Break Off a Relationship
Edited by Debbie, Lynn, Eng, Rob and 3 others
You have been dating for a year. At first, you said to yourself that he or she was the one. But now you are having second thoughts about things. Should you just ignore it? How can you know if you should break up? Ignoring danger signs in a relationship is like ignoring warning signals on your car's dashboard. The problem will not go away, and it might get worse. What are some of the bad signs in a relationship you don't want to avoid?
- 1Things are moving too fast. Trouble can occur when things are moving too quickly. Emailing, talking online, and on the phone can be more powerful than face to face because you can get way too personal fast. Don't rob yourself of the chance to get to know each other. A courtship should not be like a weed that sprouts up fast and then withers. It should be like a precious plant that takes time to grow.Advertisement
- 2He's Critical and Belittling. Does he or she always say mean things to you, treating you badly?Advertisement
- 3He's Got a Temper. When you have arguments, does he shove or hit you?
- 4Being Secretive. Does he not want others to know you are dating? There may be legitimate reasons for a couple to want some privacy, but if it is always a secret than that can spell out trouble.
- 5Your Relationship is On and Off. This could indicate that problems need to be discussed. To keep breaking up with the same person can cause much heartache.
- 6Pressuring For Sex. If you love me, you'll do it. Don't ruin a relationship before you get to know someone, and have plans to marry.
- 7Others have Warned You About Him. You shouldn't ignore what your family and friends think. They love you, and are concerned.
Those are some signs that trouble is brewing. Does your significant other fit into any of those categories? If so, you might want to rethink things.
How to Breakup
- 1Be Courageous. Don't be afraid to leave him. Stand up for yourself and what is right. It helps you to set firm boundaries as to what you will and won't tolerate in dating, and later on in marriage.Advertisement
- 2Be Fair. Think about how you would want to be approached in the situation if it was you.
- 3Chooses the Right Setting. Should you talk in person, or over the phone? Should you write a letter? It would depend on the circumstances.
- 4Speak Truthfully. Tell the truth as to why you feel the relationship shouldn't go on. If you feel that you are not being treated properly, say so.
- 5Be willing to Listen. Is there something you misunderstood about the situation? Don't allow yourself to be controlled by clever words, but be reasonable and think about all the facts.
Tips Tricks & Warnings
- Don't Feel Sorry For Yourself.
- Keep Socializing.
- Don't let others know about the breakup before your boyfriend.
Questions and Answers
Should I stick to not calling? or should I call him?
I have been in a relationship for 11months, I started to feel that the normal relationship development has not improved the way I want (meet my mother) and sometimes I feel he is hiding me! We hardly go out because he is tired after work (he works long hours and have a second job) and on the weekends he wants to spend some time cooking, cleaning, and he always say he's busy so I'm just not happy with this. I explained that to him and he understand where I come from and he'd do one or two things and go back to the usual. I explained that to him and and he has not been considerate when I told him in going to start a diet and join a gym! I haven't called him nor he did call since then.
The state that you have described often happens when men are jaded from working 12-16 hours a day and not having even a spare moment for their better halves, not to mention their hobbies. In order for him to start a diet and go to a gymnasium, he needs at least 4-5 hours every other day devoted to himself, and he might not afford that to earn enough to live. The worst thing is that if he stops working extra hours, he will not get enough money to eat or pay for the rent; and that will drive him into a deeper depression. If that is the case, then you must consider that the weekends are the only free hours he gets for himself: if you are going to tolerate his relaxing his mind and body from work at home during the weekends, then do call him! If you are not going to cope with the situation, then let him sort his things out in his life (maybe he will find a better job), and then he will call you.
You can also read our article on getting relationship advice.
Categories : Heartbreak
Recent edits by: Dougie, Jacop, Rob