to be happy, and is taking it out on you by having you split up
- He or she has decided that your new relationship is bad for you and has decided to take matters into his or her hands
- He or she knows that the person you are seeing is unfaithful to you but does not want to hurt you by telling you the truth, so they attempt to break you up instead
- He or she depends on you in a financial way as a roommate or a coworker and wants to break you up so that you will not move forward and away from your influence
- The friend is very bonded to you emotionally and feels abandoned and also fears that he or she will be all alone and bitter while you move on to bigger and better things
Signs That Your Friends Are Trying To Ruin Your Relationship
Here are some indications that your friends are trying to ruin your relationship:
- 1There are things that you have not told your new girlfriend or boyfriend yet about your past or another personal matter and yet, they seem to mysteriously know all about it already. This usually means that he or she has been talking to a good friend of yours, in fact, someone close enough to know about your past. If you are wondering how this could happen, look no further than your social media account, which may allow your friends to text your new partner. It is also possible that your friend met with him or her socially, to give your new partner a bit of background about you, not all of it flattering.Your privacy is somehow compromised.
- 2Before you know it, you are being challenged about you said and the conversation is rapidly escalating towards a breakup. In this situation it will seem like your friend has been waiting for thisYou tell a friend or group of friends something in confidence, about him or her and it gets back to him or her.
- 3Social negation of this type is so unpleasant that your partner may not want to be involved with your friends again or be dismayed that you even know such rude people.When you are with a friend or friends, they completely ignore her and may even make fun of her.
- 4This is most likely a plot on the part of your friends to create friction in your relationship, so the two of you will break up. Sometimes it is because they want you to get back with the ex. Often your present partner will be told that it was you that said it was okay for your ex to show up at the same venue.You go to parties, or other events and your ex, who greatly upsets your present partner, is almost always there.
- 5You might be teased all the time, with them saying things like "So, when's the big day?" or "Have you decided on a honeymoon destination yet?" If one of you wants to move the relationship forward faster than the other, this can turn into a conflict between the two of you later.Your friends put a lot of pressure on the two of you to marry each other or live with each other, to the point where it is really embarrassing.
- 6This is a very overt, deliberate and often desperate attempt to break the two of you up. Sometimes the person flirting is a beard trying to lead your partner to yet another friend who is the person who really wants to steal your partner.You realize that a friend is taking your new partner physically away from you to chat or flirt, and you may even notice that your friend is standing too close or flirting with your partner right in front o you.
- 7This is also a bold attempt to steal him or her away from you by distracting her. Sometimes the motive is romance and sometimes the goal is to try and get him or her to meet someone else.Your friends or friend keep inviting her out for coffee or to parties and leaving you out of the equation.
- 8This is when a group of people tries to convince you to stop partaking in a behavior that they believe harms you, and in this case, they believe you are being harmed by your partner. If this happens, it is worth listening to what your friends have to say as interventions usually occur because there is abuse, violence or addiction in a relationship. This kind of candid confrontation of you could also occur because they know you are being cheated on or somehow stolen from and want to tell you the truth about the situation.Your friends have gotten together and are subjecting you to an intervention.
- 9Keep in mind this could also apply to men. Usually, this is a friend because they are the ones that would be in possession of the photos from your past in the first place.Your partner is being sent pictures of you with other women, maybe exes or even women you barely know and it is really upsetting him or her.
- 10For instance, you could have had a cigarette secretly, with a friend or two, but somehow she knows that is what you have been doing. This means that one of your friends is acting as an informant, with the intention of causing friction between you and your loved one.You do something that your partner does not like behind his or her back, but somehow you are being tattled on all the time.
- 11In this case, they are trying to line the person up with a replacement or interest him or her in someone else by not even acknowledging your relationship in public.Your friends keep introducing him or her to other people at parties and talk about him or her as if they are single.
- 12In this case, it is probably not a good idea to blindly believe everything that you hear. Before confronting your partner with the gossip, go to the trouble of investigating it a bit to see if it is true.A friend can come back to you with horrible gossip about him or her, usually of the sort that makes you want to split up immediately.
How Social Media Ruins Relationships
If you want to keep your relationship safe from prying eyes and meddling friends, then keep it off social media. Social media offers up too many opportunities for others to screw up your relationship because:
- Simply giving them the chance to come to the wrong conclusion about your relationship can complicate things because people just love to gossip
- They can spread the wrong kind of rumor about you because they are misunderstanding the context of something written in a thread
- They can give information about you as a couple to your ex, after seeing it on Facebook and cause unnecessary drama or confrontations
- The more that they see, the more that they might become jealous of the happy times that they see the two of you having together in photographs
- Friends may gossip about just any aspect of anything they see on Facebook, Twitter or anywhere else and just simply cause distress and confusion by distorting the information in any way the want
- Friends could tell a child or relative about the relationship before the two of you are ready and throw a wrench into things
- Friends can create dramas by contacting your boyfriend or girlfriend behind your back and messaging him or her by text, perhaps giving them advice under the pretense of being friends or some kind of warning about being with you
- Friends can post pictures of you as a couple and make announcements about a baby, wedding or engagement that was not even thought about to try and screw the two of you up
- Friends can post a picture of you and an ex on social media and pretend like it was just last night, and not two years ago, making it seem to your partner like you are cheating
Quotes About Someone Trying To Ruin Your Relationship
If somebody is trying to ruin your relationship on social media, it is sometimes therapeutic to post some quotes about the matter. However, for the most part, you can learn from reading these quotes and take them into consideration before you react to any situation. Sometimes too, it is a way of letting your friends or partner know what they are up to. They can also help you deal with the person that is the perpetrator of all of the negative drama.
Here are some quotes that can help you with the issue of someone trying to ruin your relationship.
- 1It also tells them that you do not play a game like this. As novelist William Burroughs once said, "There is nothing more provocative than minding your own business...""What you think of us, is none of our business." This is a great quote because it sets a boundary and tells your gossips and meddlers that you will not be letting their words have any effect on you.
- 2Instead, be kinder than ever to your partner and also the person who is being mean to you. Killing a person with kindness really confuses the and best of all, makes them question their motivations for screwing around with their life.If someone is trying to ruin your relationship, follow the old adage, "Kill them with kindness." People want you to react with rage, or indignation or withdraw from your partner.
- 3If friends are senselessly picking on you and your partner, as would be the case with an ex and her friends, you can try and blow it off with "Resentment is like drinking position and waiting for the other person to die." This Is a quote that is often attributed to humorist and actor Carrie Fisher but around the turn of the twentieth century, it was credited to Florence Scovell Shinn.
- 4If you want to post a gentle admonishment, try "While you are busy minding other people's business, who is busy minding yours?" This reminds your meddling friends, gently, to "Get a life!"
- 5You can also try to stop gossip with, "The best person to discuss me with, is me." This reminds those who might be slandering you be more honest with their dealings in life.
- 6You can also post something ironic, such as "The worst thing about finding love is trying to find someone who is happy for you." This is a twist on a quote by singer Bette Midler that goes, "The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy or you."
- 7If someone is trying to break the two of you up because of jealousy or because of disapproval, you can quote famed science fiction writer H.G Wells, who once said, "Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo." This reminds your critics that they are not any better than anyone else.
- 8If you and your partner are constantly being put down, you can try this quote, "You can only be jealous of someone who has something you think you have to have yourself." This quote by Margaret Atwood reminds your critics and accusers that their own lives are sadly lacking or alert them that you are on to their desire to break you up so your partner can be stolen away.
- 9A very classic quote about jealousy is, "A coward talks to everyone but you." This is an appeal to whoever is causing your partner so much trouble to come forward and be honest with themselves and you.
- 10"Most haters are stuck in a poisonous mental prison of jealousy and self-doubt that blinds them to their own potentiality." This quote by life-coach Steve Maraboli is a reminder of how jealousy of others can hold you back in life.
Tips and Tricks
- Watch out for friends who are numerologists or astrologers as they are the first to contact your new relationship and tell them why, according to the Zodiac or the Kabbalah, that your relationship is absolutely doomed to never work out
- If you know who has been smearing your reputation or trying to break the two of you up, tell your partner right away so that he or she is aware of it
- If your partner is really upset by something a friend has said or done, then you can demand that your friend fix the situation by having a talk with everyone in the room
- You can make it a rule of your relationship that the communication lines between the two of you are always open and that your love can transcend all outside interference
Categories : Relationships
Recent edits by: Maria Quinney, Eng, Donna