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Get a Man to Put More Effort Into a Relationship

Edited by AZC, Maria Quinney, Keitherrs

Questions and Answers

3 years in and something feels wrong. How do I get his attention?

HI he committed to do some things for me last week that we needed to work on together. I said let's meet. Then he called me the next evening was not sure of his schedule and he'd call me back. He never did. I had a really bad dream that night a premonition of things going wrong. I wrote him and said I can't sleep, no response. As the issues were work related I tried to reach him a day later. No response. Finally Friday, he called apologized said he'd had issues, but thanks for doing the work he thought it was great, started to tell me about some of his problems and then I overrode him with mine which was selfish. I said yeah no worries me too, and then he said he had to go and I stupidly texted afterward "let's meet I'll help make your problems feel better" to which I got no response, I was feeling hmmm so I texted again later. No response. He did send me some work suggestions the next day, but nothing, absolutely nothing private. He likes other people stuff on Facebook, but with me, he is totally silent. We've been "friends" for 3 years now and in the last 3 weeks, it's been a little like that. All over me in private, but the minute I am gone barely acknowledging me not calling/writing. I don't understand because like last weekend he called me to go out I said sure, we had an awesome time together and now he is just gone and I don't know how to repair my needy emotions of the weekend and get back control and I still want to say his behavior is not OK though. I am so confused. Help.

It sounds like he feels conflicted with you. He may not know whether to start a relationship with you or end the friendship. He also could just have been caught up in the moment when he was physical with you and now regrets it or is feeling embarrassed. Stop chasing him down. Perhaps he has started to see someone and not sure how to tell you. Either way, it is best if you move on. If he contacts you to hang out, don't cancel any plans you already have previously made. As for work, you want to stay professional. Speak with him when necessary and that is it.

Is my boyfriend just stressed or not interested anymore?

I recently met a guy 5 months ago as a friends with benefits situation, we had an instant connection and started hanging out more and more he would take me out to eat and do things and he even paid for us to go on holiday, he eventually asked me to be his girlfriend about a month and a half after meeting which I said yes after a month of being together he then admitted to me that he was going to become homeless, I wasn't able to let him stay with me for family reasons however I put us in hotels and let him sleep in my car for a month and a half before he was able to get his own place again. During this period he got very depressed and very stressed trying to find a place to live and a job, we still stayed together as I wanted to be there for him and we were still very close. During this time he admitted to me he wasn't sure what he wanted but he didn't want to break up so we just carried on as normal, about a month after him moving into his new place we had an argument which he admitted that he still didn't know what he wanted at which point I left him because I didn't want to be with someone who wasn't sure if they wanted to be with me, he told me he's very stressed and felt guilty as we both agreed when we first met that we didn't want a relationship however we ended up in one. Obviously I was heartbroken but I stuck to my decision we did talk a little bit and met up a few times as friends and then about 2 weeks after we split he turned around and said he's enjoyed his space but he is missing me and that he is currently so stressed out but he wants us to start seeing each other again, I agreed as I was interested to see where things went and we had a really good couple weeks we would meet up and have a great time like it felt in the beginning but over text he felt very cold and withdrawn still. After a while I feel like he's not making much of an effort to see or speak to me anymore I feel like I am doing all the communicating even though I'm holding back, I confronted him about it and asked what was up and he said everything is fine he still wants us to be seeing each other he still wants to see me he has just been busy the last couple of days, I don't know if I'm over reacting about this or not he's lost 2 jobs due to cutting staff as well as becoming homeless and having to sort himself out and battle depression am I going insane or is he just not committed to me anymore?

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Is my boyfriend stressed out or just no longer interested in me?

I recently met a guy 5 months ago as a friends with benefits situation, we had an instant connection and started hanging out more and more he would take me out to eat and do things and he even paid for us to go on holiday, he eventually asked me to be his girlfriend about a month and a half after meeting which I said yes after a month of being together he then admitted to me that he was going to become homeless, I wasn't able to let him stay with me for family reasons however I put us in hotels and let him sleep in my car for a month and a half before he was able to get his own place again. During this period he got very depressed and very stressed trying to find a place to live and a job, we still stayed together as I wanted to be there for him and we were still very close. During this time he admitted to me he wasn't sure what he wanted but he didn't want to break up so we just carried on as normal, about a month after him moving into his new place we had an argument which he admitted that he still didn't know what he wanted at which point I left him because I didn't want to be with someone who wasn't sure if they wanted to be with me, he told me he's very stressed and felt guilty as we both agreed when we first met that we didn't want a relationship however we ended up in one. Obviously I was heartbroken but I stuck to my decision we did talk a little bit and met up a few times as friends and then about 2 weeks after we split he turned around and said he's enjoyed his space but he is missing me and that he is currently so stressed out but he wants us to start seeing each other again, I agreed as I was interested to see where things went and we had a really good couple weeks we would meet up and have a great time like it felt in the beginning but over text he felt very cold and withdrawn still. After a while I feel like he's not making much of an effort to see or speak to me anymore I feel like I am doing all the communicating even though I'm holding back, I confronted him about it and asked what was up and he said everything is fine he still wants us to be seeing each other he still wants to see me he has just been busy the last couple of days however when I said do you want to meet up he said yes but he Hasn't made any plans to see me and normally waits until last minuet , I don't know if I'm over reacting about this or not he's lost 2 jobs due to cutting staff as well as becoming homeless and having to sort himself out and battle depression am I going insane or is he just not committed to me anymore?

VisiHow QnA. This section is not written yet. Want to join in? Click EDIT to write this answer.

Is my boyfriend just stressed or has he lost interest?

I recently met a guy 5 months ago as a friends with benefits situation, we had an instant connection and started hanging out more and more he would take me out to eat and do things and he even paid for us to go on holiday, he eventually asked me to be his girlfriend about a month and a half after meeting which I said yes after a month of being together he then admitted to me that he was going to become homeless, I wasn't able to let him stay with me for family reasons however I put us in hotels and let him sleep in my car for a month and a half before he was able to get his own place again. During this period he got very depressed and very stressed trying to find a place to live and a job, we still stayed together as I wanted to be there for him and we were still very close. During this time he admitted to me he wasn't sure what he wanted but he didn't want to break up so we just carried on as normal, about a month after him moving into his new place we had an argument which he admitted that he still didn't know what he wanted at which point I left him because I didn't want to be with someone who wasn't sure if they wanted to be with me, he told me he's very stressed and felt guilty as we both agreed when we first met that we didn't want a relationship however we ended up in one he also mentioned that he can't give me what I deserve and he wants to and that he wants to be able to provide for me but can't as he had no job and no house at the time. Obviously I was heartbroken but I stuck to my decision we did talk a little bit and met up a few times as friends and then about 2 weeks after we split he turned around and said he's enjoyed his space but he is missing me and that he is currently so stressed out but he wants us to start seeing each other again, I agreed as I was interested to see where things went and we had a really good couple weeks we would meet up and have a great time like it felt in the beginning but over text he felt very cold and withdrawn still. After a while I feel like he's not making much of an effort to see or speak to me anymore I feel like I am doing all the communicating even though I'm holding back, I confronted him about it and asked what was up and he said everything is fine he still wants us to be seeing each other he still wants to see me he has just been busy the last couple of days I mentioned about meeting up and he said yeah definitely but has not given me a set date and it can be last minute to meet up sometimes, I don't know if I'm over reacting about this or not he's lost 2 jobs due to cutting staff as well as becoming homeless and having to sort himself out and battle depression am I going insane or is he just not committed to me anymore?

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Get a Man to Put More Effort Into a Relationship

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Categories : Relationships

Recent edits by: Maria Quinney, AZC

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