Create a Dating Site Profile for a Shy Guy and Get Responses

Edited by Kathy McGraw, Eng

Online dating is not the realm of the desperate and vulnerable any longer if it ever was. According to a recent Pew Research poll, online dating has become more common than it was 12 years ago, and as more people are trying it, it has lost its stigma. For introverts who dislike meeting people in groups or meeting strangers face-to-face, online dating seems like a great solution and here are some reasons why:

  • You can talk to people from the comfort of you own home without the pressure of meeting them face to face for the first time
  • Talking online of over the phone lends a sense of intimacy that lets you be honest and get to know someone on a deeper level than face to face meetings
  • When the face to face meeting occurs, you aren't meeting a stranger but someone you have already started to get to know.

Let's get started in showing you how you can create an online profile that gets the responses you want.

Choosing a Username

The first thing you're asked to do when you sign up at a dating website is to choose a username. It's how you will be known on that dating website, and it usually cannot be changed, so consider your choice carefully.

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    Avoid cutesy and funny names. While it might be tempting to call yourself something like CantWait4Adate, it trivializes your search for a romantic partner and contradicts the seriousness of your profile. Women are likely to skip you over because they don't think you're serious about starting a relationship with them.
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    Names with sexual overtones are a no-go, as well. Unless all you're after is a quick hook-up, keep sexually suggestive monikers to yourself. Even if all you want is sex, you probably shouldn't use them either, because, frankly, they scream "creeper" to many women.
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    Pick a name that says something about you. Try combining a hobby or a personality trait with your first name. It's simple, to the point, and shows a little of your personality.
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Your Profile Photo

It doesn't matter how brilliantly written your profile is if it doesn't include at least one photo of you. Why? Because women can screen out profiles that don't include at least one photo, and profiles with photos get better response rates than those without them.

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    Avoid "selfies". According to a Zoosk survey, profiles that employ selfies receive a poor response rate. -8 percent, to be exact.
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    Opt for full body shots, as opposed to just your face. Having a full-body shot seems to increase message response rates by 203 percent. Have a friend grab some pictures of you outside if you can.
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    More photos are better. While your profile should have at least one photo to have a decent chance at getting responses, including two or three photos is even better. Try to get pictures of yourself in different lighting and include at least one dynamic shot.
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Your Profile Text

Now comes the hard part: composing your profile's text. Before we get into it, we should say something about your profile's purpose: it should capture women's attention, educate them about who you are, and entice them to respond to your messages. If it doesn't do all three of these things, then you won't get the type of responses you want, and you will join the 80 percent of people for whom online dating is not successful.

Dating Profile Don'ts

These are the things you should avoid when composing your dating profile.

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    Don't list strings of adjectives when you're describing yourself. Words don't resonate with people without giving proper context to them. It's like during a job interview when the interviewer asks you to tell them something about yourself, and you respond with "Well, I'm a hard worker and a self-starter." What do those terms even mean? It's hard to know unless you explain that at your last job, you were the last person out of the door every day and that you had often already started the day's work without your boss having assigned any tasks to you.
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    Avoid grammar errors and spelling mistakes. Nothing is a bigger turnoff than a profile that's full of simple grammar faux pas and spelling errors that you should have caught by giving your profile a once-over before saving it. It shows a sloppiness and lack of care on your part and might make some women view you as less intelligent.
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    Avoid chatspeak, as well. There is no excuse for not typing out full words instead of Internet abbreviations. As with spelling and grammar mistakes, chatspeak makes you seem less intelligent and shows a lack of effort on your part.
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    Steer clear of the generic and clicheé. Don't say that you love long walks on the beach and watching the sun setting over the water unless you do enjoy those things and you can personalize them to YOUR life.
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  • Dating Profile Do's

    These are the things you should do when writing your profile.

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      Tell a story. Rather than writing strings of useless adjectives, pick your most important traits and write a story about your life that showcases those traits. Your story doesn't have to be the most exciting; it simply has to paint a picture of who you are. For instance, if you are a night owl, you might describe how you're up at two in the morning filling out this dating profile. If you love dogs, you might write about the time when your dog ran into a mud puddle, then shook itself all over you, getting you soaked and muddy in the process, and how you just continued on your walk.
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      Use vivid language. You've probably heard of "show, don't tell," a common admonition given to creative writing students. It's much the same for creating a winning profile that makes women want to respond. It means using evocative language to put the reader in the scene. For instance, if you are describing your favorite pastime of walking through the woods near your home, you could write about feeling the bite of the crisp autumn air through your windbreaker, and the sounds the fallen leaves make as you crunch them under your boots.
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      Be specific about what you want out of life. You want a partner to share your life with, so give them a reason to want to do it. There is a woman out there who is just right for you and waiting to discover you. She can only do that if you explain how you see your future. For instance, if you want to quit your job and buy some farmland in Nebraska, mention it.
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      Mention your beliefs and values. In your story, give your readers some details about what you believe and value in life. Remember, specifics always trump generalities, so write about how you serve brunch every Sunday after church service rather than stating that you're religious.
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      Create a hook. A hook is something that entices the reader to take the next step, which in the case of a dating profile, is to message you or respond to a message you have sent. Try something like giving them a snippet of a story about yourself and asking them to contact you to hear the rest of it.
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    Traits to Look For a Good Match

    Now that we've covered how to create a profile that will get responses, it's time to turn to what traits you should look for in women for the best compatibility. After all, you're looking for a woman with whom you have a chance of a great future.

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      Look for women whose profiles show similar interests to yours. You will be most compatible with women who like doing the things you like to do. For instance, if you think that watching Star Trek reruns on Netflix is fun, then your best bet is to look for women who mention loving Star Trek in their profiles.
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      Opt for women who are homebodies. When you read through women's profiles, prefer those who mention hobbies that they do or that can be done around the house. Avoid women who mention that they like to party every weekend.
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      Search for women who value the same things you do. You can't go wrong with a woman who shares your values. You can't form a deep connection with a woman unless she thinks the same things are important as you.For instance, if you're frugal, then find a woman who understands the value of a dollar.
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    If you have problems with any of the steps in this article, please ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.

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    Article Info

    Categories : Relationships

    Recent edits by: Kathy McGraw

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