Know You Actually Are in Love when in a Long Distance Relationship
Edited by Kathy McGraw
Whether you are in a long-distance relationship because you met online and they live hundreds or even thousands of miles away from you, or your partner had to move away due to a military deployment, you're not alone. While we don't have good numbers for how many couples live apart from each other, the circumstances in the world suggest that there would be more long-distance relationships now than in the past.
More Couples are Meeting Online
A Pew Research poll found that 5 percent of Americans who are married or in a long-term relationship and 11 percent of those who have been in a committed relationship for 10 years or less met their mates online. Furthermore, the proportion of couples who have met online has doubled in the past eight years. While online dating still takes a distant second seat to the in-person variety, it's becoming far more common.
The availability of the Internet all over the world has enabled people to connect with each other from the most far-flung places, and they can stay in touch in ways that were not possible even 10 to 15 years ago. This means that whether your sweetheart is deployed on an extended tour in Afghanistan or the love of your life lives in New Zealand while your home is in Canada, you can have a relationship with them, even though you are oceans apart.
Good News for Long-distance Lovers
Despite what common wisdom has to say, there is some good news for long-distance lovers about the success and longevity of their relationships. It seems that long-distance relationships offer benefits that their close-distance counterparts do not, namely:
- 1You get to know each other on a deeper, more intimate level. Talking on the phone lowers your inhibitions, and you may tell your partner things that you might be hesitant to disclose face-to-face.Advertisement
- 2Because you aren't always in your partner's presence, that heady in-love period lasts longer.Advertisement
- 3You appreciate each other more because it's true that absence makes the heart grow fonder.
- 4You retain your independence. Since your partner is not always around, you have more time for yourself.
- 5You are committed to each other completely. It isn't possible to be "half-in" a long-distance relationship because it takes a level of commitment to manage the logistics alone; you have to make time to chat with each other and time to visit one another.
So, if you happen to be in a long-distance relationship, take heart: the odds are not as much against you as you think. And if you're wondering if that feeling you think may be love is really love, then read on to find out how to tell.
You Know You're In Love with Your Long-distance Partner When
- 1You would rather talk to them than spend time with anyone else. There is no other person with whom you would rather spend time with. You would rather talk your partner than do almost anything else. It isn't that you don't enjoy time with your friends, or other activities, it's that your priorities have shifted.
Tips and Tricks
- Make sure that you communicate with each other. Since you aren't in physical proximity with each other and you may not interact on a daily basis, it's important to communicate clearly with each other. Miscommunication is the breeding ground of misunderstandings and resentments.
- Set up regular phone or Skype chats.
- Make plans to eventually move closer to one another. It doesn't have to be anytime soon, but knowing that there is an end in sight to being apart can help get you through the loneliness and longing that comes from so much time away from your lover.
- Make sure your partner knows that you appreciate them, even though you're apart. This could take the form of silly emails or sending little gifts to them in the mail.