Use Flattery to Attract a Man
Edited by Donna, Alma, Eng
Ways to Use Flattery and Compliments to Attract A Man
There is no surer way to get a man's attention than to give him a compliment. Flattery is one of the fastest ways to open up the possibility of further conversation between you. However, the way you use flattery and what you say is very important, or you could sound insincere or even sarcastic. In order to make a great impression, your compliment must sound genuine, meaningful and like you truly are his biggest fan. This works because most men like to feel that they are admired by the opposite sex. Flattery appeals to their ego and makes feel appreciated and like you consider their attention to be an award.
- 1If you know who he is, but he does not know you, you can do a bit of research about his life before you approach him with a compliment.Go online and do some research about his life using research tools and social media such as Google, Facebook, and Twitter. Find out what matters to this person in life and what his interests and achievements are. For instance, if he is a fisherman, you can start a conversation by saying something like, "Hi, I saw your fishing picture on Facebook. I used to go fishing with my brother at the lake as a kid, but we never caught a fish as big as the one you caught. You must be an ace sportsman?" If he has won an award for poetry, you can say, "Hi, I just wanted to introduce myself to you as one of your greatest fans. I even know one of your poems off by heart." However, before you use that last tactic, make sure that you actually do know one of his poems by heart. It is always very important that you can back your compliment up with some sense of authenticity.Advertisement
- 2If you spot him in a room and do not know him, then eavesdrop a bit on the conversations around him or even ask a mutual friend, who he is or what his accomplishments are.If you manage to get some information, then you can approach him and say something like, "I hear you were recently promoted to acting Fire Chief. Congratulations. I think that firefighters like you are bravest among all humans. I also hear firemen are great chefs? Do you cook too?" This opens up the conversation to a talk about his cooking skills or lack of them or even to inquire whether or not you are a good cook.Advertisement
- 3If you have absolutely no information at all about the man you would like to approach, then try to note something about his appearance or demeanor or that you could compliment.Is he wearing a great tie, expensive watch or great pair of shoes? Compliment him on that. For instance, you could say something like, "Only a man who appreciates the value of what's timeless could be wearing a great watch like that." This opens up the conversation to a possible discussion about the history of the watch, or where he got it, in which case, you should constantly refer to the fact that he has excellent taste, or even better, a taste that is very similar to your own. This approach not only compliments him, but also gives him the idea that the two of you may be compatible. Another approach would be to compliment him on what he is drinking, such as "I see you have excellent taste in Scotch."
- 4Eavesdrop on his conversation to see if there is a way you can approach him afterward and flatter him about the way he handled it.It is best to wait until the conversation he is having with someone else is over before you do this. Then you step in, a few moments after and say something like, "I really admire the way you handled that debate with your friend just now. Not too many people communicate as clearly and succinctly as you do." Then, introduce yourself. This opens up the conversation to be about communication, and you will notice that he will talk to you just to prove that he does indeed have those excellent conversational skills you have mentioned.
- 5Once you are in conversation with him, compare him to somebody you know that is a role model for him.For instance, you can say something like, "I hear you are a very ecologically-minded person, who is outspoken about the pollution of huge corporations. In fact, the way you talk remind d a little bit of the writings of Noam Chomsky." This attracts him to you because it makes him feel like "you get him" in ways that other women don't. It also lets him know that you have put him on a pedestal, which is very appealing to the male ego.
- 6Once you are in conversation with him, compliment him by mentioning a possible opportunity that he should follow up on.A good example would be, "Your work with disabled individuals is so unique, I really think you should write a book about your experiences. Nobody talks about your profession in quite the way you do." This opens up the conversation because he will more than likely thank you, and more than probably tell you that he has always wanted to write a book.
- 7Once you are in conversation with him, describe a big vision or dream you have for his future.An example would be, "You are such a charismatic public speaker and so gifted and good looking. I sincerely think that you should pursue an acting career on the big screen."
- 8When in conversation with him, make your compliments as specific as possible is recommended, because statements that are imprecise can sound insincere.For instance, it is much better to say, "I really love the physical strategy you used to beat your friend on the squash court the other day.", rather than "I love a man who has muscles." The first phrasing of the compliment makes him sound more unique, whereas the second one sounds like one you could make to just about anyone.
- 9When in conversation with him, never use the reverse compliment, which expresses doubt first and then surprise at his accomplishment.An example would be "Wow, I never thought a guy like you, who doesn't even have a high school degree, could become such a whiz at international finance. How is that possible?" Instead say something like, "Kudos or you for becoming one of the most sought after financial advisors in the world in such a short time." This then opens up the conversation for him to thank you, and most likely start talking about himself.
- 10Gage where his personal boundaries are as best you can and try to phrase your compliments so that they do not sound invasive.Some men are very shy or humble and actually find women who praise them to be too informal. You have to gage, intuitively, whether or not he is going to find your compliments to be embarrassing or humiliating. An example would be, "Wow you were once married to that poor little rich girl. There must be something to you to score a wealthy woman like that!" A much better compliment would be, "I hear that you have raised two lovely children and that the eldest was accepted into theater school. Congratulations on raising such a talented young man."
- 11Make your compliments about what he is doing or wearing, and not about his body.There are some men, like body-builders, that appreciate a comment about their muscles but most men are quite secretly embarrassed when a woman mentions their hair, hands or any other part of their anatomy. That is because it is a bit intimate and also a bit motherly to say something like, "I really like your mustache." or "I like the way your veins stand out on your hands." Most men want you to be less personal and admire them from afar at first.
- 12Make sure that whatever you are complimenting him on is something that you actually believe is worth a compliment.Most men have strong radar on them that can detect hypocrisy. So if you privately think hunters are killers and he is a hunter, then do not compliment him on his hobby, or he may pick up on your insincerity. Also, consider that lying about a compliment can lead to a situation in which you constantly have to keep up the charade throughout any relationship that you might decide to have and that the truth will come out sooner or later.
- 13If he confesses a dream or ambition to you, then shower him with praise or encouragement.Tell him how smart you think he is and that you are sure he can succeed. Men love women who are cheerleaders and are more likely to ask a supportive, positive individual as their date. Never point out any flaws you see in his plans, as men are not attracted to women who express doubts about them.
- 14Never miss an opportunity to compliment him on just about anything he is doing and keep the compliments coming.For instance, if the two of you are in a car, say something like "Wow, you are a great driver." If he is ordering wine in a restaurant, tell him he would have made a great sommelier. The idea is to keep lavishing praise on him until he gets that you are the one for him.
- 15Never give him a misleading or fake compliment.For instance, if he is wearing an awful tie, do not tell him how much you love it, because if someone else points out how awful it is then he is going to wonder why you were so insincere with him in the first place.
- 16If the compliment is a conversation opener, make sure you know enough about the topic to follow up on it.For instance, do not compliment him about his latest political analysis of the economic situation in South Africa if you know nothing about economics or South Africa. Your compliments will sound more genuine if you can follow up with a conversation that includes a true exchange of opinion and information. That being said, you should always make him out to be the authority on any topic you should choose to discuss.Advertisement
Tips and Tricks
- Lean a bit physically closer to him as you compliment him, as this gives him the message that he is special to you and that the conversation is a bit more intimate
- Use a lilting, softer tone of voice when you compliment a man to help convey your absolute sincerity about what you are saying
- Look him in the eye and give him a warm smile as you are delivering the compliment
- It is permissible to lightly touch his forearm or upper arm to get his attention so that you can talk to him
- Once you have delivered the compliment, do not expect one in return, as many men are too busy thinking about the fact that they got one at all to reciprocate
- Never text a compliment to a man as that comes off as being very desperate or tacky, always do it in person
- If you continue to compliment your new male friend throughout your relationship, you will earn his loyalty
- Be aware that many men will automatically deflect your compliment and not immediately do so because they were brought up to be humble
- If he ignores you or outright rejects your compliment with a demeaning comment such as "What do you know about it?" then move along as a man who does not answer is either very rude or truly not wanting to have a single thing to do with you
- If you are not familiar with how to compliment a man, you can always practice a bit at home in front of a mirror and record yourself to see if you sound genuine
- Practice your complimenting and flattery skills by complimenting everyone you meet in some way, so that it comes naturally to you as a secondary conversational skill
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Categories : Romantic
Recent edits by: Alma, Donna