Ditch an Online Dating First Date Old School (non-tech) vs New School (with apps)
Edited by Donna, Maria Quinney, Eng, Jay
Method 1: Old School (non-tech)
- 1 Why You Must Quickly Ditch An Online Date That Is Not Working Out
- 2 Red Flags To Watch Out For When You Meet Your Online First Date
- 3 Strategies for Ditching An Online First Date
- 4 Fake Call by Simple Design Ltd.
- 5 Fake Call & SMS
- 6 Fake Call by Keladan
- 7 Fake Call & SMS & Call Logs
- 8 Fake Conversation
- 9 Smart Fake Call
- 10 New Message
- 11 Gotta Go!
- 12 Tips and Tricks
- 13 Comments
Why You Must Quickly Ditch An Online Date That Is Not Working Out
If you meet someone online, and then agree to meet him or her in real life, then you need to work out a plan as to how you are going to ditch that person if it is not working out. It is important to get out of the situation as fast as possible simply because:
- Attraction is all about sexual chemistry, and if it is not there when you first meet, then you need to avoid wasting your time and leading the person on
- The longer you pretend to be interested in your online date, the more you will be perceived as a tease or dishonest person, and when the truth is finally found out, the person could express a lot of resentment
- Unnecessary emotional involvement just to be nice is dishonest and exhausting because you are always putting on an act to impress the other person
- The more time that you spend on the first date, the more the other person is going to expect that you owe them a second date or even sex
- You are not obligated to be a people pleaser, and if the other person is mature, they will not be offended that it did not work out because you simply have not had the time together to become attached to each other emotionally
Below we'll discuss both old school (non-tech) and new school ways (with apps) to escape a bad date in a quiet and discreet fashion.
Red Flags To Watch Out For When You Meet Your Online First Date
It is easy to discern, within a few minutes of meeting the person, you met online for the first time, whether or not you should stick with the date or put an exit strategy into practice.
- 1You have absolutely no attraction to this person and in fact, are a bit repulsed within two minutes of meeting for the first thing. This just happens and it happens quite frequently.Advertisement
- 2The person looks nothing like his or her photo online. This is not a good sign because it indicates a person who is both vain and dishonest, and usually this is the type of person who is trying to take advantage of you in some way. Also, when the person looks nothing like they do in their photo, you may not be as attracted to them in person. Another possibility, especially if they look completely different, is that they have appropriated the identity of someone completely different and are intending to commit fraud.Advertisement
- 3The person is dressed very badly in dirty clothes smells or looks greasy. A person who is not paying attention to his or her hygiene, may have depression or other issues that might make it difficult for the two of you to have a relationship. Also, if the person does not care to make a good impression on you on the first date, then they will probably be let their hygiene and manners go even more as the relationship goes on.
- 4The person sits down with you and tells you right away that they have no money and that you will be paying for everything. To test this one, you should agree well before the date, online, that you would each be paying half of the bill for the first meeting. If the person shows up without cash, then do not take it further as they might be looking for someone to take advantage of, rather than a real relationship. Be especially wary of someone who tries to borrow money from you on a first date. The exception to this might be if you are a man, who would like to court the woman on the first date, in which case, it is fine to pay for her. However, if she goes on about having no money at all, needing rent or asking for a loan, it may be a bit of a red flag that you should not proceed.
- 5The person has told you that they are single, but they are wearing a wedding or engagement ring. It is best to leave the association quick if you suspect that they are looking for a lover on the side, as these types of love triangles rarely end well.
- 6The person is glued to their cell phone, for the entire time that you are on the date. If he or she can't give you their full attention, then you have every right to end the date and leave.
- 7The person is very sarcastic or sexist and demeaning you in some way. This type of person could be male or female. You need someone who is able to communicate to you in an emotionally healthy manner for things to work.
- 8The person seems over-attached to you and is moving way too fast, making plans too fast for your future relationship and you have only known each other a couple of minutes. This type of person might be a bit deluded about who you are and may have serious emotional problems.
- 9The person is expecting you to go home with you that night, and seems a bit upset when you tell him or her that it is too soon. The partner that you want for the future is not going to emotionally blackmail you or pressure you for sex ever.
- 10The person is flirting with other people in front of you. This is a sign of a player or a sex addict. They need to have enough respect for you to devote their entire romantic attention to you and only you.
- 11The person sits there and tells you long stories about an ex. This is your first clue that you are about to enter a rebound relationship, in which the focus is never going to be on you, because you are never going to be able to compare to the ex. Even if he or she is talking in a negative way about the past, the person needs to go away and heal or you will always be treated like a therapist or outlet for his or her anger and grief. It is also unpleasant to constantly be compared to an ex, because you will never live up to the memory.
- 12The person is mean to the waiter or waitress. This usually indicates a selfish person who has the potential to embarrass you in public.
- 13Your gut instincts tell you that there is something off about the person. You could feel lied to, suspicious or there could be something threatening about their behavior that simply alarms you.
Strategies for Ditching An Online First Date
Never go on a first date with someone without having an exit strategy of some sort in place, just in case it never works out. Here are some ideas for ditching a date that is not working out.
- 1If you know that it is possibly not going to work out and you see him or her before he or she sees you, then you have the option of turning around at that moment and simply leaving. This may be a better option than sitting through an awkward meeting and save you both from embarrassment and wasting your time. As a courtesy, you could simply text your feeling to the person but it is best if you stand the person up. A stood up person is less likely to follow up and beg you for a second chance, then one who has been contacted
- 2Before you go out on a date, arrange to have a good friend call you at about the 25-minute point. The person will call at the agreed upon time, and you will say, "Excuse me." Then, you will take the call. If the date is going well, you will tell your friend that you are busy and that you will call back later. If the date is not going well, you will pretend that the call is an emergency and excuse yourself. Whether he or she is on to you or not, the date will probably just let you go without protest.
- 3Give a friend and emergency code of just two numbers before you go on the date. This way, if the date is going badly, you can pick up your phone and simply look like you are just turning it off or on or performing some other simple function. However, in reality, you are actually sending your friend the code. That will be your friend's cue to either phone or show up to where you are and pretend there is an emergency so that you can leave. Another excuse that works with this one is that it is your boss that has just called and you now have to go to work.
- 4Suddenly develop the flu and complain about diarrhea and other symptoms. If necessary, excuse yourself to go throw up. This kind of behavior can usually get you out of a bad date because the person will either be disgusted or afraid of catching the bug too. After that you simply let the contact between you lapse and not be responsive online.
- 5If you feel trapped, you can make an excuse, such as having to go to the washroom and then sneak away. This works best if where you are sitting is not in plain view of the exit. It is also a good idea, in this case, to have a friend waiting to pick you up outside. About twenty minutes after you have left, be sure to text the person and tell him or her that you are sorry, and that it is not working out but it is not personal so you left. At this point, an emotionally healthy person will probably just let you go, either to be a good sport or because he or she is a bit put off that you handled things this way.
- 6Act as if you are shopping for a relationship and as if you have a series of interviews with online contenders waiting to meet you, all at scheduled appointments you have made that evening. This way you can say, "Well, I am meeting so and so at 8:00." so I have to go. The reason this works so well is because it takes away from any thoughts that the person might have that they somehow have a commitment from you to see you again or have a relationship. It also sends a message to the person that they are not that special, which should be enough to put him or her off for a while.
- 7While you are on your date, call your mom and ask the date if she or he would like to speak to you. This is odd enough to put most people off because it is too much too soon. Warn mom this might happen before you call her. You can also spend most of the date talking to your mother (or pretending to talk her). This drives people off because they do not associate anyone's parents as being part of any romantic interlude.
- 8If you do not want to talk, but can't comfortably get out of the date somehow, then you can easily avoid interaction by ordering as much food as possible from the menu. Keep eating and refuse to have a conversation, except the food. This should weird your date out enough that he or she asks for the check. Note that this tact might not necessarily work on someone who is a foodie.
- 9Start flirting with other people in front of him or her. This is very offensive, usually, because it hits a person right in the ego. Usually, it makes them leave.
- 10Start talking about your ex and go on and on. If you feel like crying, then go ahead. Whatever you do, make the entire focus of your conversation about your ex. If your date says, "I am going to drink coffee." then point out how your ex used to drink coffee. This is usually a turn-off because people do not generally want to play therapist to a person they want to have a romance with.
- 11Start talking about your dental problems, how many teeth you have that are false and about how much money you have spent on getting them fixed. Talk about the sound of the dentist drill, your bloody spit, and other nasty matter. Most people can't stand this type of conversation and will try to get away from you as soon as they can. Bear in mind here that you are telling him or her all of this because you want to turn the off forever and for good.
- 12Go on and on about your mental health problems, mood swings or history in a 12Step program. Be sure to very critical of whatever he or she orders, especially if it is alcohol. Be as unreasonable as possible and he or she will soon decide on their own that you are no fun.
- 13When all else fails, try honesty, and simply say, "I don't think this is working out." Then you leave. Often the other person has the same sense that you do, and will agree that you are not a good match. If not, you might have to be very kind to him or her as you leave, while at the same time avoiding creating a false hope of some kind. If you sense that the person is equally disinterested in you, then you can also use this as a tactic before you pretend to have an emergency or like you suddenly have a deadline at work to meet.
Method 2: New School (with apps)
If you prefer a briefer and less involved way to remove yourself from an awkward first date, you can use your smartphone and a carefully selected app or two.
The apps we explore below are for receiving fake phone calls and SMS messages. Please remember to test each app before using it in a real-life scenario. You want to be sure the app will perform as you need it to when on the date. When the moment presents itself there can be no fumbling about, everything has to appear as natural and organic as possible, or you better settle in for the long haul.
Please use the following mobile apps responsibly.
Fake Call by Simple Design Ltd.
Fake Call by Simple Design Ltd. is simple yet effective mobile app that just might get you out of an unpleasant situation.
With a real looking call screen and functioning ringtone, users' devices will get a phone call just like a real call.
- 1Type. ProductivityAdvertisement
- Simulates a real looking call screen for major devices, Samsung, Sony, HTC, etc.
- Customize caller ID information including images.
- Create schedules to receive multiple fake calls.
- Free version.
- 4Download/Install. Simple Design's Fake Call app is available on Google Play.
Fake Call & SMS
Fake Call & SMS handles both fake phone calls and fake SMS messages.
Sometimes a call may be inappropriate in your getaway plan, so receiving a fake text message can do the trick just as effectively.
- 1Type. Casual
- Customize the ringtone for your fake calls.
- Fully customizable caller ID and contact image.
- 100% free.
- Free version.
- 4Download/Install. Fake Call & SMS is available on Google Play.
Fake Call by Keladan
Fake Call is another popular app that allows users to schedule fake phone calls in advance for either practical or prank purposes.
Keep it authentic look by using one the in-app avatars or use your images for the contact/caller ID information.
- 1Type. Casual
- Schedule multiple fake calls in advance.
- Customizable incoming call screen.
- Set specific ringtone or simulate vibration mode.
- Free version.
- 4Download/Install. Fake Call by Keladan is available on Google Play.
Fake Call & SMS & Call Logs
In addition to providing fake phone calls, this app will also create fake call logs.
Create new caller ID information or select from your list of existing contacts to use on the call screens.
- 1Type. Personalization
- Fake incoming and outgoing phone calls.
- Incoming/missed calls displayed in the notification area.
- Easily hide the app icon with a one-key shortcut.
- Free version.
- 4Download/Install. Fake Call & SMS & Call Logs is available on Google Play.
Fake Conversation by Dr. Strange App allows iPhone users to setup and receive fake phone calls.
Fake Conversation goes further than the average fake calling app by actually talking to you when you answer the phone. Only repeat the words you hear, and those within earshot will think you're talking to someone.
- 1Type. Entertainment
- Turn an iPod touch into a fake phone.
- Receive fake voicemails.
- Access to an extensive library of excuses, voicemails, and audio scripts.
- In-app purchases ranging from $0.99 - $2.99 per item.
- 4Download/Install. Fake Conversation is available on iTunes.
Smart Fake Call
Smart Fake Call is another mobile app that can get you out of an awkward jam or situation.
As the title of the app suggests; users can pre-schedule multiple fake calls to come in whenever they please.
- 1Type. Entertainment
- Initiate a fake call instantly with a single tap.
- Customize call screens and contact information.
- Supports 15 different languages.
- Free version.
- 4Download/Install. Smart Fake Call is available on iTunes.
New Message by Kobi Snir is designed to receive both fake SMS and email messages.
Similar to most of the apps we've covered; New Message works by setting up schedules in advance. Program your text or email in then decide when you want to receive it.
- 1Type. Entertainment
- Send fake emails without revealing your identity.
- Schedule unlimited fake emails or SMS messages.
- Free version.
- 4Download/Install. New Message is available on iTunes.
Gotta Go generates both fake phone calls and text messages from contacts the user creates or selects.
Write out a few messages, tack on some Emoji and set it as an alarm to go off just like a legitimate SMS message.
- 1Type. Lifestyle
- Receive fake calls from your newly created contact.
- Fake call and message notifications are visible from the lock screen.
- Set multiple alarms in sequence to make it more realistic.
- Free version.
- 4Download/Install. Gotta go! Is available on iTunes.
Meeting someone for a first date that you initially met online can elicit all kinds of emotions. Setting yourself up with a viable exit plan is one way to tone down the nervousness you may be experiencing. If you're confident you can get out of the date with your phone and a little acting, you're more likely to be relaxed. And as such, represent your true self - or you'll save yourself from a potential date from hell.
Tips and Tricks
- Some people, try to make the best of a date that is not working out by making it into some kind of rehearsal for a much better date they might have in the future, however this is a mistake because this is not a rehearsal or the online date you are technically leading hi or her on sexually
- Be aware that many people that do online dating are already aware of some of these exit strategies, especially the phone call from the friend, so be prepared for some rolling of the eyes or a remark, however, this does not mean that you should not leave anyway
- After you ditch an online date you need to follow up by minimizing contact with the person you have rejected, or they will just ask you for a second date
Categories : Dating
Recent edits by: Eng, Maria Quinney, Donna