Try To Be Forgiving

Edited by Debbie, Charmed, Nate Pepperell, Eng and 4 others

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"I'll never forgive you!" or "I'll never forget what you did!" How many of us have heard that, or said it ourselves? It can be hard on us emotionally when we get into an argument with a good friend or someone we love. If they are mad and don't want to talk with us, it can hurt. Being unforgiving can lead to stress, and even illness. We have to remember that there will be a time that we make the wrong decisions. Haven't we ever done or said something to hurt someone's feelings? One reason we should be forgiving, is because we are in need for God's forgiveness. The bible says at Romans 3:23 we all sin, and fall short". What are some steps we can take to try to be forgiving? Forgiving is something that not all people are capable of doing depending on the situation that they find themselves in. Forgiving can be linked to anger and other forms of depression for it can bring a person down by holding on to certain things as baggage in their everyday lives. It has been said that it is easier to forgive than to carry the anger that was brought on by another person. Below are ways that forgiving can in fact help better your health and other aspects of your life by just letting go of the grudge you have against a person.

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Things To Consider

When you have not forgiven someone, it is important to look at the way that it not only affects you but also how it affects the person who you have not forgiven. By not forgiving others, you tend to treat them a different way due to the fact that you haven't forgiven them. You might not even notice your true actions towards them. When we, as people, do not forgive people, we often give them a hard time that we do not fully notice our actions. Below are some things that you will need to consider about the person you have not forgiven in terms of whether or not you are treating them in a bad way.

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  1. 1
    Take a step back and analyze if your lack of forgiveness is causing any issues like fear, discomfort and even harm.
    When you are holding on to anger for a person, you will sometimes do things that can harm them because your angry. It is important that you do not carry this anger for you may even cause harm instead.
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  2. 2
    Notice if you are allowing your anger to affect the relationship between the person.
    If you are, then this is not good because you never know if you are going to need this person's help later in the future.
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  3. 3
    Do not allow your anger to affect a good relationship that you had with the person.
    If you are holding on to anger, it is a good idea to just let it go.
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  4. 4
    Do not believe that you have to like the person, but you still can forgive and respect that person from now on making things easier than holding on to it.
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  5. 5
    If the person is a known enemy, understand that the best thing you can do is continue happily throughout life and even in their presence.
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  6. 6
    Do not allow the anger to spoil your time or bring you down in life for an enemy can sense that and feed off of your unhappiness.
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  7. 7
    Do not try to get even with the person because that can in fact cause a constant battle between you and them continuing the anger/rage in your life to continue to be present in your life.
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  8. 8
    Do your best to turn that anger into something positive rather than letting in run its evil course in your life.
    Take the negative that the enemy/person has brought into your life and turn it into something positive or this is a good strategy to never allow negative things to get you down for so long in life promoting positive thinking and resolution in your life.
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  9. 9
    Understand that bad things will happen to everyone and not only you for even the most successful people in the world go through times where they are anger or mistreated.
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  10. 10
    Take your time to see all the good things that have come from something bad happening to you in your life.
    By taking notes on certain things that have happened to you negatively and reading all the positive things that have come out if it will allow you to view bad things as a good outcome when it enters your life.
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  11. 11
    Think of all the good things that have come out of break up (if this is something that you are going through) so that you can assess the situation better when going through your current situation.
    Not all bad things come from a break up for it may open up your life to new things that you can accomplish and new things to learn.
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  12. 12
    When going through a low point in your life it is recommended that you look for help from others around you whether they are family, friends or co workers.
    This will allow you to have help in your time of need which can be a positive back up with going through a bad time in life.
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  13. 13
    Do not allow this non forgiveness to run your life into a bad direction but instead allow it to take you to a positive way instead.
    Be understanding to yourself and how not forgiving can in fact ruin your life.
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  14. 14
    Take into consideration that your ability to not forgive the person is in fact a way to stay tied to that person in emotion and also spirit.
    By forgiving someone you will be untying yourself from the person emotionally thus allowing yourself to get baggage that you are carrying off of your shoulders.
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  15. 15
    Understand that by forgiving you are helping yourself more than the other person in the scenario.
    Forgiving will be more helpful to you and not the other person whom is in the situation. A lot of people mix this up by thinking that forgiving is actually helping the other person more but in fact you will be helping yourself in the situation.
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  16. 16
    By forgiving them you are not saying that whatever they have done is actually good or being accepted by you but in fact you are just terminating the negative energy between you and the other person.
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  17. 17
    Use the situation that has happened in order to save yourself from being hurt or in the same situation in the future in order to avoid the returning of the situation that you have found yourself in currently.
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  18. 18
    In order to help yourself get over the situation that the person has put you in do your best to not repeat the story or incident for this can in fact remind you of the hurt or disappointment of the situation.
    In order to heal properly you have to do your best to put the situation behind you but by talking about it you are allowing it to enter your thoughts once again which does not help the situation.
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  19. 19
    If you sometimes get a memory or thought about the person send them good wishes or do something nice in order for you to turn that anger into something positive.
    The term is "killing them with kindness' which basically means that you are showing them kindness rather than being mean which can anger or confuse your enemy even more that acting on revenge when it comes to the particular person in question.
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  20. 20
    Understand that people make mistakes for you have more than likely done something to harm someone else so put yourself in that persons shoes.
    By placing yourself in their shoes you will gain a perspective that maybe you can forgive them for you would want someone to forgive you as well in certain situations.
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  21. 21
    Think of how you hold on to this baggage while others go on with their life being happy while you are stuck behind angry.
    At times people will not even remember or think about the situation at all but instead you are allowing it to bring you down in your everyday life.
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Benefits of Being Forgiving

  • Forgiving others promotes good relations
  • Forgiveness brings about peace.
  • Forgiving others, clears the way for our sins to be forgiven by God. "If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly father, will also forgive you" Matthew 6:14


  • Try to remember times you have hurt people and been forgiven.
  • Go to the person and talk the situation over. Try to think positive things about the person.
  • Apologize(be the bigger person, even if its not your fault) try to make peace.
  • If you have problems with any of these steps, ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.


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Article Info

Categories : Relationships

Recent edits by: Anonymous, Mrmammoth, Ephraim

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