Deal With Parental Issues
Edited by Debbie, Lynn, Eng, estrella sacragon and 2 others
Why don't my parent's understand me? Is this something you may say to yourself at times? A young guy named Jim, rushed out the door on a Friday night and told his mom and dad not to wait up for him, and his Father yelled to him to remember to be home at 10 o'clock sharp. Jim told him how embarrassing it was to tell his friends who could stay out later, that he had to be home earlier. But his Father would not change the time. Has something similar happened to you? What can you do if your parents and you don't see things in the same way? Could you talk about the problem to them? Your parents may want to talk to you more than you think. Don't give up. If you have a reasonable point to make, they might be willing to hear you out. The secret to success is how you present your case!
Jim is not alone with this 'battle' where children and parents don't seem to meet. In fact, some children out there could even have worse or deeper parental issues. These issues can sometimes affect how they deal with other people and to their environment. Some parents also may not realize that some of the changes they see on their kids are a result of their actions or not doing anything at all.
As parents, you would only want what's best for your children. There are some things though that we tend to overdo. Children should also understand this: parents want you to be responsible and successful adults. If there are some issues that both parties can't comprehend, it must be talked over and find solutions to them.
How to Start Reaching Out to Your Parents
1. Identify the problem. Sit down and think about the problem you and your parent's can't agree on. It will help if you take some notes so you won't be missing anything.
2. Recognize the feeling. Think of a word that describes how your parents stand on the issue makes you feel. Do you feel hurt? Sad? Rebellious?
3. Think as if you are the parent. Just like Jim, you should ask yourself as to what could be the main reason why you want to talk with your parents. Lay your cards on the table and talk about it democratically.
4. Reexamine the issue. What merit can you see in your parent's point of view? What can you do to address their concerns?
5.Give some suggestions. Maybe you can try to make a compromise with your parents. Think of some suggestions that can improve the situation.
6. Talk over the matter with your parents and figure out a solution. Once solution is found, make sure that you live up with it.
7.Be honest with how you feel. You should tell them exactly what you feel about some of the issues you are facing. This way, they would know what to do next time. In return, you should also listen to what they have to say. Remember that parents only want what will be best for you.
Some Possible Reasons for Parental Issues
- 1Children growing up. Children in their teenage years experience a lot of confusion that leads to disagreements and even arguments with their parents. It is the time when they want to more freedom and feel bad when you correct their acts. They get home later than usual, are always out with friends and learn to answer back. Teenagers have hard time determining what their parents' actions are for; are they concerned or just hate to see me have a good time. These are just some of the questions you may ask yourself.Advertisement
- 2Lack of Time. Providing children's materials needs is not enough. The latest gadget cannot replace the presence of parents in a child's life. When parents are away most of the time, children seek attention from outside home. It is not everyday that they meet nice people. They could possibly meet people who might influence them get into a vise and be with the wrong company. Before you know, it is too late. They try to find someone who can give the attention that parents can't give. An open communication is always the key for better family relationships.Advertisement
- 3Individual Differences. Personalities clash even between a child and a parent or parents. The child sees things in a very different point of view of parents.
- 4Failed Expectation. This is especially so for parents who pressure their children to excel in school. When he or she fails, a child gets much scolding, punishment and more pressure. At times, a child cannot take it anymore that he rebels. This is when the conflict arises.
Four Major Conflicts Between Parents and Child
Dominance Conflict. This kind of conflict arises when parental issues are resolved with the use of force or power.
- 1Habit based Conflict. The major factor for the conflict is age gap. The two generations are so different with their habits and trends. The older generation cannot cope up with what is called the X-Gen or the modern generation.
Tips Tricks & Warnings
- Listen to your parents and try to understand their viewpoint.
- Don't talk back.
- Wait until things calm down when you know your parents will be willing to listen.
- Listen to what your child says. Instead of enforcing authority, show some kindness and understanding.
- If you do not know how to deal with the situation, ask for some advice. There are also books which you can consult.