Identify Signs a Guy Does Not Want a Girlfriend

Edited by Vanessa Alexandra Avisado, Maria Quinney, Lynn, Rob and 3 others

You have been dating this guy for months. You like him, but you've never heard the "L" word and it puzzles you. It's been a long wait already. Maybe he's the guy of your dreams and you are long to have a deeper relationship with him.


Men are plain human beings, ladies! Honestly, they are not hard to figure out. They don't have the complex emotions that women have. There are signs to look for in a guy that will reveal if he truly desires to have you as his girlfriend, or he's just not into you. Often when it comes to your "so-called relationship", guys have completely different agenda, you still haven't identified. If your not sure what his intentions are, and apparently you're not, keep reading for tell-tale signs your guy doesn't actually want a girlfriend.

How to Identify Signs a Guy Doesn't Want a Girlfriend

  1. 1
    Friends with Benefits
    Sex is all he is after.
    1. Whoosh. He wants a relationship right away. A whirlwind relationship is a red flag. Be alarmed! He is fast tracking you straight into the bedroom. The speed at which he comes into your life, is the speed at which he's going to disappear.
    2. Hot About Sex. He's less interested in knowing more about you, and more interested in knowing what's under the clothes you're wearing.
    3. Private Displays of Affection. He's all over you in private, but casual or just more like a good friend in public. Red flag - there's a reason he doesn't want to reveal your relationship.
    4. Great Sex - Shame About The Rest. He's good in bed; a good performer but no brain. He doesn't demonstrate relationship skills nor reciprocate kindness, respect and consideration to you.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  2. 2
    Telephone, Text and E-mail Messages
    1. You're the one making the calls. If he really likes you, he will call you. He'll want to make time for you and make sure no other man makes moves on you. He wants his presence to be felt. If he isn't calling you, he's avoiding you. Don't come up with a slew of excuses why he isn't calling, the fact is - he isn't calling. Don't try make up for his failure to engage by calling and calling. It will only annoy him, but won't stop him from sleeping with you before he exits, stage left.
    2. You cannot get your hands on his phone. The only reason he'd be overprotective of his phone is because there are things he doesn't want you to find out. Maybe he is communicating with other girls. Maybe he is swapping porn with friends. That being said, you need to ask yourself is it's right to try to snoop on his phone, and what trust you are already lacking to consider doing that.
    3. He leaves the room to take calls. He does not want you to hear him talk to whoever is it calling him, and does not let you know who was on the phone. Some people take calls in another room as a gesture of politeness, but if it feels more secretive, you should put on your walking shoes.
    4. His texts and e-mail messages are short. Yes, he is polite enough to respond, but he doesn't care. This is common for online dating. If he cannot even strike or hold a conversation with you before meeting for a date, or when you are face-to-face across the table, but he can find his voice to ask you to see your apartment after dinner, he has other agenda.
    5. Late night calls only, or when he is intoxicated. This is a classic Booty Call.
    6. No Peeping. He closes his internet window when you stand or sit beside him.
    7. Takes a long time to respond. It takes hours, days, or weeks to receive a call or text back from him. You're not one of his top priorities. You aren't even on the list.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  3. 3
    S2RSA004-3 1.jpg
    1. Being late all the time. This is being disrespectful of you, especially when he gives priority to his own time, not yours. It doesn't matter to him when you get upset. People who are always late believe whatever they have to do, is more important than anything you have to do.
    2. Dating for months, but love is not spoken. If it's been half a year or more that you've been going out with him, and he's never talked of love. He's not shy. It's not that hard. He probably doesn't have the necessary feelings regarding your relationship, and probably never will.
    3. He disappears. This is another red flag. It means he's not really after you. If he likes you, he would never even consider doing this for fear of losing you. He probably has something else going on.
    4. You are the one asking him out. He is not asking you out because he's at least indifferent to seeing you or not, and at worst, isn't at all interested. If you don't know where you stand with him, you won't find out by initiating a date. Let him ask, otherwise it seems like a desperate move on your part. He'll never respect you completely. If you become aggressive, you can have a fling with him, but never a real relationship.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  4. 4
    Who pays
    1. Stingy on a date. He treats you a burger when you deserve a steak. He takes you to casual eating-places, instead of treating you to fine dining with a romantic atmosphere. He doesn't value you. You know times are tough, but at least once or twice monthly, he should spend on you.
    2. He doesn't pay for anything. It's not the fifties, so he doesn't have to pay for everything, but a person who never pays is not someone you should tether yourself to. He's probably a user.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  5. 5
    1. His ex always comes up. He's still hung up and not over his past relationship. He is with you physically, but his mind and heart are elsewhere. He is not emotionally involved nor available for you. If the conversation always leads to his ex - run away. Immediately!
    2. He talks about dating other women.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  6. 6
    You render acts of kindness while he does nothing
    1. He's only taking advantage of you and maybe referring to you as his cleaning woman. If a man respects and admires you, he won't allow you to act as a servant.
    2. Stop doing housework, cleaning and dirty errands for him.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  7. 7
    Actions don't match his words
    He plays on you, and manipulates you. He tells you what he thinks you want to hear so you will do whatever he wants.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  8. 8
    Priority and Plans
    1. He can't commit to plans a day in advance. He is still waiting for something better to come up before he commits. You are only a second priority. If he wants you, he will take up his time, day and night to spend it with you.
    2. He makes promises he can't fulfill. You are not important enough for his word to be valuable. He is not worried about you breaking up with him, because he doesn't care.
    3. Future plans are not discussed. In his crystal ball, he doesn't see you there, standing beside him.
    4. You make and prepare the entire plan for a weekend, for the next date and he does not participate or suggest anything.
    5. All the above are signs he is not willing to share his life with you. He is a with holder.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  9. 9
    No interest in things or people you love and care about
    If he doesn't want to be introduced to your parents and friends, this is a sign that he does not want to know any more about you, or invest in a relationship with you
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  10. 10
    1. Attends important events without inviting you. You are still not a part of his lifestyle. You are a convenience.
    2. When you do attend together, he leaves you behind and forgets you are there.
    3. Loyalty to his friends over you is obvious. He has more trust in his friends' opinions, enjoys their company more, and is more concerned with their needs. If these are true, then he is just not ready to commit to you.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  11. 11
    Eye to eye
    Looking the other way when you are talking. He holds no value in what you are saying. He is bored and gawks in all directions except for at you. Eye contact is very revealing.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help
  12. 12
    Tell me who your friends are, and I can tell you who you are
    1. You have never met his family or any of his friends. After six months, he has never talked about you, nor introduced you to his family or friends. This means he is not going to make you a part of his life.
    2. He doesn't talk about his work or business.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No| I need help

Is There a Loving Feeling?

  • He hates the things you love. He admits and could not care less about the things you are fond of. This is a clear signal that he is not interested and does not care about you.
  • He criticizes you about little things and is vocal in saying he can't be happy with you being you.
  • He does not laugh with you, but laughs at you. He doesn't care if he hurts your feelings. He never will.
  • He doesn't preserve your honor. You have no value to him and he doesn't feel responsible for your protection.

He Does Not want to Commit

You anticipate the time when he'll say the "L" word. Why is it hard for him to admit that he loves you? He is not a poor communicator, but is simply afraid to say, "I love you" because he thinks you'll expect a commitment from him, that he is not ready to deal with.

Now that you've read the signs above, if the guy you're ogling, or sleeping with, has manifested any of these signs, suffice it to say the guy doesn't want a real, loving relationship with you. Stop wasting your time with that man. There's no future with him. Stay away, move out and practice self-preservation.

If you have problems with any of the steps in this article, please ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.


Article Info

Categories : Relationships

Recent edits by: Nuance, Eng, Rob

Share this Article:

Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 4,514 times.


Thank Our Volunteer Authors.

Would you like to give back to the community by fixing a spelling mistake? Yes | No