Get Relationship Advice for a Man

Edited by Train Wreck, VisiHow, Eng

If you were looking for advice for women, make sure to check out our article on how to get relationship advice for women.

It's a fact that men benefit from professional relationship advice. Unfortunately, many of them don't ever get that advice. This is because of social stigmas and other barriers to their accessing this type of service or relationship counseling. Some of these barriers include social stigma, denial, prior negative experience, and even cost. While these factors may represent obstacles when considered individually, collectively they present a nearly insurmountable burden to men seeking assistance. To help combat this, we'll explain how they can be harmful, and why they should not be allowed to hinder you from seeking the help and relationship advice that you need. Remember, it really is a different world for men than women when it comes to seeking relationship advice.


Things to Consider

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    While not specific to men, cost is one factor that may prevent someone from seeking out a relationship therapist. This is because the cost of counseling can appear quite expensive. In terms of men, many consider the return on their investment, and aren't happy with what they believe they'll get back. For this reason, it may be helpful to consider your present situation and how it may be affecting your performance or attendance at work. If you are suffering from poor performance or missed work and a loss of income, a little money spent on a professional relationship advice coach or a therapist can help you on your way to recovery. The amount of money you pay a therapist for help getting control of your emotions and getting past this stage in your life could very well be less than the loss suffered from missed income or worse, the loss of your job.
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    Don't let social stigma control your decision-making
    Perhaps more than cost, men specifically have to confront how they are affected by any social stigma attached to men who seek out counseling. In some societies, men are expected to be strong, not show emotion, and resolve problems on their own. Though the pressure to keep emotions bottled up may not be as strong as it once was, a man may still feel some societal pressures and stigmas. That being said, the more a man is surrounded by supportive family, friends, and others, the more likely he is to be encouraged and to in turn seek help if there is a problem. Men may also feel more open to asking for help for issues that they know are shared by other men, and thus seem to be more normal problems for men.
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    Both men and women may initially be in denial about an issue that needs to be addressed by a therapist. However, because of social stigma and the tendency in men to attempt to solve problems themselves, denial may last for a longer period of time in men than in women. The quicker you can move past the feeling of shame for needing help, the quicker you'll move past the process of denial. Most people who've learned to overcome emotional loss know that denial is a common stage of the grieving process. Many people go through when losing someone they love. Unfortunately statistics show that men tend to seek help for relationship troubles much later than women, and much less frequently. Too often, they don't seek help until the relationship has ended. This means that the faster you are able to admit to needing help to deal with whatever issue you are experiencing, the faster you can receive that help and begin to feel better.
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  4. 4
    A prior bad experience does not mean that every experience will be negative
    Maybe you have seen a counselor or therapist in the past. You may have gone even though you felt that you didn't want to, or you may have gone willingly and found that your past therapist did not successfully treat or resolve the existing issue. Viewing all counselors as ineffective, however, will only keep you stuck in your current position. Try to remember that each counselor is different, has a different style of relating to their clients, and may also use different treatment methods. You may simply need to do a bit of research in order to locate a counselor or therapist with an approach and style that will work for you. It's a bit like trying to explain what sort of car you think you are, and trying out different mechanics until you get one that knows how to help fix what's wrong.
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Remember that most couples at some point experience problems within their relationship. Needing help to communicate better and resolve them is not a sign of weakness, as societal norms may have many of us believe. In some cases, counseling and experienced relationship advice can help a couple get their relationship back on track and emerge stronger together.

In other cases, counseling may lead the couple their separate ways. In still more cases, counseling can be a way of helping an individual who has already experienced the dissolution of a relationship recover their own strength and confidence so that they are able to move on in a constructive manner. If you find yourself in a position where you may need the assistance of a relationship therapist or counselor, use this article to help you understand the benefits of relationship advice, and why it's a good idea to seek it out. Don't let fear or embarrassment stop you from getting help resolving your relationship problems.


American Psychological Association

See more articles for men on relationships: Getting Over a Divorce, First Date Tips, and Getting Over a Broken Heart.

If you have problems with any of the steps in this article, please ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.


Article Info

Categories : Relationships

Recent edits by: VisiHow, Train Wreck

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