Know Your Boyfriend Is Not over His Ex Yet
Edited by Maria Sharon Ubando, Olivia, Rebecca M., Lynn and 27 others
You can't beat that green-eyed monster from showing up every time your boyfriend mentions his ex's name (intentionally or not). This can happen once, twice, or maybe, even more, times than you can remember; but, one thing is for sure, you can't allow this to go any further. Now, you're thinking, isn't he over her yet? Or is this just paranoia?
Being in a new relationship can be happy and scary all at the same time. You get to find that new guy in your life who can be your knight in shining armor, the dashing prince that sweeps you off your feet - all your hopeless romantic bliss coming to life. However, at a certain point, it can also be a challenge thinking this could leave you with yet another broken heart like the one you had before.
Stop asking yourself and not getting coherent answers. Enough drama. Decode his actions and see if your boyfriend has completely moved on - or not.
- 1 Know if Your Boyfriend is Not Over His Ex
2 Questions and Answers
- 2.1 Is it possible I have been the rebound girlfriend for the past 2 years without realizing it?
- 2.2 Is it normal to stay 2 to 3 days without getting any message on WhatsApp or phone call from your boyfriend but he always tells you that he loves you?
- 2.3 Is it a breakup or an explanation? Should I wait before making any conclusion?
- 2.4 My boyfriend is so wishy washy, I don't know how to fix it?
- 2.5 I been seeing a guy a 1 yr. now every time we get things going his ex shows up destroys our relationship?
- 2.6 Wow a person who I can talk to?
- 2.7 What should I do? Just continue or I have to quit?
- 2.8 After 4 years of steady relationship with my boyfriend, I feel he still needs to try and keep his ex wife together because of her mental stress and it affects their kids?
- 2.9 My ex-boyfriend is having a wife wanting to win back our communication. Why is that so?
- 2.10 Am I being unreasonable demanding that my partner gets a divorce?
- 2.11 My ex asked me if I still have feelings for him and he is married, and I said no and he said that him and his wife think I do, well I told him I don't, and he said you are hurting my feelings?
- 2.12 Does my husband still have feelings for his ex if he likes her Facebook photo?
- 2.13 My current boyfriend always want his EX's number when we had fights. I asked him several time 2 stay away from her, he just says he doesn't date her, I don't know what to do, when I talk to him about this he makes me feel like an immature or unsecured. What must I do?
- 2.14 Should I tell the guy I'm dating that I think his ex is playing games?
- 2.15 My boyfriend bumped into his ex and refused to go the direction she was going?
- 2.16 My boyfriend of 5 years has been divorced for ten years and has one daughter and three step daughters from this relationship. She is still part of his extended family?
- 2.17 Hello, there was a time I had some disagreements with my husband but the reply I got from him was that I'm paying for the mistakes done by his ex wife. What does that really mean? Does the man really love me?
- 2.18 Confused about my ex. attitude towards me?
- 2.19 How can I get him to stop worrying?
- 2.20 Why does he have more to say to his ex than me. Why does he try to make an impression on her?
- 2.21 My boyfriend doesn't say "I love you" to me. Only when I do, why is that?
- 3 Comments
Know if Your Boyfriend is Not Over His Ex
- 1Mentions the Ex's Name a Lot. When your guy talks a lot about his ex and tells stories about their past, he's definitely not over her yet. If the topic about his ex comes up like for instance when a common friend mentions her at some point in the conversation, you can tell that he is completely over his ex if he simply answers the question without lingering on the "ex" topic and moves on to other topics. This shows that he really values your feelings and would not want you to feel awkward or left out in the conversation but also respects the inquiry of another person. This shift in the line of conversation also signals other people that he is not interested in talking further about the past anymore and would want to focus more on you and the relationship that you have at present. However, if the opposite scenario comes into play and he somewhat enjoys reminiscing the past even when he is with you and around common friends then this could be a cause of concern. He could be painting pictures with his words and getting all comfortable with the trip to memory lane that he has completely forgotten that he is with his girlfriend. What can be even more alarming is when he unconsciously or accidentally calls you by her name. If this ever happens a lot (especially when you are kissing or doing the deed) then it could be high time to talk about it than to let it go on and be an emotional torture to you.Advertisement
- 2He Trash Talks. Trash talking is a sign that your boyfriend has not moved on yet. Being comfortable about the "ex" topic is a good sign that he has definitely moved on and has no ill feelings about the other person. This is quite different from being too comfortable or dwelling in the past too much that he forgets you are his current girlfriend and that woman is a thing of the past. If he still seems angry just at the thought of his ex or when you ask something about her then there is a high probability that they have not reached a point of closure in the relationship. They must have parted ways without even talking things through or they simply managed to ease away from the relationship in the effort to avoid any confrontation. This is essentially one of the mishaps of a seemingly bad breakup syndrome. Some people would advise you that what you do not know won't hurt you, so if you don't want to see your guy get disappointed, do not raise any topic about his most recent relationship. This will stop you from getting hurt by the discovery that he still is in love with his ex, and it will simply help you avoid fights. However, one of the main thrusts of any committed relationship is honesty and trust. How can you ever trust someone that you cannot even open up to. It is much better to be able to talk to your boyfriend about his ex or line of exes as these relationships have also relatively shaped him in some ways to be the man that he is at present. These past relationships are all part of his experiences and he could even be bringing the lessons he had with his past girlfriends in the effort to be a much better boyfriend now that you are in his life. Being open and receptive to his feelings about his ex also allows him to see you as a mature and trusting girlfriend. The ability to handle "ex" conversations with your boyfriend shows that you are a confident woman and you know your place in his life. If he keeps avoiding questions about his ex or seems too angry even at a mere mention of her name then there are unsettled issues from the past that you can have him deal with. Allow him some space to keep things private but let him know that he can always talk to you about it whenever he is ready.Advertisement
- 3She is His Best Friend. It can really hurt a woman when her boyfriend or partner considers an ex his best friend. How can any woman compete with that? It would be awkward and uncomfortable to be seeing him playing rough with his "best friend" who also happens to be his "ex". That would certainly take a lot of getting used to. He would certainly include her in all the events that you would be attending to as a couple. She would deliberately and predictably be present in every occasion in his family especially if they have grown to love her as their own daughter. His friends might even love her just as much as you (the new girlfriend on the block). He calls the ex about good things that come up, like a promotion or when he discovers a nice place to hang out. If this happens frequently, open up this topic to him. He cannot go on spending his time trying to be best pals with her when he should be building a good foundation for your relationship. If he clearly tells you though and you are convinced that she is a "best friend" and not some ex he can't get over with then you might have to discuss and work around on some adjustments to make the situation beneficial and healthy for your relationship without choking him or acting insecure in the process.
- 4He Still is in the Mourning Period. Breakups are sad and take some time for wounds to heal but if he goes on staying depressed even if he is already in a relationship with you then you may need to start thinking - do you want to be the rebound girlfriend? Another thing, is he really ready to be in another relationship when he is clearly not over his ex yet? Some people would say that the best remedy to get over an old flame is to find a new love but this does not always work out for the best. Entering a new relationship with unsettled issues is like bringing in piles of trash and unfinished businesses which may even complicate the situation. You could be ruining relationships over and over again if you try to avoid or mask wounds and never really deal with the pain of breakups straight in the face. You can never be ready to love again if you are unhappy or depressed. You end up using the person to fill an empty space that your ex has left behind. That is never an healthy option. While it may be true that a new love can help you forget and move on from a sour past relationship, it inevitably starts though with your willingness to let go and start anew. If you really want things to work out between the two of you, then talk this out with him or exit gracefully.
- 5He Keeps Comparing. Of course it sounds nice for women hearing praises from their boyfriend, but it could be a red flag if he compares you with his ex. He may have slipped once, but if it happens more frequently, consider telling him how you feel about it. It is said that there is a pattern in everything that we do - even in how we become attracted to other people. You could be somewhat similar to his ex in the way you look or behave. You and her ex could be sporting the same hairdo or even have the same knack for coffee. It could be pure coincidence or basically that is how relationships progresses from attraction. Be careful though if he seems to merely see her in you because he clearly just reminds you of her. If he seems to be comparing negatively like she cooks better meals than you or that she looks better in a bikini than you then it could be a sign that your relationship is bound to disaster. If it comes to a point that the comparison becomes too harsh or frequent then it's time to talk about things. Let him know that you are certainly and clearly not his ex and that you are deeply offended that he keeps comparing you with her. Tell him that it is very unhealthy to be living in the past especially because you are an entirely different person from his ex. Ask him if he wants to continue to work on making the relationship better or if he needs some time off to clear his mind and think. With the rate things are going, he seems to be on a rebound and is not ready to be in a new relationship yet. You can make him realize the real score about your relationship or continue dealing with the comparison game. It's hard to always be in a competition with the ex because you will always fall short of his expectations especially if he is obviously still in love with her. Besides, honesty is a strong foundation for any budding relationship. If he cannot deal with the skeletons in his closet then he has no business being with you.
- 6He Does Not Bring You Home to Meet His Parents. As cliche as it may sound, you can tell that a guy is seriously into you if he brings you home to meet his parents or his family. This is one of the most common and popular ways that shows a man genuinely wants you to be a part of his life. What better way to do this than to let you get to know his family and even relatives. If he tours you around his home, shows you his bedroom or favorite childhood nook, his secret hideout in the neighborhood, and shows you around the neighborhood then he is definitely proud of you and wants you to get to know him in a deeper sense. This ultimately shows that your relationship has definitely progressed and you have both established a much stronger bond. However, if he does the opposite and refuses to let you meet his parents then he could not be too sure or comfortable with the idea of letting you into his life. This also means that your relationship may still be in the "getting-to-know-you" stage and you both are just starting to get to know each other. If you are in a relationship and you haven't met his parents yet (or any member of his family) then he could be hiding some things from you or he might not be ready to do that just yet. Two things - there could be something wrong on his relationship with his family or there could be something wrong with you. Ask about his parents or family life, be interested in his childhood, or the kind of neighborhood he has grown up with. He could either take the cue and ask you to meet his family sometime soon or he could completely shrug the idea off. That will certainly give you a clear picture of where your relationship is heading at this point.
- 7He Does Not Introduce You to Mutual Friends. Any girlfriend will be happy if her boyfriend introduces her to his friends (yes, including his and the ex's mutual friends). That is one of the first tell-tale signs and confirmation that you are officially together and a couple. If he proclaims to the world (basically that means his family, friends, and colleagues) that you are together and introduces you as his girlfriend then he really is into you. But what if your boyfriend refuses to bring you along to gatherings with old friends? Then he could be avoiding some people or some past issues with an ex. He could also may not be entirely sure that your relationship is for keeps and would not want to bother introducing you to his circle of friends. Maybe he still has high hopes that he'll bump into his ex and would not want her to get hurt or disappointed. Whatever his reasons may be, if he does not let any of his friends meet you or if he does not want to be seen with you especially in parties with friends then it's time to head out the door.
- 8He Does Not Update His Relationship Status (No Trace of You) on Social Media. It's impossible to not get in the loop with what's happening in your social circle with the prevalence and influence of social media today. Most people spend most of their socialization skills nowadays via different social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Instagram; and the like. It is a common thing that people post varied updates on their day-to-day life; like their travel destinations, fashion picks, or even their relationship statuses. If he does not change his relationship status from "Single" to "In a Relationship" and does not include your name then the relationship could be a either imaginary or he may not really be that serious with you at all. Instinctively, a man in love (or even a woman) would always make proclamations online that he is in a relationship with you and that he loves you. But, if you check out his social media pages and see not a single trace or mention of you (not even a picture of you together) then you could very well be shortchanged in the relationship. If you have his face and name all over your social media pages and not a mere mention of yours in his pages then this so-called relationship could be heading nowhere. Much worse, if he has another woman's (or his ex) name and pictures, then he really has not moved on and certainly not with you.
With all these telltale signs, your intuition will still ultimately be your best guard. You'll know if he is completely yours or if you still have to compete with the shadow of the ex by keeping heed of the above warning signals. You'll know then if you should stay or go.
Questions and Answers
Is it possible I have been the rebound girlfriend for the past 2 years without realizing it?
I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and all but the meeting the parents one, and the Facebook status thing has been checked off. I looked at this because I recently found out that when I went out of town my boyfriend messaged his ex telling her he misses parts of her body and would like to get drunk with her on the beach and be intimate (with me he has a low drive for intimate relations and told me he doesn't drink, also he told me he hates going to the beach?) Is it possible that I have been his rebound girlfriend for two years and he still isn't over his ex after 3 years?! It's also messed up because I have been completely loyal to him, and she cheated on him with one of his best friends, (why would he want her back?) he also told me he likes dating women his age and him and I are 26 and she is 19.
It's very unlikely that you're been a rebound girlfriend for this long. A more likely scenario is that he's perhaps not the most energetic and active man (he doesn't like the beach, doesn't get that intimate, and his past girlfriend was more interested in his friends than him). That could indicate a number of things, one of which is that he's simply unsatisfied with something in his life, and looking for a change. Sending a message to his ex girlfriend is just another indication of laziness. Rather than go out and chase a new girl, he's just looking to see if being with someone easy to get with will make him feel better about himself.
From what you've written here, you want to keep your relationship with him, and he hasn't actually done anything unforgivable yet, so I'd suggest the following:
- 1Spice things up a bit, and don't take no for an answer. Men who don't like to be intimate are about as common as unicorns and fairies. If he doesn't want to be intimate, then there's a problem he isn't telling you about. The only way to find out for sure is to be intimate yourself. Sometimes the problem is that a man doesn't want to initiate intimacy. You just need to find out what it is he likes, and start doing that.
- 2Be a little mysterious. Go out with your friends, or try something new, like a new sport, or a new hobby, such as hiking, or a fitness and martial arts class. This will empower you, improve your fitness, and make you feel better - all at the same time. He will either start being more attracted to you, or someone else will, and you can move on.
- 3Don't forget that you're in control of the situation. You can always step away, and you're young enough that you don't need someone who isn't sure about what they want. Him not introducing you to his parents is a sign that he's not as serious about the relationship as you. If you push him, then he will push back and not introduce you. Instead, by being more independent, he'll find out that he wants to introduce you to show his commitment.
Finally, if he doesn't want to see things through with you, it could be that he's just not capable of being the man you thought he was. That happens to women every day, and there's nothing to be done about it. If he's not your husband, and he's not your son, you can be thankful, and start looking for a better man who's worth your time and your love.
Is it normal to stay 2 to 3 days without getting any message on WhatsApp or phone call from your boyfriend but he always tells you that he loves you?
Staying 2 to 3 days without receiving any message on WhatsApp or phone call
It's possible that your boyfriend is busy with work, school or other obligations. It also depends on your relationship. Are you two the type of couple that normally spends a lot of time together and communicate daily, or has it always been this way? It's hard to tell without more details, but if you're concerned, you should simply ask him what's going on in his life. If he's just spending more time with friends and other social circles but doesn't want to include you, it might be time to look for someone else.
Is it a breakup or an explanation? Should I wait before making any conclusion?
"I can not continue like this, I wanted to give myself the courage to do the best for YOU, but for me too. I have too much trouble in my life and I can not pull you down due to that I feel bad. It is unfair to you." He sent me this after he's been ignoring me for a while. I think he isn't over his ex yet. At the beginning I thought I'd be a rebound to him but he showed me in many ways he wanted me in his life, I met his parents, he talked about the future etc..but he goes on and off emotionally, he is super sweet this week next week he ignores me completely no matter what I text I won't get any replies, and when he does come back, he apologizes and the last time he told me " it is just the thought I have that makes me distant, I'm just scared of being hurt again" So now he is back on the ignoring thing since last week Wednesday, after several calls and text, he just sent that text. What can I do?
It sounds like he wants to get your permission to take a break or end things with you to avoid confrontation. He might be looking for a way out without causing you hurt or pain. It doesn't mean he isn't over his ex--it could just be that the relationship left him feeling hurt, confused or unable to fully commit to someone new just yet. Either give him time and space or tell him that you can't wait around anymore and let him go.
My boyfriend is so wishy washy, I don't know how to fix it?
He loves me, yet he is so confused about the past and future hurt, I don't know if I can compete with all his self doubt. He is constantly going back and forth from this is amazing to I don't know what to do with you kyle. He is so scared, from better scars, to watching me struggling. I offered to open up and let him have his freedom, letting him bounce back. continuing us, but letting the need to go out and have a rebound happen. is this okay?. I have tried: I have tried talking him through it. I have tried to be his hero. I have tried to stand in and be what his ex wasn't. I don't know what else to do other than let him be free. I think it was caused by: His need to be free, his need to feel not responsible for me, his need to play around, or he is not over his ex.
It seems that there are two issues at play here, the first being that he does not seem to be over his ex and the second being that he does not love or respect you enough to move forward with yo A man who is behaving in the unstable way you describe may not be mature enough to have a conversation with about love and commitment. The bottom line is that when a man loves a woman and wants to invest in a future with her he rushes to her side to spend time with her and he does not talk about his ex to the extent that you are describing. Also, a relationship that is forcing you to be someone that you are not is not worth it in the long run.
I been seeing a guy a 1 yr. now every time we get things going his ex shows up destroys our relationship?
I need help understanding why he lets her
Have you tried talking to your boyfriend and letting him know how you feel about your ex coming between you two? If you have, and he won't cut off communication with her, it could be that he's not ready to completely let her go. In that case, it would be in your best interest to move on.
Wow a person who I can talk to?
Should I be worried if my boyfriend sent me an email talking about how he think an ex is an ex that should stay in the past and how he hopes I feel the same way because one of my exes came to fix my car and see his daughter and he didn't like it. He sent an email talking about how his ex was sending him pictures and trying to be his wife and for as beautiful as she was he didn't want her. He sent me 11 pictures of her. I asked him about it and he said that he wanted me to know that a woman may be beautiful on the outside but when they are over, it's over, there's no going back. I thought that was a strange answer to a strange action. I don't understand why he sent me so many and I didn't know he had them and she was sending them.
It's possible that your boyfriend is just jealous, and he might be trying to use the photos of his ex to make you feel bad. If you have a child with your ex, then your new boyfriend should respect the fact that your ex will be involved in your daughter's life, so communication between the two of you as parents is inevitable. As long as you set boundaries with your ex husband and there are no romantic feelings between you both, you new boyfriend should have nothing to worry about. Explain to your current boyfriend that your relationship with your ex is purely based on parental obligation. If he can't accept that, it might be time to look for someone more mature.
What should I do? Just continue or I have to quit?
I had a boyfriend for 1 year and 5 months. I always ask for his account in Facebook but he refuses to give it to me due to privacy reason. But today I just found out that he has another account in Facebook and his only friend is his ex for 4 years. I sent him a message but still there is no answer. He is a seaman. Should I continue to love him or should I quit?
Relationships that last are built on a healthy foundation of trust and love. It is emotionally healthy that he did not want to give him your Facebook account because that is private. However, the fact that he has a secret Facebook account under another identity with only his ex showing as a friend shows emotional infidelity and perhaps real infidelity. If he won't discuss this with you or agree to terminate the account and the relationship then it is time for you to forget about him and move on.
After 4 years of steady relationship with my boyfriend, I feel he still needs to try and keep his ex wife together because of her mental stress and it affects their kids?
My boyfriend has been divorced for 5 years and we have been living together 3 and dating 4. Today he said he read an article about how most elderly people regret one big thing and that was worrying too much. Which is what his ex wife always does. He said to me that he thought he should send her the article and I asked why? Why would he feel the need Still to help her when he has already stated that she will never change. It was so hurtful that he feels this need to still help her with her problems. I feel like it was a betrayal for him to do this. His kids are teenagers and know that she has always been like this and why would he think sending her an article was even appropriate
She is the mother of his children. Even though his children are teenagers, he is still concerned about her emotional welfare because it correlates with how she parents their children. Sending her that article was just his way of asking her once again to stop worrying. At this point in his life, helping her is most likely a habit. Be happy that he is a man that cares about everyone in his life, including his ex wife. There is nothing nefarious going on between them.
My ex-boyfriend is having a wife wanting to win back our communication. Why is that so?
We broke up 6 years ago. I got married in 2013. He then made another Facebook account to reach me just to say happy birthday and congratulations. I replied back. Then we've lost communication. Then it happened again now. He wanted to win back our communication, and he is asking for a final closure. I told him that it was long time ago, and we already have our own families. I had already forgiven him, and I am happy with my husband now. I am just wondering what drove him to communicate for that reason. I found it pathetic and I don't know what's happening with him, after all those years. Then he confessed that he is still in love with me. It is absolutely OK with me if he wanted communication but not to the extent that his feelings are not yet over with me. My husband is a seafarer, I don't want to go wasting his trust for me. I have tried: I've tried to meet him and we've talked about it. I deleted my Cellphone # to his phone, but unfortunately, he chatted my friend and asked again for my phone number. And now, as still, I am not able to get pregnant he said that he is willing to give me a baby if needed. I think it was caused by: I really don't know the cause of this problem.
There are a million reasons why might have chosen to contact you again. It could be because he's feeling lonely, unhappy, or wondering what life have been like if you two were still together. Or, he might have recently gone through a loss of some sort. By continuing to communicate with him, you're fueling his hopes for a relationship with you. You already know that he's interested in a romantic relationship, so there's no point in trying to stay friends with him. If you don't want to be with him, tell him the truth and ask him to stop calling/texting you. He will eventually get over you if you stop feeding his ego.
Am I being unreasonable demanding that my partner gets a divorce?
I have been with my partner for 3 years. 1 year ago he moved his ex (who he is still married to) back into the family home because they could not afford two places. He says its for the kids ( aged 14, 19 and 21) the kids are still at home. He stays at mine 3-4 nights a week and the rest at the marital home. I feel really angry as I did not sign up to this. When we met the ex was living in a flat with her boyfriend. She is still with her boyfriend who also visits the family home! I never go to the family home.
Yes, it's unreasonable that you demand he gets a divorce. He was already married when you two got together. It's an unconventional situation, but if they're not having an intimate relationship, then you most likely have nothing to worry about. If you're uncomfortable with the situation, you should probably consider moving on and finding an unmarried man.
My ex asked me if I still have feelings for him and he is married, and I said no and he said that him and his wife think I do, well I told him I don't, and he said you are hurting my feelings?
My ex asked me if I still have feelings for him and he is married, and I said no and he said that him and his wife think I do, well I told him I don't, and he said you are hurting my feelings. I have tried: Ignoring him and letting him know I don't and his wife. I think it was caused by: Going to court for our daughter
Your ex-husband clearly is confused and has problems with personal boundaries. For him to even think of having this type of conversation with you right after a custody battle for your daughter belittles you and shows a lack of respect for his new relationship. From now on set a boundary that he may not talk about personal issues with you at all and if he attempts this again, talk to your lawyer and have him or her send him a cease and desist letter for emotionally harassing you during a proceeding.
Does my husband still have feelings for his ex if he likes her Facebook photo?
They were high-school sweethearts. Hi, broke up years ago. I have tried: I sent her a warning text message. I think it was caused by: I don't know
Liking a photo from the past is very common on Facebook and usually people post pictures of old high school sweethearts because they are meant to be good for a chuckle. If the Like was not hidden from you, then there was probably nothing to it, but if it was hidden from you and you scoured her page for it, then some kind of flirtation with her might exist. Consider too that he may have also have liked it in order to make you a bit jealous.
However, it probably was not a good idea to write her about the post because she will probably just forward what you wrote to him, since they are such good, intimate old friends, and this will make you appear jealous, controlling or possessive to him. If she is interested you have then given them a reason to talk further.
My current boyfriend always want his EX's number when we had fights. I asked him several time 2 stay away from her, he just says he doesn't date her, I don't know what to do, when I talk to him about this he makes me feel like an immature or unsecured. What must I do?
My current boyfriend is making me feel left out
Their friendship is hurting your relationship. Unless he and his ex share children, there is no reason to contact her. Unfortunately he is not understanding and you should not feel immature or insecure. Your feelings are valid because he brings up calling his ex right after you and he have a fight, which means he is seeking her out for emotional comfort. He may not be dating his ex but he is having some sort of emotional affair because it is ruining your relationship.
Should I tell the guy I'm dating that I think his ex is playing games?
I am recently dating an old beau from 17 years ago, we have something really good but his ex of 1 yr is still in the picture. They are friends, yet she texts him when she knows we're together. She also recently shared this dilemma about a guy she was dating that still tries to control her (like she's trying to make him jealous.) I said, it's real simple all she has to do is block his number. Now he wants to meet her. I want to talk to him about how if this gets messy I'm out and give him examples. What do you think?. I have tried: Nothing, it's a new issue. I think it was caused by: She's not done
If you make a really big deal out of this your boyfriend may be inspired to pursue his ex just to show you that nobody else controls him. Say nothing for now and let the two of them meet. If he is meant to be with you, he will return to you and more than likely not be that excited about his meeting with his ex. Even if you are right about her attempts to sabotage your relationship, you should keep your accusations to yourself until the situation is overtly worse. If she continues to contact him after this you can start putting your foot down, voicing your exasperation and suspicions and give him a "it's me or her ultimatum."
My boyfriend bumped into his ex and refused to go the direction she was going?
What does he mean because the other time when we were standing the ex was standing two meters away, he thought I didn't see it and suggested we go somewhere else
He is uncomfortable being with you around his ex. This is completely normal to feel like you want to run away when you see an ex. Most likely that is all that is happening and he is not cheating with her.
My boyfriend of 5 years has been divorced for ten years and has one daughter and three step daughters from this relationship. She is still part of his extended family?
She is remarried and has a husband but invites my boyfriend and me and her past spouse to Thanksgiving and Christmas and is invited to the states to see his family which they often pay for.. They do not extend that to me to be paid for and this Christmas his sister sent 200 dollars to his ex and 4 children.. one of which is boyfriend's biological daughter.. They are all in their 30s with partners of their own. She sent me a pair of socks which all the women received as well. I am really feeling burnt as he had one other girlfriend since this one and I always felt he was cheating. He lived with her for a year and a half in her basement after we met and until I insisted he move out. I feel really stressed about this whole thing.. I have tried: I have talked to him and got very angry and know I am over reacting at times but I feel I am always 2nd. I broke off with him as well but we got back together.. I think it was caused by: He does not like to disconnect.
Your boyfriend has a hard time making a final emotional break from people. It actually is great that he gets along so well with his daughters mother and her husband. The people in his life may need to see you married to him before they warm up to you or pay for your trips to see them. It seems that he is trying to do the best for his daughter and making an effort to allow her to spend time with both her parents on holidays. It is sad that you feel like you are second compared to everyone else in his life. Make an effort to appeal to him to make you first in his life. Praise him for all that he does for others and ask you get the same effort at home because you deserve it.
Hello, there was a time I had some disagreements with my husband but the reply I got from him was that I'm paying for the mistakes done by his ex wife. What does that really mean? Does the man really love me?
I had disagreements with my husband and after that he started avoiding me especially, answering my text messages. Does the man really love me?
After a failed marriage, even if we do not mean it, we can make the person we are currently with pay for past mistakes in the failed marriage. If he loved you when he married you, then he still loves you now but is taking time to reflect or distance himself from hurt. Date a divorced man is a VisiHow article about dating but can still help you now by explaining some things.
Apologize for your disagreement even if you still feel you were right. This will begin to break down the walls of protection he currently has built.
Confused about my ex. attitude towards me?
My ex wanted to break up with me beginning of Jan, then when he was in trouble, he came back to me, and we were good since then. Friday, he is still telling me he loves me, by Monday (just two days), he broke up with me because we had an argument. We didn't contact each other for about a week, then I texted him, and called him, got no reply. after 20 minutes, he called back, just told me that he was busy with his family issues, obviously, he didn't want me to say anything, he just mentioned that he is with his friend and talk to me later. Then he just disappeared. I'm so confused and don't know what to do. I have tried: Calling him and explaining any misunderstanding which is not caused by me.. I think it was caused by: He is insecure or bored with me?
This guy can't offer you any relationship stability so move on even if he comes back and begs to be back into your life. Breaking up over one argument shows that he has no intention of a secure future with you. Do not waste your time chasing after him for attention. Instead, put all of that focus into finding someone mature that understands what love and a relationship mean.
How can I get him to stop worrying?
My boyfriend's ex is also his kids mother of their 3. She does not want him. How can I get his mind off of her? Almost every conversation we have he brings her up if it is in a memory of about their kids. It is really annoying because I know he does not talk to her about me. I have tried: Nothing, I just get moody. I think it was caused by: We started dating too early
You have to keep in mind that not only do they have three kids together, they spent a huge portion of his life in a relationship together. You have said that you got together too soon after the breakup of his past relationship so the best thing to do would be to suggest that you slow things down so that he has the proper time to get over any unresolved feelings from his past relationship. He may refuse and if he does then you have the right to set up some conditions such as he is not allowed to bring up her name for the next 30 days and you will do any visitation switches with his ex wife. See if out of sight out of mind works for him to begin to release all those past emotions.
Why does he have more to say to his ex than me. Why does he try to make an impression on her?
I've been with my partner for 3 years. He was married for 15 years and they have a 9 yr old daughter. At the start for the first 3 months of our relationship, he would talk each night to his ex and say I love you. She had broke up with him. They meet up when the daughter is going between homes as the daughter stays on the second weekend of each month and I notice he has more to say about his day and accomplishments filling her in showing her photos of work and interest which means they are in body warmth of each other I treat it as normal though I feel he has more to say to her than me and notice there standing so close. I don't understand that.. I have tried: Accepting they have a child together and being supportive as much as I can be.. I think it was caused by: She ended the relationship. He was still in love and now as I believe him says he loves her as a good friend but is not in love. And I'm insecure that secretly he wants closure and want to be close to her so he can make it work with her again or get closure. But she keeps pushing him away when he gets to close emotionally and with comfort and relationship her(other than for their daughter)
He has been with you for 3 years. That means that you were not a rebound for him. Look at it this way, you provide him the stability and happiness that allows him to be friends and co-parents with his ex-wife. They were married for 15 years which is most of his adult life. So if they appear closer it is more out of habit than need. Do not worry about it. Personally, I have known my son's father for 20 years. We are close friends and co-parents but nothing more. We speak often but really all that is left is a good friendship out of our relationship from when we were younger. I have no interest in a romantic relationship with him and neither does he is me. You should not get worried unless he becomes overly bothered by someone his ex is dating.
My boyfriend doesn't say "I love you" to me. Only when I do, why is that?
My boyfriend dated a girl for 3 years and they broke up, and its been a year since they dated and he is now with me, but when I asked him why he usually doesn't say "I love you" he tells me that is because his 3 year ex and him weren't really big into saying it to each other. He just seems to always bring her up when I say something sometimes. I know he compares me to her, but I told him to never do it, but he does. I have tried: I just listened to what he said and moved on. I'm not big with wanting to have a fight with him. I think it was caused by: He was with her for 3 years and been with me for a few months.
Be careful, you may be a rebound for him. He has to get used to the idea that he is no longer with his ex. This will take time but there may be a penalty in your relationship with him before it is all said and done. People have to deal with the end of a relationship before starting another relationship. Most experts suggest staying single for at least 6 months in order to properly get back into a good emotional state for dating again. When someone enters into a new relationship after just ending another one, the new person is often just an emotional crutch for them.
Categories : Relationships
Recent edits by: Inukshuk, VC, Doug Collins