Introduce Yourself to Your Girlfriends Mom: What to Say and Do

Edited by Nerissa Avisado, Eng, Lynn, bharth and 13 others

When the relationship with your girlfriend turns out well, it slowly progresses into new and exciting milestones. You introduce each other to your friends. That works out well and soon, the time will come when your girlfriend is ready to bring you home to introduce you to her mom. Meeting your girlfriend's mom for the first time is a big milestone in your relationship. You are now being invited into your girlfriend's family circle. Your girlfriend wants her mom to like you and for you to get along with her. Although it may be nerve-wracking, be happy this is a healthy sign that your relationship is going well.


Your girlfriend wants you to shine and charm her mother. This is very important to her, and it puts a lot of pressure on you. You need to summon all of your confidence and bravado and prepare for that first critical meeting. Consider this to be the most important interview of your life. Follow the tips below discussing how you get through that first introduction to your girlfriend's mom, and make a great impression.

Putting Things into Perspective

What should you be feeling when your girlfriend asks you to meet her mom? There are a lot of things at stake in this first meeting, so it is important that you take a look at the situation and its implications:

  • She might be your future mother-in-law and your children's grandmother.
  • You are there to convince her that you are worthy to be with her daughter, provided you really love her daughter.
  • You must also show her that you are a responsible man with good intentions.
  • You need to show that you value the relationship with her daughter and you are worthy of her trust.
  • If it goes well with your girlfriend, she is going to be a part of the rest of your life.
  • If you do not get along with your girlfriend's mother, it's going to a bit of a nightmare, especially when it comes to her family's events.

Preparing Yourself for the Big Meet Up

1. Do your Homework

  • Recall stories that your girlfriend shared with you about her family. Knowing little things, remembering things reveals your interest and engagement with her family. Particularly focus on good stories regarding her mom.
  • Ask about her mom. If there is anything you need to know before being introduced, find out early to avoid any surprises. Her mother will also be impressed when you focus on her family.
  • Find out about her mother. This can will arouse her interest. Note details such as hobbies and interests, age, likes and dislikes, and the condition of her health. Bring a bottle of her favorite wine a wine and some flowers. Those things will make a great first impression.

2. Make a Good Impression

Remember how your own mother reminded you to tuck in your shirt? Tuck in your shirt. Smile. Don't be nervous. Minding your posture. Smile. All those things that drove you crazy when your mother kept on at you are going to come in handy now. (after meeting her mother, you could call yours and thank her). Your mother was right. First impressions are always important, but perhaps not as important as in this moment. At no time in the future do you want to hear your mother in law say, "I knew he was a schmuck from the first time I laid eyes on him."

  1. 1
    Dress well
    Whether you are meeting her at your girlfriend's house or at a restaurant. Make extra effort with you clothes. A T-shirt and jeans may be fine, by why chance it. "Business casual" - a button-down shirt and slacks are safe attire for this event.
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  2. 2
    Present her a gift
    A bouquet of flowers never fails when meeting at their house.
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  3. 3
    Address her mom properly
    Call her Mrs. ___ or Ma'am, and not by her first name unless she asks you to. This shows respect and reflects good judgment on your part.
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  4. 4
    Have confidence
    As you meet her for the first time, smile and make eye contact when you greet her. Extend a firm handshake. Some moms go in for a hug. If she initiates a hug, reciprocate warmly.
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3. Be your Best Self

After the introductions, you will be asked to sit and settle down together for a chat. This is the getting-to-know you part of the meeting, and where the real test begins. Don't be false your best you. Watch your language, this is not poker with the boys. Your girlfriend has probably only told her mother about the wonderful things you've done. She's portrayed you as kind and decent. Don't prove her wrong.

  1. 1
    Be present
    In situations like this, you may still feel self-conscious, but be brave. Don't only engage with your girlfriend, or speak to her mother through her. This won't put you in a positive light. Overcome your shyness, let your tongue out and talk to her mom. Why you are there is to get to know one another. A simple start can trigger the flow of an enjoyable, engaging conversation and you will find a surprise and delight in it.
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  2. 2
    Keep off your phone
    What matters most are the two persons that you are with; give them your undivided attention. Turn your phone off. Don't take calls. Don't check your Facebook or other social media. It's rude, and especially so to people of an age, who aren't familiar with the Internet. It makes anyone feel ignored when the person they're with continually looks at their phone for, what...more interesting engagement? Be attentive and make them feel that they are important to you.
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  3. 3
    Show affection to your girlfriend
    There's nothing to make a mom feel happy and joyful like when she sees her daughter being loved and cared for. Don't hold back your genuine affection toward your girlfriend in front of her mother, but don't overdo it. Do some simple doting, like pulling out her chair as she sits down or holding her hand, but no groping or necking in front of her mother.
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  4. 4
    Show you have a positive character
    You can talk about your interests, hobbies and things that make you happy. Of course, include your girlfriend. Mention what the two of you enjoy doing together. Seeing your positive personality is important instead of portraying a sulking, grouchy boyfriend. Don't bring up complaints or disgusts or dislikes about other people, like your boss and your work or problems surrounding your family.
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  5. 5
    To be safe, keep the conversation light
    Don't start discussions about religion, sex and politics.
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  6. 6
    Be polite even if her mother is rude to you
    Mothers have character too, and not all of them are lovely and sweet. You may find a girlfriend's mom blurting out offensive remarks, even if it is not addressed to you. She may love to talk about politics or religion. Don't engage, especially if you do not agree with her. You can steer the conversation into safer topics.
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  7. 7
    Offer help to around the house
    If a meal is to be served, ask if you can lend a hand to make dinner or set the table. After dinner, you can offer to clean up. Of course, most likely, her mom will turn down your offer and leave the two of you alone. Either way, she will appreciate your offer of help.
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  8. 8
    Don't have too much drink
    You may be offered wine or other alcoholic drinks. Limit yourself to one or two. Drinking more than that, even if you aren't even tipsy, gives a negative impression. Mothers worry their daughters might end up with a drinker.
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  9. 9
    Never monopolize the conversation
    Demonstrate genuine interest by listening and laughing if she tells you some "family secrets" and anecdotes. It can be a test to see if you find simple joys in mundane family matters.
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  10. 10
    Say thank you
    Whether you enjoyed the encounter or not, thank your girlfriend and her mom at the end of the night. Later, tell your girlfriend how you enjoyed meeting her mom and that you had a great time. Even if it's not entirely honest, she will let her mother know what you said, and that's puts you in a positive light.
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Congratulations, you survived it!

Some guys are lucky enough to actually enjoy spending the first time with their girlfriend's mother. For guys who don't really care for their girlfriends, it can only be a chore, an obligation. Either way, try to make the best of it, guys. Find some common ground, or something interesting about her mother, for the truth is, although you choose your girlfriend, you do not get to choose your mother in law!

Questions and Answers

What to say when introducing your mom?

There are simple tips when introducing your mom to your girlfriend or boyfriend. First impressions are crucial - especially meeting the parents of your loved one for the first time.

  • It is important to prepare both your mom and girlfriend or boyfriend days before the actual meeting. You can best prepare them by informing your boyfriend or girlfriend about certain important details about your mom, her preferences, background, culture and overall personality and attitude.
  • It would be an endearing gesture if he or she presents a gift for your mom. That would set the mood for both of them. This should be something that your mom would appreciate like if she loves to cook then you could give her a cookbook.
  • You should introduce your girlfriend or boyfriend first to your mom. "David Jones, this is my mother, Josephine Tyler. Mom, this is my boyfriend, David." Use full names for their first meeting to make it formal.
  • You can also add words to describe them, and accentuate their personalities such as "I want you to meet the best mom in the world (Your mom's name).
  • Emphasize the skills or distinctions of both parties. Perhaps your mom is a well-known corporate lawyer and your girlfriend or boyfriend has had a recent job promotion. Add this to the conversation. It is important to highlight both of their strengths.
  • You can mention common interests or similarities they might have like cooking, basketball, or yoga to start the conversation in the right direction.

I love someone but she stays in Russia and I am in India, so the problem is, how can I propose to her?

Same as above, please help me I don't know what to say

A marriage proposal should always be done in person. You should arrange to go visit her in Russia and speak to her parents about your intent in person. If you cannot arrange that just yet, you should call her parents to ask them for their daughter's hand in marriage.

If you are going to propose online, at least do it over a video call and it would be great if you could send a ring to her friend or parent beforehand so that they can present it to her when you ask her.

It might be a good idea, if you're calling and worried about your nerves, to write down what you want to say on a piece of paper.

How to introduce myself to my girlfriend's parents?

I need to know before I get to talk to them tomorrow afternoon. It is the very first time in my life and I can't find words to say to them. Please help me before tomorrow morning.

Do not put too much pressure on yourself. If you are nervous, take a minute to look into a mirror and practice introducing yourself. Keep things casual so that you can improvise without looking like a fool. They are going to be curious about you so be prepared. Think of is like a job interview and you are applying for the privilege of dating their daughter.

I met with my girlfriend by coincidence and she introduced me to her mom as her friend. Could she think less of me?

I haven't seen her in a while and I am thinking maybe she is into someone else. The mom didn't seem too impressed either

You may have been put in the friendzone if you ran into the both of them after not seeing your girlfriend for some time. She introduced you as a friend so either that is how she sees you or she does not want her mom to know about your relationship yet. The only way to really find out is to ask your girlfriend out on a date and see what she says.

What should I do or say to my girlfriend's mother?

I'm going to meet my girlfriend's mother today, she doesn't want me dating her daughter. What should I do? She doesn't know we are dating

Unfortunately, you are going into a possible hostile meeting. Try to be yourself and be ready to address any issues her mother may bring up that she has about you dating her daughter. The best offensive thing you can do is show her how much you care about and respect her daughter. Whatever you do, keep your emotions in check and do not get angry or defensive.

My family member is meeting my girlfriend family and I need to write a letter for the introduction or cute messages for introducing my family to her's?

My family member is meeting my girlfriend family and I need to write a letter for the introduction or cute messages for introducing my family to her's. I have tried: Nothing. I think it was caused by: Nothing

In the letter of introduction describe how much it will mean for your relationship that the families are meeting each other. You can use a phrase like "It will be so sweet when our families meet". Have your girlfriend and you compare notes on the family members to get a list of what they have in common.

What must I say to her before we go deep?

I'm shy and also I don't like to talk too much

Introduce yourself and give a few compliments to her home or outfit. Ask your girlfriend to help you keep the conversation going with her parents.

What to say to my girlfriend's mum on the phone?

Hi, I am 20 yeas of age dating this girl, and my girlfriend wants me to introduce myself to her mum

Introduce yourself just like you would on a job interview. State your name and ask if she has any questions for you. Respond to each question no matter how uncomfortable the question might be. You are basically applying to date her daughter. Most mothers just want to know that you will treat their daughter with respect and care.

Conversation issues due to language and cultural differences?

Hi, my girlfriend is from the US, and I am from Argentina. My English is not good, and her Spanish is not good. I am visiting her for the first time. I don't know much about her or her culture. Any tips for me to have a pleasant first meeting?. I have tried: Nothing.. I think it was caused by: Language and cultural differences

Argentinian culture is different in terms of economics and propriety. In the US, just be yourself. Use Google Translate if you need to in order to communicate with her effectively. Be polite and respectful towards her. It is normal to feel nervous and out of place but her mother will appreciate if you are respectful. The biggest thing you probably are going to have to prove is that you are not with her daughter for US immigration purposes. Once you prove that you are genuinely interested in her daughter, you will be okay.

What do I say when I meet her, this is kind of daring for me can you help?

She wants me to meet her mom tomorrow and I am kind of nervous

Introduce yourself and smile. Let the conversation flow naturally but if there is an awkward silence then you can use pleasantries like pointing out something nice in the house. Tell your girlfriend that you are nervous and ask her to carry on any conversation if you get stuck.

How do I act and talk with my mother in law?

What should I say the first thing to introduce myself to her?

Hi, it is wonderful to finally meet you in person. Find some common interests with your mother in law that you can use as conversation starters.

If you have problems with any of the steps in this article, please ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.


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Categories : Relationships

Recent edits by: DeleteQnA, VC, adnanmanzoor176

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