Edited by Jrzielke, Hafsa TALEB EL HOUDA, Eng, Bhavin Patel and 3 others
1 Questions and Answers
- 1.1 I screwed a girl's feelings whom I just know for 2 days. I want to say sorry because I hurt her feelings by shutting her off. I'm going to send her message?
- 1.2 What should I do, I really do not want to lose her?
- 1.3 I need to know how much space/time is appropriate when trying to gain forgiveness?
- 2 Comments
Questions and Answers
I screwed a girl's feelings whom I just know for 2 days. I want to say sorry because I hurt her feelings by shutting her off. I'm going to send her message?
We were in the getting to know each other stage. I contacted her and she accepted me. In the process of getting to know each other, she was like taking me for granted and dominating me by insulting. She used words like Kiddo and grow up when I was very professional to her. My last communication was about her past 9 year unsuccessful relationship which she did not want to share. The conversation went on as below: She Said: you keep digging my past and I knew very well. When you was questioning me earlier .. in 9 years of relationship many things could have happened ? you repeated the same question twice to me .. and I divert it and answered you in a different angle... Sorry .. I think it is better for us to stop things here. because I want to forget my past and start a new life .. but you won't let me I guess.... My reply to her was:. Noted, I don't wish to be your revenge victim for your past relationship. at some point in your life, you have to believe and trust men. not all but then one whom truly cares for you. Even this level of advice can be adopted by certain girls who deserved that love and care which experience them in life. I understand your past 9 years of experience and "kiddo like me" do have experience those moments. some r even worst. Anyway I do not wish to prolong this message as you are a grown up girl I believe you know how to deal with it as you love yourself, life and you direct them whichever way you wants it to be.. well so again with no single regret it is over and I am out. Thank god he brought me to light this soon. So happy & the relives after hearing your last message to was unexplained. Anyway, I think you deserve thanks and best wishes. . . after this she deleted me from her WhatsApp and took me off from her Facebook. . . what shall I do now to patch back? She is working as a nurse at the Middle East but originally from Malaysia . and I am in Malaysia. please advise what is the correct thing for me to do?
Wow did you insult her with your reply message?. This was not the way to go about asking for history in previous relationships. In reality, it is none of your business because you were not in that relationship with her. If you want her back, send her a message that you realize you were wrong and it was your insecurity of possibly losing her that drove you to that line of questioning. In regret, you lost her with the questions and want to be the person with her when she starts her new life.
Kiddo is a term of endearment. If it bothered you or made you feel insecure, you should have said something nicely. Instead, you threw it in her face with your reply message. Judging by your insecurity, you may need to work on some things emotionally to get in the place that she is. Let her know that you are working on that to be the man that she deserves.
What should I do, I really do not want to lose her?
I have lied to my girlfriend about my ex who has been contacting me on the phone and my girlfriend saw the message and now she said its over but I really do not want to lose her. she even blocked me on her phone now, I really love her, and I want to send her a message asking for forgiveness but she still does not want to hear anything from me. I really want to gain her trust but the fact that she forgave me twice, now she said she does not want me anymore. should I give her some space or should I keep pushing until she agrees?
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I need to know how much space/time is appropriate when trying to gain forgiveness?
My ex and I have broken up and I was making huge steps toward getting her back but last night I let my emotions get the best of me. She made accusations about a missing piece of jewelry that I did not take. She said that if it did not return, she would leave for good. I cannot return something I do not have and that is probably lost. I tried to have conversation with her but she was not responsive. I needed to know how serious she was about leaving and what we were going to do with all the things we need to take care of if she does leave. She said she did not want to talk about it and said she would pack up now and leave. I told her if that is what she felt she needed to do even though it was not what I wanted, she could. I just wanted to give some space and time if that what was needed. She started grabbing stuff and I grabbed things she uses that are mine and she flipped out. Cell phone and extra car keys. She did not end up leaving but has said some very hurtful things. I know that the things came out in the heat of the moment and she does not mean the things she says. I need to know even if this is very bad, how long do I give her before I start asking for forgiveness and trying to reconcile.
Fights like this can be very damaging. At the point she threatened to leave, she was hoping you would either admit that you took the necklace or beg her to stay. She feels insecurity and distrust with you and is exhibiting these feelings by making such a huge deal about the necklace.You need to address the root of all the distrust with her to resolve this issue. For the insecurity, it is best to beg her to stay no matter what. Give her some sense of permanence with you.
Taking her phone and car keys (that are yours) was not the way to go about the fight. Although they rightfully are yours, you further broke her trust in you. This VisiHow article Rebuild Trust in a Relationship explains how to make her feel more secure. It will take time but you may be able to get through to her faster if you apologize for making her feel insecure with your relationship.
Categories : Relationships
Recent edits by: Maria, hammoudi, Bhavin Patel