Get your boyfriend to propose
Edited by Maha Mahmood, Lynn, Eng, Monika and 3 others
You and your boyfriend seem to have the perfect relationship. You love each other, you get along great, you work well together and you can't imagine anyone better. Yet you've been waiting and waiting, and he still hasn't proposed. It can be perplexing and frustrating, especially when you start wondering if you haven't tried hard enough to give him a hint. With enough time spent waiting, you may even second-guess your boyfriend's true feelings about you or your relationship. You may even consider leaving him in hopes that you'll find someone who's willing to take the plunge. Something is stopping him from fully committing to you, and you deserve to find out why and help him resolve it, if at all possible. Before you give him an ultimatum, there are a few things you can do to nudge your relationship closer towards marriage without putting your boyfriend under excessive pressure.
How to Tell If Your Boyfriend Is Ready for Marriage
Just because your boyfriend loves you, it doesn't mean he's open to heading down the aisle. Guys have biological clocks just like women, and pressuring them into marriage when they're not ready will only scare them away. If he's just not ready, you can wait to see if he's warming up to the thought, or move on and find someone who's not afraid of commitment. Check out the list below to see if your boyfriend's ready for marriage.
- 1He's financially secure. Men often feel that they must be able to pay the bills and live comfortably before they're ready to commit to marriage. If they have a hard time getting by, the pressure of supporting a wife could be too much to bear. If your boyfriend is jumping from job to job, he might not be ready to focus on the long-term. On the opposite side, if your boyfriend has a steady job or plans for one in the near-future, he may be open to commitment. If he's working towards an education or career goal, it may be worth it to wait for him.Advertisement
- 2He introduces you to his family and friends. If your boyfriend introduces you to his parents and he brings you to family gatherings, he's likely to consider you a serious girlfriend and possible marriage material. It's also a good sign if he includes you when he hangs out with his friends. On the other hand, if he acts disrespectful to you in front of his friends, you may want to rethink your plans with him in the future.Advertisement
- 3He cares about you as much as you care about him. If you're the one who's always chasing him around, calling him, making the plans and trying to get him involved with you, then he's just not ready. You may think he'll change if you try hard enough, but it's very unlikely to happen. If he's truly interested in you, he'll put forth just as much effort as you do. If he's not attentive now, it would only get much worse in the future, as the honeymoon stage is the strongest.
- 4He talks about having kids with you. If your boyfriend wonders what your kids would look like, there's a chance he's thinking about marrying you. Especially if he talks about what kind of dad he would be, or that he thinks you would make a great mom. This shows that he's considering his future with you.
- 5He likes your friends and family. If your boyfriend is comfortable with your friends and family, this can be a good sign. Even if he's not close with them, he'll make an effort to get along if he's planning on having a future with you. If he's not committed to you, chances are, he'll try his best to avoid your friends and family gatherings. Also, if he badmouths your friends or family, it's best to steer clear from him. It's not going to get any better.
- 6His friends are married. If his friends are married and he's comfortable with that, chances are, it will influence him too. If he has a negative attitude about his friends being married, or if all of his friends are single, he may not be ready. If he makes comments about his married friends being trapped or he acts like them being married is the worst thing ever, he's probably not going to change his mind about it anytime soon.
- 7He talks about the future. If he asks you about your dreams and shares his own, he may be considering marriage with you. If his plans and your plans line up, you might just be in luck. If, however, his plans for the next 10 years are far-removed from anything you're considering, then it's not likely that he's ready for a long-term commitment.
- 8He already treats you like a wife. If he lets you answer his phone, keep your stuff at his place, and he asks for your advice on big decisions, he already considers you a part of his team. A guy who's afraid to commit is not likely to let you in on his personal life. If he includes you in his daily activities and values your input, he might be ready for marriage.
How to Get Your Boyfriend to Propose
- 1Give him some space. If you've spent a lot of time with him during your relationship, yet you seem to be getting nowhere in the commitment department, let him see how his life would be without you in it. This can help him appreciate what he has. Sometimes guys have a hard time recognizing what they have, and they end up taking it for granted. Spend more time with your friends and family, and don't neglect your hobbies and interests. This will show him that you are confident and can do well without him. Let him be the one to do the chasing. The more space you give your boyfriend, the more interested and curious about you he will be. He needs to realize that he can't just have it all without committing to you. If it doesn't work and he doesn't miss you, then it may be time to reconsider your plans.Advertisement
- 2Show him that you trust him. Mutual trust is a sign of strong and healthy relationship. You should have enough belief in him that you don't always question his whereabouts. Don't let bad experiences and insecurity bring out the worst in you. Not every guy will hurt you or cheat on you. Believe him when he tells you where he his, who he's with or what he's doing. Unless you've caught him lying before, let him live his life without pressure. The more you trust him, the more he'll realize you're confident and marriage-worthy. If he proves that he can't be trusted, don't stick around to see if it'll be different later. In that case, it's best to move on and consider a relationship with someone who deserves your trust.
- 3Make an effort to get along with his family. If you want to marry him, you'll need to meet his family and get along with your future in-laws. Try your best to have a good relationship with his parents and family members. Attend his family gatherings and don't say anything that would disrespect his family. If his family approves of you, they just might nudge him towards marriage. If you don't make an effort to be pleasant with his family members, they may end up with a negative image of you. If that happens, they may pressure him to avoid marriage or even break up with you. Even if his family does not accept you at first, if you're persistent and you treat him well, they may eventually come around.
- 4Show a positive image. We all want to be sexy and outline our best features. However, nothing is more attractive than a woman who has it all and projects herself in a classy way with lots of integrity. You want a guy who accepts you for who you are, and you want him to be proud of you when he is around his friends. Show him you're not only capable of being a good girlfriend and wife, but also a great role model to your future children. Show him you are a classy girl who knows how to be sexy in a way that sets a good example for others. Treat each other with mutual respect, and if you're having a disagreement, don't put him down or argue with him in public. Make him happy and proud to introduce you to his friends and family. Always stay true to your morals and values.
- 5Show him your domestic skills. Even though there's so many fast food options out there, everyone knows that the fastest way to a guy's heart is through his stomach. So many guys love their mom's home cooking, and if you make an effort to cook him those meals, he'll appreciate it in so many ways. You can ask his mom for her recipes and offer to cook with her so you can learn. If you have certain dishes that you love, make those for him, as well. If you don't know much about cooking, look up some recipes or videos online. Show him you'll feed him a lifetime of good food and he will be very happy. If cooking's just not your thing, show him your domestic skills in other ways. Help him organize his closet every few months, or help him paint his apartment. Show him what you're good at around the house. He will be grateful in ways you can't imagine, and you may also become closer in the process. If you cook together and teach him a thing or two in the cleaning and organizing department, he may realize how much he likes his life at home with you in it.
- 6Be honest about your expectations. If you don't need or want to live in a picture-perfect house with three kids, let him know. If he's someone who wants to travel the world but he's afraid that it wouldn't be possible after marriage, let him know if you're down for it. He may simply think that you have different expectations, so it's best to let him know what you want out of life and marriage. If you would rather elope or have a small, private wedding over a big, elaborate ceremony, don't keep it a secret. The same goes with your ring preferences or lack thereof. Sometimes the thoughts of a huge, expensive wedding and choosing the right ring can be overwhelming, but honesty and openness is the best way to go if you want to make him comfortable with marriage.
- 7Take it slow. Be patient and don't rush things. Sometimes we want things to happen so badly that we mess up the natural order. Let the relationship grow on its own. Sometimes we want something so badly that we act desperate and say or do things that we regret. You don't need to ask him to marry you or convince him why he should marry you. Simply bring up a friend's marriage or honeymoon. For example, you can comment on your friend's choice of location for their honeymoon, and see where he would want to go if it were him. If his attitude about it is dismissing or nonchalant, he may not be ready. Half of getting a guy to commit is finding the right person, but the other half is his own desire. Nothing can change that, and too much pressure will only make him more uncomfortable with the thought. If things are meant to happen, they will when the time is right. On the other hand, if you've waited for many years and nothing's changed in your relationship, he may not want to get married at all.
Questions and Answers
Does giving your boyfriend space make him propose?
It is not actually a 100% guarantee to make your boyfriend propose if you give him enough space but it will certainly increase the chance of making him propose. If for instance, you are too tight with your boyfriend, or, you are constantly with him and monitoring all his every moves, including his personal matters, the chance your boyfriend going to propose to you is somewhat slim because he might feel like he's being watched or monitored. Additionally, it will also give him the idea that you are too possessive and eventually makes him to look for a new, and better girl ending your relationship prematurely. If you sometimes give your boyfriend enough time to attend to his own personal matters, your boyfriend will certainly see that you completely trust him and affirms his decision that you are the right girl for him increasing the chance that he will propose.
Steps that have worked that will make your boyfriend wants to marry you?
If your boyfriend has no fear of marriage, has no personal feelings against the traditionalism or rite of marriage, then it is possible to successfully show your boyfriend that he can marry you. The feelings can be tested for years though, and you must be ready for that.
If your boyfriend has fear of marriage, then you need to consult our article on getting over gamophobia.
If your boyfriend is not a traditionalist, if he is a pedantic traditionalist who understands that he is unable to follow all of the rites of the marriage for some reason, or if he understands that a happy couple can stay as happy without any papers or government approval, then you can live happily without the rite of marriage. The absence of marriage for those persons may even make coexistence much sweeter and greater.
Categories : Relationships
Recent edits by: Melissa Rae, mahalia jovita b. bugasto, Monika