Tell Your Family and Accept that You are LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender)

Edited by Leomar Umpad, Anonymous

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Acceptance is very important human social and psychological need. Everyone has a need to be accepted in one way or another. However, there are norms that dictate a few people's way of thinking as to what is a standard way or not. One of these norms is the gender status and preference of a person. The most common way and is universally accepted is that man marries woman, and they live a happy life. However this is not the real scenario; and sadly, a lot of people who are into man-man or woman-woman are considered a social disgrace. Though there are some states and countries legalizing same sex marriage, a large part of the population still thinks that such relationship is a taboo.

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This is the main reason most people who are gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender are afraid of telling their close ones about their real self. There are many stories about parents battering their children for mere signs of being a LGBT (lesbians, gay, bisexuals and transgender). As a result, some are having a hard time opening up to their families. Others hide the problem to themselves and experiencing social and emotional issues because of that.

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This VisiHow will discuss on the ways on how to tell your family and friends that you are heterosexual. If you are having problems coming out or if you know someone who wants to come out and reveal, take time to read through this article and tell us what you think on the comments section.

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Coming Out of the Closet

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Coming out to the world and telling them that you have a different sexual orientation than most people is a hard thing. However, it is the best way to release yourself from the burden of carrying and hiding something to yourself. The whole process will be discussed one by one below:

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  1. 1
    Recognize that you are a great person and that your gender orientation has nothing to do with it.
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  2. 2
    Accept to yourself that you are a lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.
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  3. 3
    Opening up to your friends about your gender orientation.
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  4. 4
    Opening up to your family about your gender orientation.
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  5. 5
    Ignore close-minded people.
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  6. 6
    Live a happy life.
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Recognize that you are a great person

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  1. 1
    Believe that you are a good person.
    You should see yourself as a person made by God and, thus, is naturally good. Do not let other people convince you that you are not good.
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  2. 2
    Recognize the qualities that can make you excel in the world.
    Focus on your assets instead of your shortcomings. Always think that no one is perfect and that you can always strive hard for the better.
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  3. 3
    Believe that greatness has nothing to do with your gender orientation.
    A lot of people who are lesbians, gays, bisexuals or transgender have excelled much in their field and has made the world a better and more convenient place.
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  4. 4
    Believe that having a different preference against the most commonly accepted is never a sin.
    Do not look at yourself as a sinner, you are not. You are a loving person made by God to share love to the world.
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  5. 5
    Do good, be good.
    There is nothing better to do than to do good to yourself and others. Let your positive outlook conquer them. Do not let a single quality define who you are.
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Accept to yourself that you are a lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender

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You cannot start with the process of letting others accept you if you have not accepted the situation to yourself. You should learn the art of acceptance before you can apply it.

  1. 1
    Tell yourself that you are a lesbian, a gay, a bisexual or a transgender.
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  2. 2
    Tell yourself there is nothing wrong with being one.
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  3. 3
    Tell yourself that you are not going to do evil things to the world, nor the other people who have the same preference as you.
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  4. 4
    Accept your gender preference and love yourself.
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Opening up to your friends about your gender orientation

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Before opening to your family, you might want to start opening up to a close friend on your gender. Acceptance from a friend will give you the boost you need to opening yourself your family. Check on these tips:

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  1. 1
    Choose a friend who is open-minded.
    Choosing the friend to whom you will open up to is not a pick-your-favorite-clothes task. It does not always follow that you open up to your closest friend, especially if your closest friend is active on anti-heterosexual activities. Choose a friend who you know as open-minded, someone who is on the same situation may be good but is not necessary. You do not want to spoil your first chance of coming out by bursting it to someone who will literally close the door down on you.
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  2. 2
    Tell it on a straight-forward manner.
    Do not make the confession long. Tell your friend that you are one. There is no need for lengthy introductions. They do not help.
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  3. 3
    If possible, avoid tears.
    Why would you cry? You are a noble person brave enough to open up to a friend. Do your friend a favor by not crying. It will spare him from the unnecessary comforting task. However, if you feel that you are crying do not try to restrict it too, the tears may be of joy after opening up to your friend. Just make sure to tell your friend that those are tears of joy.
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Opening up to your family about your gender orientation

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This maybe a not-so-easy part, especially if you have a conservative family. However, this process can be so rewarding that it is always worth the risk of rejection.

  1. 1
    Identify one member of the family to open up to.
    You may need to open up to someone on your family who you think will understand you most. Do not go on a confession rampage and put your whole family into shock. The process is composed of letting them know smoothly, not abruptly.
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  2. 2
    Ask the help of the family member whom you opened up to.
    Depending on your situation, you may be present when that family member informs the others or if you have a physically reactive family, you may want to let that family member do the talking for you.
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  3. 3
    Bravely face your family.
    If you did not face them on step 2, you would somehow end facing them anytime. Facing them and telling of your preference would be scenario you could not avoid. Tell them you love them and that you need their love too.
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  4. 4
    Ask for their understanding.
    Let them know of the sufferings you had from keeping the issue to yourself. Ask for their understanding. Assure them that you are the same family member that they have always known.
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  5. 5
    Ask for their acceptance.
    Let them know that their acceptance is important to you that you risk possible physical confrontation or rejection just to open up to them. Make them understand that they are very important to you and that their acceptance of who you really are is as important too.
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  6. 6
    Be patient.
    Some family members may not be able to accept your gender right there and then. Give them time to think and see the real you. They should be able to accept it eventually though some may take it a longer time.
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  7. 7
    Don't push it.
    Stop forcing someone to accept you. Instead, just do good to them. The more you force someone, the more that person resist.
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  8. 8
    Give thanks.
    Appreciate those who understands you and accept you. Tell them you are very thankful and happy that they understand your side.
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Ignore close-minded people

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Let's face it. There will always be extremists. These people take everything to the extreme. May it be a favorite hobby, a fan of a celebrity, or against a certain belief or ideology, there will always be people who take it to the higher and more extreme levels. There will always be people who will show hatred and despise you for your preference. These are the tips on how to deal with them.

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  1. 1
    Ignore them.
    Ignoring is an art. It is hard not to get offended by those people who shows defiance against your preference. Simply ignore them. Do not let them affect you. Do not let their negative energies fill you. Always think that you are a good person and you deserve to be happy. Think of the people who are willing to support you on your preference. If the close-minded person is a family member, treat him or her good and do not argue or justify yourself. A close-minded person will always find an argument in his favor.
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  2. 2
    Do something good to them.
    Be good to those people who hate you. That is the best revenge you can give to them. Do not fuel their desires of hating you. Instead make them feel how bad they are by being good to them. Through this process, some may actually give up hating and finally accept you.
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Live a happy life

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  1. 1
    Always put to mind that you are the captain of your life.
    Set the sail to the joyful route. Put your happiness meter to full-throttle.
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  2. 2
    You cannot please everyone.
    Some people may hate you but always remember that there are a lot of people who understands you and accepts you without any effort on your part.
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  3. 3
    Recognize and accept that the world is black and white, a yes and no, that there will always be good and bad; and that there will always be people who will hate your preference.
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  4. 4
    Accept that you cannot change the mind-setting of these close-minded people.
    Do not waste your energies trying to convince them otherwise.
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  5. 5
    Live a happy and good life!
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Categories : Family

Recent edits by: Leomar Umpad

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