Tell if Your Wife Is Cheating or Having an Affair

Edited by Train Wreck, Eng, VisiHow

If you were looking for advice for women, make sure to check out our article on how to tell if your husband is cheating or having an affair.

Lately, you've had a feeling or even a suspicion that something isn't quite right in your relationship with your wife. You've tried to forget it, but you can't. Could she be cheating? Has she been acting differently? Are you fighting over nothing? Is she finding reasons to push you away, or using a new chat system that you don't have? In this article, we will discuss some of the signs that your wife may, in fact, be cheating on you. We will also discuss some of the reasons why she might have an affair. We will also help you figure out what you should do if you suspect that an affair is taking place.

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Why Your Wife Might Have an Affair

There are about as many reasons for having an affair as there are people who have affairs. Here, we will review three of these reasons. People who cheat may cite one reason, or even multiple reasons why they decided to seek satisfaction outside of their marriages. At VisiHow, we do not condone having an affair, but realize that it may be important for you to know some of these reasons so that if you recognize them in your own relationship, you can take some action to repair them, such as talking to your spouse about getting relationship counseling.

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  1. 1
    The marriage lacks physical or emotional intimacy.
    A wife who feels a lack of physical affection or emotional connection or validation from their partner does run a risk of entering into an affair. Feeling respected, valued, and appreciated are just as important in a marriage as a physical connection. If a spouse is not getting her needs met within the marriage, it is possible that she could begin to look outside the marriage.
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  2. 2
    Your wife is curious or desires more excitement or new experiences.
    While difficult to predict or measure, an article in "Psychology Today" does cite the desire for someone or something new as a reason provided for entering into an affair. The magazine research states that, beyond curiosity, people who gave this reason for entering into an affair were seeking more of a challenge and more excitement.
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  3. 3
    Your wife suffers from low self-esteem or loneliness.
    A wife that suffers from low self-esteem and spends a lot of time feeling lonely can develop an attraction to someone who enters the picture showing interest and showering her with complements. This reason could be closely related to the first reason, because in such a marriage, the woman may not be emotionally satisfied.
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There are many other reasons people cite for entering into an affair. We've listed only a few. Now that you know some of these reasons, let's discuss some of the signs that your wife is cheating. Remember that as each couple is different, these signs may or may not mean that your spouse is actually having an affair.

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Signs Your Wife is Cheating

  1. 1
    Unusual behavior.
    People are typically creatures of habit, so it's likely that your wife has developed a particular pattern of behavior over time. Perhaps your wife has suddenly stopped wearing her wedding ring for no apparent reason when she always wore it before. Perhaps she has started to return home from work either unusually early or unusually late without a good explanation, there may be something wrong.
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  2. 2
    Electronic clues and secrecy.
    Mobile and electronic communications have brought with them many benefits and also many drawbacks. One of the drawbacks is the ease with which people can cheat on their partners. Is your spouse suddenly spending an unusual amount of time preoccupied with electronic devices, especially at odd times? There may be cases in which this behavior can be completely normal; however, a sudden shift in behavior might signal that something is happening. Additionally, if your spouse is no longer as open with you as she once was and doesn't feel the need to share details about even daily events, there could be cause for concern.
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  3. 3
    Sudden change in or preoccupation with appearance.
    Has your wife recently made dramatic changes to her wardrobe, hair style, or general appearance? Is she getting dressed up more than usual to run regular errands? Did she join a gym and begin an exercise program, despite previously hating the thought of it? A sudden change in physical appearance and hygiene habits that can't be explained may signal that there is someone else filling in for you.
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  4. 4
    Increased distance.
    Increased physical or emotional distance may signal that your spouse is seeking satisfaction and validation outside the marriage. If she are no longer showing you physical affection, working longer hours or otherwise avoiding interacting with you, or else suddenly displaying a greater amount of independence than they did previously, they may be involved with someone else.
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What You do if you Suspect a Cheating Wife

If you only have a feeling that she may be cheating, it's important not to accuse her of cheating. At this point, you likely have no solid evidence, so it could only be possible that she is cheating. Of course, it could be something entirely different. At this stage, it will be far better to carefully discuss things with her.

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  1. 1
    Decide what you want before you talk to her.
    Before you engage your wife in a discussion or confrontation; however, it's important to know what you want to gain from the encounter as well as your own feelings about next steps for your relationship.
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  2. 2
    Give specific examples that upset you.
    Approach her gently to ask if everything is okay and give specific examples of behaviors that have caused you some concern.
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  3. 3
    Present any evidence you have.
    If you have concrete evidence, you may be able to approach her in a more assertive manner with the evidence ready.
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  4. 4
    This can be a very difficult and emotionally charged conversation to have, and you may not want to do it alone. Seeking the help of a relationship counselor that can act as a mediator could be helpful. If she doesn't agree to relationship counseling, then speaking with a counselor on your own could help you sort out your feelings and give you some additional tips on actions you may take at this stage.
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Additional Considerations

After an affair has been discovered, trust has been lost in the relationship. Repairing the relationship and moving forward will take patience and a lot of hard work from both spouses. Whether or not you are able to remain in your marriage depends largely on your relationship with your wife and how committed both of you are to staying together and making the marriage work. You may also wish to check out our other relationship article on how to survive an internet affair and repair your relationship for tips on what you may need to do to restore trust, but we do recommend at this stage that you and your wife make an appointment with a relationship or marriage counselor who can help you as you decide how to proceed.

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See more articles for men on relationships: Finding Ring Sizes for Her, Making Your Marriage Work, Write an Apology Letter to Your Girlfriend, Signs That Your Marriage Is Over, Sending Morning SMS Messages, Telling If Your Wife Hates You, Telling If Your Wife Loves You, Getting Over a Divorce, First Date Tips, Getting Relationship Advice, Getting Over a Broken Heart, Know if Your Wife Likes Another Man, Write an Apology Letter to Your Wife, and Survive an Internet Affair and Repair Your Relationship.

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Categories : Suspicions

Recent edits by: Eng, Train Wreck

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