Tell if Your Boyfriend Is Obsessed with You
Edited by Ermin, Lynn, Eng, Christine Carol Ansing and 13 others
A relationship with a bit of jealousy and maybe a bit too much caring seems so sweet. It indicates that your relationship is genuine and not just a game. Does the relationship feel stronger if you have a jealous boyfriend? This jealousy may make it seem that he really loves you so very much and, you may conclude that whatever happens, he will always be there for you. But, what if he is overly jealous about everything? At the beginning of your relationship, when he was always with you -wherever you were because that's what he promised you, it was charming. Now, you might feel he seems obsessed with you and overly possessive. Too much of this kind of behavior can destroy a beautiful relationship. It isn't pleasant to be with an overly jealous boyfriend, anyway. To know if your boyfriend is obsessed with you, you may want to read the warning signs below:
- 1Everywhere you go, from your office or home to shopping malls, he always texts you and calls you to ask, "Where are you now? Who's with you? What time will you be home?" These questions are OK, but if they are asked repeatedly whenever you go anywhere, is can be extremely annoying. Your boyfriend may be obsessed with you. He is likely afraid that you may be meeting up with other guys, which is why he keeps phoning you.He is texting and phoning you constantly.Advertisement
- 2If you give your boyfriend the password for your Facebook, be warned, he may change it and lurk through your Facebook friends' pages, and even un-friend some of your male friends. Often, he will message those guys who are strangers to him. If these are something you've already had happened in your relationship, there is a 100% chance your boyfriend is obsessed with you and controlling. The two qualities are not mutually exclusive.He asks for the passwords to your social networking sites - Facebook, Twitter, etc., or any other sites that help you communicate with your friends and family despite the distance.Advertisement
- 3Even though the location of your workplace or school is far from his place, he is always there to meet you. This may seem sweet the first, second, maybe third time it happens, but if he does this every day, it can quickly become annoying. It's OK if he is there once in a while, maybe he was in the neighborhood, but if it feels as if he's there to check up on you, and make sure you aren't with someone else, then he is obsessed with you.He is always waiting for you outside the office when you finish work, or outside the school, if you are in class.
- 4He called you on your cell earlier and asked what time you'd be home. And you told him you'd be home late, so he didn't need to wait for you. He agreed...and yet there he is, waiting for you anyway. This is very annoying and unnerving. Although you do not ask him to come over to your place, he does...often. He is indeed obsessed with you.He is waiting outside your house for you to arrive home.
- 5I won't ever leave you. I am yours until death do us part. "He says things like, "I love you so much.
Many men may make these kinds of promises, but not all men respect their promises - or vows. If you've noticed that your boyfriend is fulfilling this promise, then you should be happy. But if he takes these promises a bit too seriously, if he overdoes everything, then it becomes a different issue. Some men, when they really fall in love with their girlfriends, can be quite possessive. He may be proud that you are his girl, but to some extent, he will do things that can hurt you, because he becomes selfish. It's all about HIM. You are HIS girlfriend. He may do things because he thinks they will keep you with him. This is NOT what love should be like! If your boyfriend is indeed like this, he does not really love you. He loves that you love him. He loves that you belong to him. This is what he thinks, and his biggest fear - yes, fear, is that you will leave him. Ironically, it's the very things he does to keep you, that will inevitably make you want to leave him.
- 1In some cases, when obsessed boyfriends get overly jealous, they will beat up the guys they are jealous of, or at the very least, threaten them. Be careful if you have an obsessed boyfriend, as he can be cruel if you provoke him, especially when it's about other guys. Having an obsessed boyfriend seriously diminishes your circle of friends.He assaults guys you've talked with.
- 2Maybe you do not know that your boyfriend is stalking you. There are situations in which obsessed boyfriends become stalkers as well, as it's part of obsessive behavior. You might not know this, but you may be wondering why sometimes your boyfriend knows what you were doing and where you are going. He is obsessed with you.He keeps showing up wherever you are.
- 3This sounds strange, but then most of the actions of an obsessed boyfriend can be categorized as strange. Without you being remotely aware, someone around you may be your boyfriend's spy. This is, however, less likely, as men who exhibit this obsessive behavior, usually don't trust anyone.He might ask someone to keep an eye on you.
- 4The worst thing is when you've had enough of your boyfriend's attitude, and you decide to break up with him, but he does not agree with your decision. Because he believes he loves you to the moon and back, he will do anything to make you stay with him, even if this means forever. He may say, "I will hunt you down even if you find someone new." This is a threat! "If you leave me, wait and see what I can do." This is a threat! "If I can't have you, no one will!" This is a major threat, and every threat needs to be taken seriously! Anything approaching any of these things, and he is not only obsessed with you, but there is a potential for his behavior to escalate.He threatens you if you try to break up with him.
- 5This is when you must be on your guard. Of the 4000 women murdered each year by their spouses/boyfriends in the USA, 75% are murdered when they are trying to leave, or have just left the relationship. If he's threatened your safety, or your family's safety, report it to the police. If he's been physically abusive to you, report it to the police. If you've already made a police report concerning him, and down the road, you need to apply for a restraining order from him, it will be easier. Obsession is a mental disorder, and nothing to be treated lightly.You've broken up with him, and he will not accept the breakup.
- 6You may have to spend a bit of money and make some changes in your life. Consider changing passwords, especially if you've given him your password to anything in the past. You might want to change your phone number, and also your email. Try staying away from him without totally pissing him off. Don't talk about him on social media. Don't leave him nasty messages or emails. Do save any messages or emails that are the least bit threatening in a safe place. Do be very careful.You've broken up with him, and he won't leave you alone.
- 1 How about for long distance relationship? How would I know if my boyfriend is obsessed with me?
- 2 Tips & Warnings
- 3 Questions and Answers
- 3.1 Signs a friend is obsessed with you.
- 3.2 Is it normal to be obsessed with your boyfriend while you're in a long distance relationship?
- 3.3 Is my boyfriend obsessed with me?
- 3.4 Is it obsession if someone tells you they love you every minute?
- 3.5 How to tell if someone is obsessed with you on Facebook?
- 3.6 I broke up with my boyfriend and he started observing my every move. He even looked up someone I was dating. Is this obsessive behavior?
- 3.7 Is he dangerous? Should I be concerned for my safety?
- 3.8 My boyfriend is overly protective. What should I do?
- 3.9 I recently got in touch with a boyfriend from 24 years ago. He says he's still in love with me. Is that possible?
- 3.10 First off all, is there any payment required?
- 3.11 Is a little bit obsession healthy in a relationship?
- 3.12 Is he going to be controlling?
- 3.13 He keeps asking me the names of the guys I work with, or who are in my neighborhood. He wants to know what time I get home or checks this out himself. He also wants to know my programs, and he keeps showing up at work - randomly.
- 3.14 Should I leave him or am I just overreacting?
- 3.15 How can I convince him not to do crazy things to me?
- 3.16 What is going on with my boyfriend and I? One minute he dumps me, and the next he loves me like crazy and calls me his girl. I'm lost!
- 3.17 When is it too much harassment, and time to call the police?
- 4 Comments
How about for long distance relationship? How would I know if my boyfriend is obsessed with me?
Regarding long-distance relationship: If your boyfriend is abroad and working hard for your future, you are indeed very lucky. But, if your boyfriend is obsessed with you while he is abroad, it might be a big problem in your relationship. Although there is an advantage to being so far from him while he continually inquires about your whereabouts, there is no way of getting out of an argument started by your boyfriend. Due to the today's technologies, your boyfriend can still reach you by your mobile phone and then suddenly start a fight with you, no matter where you are. You might be with your friends, drinking and enjoying yourself, and suddenly, you're in the middle of a pub having a phone fight with your boyfriend about where you are, and who you're with. Initially, his interest in you is sweet. He's not even in the same country with you, and he shows you more love and interest than your ex did. But when his interest in you becomes more like an obsession with you, you might as well talk to right away, and explain his actions make you uncomfortable, and you aren't happy with the way the relationship is progressing. Below are additional warning signs that your boyfriend abroad is obsessed with you:
- 1He is always 'available' on Messenger, or calls you frequently on the video calling software. For example, if you are using Skype to talk with him, he is always online, always available. This is true of Facebook, phone, and any other social media, whether it's through his phone or Laptop. This feels as if he is checking up on you. When he gets home, he will start to message you that he just came home. If you aren't online or don't respond quickly, he will get angry. If you aren't online, he may call you on your phone, even if it's expensive to call. He will call you because he has to know where you are, and not interested in how your day has been. You may be sick, and so not online, but that doesn't occur to this man. He's more concerned that you're out with people and doing things he is not privy to.He is always online on Skype or other video-calling software, which both of you use, to talk with each other.
- 2These guys might be your friends or just acquaintances. He keeps reminding you not to hang out with them, as you are no longer single. He will also add that if you hang out with guys, he will emotionally blackmail you, saying he won't be able to do his job because he will be distracted - thinking about you hanging out with other guys.He keeps reminding you about other guys in your life and becomes jealous when he talks about them.
- 3You might not know this, but he is thinking of you all the time. At work, he cannot concentrate, because in his mind. Your name, your smile, your voice, the scent of you, and your face are all he's thinking about when he isn't wondering what you are doing, and with whom you are doing it. If you've heard your boyfriend things like, he can't get you out of his mind, you might feel flattered by this, but at the same time, you should be worried, because he may be obsessed with you.He keeps thinking of you.Advertisement
Obsessive love may seem like a heavenly phrase, however, due to his obsession with you, your boyfriend could hurt you physically and emotionally. You may be happy to know that he is obsessed with you. However, you should be careful, as his obsession will cause problems with your once peaceful and precious relationship. If your boyfriend is overly jealous and possessive, you should be aware of the circumstances, as your relationship continues. The circumstances might evolve to be nothing that you are looking for in a relationship.
Tips & Warnings
- If you have an obsessed boyfriend, you should talk to him about the things that annoy and bother you. It will not help the situation if you approach him angry and flustered. Wait until you are calm, be direct; speak to him slowly and calmly. This may help him understand that what he is doing is not right, and not working. Some things can be resolved by talking about problems honestly. Some cannot.
- If his obsession is not normal, you and your boyfriend may want to go see a mental health professional. He may have some mental issues that are associated with his obsession. Or he may be using drugs, so that is why he is hallucinating or delusional. If he loves you, then he should be willing to get treated mentally and emotionally. That being said, it is likely an obsessed person sees nothing wrong with their behavior and will resist any kind of psychological help. You may want to suggest you both go to 'couples therapy', in an attempt to get him help.
- If the above information occurs in your current relationship, then you should be careful about yourself and your family. An overly jealous and obsessive boyfriend can hurt someone who is important to you. This is because they are blinded by obsessive love and selfishness.
Questions and Answers
Signs a friend is obsessed with you.
Here are some signs a friend is obsessed with you:
- If your friend is easily jealous. If you are talking to someone and your friend is easily jealous, there are chances that friend of yours is obsessed with you. If this friend keeps on saying negative things about people you hang out with, it might be a sign your friend is jealous, and/or wants you to themselves, and/or is obsessed with you.
- If your friend buys you things you've mentioned you like or want. If your friend is constantly doing things like that seem thoughtful and kind, it may be more than that. It may be that this friend is obsessed with you. Normally, a friend would be interested in what you want, but they'd let you purchase it on your own. An obsessed friend will just buy it to make you notice him/her, or because they feel it's their right to do so.
- If your friend always agrees with you, regardless of whether or not you're right, this friend is more concerned with pleasing you and making you happy. There is a good chance that friend of yours might be obsessed with you.
- If your friend keeps on following you; when you go to the library, your friend is also there. If you go to the café, your friend is there. In short, your friend is following you, which, given social media, is a very easy thing to do. Take it as a warning sign that your friend may be obsessed with you.
- If your friend automatically grants your request. Doesn't matter if it's a simple request or something that will be difficult to accomplish, your friend will never say no and will find a way to make it happen. This might include purchasing things for you, doing you favors, running errands, etc. Please do not take advantage of the miss-directed love of someone obsessed. It will, in the long run, not work in your favor.
- If your friend keeps messaging you, or keeps liking/commenting on every comment you make on Facebook, and every picture you post, sends you private messages, tags you in things you don't need to be tagged in, they are trying to impose an intimacy with you that actually isn't there. This is a good indication your friend is obsessed with you.
If you notice one or more signs in your friend and you find it annoying, confront your friend and tell your friend that this is a problem for you. Be calm, but direct. Have this conversation as soon as possible. The longer someone is obsessed, the deeper the obsession goes. That being said, just having the conversation won't end their obsession, although it might calm the behavior. Just know that it's not a cure for something that is a mental disorder. People who are obsessed do not usually handle these talks well, so being focused and calm is important.
An obvious sign that someone is obsessed with you is they need to be around you as much as possible. This is considered obsessive behavior, and the reasons they never want you out of their sight are a bit scary. When this happens it's very difficult for them to be away from you without constantly calling, messaging, tweeting and checking up on you.
This friend who may be obsessed with you, might not be interested in you romantically. Some of the situations where obsessive behavior exists are:
- Boyfriend/Girlfriend which has been discussed here.
- Ex-Boyfriend/Girlfriend. There was intimacy, and the ex-partner feels you were their soul mate, and you are star-crossed lovers, and this kind of obsession is dangerous, as they all are, because this person will do anything to get the ex back. Many relationships have been destroyed by an obsessive ex trying to get the 'love of their life' back.
- A Friend. This is often someone who is more obsessed with being you, just like you, copying your style, collecting your friends. She/he wants to be you. Although perhaps not as potentially dangerous as the situations already mentioned, it is no less disturbing.
- The New Girlfriend's/Boyfriend's Ex. This one is really common. You start a relationship with a new man, and it's his ex-girlfriend who is stalking you, obsessed with you. Likewise, you may be the ex, and his new girlfriend is obsessed with you because you had him, you were with him for a long time, you know his family, he knows yours, you went to exotic places together - all these things may make the new girlfriend insecure, especially if you are still friends with her man. This kind of insecurity can easily turn into an obsession, especially if she poached him from you, as their relationship is based on shaky ground.
Is it normal to be obsessed with your boyfriend while you're in a long distance relationship?
Yes, it is normal to be obsessed with your boyfriend while in a long distance relationship because you love him and you don't even know what is going on with him, and know little about his life there.
- You love your boyfriend since it is a long distance relationship, you will use any social networking sites to communicate with him, search or keep looking at his profile to know what he is doing.
- You don't even know what is going on with his life there and you don't know who are the people near your boyfriend or close to him since your boyfriend is far from you. So you are going to keep on watching him through social networking sites and keep on calling him.
But being super obsessed is not good. If you keep on messaging him, like his posts, comments, call him every hour and message those people who are near to your boyfriend, it will really annoy your boyfriend. Just stay calm and be an understanding, lovable girlfriend. Just remember that have to trust your boyfriend, just as he trusts you. If he really loves you, he will find a way just to contact you. Just be patient.
Yes, this is very normal being that the two parties are so far from each other, and maintaining the relationship will require a lot of communication in order to bridge the gap of the distance that is between both people.
See more questions like this: How to make your boyfriend obsessed with you in a long distance relationship
Is my boyfriend obsessed with me?
He stays close and asks where I go and who I am with. He doesn't let me talk to men. He wants to spend all his time with me, calls me and calls me, and never wants to let me out his sight.
Yes, he is being obsessive, as well as control in your relationship. The fact that he does not want you out of his sight is an indication of his obsession with you. The fact that he will not 'let' you talk to any men is a sign of him being controlling of your life. No one, especially the person who claims to love you, should tell you NOT to do something. It is not their right.
Is it obsession if someone tells you they love you every minute?
Yes, they will proclaim their love over and over again to you simply because they feel the need to tell you to make you understand them. This is a sign this person is obsessed with you. Let them know you feel uncomfortable with the situation, to give them an opportunity to change their behavior, and improve your relationship.
How to tell if someone is obsessed with you on Facebook?
Whenever a person likes all of your photos, statuses and also sends you messages over and over again without you replying - the person may be obsessed with you
I broke up with my boyfriend and he started observing my every move. He even looked up someone I was dating. Is this obsessive behavior?
He has been passing by my house to see if my car is there. Has even looked up a person I was dating.
If you feel that you are being stalked, you are probably right, especially if you cannot think of a reason why he might be passing by your house every day. If he's looking up the guy you're currently dating, there is a very slim chance your house just happens to be on his way to work, or anywhere. Trust your instincts. He is probably obsessed with you. All you can do is investigate this a little further and get some facts before you start thinking that is behavior is about you and if it is about you, you can send him a strong message by registered letter to please leave you alone. Be careful, and be on your guard. This is never a situation to be taken lightly.
Is he dangerous? Should I be concerned for my safety?
I have been seeing my boyfriend for a year. He lives 200 miles away so he comes to my house every other weekend and stays all weekend. For a long time, he has been very jealous. If I talk to anyone on the phone or in person, if my Ex drops my son off and I talk to him on the doorstep, he goes into a childish mood and says I am wrong to have a conversation with him. He has a 'shrine' to me, which is a collection of photos of me, and the teddy I bought him. He sent me a 12-minute DVD of photos of me. My Mom was ill in hospital, and if I wasn't back in the house when he thought I should be. He didn't believe I was with her and thought I was off seeing someone else, even phoning my daughter and questioning her. When I tried to finish it with him, he said he would not live without me and begged me to take him back. I felt so dreadful I gave in. Then he promised he would get counseling to address his jealous behavior. I recently found out he has been stalking my Ex boyfriends via his Facebook page. He's an Ex of nearly 2 years, and we have no contact at all. When my Ex changed his Facebook relationship status, he invented a story that a cousin of his had sent him a message saying she had become upset with her husband and moody as she had seen her Ex was in a relationship. He was so angry and irritated on the phone. I explained that she may just been annoyed that he is happy, while she is not, but he kept this going for 3 days. Amid all this, he constantly tells me how beautiful I am. I become friends with an old friend who was a Parachute Regiment Soldier. I worked with them for 6 years. The next day my boyfriend sent me a message saying he wished he had joined the Parachute Regiment years ago, and loved me even though he is short. What? He isn't even excessively short. When I challenged him over parachute comment, he admitted he checks everyone I become friends with. When he arrived that weekend, he was in a terrible mood. We were sitting on the sofa holding hands. I gave his hand a gentle squeeze, and he crushed mine. Then he snapped out of it, saying he was sorry when I said I was annoyed, but then got annoyed with me for being so upset and he went to bed. The next day he had told me I had made him feel very unwelcome. All weekend was snappy and moody. I then challenged him over the lie he told me, regarding the conversation he had with his cousin, and he admitted that he had lied and that it never took place and he had said it to see my reaction. It was then that I got an awful feeling that if I tried to break it off then and there, he would actually harm me, so I avoided doing it as my children were home. After he had gone home, I told him I needed time as he had broken my trust and hurt me. He texted and rang constantly, he also sent a nice text saying he understands his behavior was terrible and I am under enough stress with the trial. My Mom was in the hospital after hit and run accident, which she might die as a result of her injuries. The driver of the car is being sentenced on Friday. He then tells me he trusts me, just not other men, and becomes very jealous if I speak to anyone, especially other men. Am I right to feel alarmed
You are absolutely justified to be worried and alarmed. The behavior of your boyfriend, his jealousy is not normal in any relationship. You have children and it is understandable that you did not want to end the relationship with the children present, however, it would be advisable to end the relationship before his next weekend stay. No one deserves to basically feel like a prisoner within their relationship.
Make a safety plan just in case he does not leave you alone. Inform your employer, friends, family, childcare and school providers that you are experiencing a harassing situation. Pack a bag for you and your children that you can grab quickly if you need to leave. Change your door locks. Have the number for your local Women's Shelter handy just in case you need to seek refuge for a time there. Adjust your habits for a time. Don't take the same route to work and home everyday. Have a co-worker walk from your office to your car with you. Create a panic word and teach it to your children as well as let trusted people in your life know the word so if you are speaking to them on the phone, and you use that word, they know you are in trouble and to contact authorities immediately.
Inform the kid's school. Change phone/passwords/email. I'm afraid for you, as this feels like a very bad situation. Check if there is a stalking law where you live, and if there is, and if you feel he's stalking you, report him. All it takes is one report to the authorities, for them to take any further call or complaint seriously. I think you've known for some time that you were in a dangerous situation, and have been too afraid to take action. It's understandable. Now, you must take every precaution you can to keep you, and your family safe from this man, who might easily become a serious threat.
My boyfriend is overly protective. What should I do?
I'm 16 and so is he. We have been dating for 5 months, and he already asked me to marry him.
At 16, you should not be making major commitments of marriage. You both can certainly make plans for the future but nothing concrete until much later. You both are young and still learning how to be in a relationship so perhaps speak with him about his overprotective behavior. Let him know that while you are still interested in dating him, his behavior is not reasonable. If it makes you feel afraid, you need to talk to your Mom or a friend about it.
I recently got in touch with a boyfriend from 24 years ago. He says he's still in love with me. Is that possible?
A boyfriend from 24 years ago. Just got in touch with him and he says he is still in love with me. He calls me constantly. What is this?
If you truly love someone, length of time apart does not change the way you fee. It is absolutely possible that he has harbored feelings for you this long. Social media has connected many people that were high school sweethearts. Some have not seen each other in more than 40 years, yet after the loss of their previous spouses, have reached out to each other and are happily in love. If you are interested in him then try to reconnect with him. You never know but he may be your happy ending after all these years apart. On the other hand, if you are specifically reading and posting in an article dealing with obsession, you may have a problem developing, and if you aren't that into him, perhaps ending it now, will avoid issues in the future. You are the only one who knows how uncomfortable this situation is for you.
First off all, is there any payment required?
I've started to ignore this guy and now he's constantly watching everything I'm doing.
In a situation like this, you can try to change your seat in class or at work. Stop hanging out socially where he does also. Perhaps let him know that his staring at you is irritating you and you want it to stop. It is quite possible that what he is doing is harmless and he is staring at you without even realizing he is doing it.
Is a little bit obsession healthy in a relationship?
I know my man is obsessed with me. He becomes very tense seeing me talking with other guys. He even likes my best guy friend a little less. But that's it. He is not dangerously obsessed with me. And I don't have problems with that.
If you do not feel threatened with his jealousy then it is fine. He may have some trust issues, but over time, he should realize that you can be trusted. It can be a natural behavior to tense up when you see a threat. With your boyfriend, it's most likely a involuntary reflex to be tense when you are talking to other guys because he feels threatened or insecure about your relationship. However, you are reading an article about obsession, so be careful.
Is he going to be controlling?
I am seeing a guy right now. Actually, he is my manager at work. Everything is going really nice. We are texting everyday all the time, but something worried me today. While I was working he left, and I was online writing to someone on WhatsApp. Suddenly, he texts me asking, "Are you having a break?" And I reply, "Why?" Then he said, "I wondered, since I noticed you were online!" Is he going to be dominant and obsessed?
Here is why it is not recommended to date your boss. The text sounds to me more like a question a boss would ask. If you are going to continue to date him, you both need to have an agreement that when you are at work there is no "us". You need to keep the line between boss and boyfriend clear. His text shows no indications of dominance or obsession, except the question of where he went, and what he had to do in order to know you were online, and only you can answer those questions.
He keeps asking me the names of the guys I work with, or who are in my neighborhood. He wants to know what time I get home or checks this out himself. He also wants to know my programs, and he keeps showing up at work - randomly.
I have tried: I was so transparent with him, like telling him every detail of my life. I think it was caused by: His friends are interested in me, also he reacts whenever a guy or a girl thinks I am sexy
Speak with him about trust issues. Explain to him that you can be trusted and he is not your parent so there is no need for the constant updates on what, where and how throughout your day. If his showing up at work, this will cause problems with your employer, and you need to inform him that although you love seeing him, this is unacceptable, and your employer has requested that he not visit unless invited.
Should I leave him or am I just overreacting?
I have a problem with my current boyfriend. I've been with him for about two months now and I feel that he is coming on too strong. He recently told me that he loves me and always wants to spend time with me. At some point, I told him I needed my space because he was here all day everyday and I had to do chores around the house and my schoolwork. He didn't like the idea that I wanted space, but still respected it. For about two weeks I have kept him at a distance, because he disrespected me and I haven't been the same since. He keeps asking and pressuring me to tell him if I feel something for him, and I don't know what to do. I told him how he disrespected me and he didn't seem to care. What should I do? I'm afraid to break up with him due to the fact that he lives a house away from me.
It sounds like you are young so perhaps suggest to him that you start over as friends and if it grows into something more then you will be back in a relationship. Use your age as the excuse if you need to. Truth is, you are probably too young for any serious commitment in the first place.
But if you are afraid he might be the least bit dangerous, talk to a parent or a friend, and be careful. The fact that you've come here to read about obsession, means you are already worried.
How can I convince him not to do crazy things to me?
I decided to break up with him because I was fed up with all his behavior and irritation; on and on for 8 years. He cannot change. Now he is threatening to create a scandal in my work. He wants to destroy me. What should I do?
You could try speaking to him in a public place with a friend present, even if they are sitting at another table but within hearing distance. Point out that you will not allow him to respond to the break up the way he has been. Ask him to treat you respectfully as a way of honoring all the years that you were together. Perhaps he just needs a final closure to the relationship and will start to leave you alone.
Get proof of his threats, and then get a Protective Order from your local legal justice system if he will not stop. He does not have the right to interfere with your employment. Threats should be treated seriously in terms of bodily harm or destruction of personal property, or sabotaging your career. Sadly you were together for 8 years and he seems to not be adjusting to the change of your relationship status.
What is going on with my boyfriend and I? One minute he dumps me, and the next he loves me like crazy and calls me his girl. I'm lost!
My boyfriend is 14 years older than I am. He constantly thinks I am cheating on him and talking to other guys and accuses me all the time when I've done nothing wrong. He fits almost all the signs of an emotional abuser. He thinks I recently cheated on him, which I didn't, and he keeps going back and forth with "We're through!" "Good bye!" There and many other hurtful names and words he used, and then he turns around like nothing has happened, and wants to hang out, and is very affectionate, etc. I am lost to what is going on but it is killing me! Last month has been back and forth - every day. What should I do? I do love him and feel like I can't be without him but I also can't handle his moods.
Sometimes you can love a person yet can't be in a happy relationship with them. The back and forth is not stable. No one wants to be in a situation of instability all the time. Sounds like it will be up to you for the final break up decision. Stick to the decision and do not get brought back into his up and down moods. Has he ever sought help? A Counselor? Been diagnosed with bio-polar?
When is it too much harassment, and time to call the police?
He gave me a computer for Christmas. The other day he came over with some of my mail that went to his P.O. Box. Then he asked me if I moved on and if I had a boyfriend and said he was going to stop paying for the computer. He had his foot in the door and I could hardly shut it. It was scary. Should I call the police if there is another incident?
He does not reside with you so yes you can call the police if he refuses to leave as he is trespassing, to say the least. His threat to stop paying for the computer really is not unreasonable, as many people stop paying for their ex's items. He also could have said that because he was hurt and it is human to lash out and say mean things when our feelings are hurt. Perhaps contact him and let him know that if he has any more mail or items to return to you, he can return them in a public place. Maybe mention a cafe or coffee shop that is halfway between you and him. Keep a record of threatening emails and messages. Be careful.
Categories : Relationships
Recent edits by: Nuance, Maria, Donna