Deal with a Flirting Husband
Edited by Donna, Maria Quinney, Eng
When Is A Husband's Flirting Okay?
The bottom line when it comes to your man flirting with others is that it has to be okay for you. Some people are simply more flirtatious than others and it can be part of their personality and the main way that they relate to women. However, when you are married to someone, flirting with them can cause feelings of jealousy, emotional insecurity and make them feel like their husband is being disloyal to them. This can be a very subjective experience, but in general, you can be okay with your husband's flirting if:
- 1You know that he is a flirt and that is part of his way of relating to others or due to the way, he was brought up. Some men flirt with everybody, including other men, waitresses, stewardesses, women walking by and it does not mean a thing. Mostly they do it to appear friendly or the center of attention. A man who does this usually has an outgoing personality in the first place.Advertisement
- 2The flirting is done in front of you. Maybe he is doing it to make you a bit jealous, but for the most part, flirting that is being done in front of you is not serious, except in the rare case, where it is done to throw you off the scent. In that scenario, the two people flirt in front of you to take suspicion off of the affair, because they want you to thin that surely if they were having an affair, they would conceal it.Advertisement
- 3Some married men simply want to prove to themselves that they still have it. In this case, the flirting is about exercising a psychological muscle that they have not used in a while and is used to boost their ego. This kind of flirting is more to be expected from men who have been in a relationship with you for a long time. It might be his way of expressing to you that he could use a bit more romance in the relationship. Older men who have less sex also tend to flirt more as a compensation for the lack of sex in their lives.
- 4Some men like to prove they still have it to other men in the room by flirting with as many women as possible. Once again, this has nothing to do with you and is about your man trying to establish himself as the alpha male within a group of other males. However, you might want to rethink the relationship if you actually see him groping women physically or demeaning them to look like a big shot to a group of other men. Flirting like this is actually a form of "locker room behavior."
- 5You already know that this is a form of foreplay for him. Maybe your husband has noted that your lovemaking is more passionate when he has made you a bit jealous. This could lead him to flirt with others in front of you, especially if you truly are the jealous type. In this case, your husband is not only flirting with other women, but he is also flirting with you.
- 6Men who drink a lot or get stoned often tend to flirt with other women, but that does not necessarily they mean they are able to follow through with any of their sexual promises. In this case, the bigger issue might be the addiction, in which case, the person expresses themselves in a distorted way. It is probably best not to take any addict or drunk's behavior personally because it has nothing to do with you and most of the time, they do not recall what they were doing in the first place. If you can find it within you, it is best to break up with an alcoholic, as sex addiction and alcoholism often go hand in hand.
When Does Flirting Become a Sign of Cheating?
Not all flirting is innocent. Here are some signs of flirting that could mean that he is about to cheat or is already cheating with another woman.
- 1You notice that he puts up sexy pictures of himself or posts cute things about his personal life on social media for what seems to be for the general public. This sort of post on Facebook or Instagram might sound like a come one line, but you know it's not for you or he would have sent it privately. However, these photos or memes might actually be meant for someone he is having an affair with. As a general rule, men who are faithful do not flirt with whole crowds of people on social media.Advertisement
- 2You notice that with every post he makes on social media, there is a whole crowd of women, who you do not know, commenting on details about his life or intimate details. This is a sign of emotional infidelity that is quite disrespectful to you because it is allowing other people into the space that is usually reserved for relationships.
- 3When you go to parties together, he is so flirtatious that other people do not seem to even realize that he is with you. He presents himself as single. This is the type of man who might not only be cheating; he might also have several mistresses. People with sex addiction issues will also behave like this because it is important for him to garner a string of lovers to feed the addiction.
- 4A friend mentions a flirtatious episode that happened when you were not around. You might have been in the washroom or somewhere else, and the flirting is then reported to you. This is worrisome because it is secretive behavior that most indicates cheating.
- 5If he is physical with other women when he flirts then he is probably cheating on him. If you see him touching the woman, whispering in her ear or kissing her, then it is time to move on, because even if that does not constitute full sex, it is emotional infidelity. Ultimately you cannot trust a man who behaves like this.
- 6He is flirting by text or email with the same woman all of the time and is defensive about it when you question him. More than one or two texts a day, and you probably have a secret affair on your hands, especially if he is unreasonable and angry when you tell him that emailing her fifteen times a day is inappropriate.
- 7You catch him badmouthing you as he is flirting with another woman. This is a full-on abuse of you and disrespectful to both women and you should immediately consider divorcing this time.
- 8Your friends are telling you that the flirting he is doing is leading to infidelity. You should also listen to your mother, hairdresser, your best friend or anyone else close to you both who is saying that the flirtations are leading to affairs. People who know you well do not tend to want to upset you with tales about cheating and only do it if they are deeply concerned for you.
Tips and Tricks
- If your husband's flirting distresses you, leave him a note about why it has hurt you so much and leave for a week and if he loves you, he will come get you
- If you know that he is flirting too much with one woman and you find yourself mentally making excuses for it every day, then it is time or you to get out of denial and reassess the status of your relationship with him.
- Your husband might be flirting with others because he feels that he is not getting enough attention from you at home and that this is one way of getting.
- If you know that you are a territorial or possessive personality, it may not be a good idea for you to be with a man who flirts all of the time because you will simply be jealous all of the time
- If a husband is flirting with other women to punish you for something or because he is emotionally insecure, then it is time to break up with him
- Be aware that confronting a man about flirting with other women will usually lead to an accusation of jealousy and possibly a big fight
- The man who becomes very angry and defensive about flirting, may indeed be cheating on you
- If the flirting is taking place online, he might be constantly hiding his cell phone from you or shutting down his computer when you come in the room.
- Your idea of what constitutes infidelity might be a lot different than your husband's, especially if the two of you never discussed this issue in the first place
Questions and Answers
Handling flirtatious husband: walk out or giving another chance?
Hi, recently I found out my husband had been going out for dinner with a girl who is his office mate without my knowledge. I also found that he do send flirtatious text messages to the girl. . . I have two children. one 6 years old and another 10 month baby. I feel so sad that what ever my decision is not going to do any good for my children and I'm a bit lost now. should I just walk out from this marriage or should I give him another chance. he seems apologetic now but he had done this many times already. please help me. This flirting is done behind me and my husband is being so secretive. I got to know also from a screenshot that girl shared to me.
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