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Know Your Boyfriend Is Not over His Ex Yet

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Was I just a rebound? feeling confused and hurt right now?

My partner and I have been together for 8 months now his ex cheated on him whilst in prison. 6 months ago he got caught messaging her on Facebook stating he misses her and wants to meet up. she also felt the same way. we ended up in a big argument that night said he only wanted to talk to her nothing else pretty much making up excuses. cause he got snapped. that arrangement did not take place cause I stopped it. just a few hours ago he told me while we were having an argument he said he was actually going back to his ex that night with his gears cause I stopped him it didn't happen. it hurts me a lot hearing it also made me feel he was only using me. I told him why tell me now should had said it that night not months down the track. Now I don't know what to do, I don't think I can trust him again. what to do?. I have tried: Every time I spoke about it he always got angry when I mention his ex name or anything that is got to do with her. . I think it was caused by: I don't know to be honest. I had done a big clothing shopping for him got him what he wanted and I we was having a really good day.

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There were unresolved feelings between your boyfriend and his ex. Unfortunately she cheated on him while he was in prison, confinement meant that he could not process properly what happened. Being in a cell with no other distractions other than the monotony of daily prison life, puts everything that happens under a microscope almost like an obsession.

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Here are some signs that you are in a rebound relationship:

  1. 1
    If you bring the ex's name up they go into defensive mode because they still feel that they possess the other person's heart or the ex possesses his heart. The phrase " I can talk bad about my family but if anyone else does that...watch out!" is exactly what happens in a rebound relationship. They still deeply care for the ex and are unwilling to let anyone else bad mouth them. Talking about their ex brings up hurtful feelings of loss and deep regret as well.
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  2. 2
    Testing Waters.
    They will message the ex on social media or through texting to express that they miss the ex or are thinking about them. Trying to reconnect with the ex this way means that the rebound relationship is second choice and nothing but security that they will not be alone if the ex rebuffs their advances.
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  3. 3
    Emotionally Closed.
    Rebound relationships are often one sided. One person is in a relationship while the other person is still holding a place for their ex in their heart. The communication and dates can seem great but there is something missing emotionally. This is because they are unwilling to completely involve themselves in a relationship that is not with their ex. Often we confuse sexual desire with emotional feelings, especially as females so we do not see that there is no "love" in the relationship until it is too late and we are head over heels and they are not.
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  4. 4
    No Closure.
    When a relationship ends abruptly because of cheating, the person was not ready for the break up and although they feel abandoned by their ex the break up was not discussed full and mutually decided upon. Unresolved feelings can last for years when there is no closure. The "what if" is always in the background of the rebound relationship.
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The fact that you had an argument and your boyfriend responded with he is going to his ex's is a sign that his ex is still his comfort place unconsciously. Like your favorite blanket or stuffed animal when you were a child. This does not mean that he will go to her. He is most likely extremely confused. What he said was extremely hurtful but he was defensively lashing out in the heat of the argument. The only thing you can do is support him emotionally and give him time to come to the reality that a relationship with his ex is not going to happen. Do not bring up the ex or make him feel that you are watching him 24/7. Trust has been broken for you so this will be hard to do. What you have to do is let go and hope that on his own he figures out that he wants you. If you force him to stay, eventually he can end up resenting you or you resenting him. If he chooses his ex, it really does not mean that you were not good enough or that you did something wrong. Usually relationships that begin again with an ex, end again when the reality hits that there was a reason that the original relationship ended.

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He forgot my birthday, however he remembered his ex's then girlfriend's birthday months ago?

He forgot my birthday, however he remembered his ex's then girlfriend's birthday months ago. There is still his status posted on his Facebook about what should he get for her birthday he posted that a month before his ex's birthday. I feel like I am not special. Is he not serious about me? We are in a long distance relationship since a year. I talk to his mother occasional. We talk all day long. We might be getting married soon as well, after he passes his Bar Exam.. I have tried: I am super nice to him. Even he is mad I am always calm and sweet.. I think it was caused by: Maybe he is a player

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Does my Ex of 6 years still not over me?

Hi, my ex of 6 years still blames me for not giving him a chance after he cheated with his co-worker and I rebounded to another guy. We were college sweethearts and were living together and supposed to get married before I discovered the affair. After 4 months of him begging, he discovered I'm dating another guy which really hurt his ego and thinks I have took revenge. Now, he is still very bitter towards me and trash talks me to his family and friends and his new girlfriend. It has been his 2nd relationship since we broke up 6 months ago. I admitted that I still have feelings for him but we have hurt each other too much. Did he already move on with his current girlfriend? He said after all the pain he experienced from me, he wants to get married soon. Please help. I want to get over him. I have tried: I had been into dating another guy. Took new hobby and traveled for soul searching. I think it was caused by: I initially couldn't forgive him when he cheated firsthand

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Know Your Boyfriend Is Not over His Ex Yet


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Recent edits by: war1606, Maria, Eng

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