Get over Your Ex in Thirty Days or Less
Edited by Donna, Eng, Alma
Why You Need to Get Over Your Ex Fast
When it comes to getting over your ex, the old rule-of-thumb is that it will take you half the time that you were in the relationship to get over it. Therefore, if you were with your boyfriend for ten years, the theory is that it will take you five years to recover from the relationship. However, people nowadays do not have the time for such indulgences and in order to be a fully-functioning, productive and prosperous member of society, cannot afford such long mourning periods over one person.
If you want to be speedy about getting over your ex so you can get on with your life, then set yourself the definite goal of thirty days to get over him or her. Some people find that once they make the decision to get over it, that it happens even faster.
The benefits of getting over an ex fast include:
- Meeting someone new faster so that you can get on with your life and reach any life goals that you may have such as getting married, having children or traveling the world with a special partner
- Better emotional and physical health because you might be having sex and intimacy with a new person who is positive about you
- Lowering your risk of health problems and psychological issues because you have chosen not to dwell on a depressing past or toxic relationship
- Higher self-esteem related to your ability to control your reaction to negative situations
- The admiration of others who will see your lack of self-indulgence over the break-up to be a sign of independence and strength
- An improvement in your finances as you may not be dealing with someone who drains you of cash anymore
- The return of old friends who may have left your social sphere because they were sick of hearing you talk about the relationship
Techniques for Getting Over Your Ex in Thirty Days or Less
To get over your ex in thirty days or less, try the following techniques.
- 1On a paper or electronic calendar, mark the date thirty days from now with the words "Completely Over It." Giving yourself a target date to get over your ex, helps set a psychological set point for achievement. Know that on this day, you will not be thinking about your ex, crying about your ex or doing anything that conjures up either good or bad memories about the past. This is also the date by when you will have cleaned up all of your social media of any remnants of your relationship and gotten rid of any of that person's things or mementos. It is also the date by which you will have taken care of any outstanding bills or shared expenses that might have been part of your relationship. This is also the date by which you should feel quite safe about dating again.Advertisement
- 2Go cold turkey and practice the no contact rule. This means no text messages, phone calls, going out their house, arranging a way to accidentally bump into them, sending them Facebook, Snap Chat or Twitter message or sending a message through a mutual friend who might see your ex later. You should also avoid contacting them in a passive-aggressive way by putting a pointed comment on an old photo on social media as in, "Someone, whose name I shall not mention, doesn't have a clue about how to stay faithful."Advertisement
- 3Block your partner and any friends, new lovers that you could be jealous of and anyone else that could remind you of him on social media. This does not have to be a permanent measure if you do want to see some of your mutual friends again. Try to stick to blocking the ones that are on your ex's side. If all of this is a lot of trouble then simply get off Facebook and hide your profile for a month, telling people that you want some privacy to process things for a while, but that you will be back. Doing this will also spare you the photos or comments about any new relationships or any acting out that might be taking place on Facebook with regards to your breakup.
- 4Get rid of all pictures and references to the two of you on social media of all kinds. Take down all Instagram photos, Facebook photos and photos of him with your family. This sends a clear message to him and everyone else that it is over, but most importantly, it helps you cut your emotional ties faster because there will not be so many images around to remind you of the past.
- 5If you are on Facebook, you should also change your relationship status to Single as soon as possible, which also helps you to psychologically accept that is over. Never wait for your partner to beat you to this because, in some people, that makes you feel as if you have lost something or been replaced. Avoid putting up a status that confuses the issue, such as "It's complicated."
- 6Get rid of anything in your environment at home or in your office that might remind you of your ex. This includes pictures, gifts, mementos and the sheets and pillows that you slept on together. Cleansing your living environment of the partner's past will go a long way towards restoring your relationship.
- 7Refuse to talk about the relationship to anyone. If someone brings the topic up, simply tell them that you are choosing not to discuss the relationship in the name of trying to move forward in life as fast as possible. You can also say to them that you respect your ex and do not want to encourage gossip and that you have made the decision to move forward.
- 8Find a way to exercise for at least an hour every day. During the thirty days or so that it is going to take you to get over your breakup, you are going to experience some agitation and pent-up feelings that cause your cortisol levels to rise. It is during the periods of excitement that you may feel the urge to contact your ex. To release this energy in a healthy way, consider doing yoga, going to the gym, cross fit, jogging, swimming biking or just taking a walk for an hour a day. The added benefit to this is that it will help you to be in great shape for the next relationship that comes along.
- 9Practice being an extrovert, even if you desperately want to be an introvert who stays home alone and mull over every last detail of your break-up. Being as social as possible takes your focus away from thinking about your ex and helps you meet new people who you may want to date in the near future. Getting out with your friends is also good for you, as they will make you feel loved and less lonely.
- 10Watch funny movies about relationships that couples that break up. Having a good belly laugh about the human conditions helps you to take your own break-up less seriously. Recommended comedies about breaking up are The Break Up 2006 with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn, Addicted to Love 1997 with Meg Ryan and Matthew Broderick and Forgetting Sarah Marshall 2008 with Jason Segal and Mila Kunis.
- 11Pamper yourself by going for to a spa or by getting a massage treatment. Steam, bubbling water, and an expert human touch can help you relax and replace the intimacy you once felt with your lover.
- 12After two weeks have passed, practice a little casual dating. You can find dates online or you can get your friends to recommend someone that you might get along with. You do not necessarily have to have sex with anyone, but the experience of being with other people, and the potential of romance, can go a long way towards helping you get over your ex fast.
Tips and Tricks
- Wanting to get over your ex fast does not mean that you are callous or insensitive, it simply means that you are a positive, forward-thinking individual that does not want to waste time in life
- It is quite easy to start romanticizing the past after you have left your partner
- Getting over an ex fast does not mean that you are a player or a loose woman, it simply means that you have made a definitive choice to pursue new relationships without creating a lot of drama
- Do not fall into the trap of thinking that the more you mourn, the more you must have loved him or her, good relationships do not cause months of personal misery or grief
- Don't use food drugs or alcohol to smother your feelings, express your anger and grief by writing your feelings down instead
- Do not have sex with your ex, as that will simply stall
- If your ex-contacts you and asks you to be friends, say no; it can take about five years for feelings about him or her to dissipate
Categories : Relationships
Recent edits by: Eng, Donna