Tell if My Long-Distance Boyfriend or Girlfriend Is Cheating on Me

Edited by Bobby-Jo Keats, Maria, Eng, Nuance and 4 others

Tell if My Long-Distance Boyfriend or Girlfriend Is Cheating on Me 52302.jpg
Ad

How to Tell if My Long-Distance Boyfriend or Girlfriend is Cheating on Me

When your lover is cheating, it's usually not long before you see the signs and find out. If, however, you are in a long-distance relationship, it won't be as easy to discover the deception. Here are some signs to look out for if you think your long-distance lover might be cheating.

Was this helpful? Yes | No
  1. 1
    They are acting strangely
    .
    You might notice a sudden change in their behavior or they may not call or message you when you usually talk to each other. Their mood may be different, more distant or perhaps you've recently noticed they have mood swings when they didn't previously exhibit this kind of behavior.
    Advertisement
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No
  2. 2
    They are always busy
    .
    When you call them unexpectedly, they make excuses not to talk on the phone or not respond to your messages or they tell you they are busy all the time...too busy to talk, text, email.
    Advertisement
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No
  3. 3
    They visit you but make excuses when you want to visit them
    .
    Pay attention to whether or not they are trying to conceal you from their friends and family. If they only visit you and don't allow you to spend time in their home, with their friends and family, it might be because they are seeing someone else.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No
  4. 4
    They won't make your relationship public on social media
    .
    They may seem to be keeping their family or friends from knowing about your relationship, it might be because they are seeing someone else and their friends might know about the other person, but they don't know about you and you might be the 'other' person.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No
  5. 5
    They start arguments with you all the time
    .
    Sometimes the smallest thing will make a cheater start an argument with you. They may start arguing over something silly or constantly start arguments about your relationship. This could mean that they are looking for a way out or trying to create an escape, or they might be emotionally volatile as a result of their guilt. They may even begin to accuse you of cheating.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No
  6. 6
    They act like they don't care
    .
    They may act as if it doesn't matter how their day was or they've stopped asking about you and your day, If they don't seem concerned with your life or discuss anything serious, or they forget important events special to you - they might be disconnected because they are cheating.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No
  7. 7
    They stop saying, "I love you." You can feel them pulling away from you emotionally, distancing themselves from you and your relationship
    .
    They may try to avoid causing further hurt feelings by continuing to lead you on and is a sign that something is wrong. In the long run, it hurts you more, and its only purpose is to make them feel better about their nefarious activities.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No
  8. 8
    They don't want to talk to you on video message
    .
    They will talk to you on the phone but they avoid video calls. This might be because they don't want you to see where they are or who they're with.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No
  9. 9
    They cancel plans
    .
    If they are canceling dates or visits or have never come to see you, be wary. It's common to visit over holidays or special occasions but if they suddenly start canceling plans, it might be because they are involved with someone else.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No
  10. 10
    They are secretive
    .
    They might suddenly start behaving secretively and change passwords or hide things from you. They may dodge questions you ask or be extremely vague when you ask them something. They may even start blocking you from seeing posts on social media. These may all be signs they aren't being faithful.
    Was this step helpful? Yes | No
    Advertisement

Questions and Answers

Unsure about girlfriend ...but is probably nothing?

Good morning Bobby-Jo .. .hope you're having a good week so far. Just had one question about my girlfriend. We met 8 months ago(on social media). At first, we sent pictures to each other of our daily activities and talked pretty often. She managed to visit last April for a few days. WE had a wonderful time .. .we even cried when we said Good Bye! We plan to see each other again in few weeks. We still talk every day but not as often because she is busy. Video message every couple days, plus we say I love you. And we ask each other how our day was. And according to her . ..her family knows about me and my family knows about her too. My concern is she has kept our relationship a secret in social media(according to her 'cause wants her personal life private)...even if it's on my page. Though recently one of her guy friends posted her picture and My Love as a comment underneath the picture. She never asked him to take it down and said he's just a friend. They talk often to each other. I posted a picture of us on another social media site and her friend saw it. Don't think he knew who I was or that I even existed. They both haven't talked much since. Not sure if I did the right thing or to even if I should mention it. Did I goof or should I continue like it never happens? Today she says she feeling sick and needs rest. I have tried: Tried to bring it up but she says he's a friend and keep our relationship private in social media. I think it was caused by: Think he was a friend before me. ..but she can't decide or wants to have both friendships at the same time. I think she loves me but not sure how she feels about the other person.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

If you have met in person several times, and have been dating for over 8 months, it is time to stop hiding. When you visit her, ask to meet her friends one evening. Say that you would like to meet those who are important in her life because she is important to you. If she does not want to introduce you to her friends then you should be very concerned.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

As for social media, some people keep their relationships completely off the internet because it never goes away. Say you break up, then she will have all these reminders all over her social media profiles. She would also have to answer as to why you broke up. Give her some slack for that but ask her why it was okay for her male friend to post images of them together with comments like "My Love" yet you can't.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

I often catch him snooping on his phone and constantly looking at his wristwatch like he has some appointments ahead?

I woke up one early morning and caught him snooping through his phone. There were times I asked to borrow his phone, and it took minutes before he handed it over. Though the password in his phone did not change, still I can feel he's deleting some message on his phone.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

While he could be deleting messages, do you have any other signs such as chunks of time that are unaccounted for? Does he appear less interested in your relationship? He may just be protective of his phone and that is why he does not like to hand it over. Still, you have his lock screen credentials so trust that he is faithful and not deleting messages. Also, I have my phone to delete messages once they get to a certain storage limit. He may have his device set to that.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

My girl is acting strange and I don't know what to do anymore?

I'm been in LDR for 3 months and at the beginning everything was good. She called me my love. Now she has changed the way she talks to me. We have a really open communication, so I already talked to her about it in video chat, but she didn't answer me fully when I questioned her why there was a change. I have tried: Tell her how I feel about her changing .. I think it was caused by: I don't know, I have been really honest with her.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

Have you met her in person yet? You are at the point where you should be arranging a visit together soon. Long distance relationships are incredibly lonely and after 3 months, she might be losing hope that this will work. Make plans to see each other very soon. If you are happy when you are visiting with her, then begin to make plans to be in the same location such as one of you relocating.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

Long distance boyfriend how to tell if he is sincere to you?

I have a long distance relationship with a guy for almost 2 months. How can I tell the difference between me being paranoid if he is seeing someone else or he is sincere with me? We do not like to believe what we can't see. Seeing is believing is something that you struggle with in a relationship that begins as a long distance one. Right now, all you can do is trust that he is only interested in you. Does he make time for you whenever he can? Can you call him after work/school and he answers you almost every time? Those are signs that there is no one else in the relationship.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

How to know if a boy is cheating on me? At the beginning of the relationship he talked a lot but now he does not, why?

Hello, I met a boy in a meeting and had eye contact with him. After one year I again met him at same place and again had eye contact with him. I don't know from where he got my number, but he did and asked me for a friendship. I accepted his proposal. When I started talking with him I asked a question, the question was that you are a Brahmin, he said yes I am Brahmin. After that, I started talking to him on WhatsApp. After this, the boy said I am not a brahmin, sorry. I was lying because I belong to backward class. You can't marry me, so we are just friends. Now he does not reply to me when I want to talk to him. He said I am busy, but sometimes he calls me and talk, but not as before. Tell me if he is cheating on me?

Was this helpful? Yes | No

He is not cheating. He backed off because he began to like you more than just friends. This is path towards disaster if there can be nothing more than friendship. Only pursue speaking with him if you are willing to forsake your cultural rules to be with him in the future. It seems that class status is important to you so why toy with his emotions just for your amusement?

Was this helpful? Yes | No

I'm a long distance relationship and I have felt that she might be cheating but I don't know if I'm just being paranoid!

We have been together for 5 years but we don't talk as much as we used to and she told me one of her male friends stayed at her house. She didn't sleep in the same room she said. she's the love of my life and I'm scared to lose her. We only text each other, but in the past, we used to have phone calls all the time. I don't dare to bring it up in case I'm worrying over nothing and I don't want to push her away. I have tried: I have occasionally brought up the fact that I'm scared that one day she might leave me for somebody who is better and smarter at university, but she assures me that she would never do that, but its always on the back of my mind. I think it was caused by: It could just be me being paranoid and the long distance. We don't talk as much as we used to, and a male friend stayed in her room because he was apparently locked out of his house, but she told me she didn't stay in the same room.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

After 5 years of dating, why are you still in a long distance relationship? Why are you not living in the same city or together yet? If you do not want to lose her, make a serious commitment towards her and begin plans to live near her so that you can begin your life together. Both of you have invested 5 years of dating each other so now it is time to decide to be together or end the relationship.

Was this helpful? Yes | No

If you have problems with any of the steps in this article, please post in the comments section below.

Comments

VisiHow welcomes all comments. If you do not want to be anonymous, register or log in. It is free.

Article Info

Categories : Suspicions

Recent edits by: chrisssscott, siyasoyasam, James P. Breslin

Share this Article:

Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 9,532 times.