Signs Your Girlfriend Is Going to Break Up with You

Edited by Donna, Doug Collins, Eng, Maria and 10 others

There are some very candid, straightforward women in the world who make it immediately clear if they want to break up with a man, but it seems that the majority of women prefer to give you clues, before they come right out and say, "I don't want to be with you anymore."

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If she is always picking fights with you does it mean she wants to break up with you? Photo courtesy of Mental Health UK.

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Why Do Women Wait So Long to Break Up With You?

There are several reasons why a woman may feign interest in having a relationship with you when she is not really interested anymore. These reasons may include:

  • You provide her with some kind of status or popularity.
  • You offer financial support or she receives health benefits as your spouse.
  • She really likes your friends and family and does not want to lose those relationships as well.
  • She is scared of your reaction; afraid you might become angry or vindictive.
  • She genuinely does not want to hurt you, but someone else has come along.
  • She feels guilty that she wants to end it, but doesn't know how to stand up for herself and tell you what she wants to do
  • She's afraid there is someone better out there for her and is just settling for a life with you for now

Many women also hope that if they leave you enough hints and clues, you will just get sick of her behavior and leave on your own. Often this doesn't happen, and your inability to recognize what she needs can lead to a nasty break-up.

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If you are paying her rent, living with her or providing some kind of financial security she may be reluctant to tell you how she really feels about the relationship. Photo credit: Jennifer D. Ames.

Signs That Your Girlfriend is Going to Break Up With You

  1. 1
    She stops texting you
    .
    Texting is very important to women. It's her way of showing she intends to be involved in your life as much as possible, even when she is not by your side. A woman is never too busy to leave you a text. If your text screen is blank, she is certainly not attempting to engage with you.
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  2. 2
    She changes or hides her relationship status on Facebook without telling you
    .
    Women consider the Facebook relationship status to be a crucial part of their relationships because it tells the world that their partners are not available. If the Facebook status is hidden or even worse, if she has changed it to single this is not a subtle message - she is already considering other romantic options.
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  3. 3
    She stops talking about her life and friends
    .
    Most women will confide in you about how they feel about their friends and give you details about how their day went, without you having to ask. If a woman stops talking about her day and the people in her life or giving her opinion on topics, then it's possible she is thinking of breaking up with you.
    If she stops texting or involving you in her social life it might be over. Photo by science.opposingviews.com
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  4. 4
    She stops including you in her social life
    .
    If you are no longer invited out with her friends or family or being asked why you didn't remember a special occasion, then that is a signal from her that she does not want you to be part of her life. If it seems as if she is actually preventing you from talking to her friends and family, that is even more foreboding that a break-up is imminent.
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  5. 5
    She stops asking you the details of your day
    .
    Women who are in love are interested in every single thing you do, and will always try to engage you in a conversation that shows she cares about you.
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  6. 6
    She stops making plans for your future
    .
    Women in love who are committed to a guy, never ever stop thinking about what the two of you are going to do next. She might be avoiding questions about moving in together or getting married.
    If she is avoiding the topic of marriage, she may have given up on the relationship. Photo by David Ball.
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  7. 7
    Something important happens in her life and you are the last to hear about it
    .
    This is a very bad sign. It means she is not including you in her close inner circle of trusted confidantes. You shouldn't be reading about her promotion at work or that her sister had a baby on Facebook. You should be one of the first to know...unless she's lost interest in you.
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  8. 8
    She is always in a bad mood when she is with you
    .
    A woman that does not want to be with a guy might be a bit snappy and very negative about everything. She may be trying to demonstrate that she is not fun to be with in order to turn you off and drive you away.
    If she is always negative and cutting off communication and physical affection, she is ready to break up with you. Photo courtesy of themarysue.com.
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  9. 9
    She is no longer affectionate with you
    .
    She might bat your hand away if you try to hold it or push you away if you try to hug her. You are the one making all of the physical overtures and not her. This is her passive-aggressive way of telling you she wants it to be over.
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  10. 10
    If you compliment her, she ignores you
    .
    A woman who does not accept comments from you about her appearance does want to hear you talk about how sexy she is, in case it leads to sex. She is discouraging you by not acknowledging your appreciation of her.
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  11. 11
    She no longer laughs at your jokes
    .
    She used to find you hilarious and now she responds as if you are a terrible bore. If she is rolling her eyes at your attempts at humor or even walking out of the room before you can deliver the punch line, then you have a someone who wants to leave you.
    If she gives everything you say thumbs down, it might be a sign that she wants to leave. Photo" www.ceh.org.
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  12. 12
    She doesn't let you tell the same story twice
    .
    A woman may cut you off or interrupt you if you begin telling a story to her or others that she has heard before. She is sick of you and does not revel in hearing all about your adventures yet one more time.
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  13. 13
    She doesn't seem to mind if you flirt with another woman
    .
    It could be that she used to be quite jealous, and now, there is no reaction at all if another woman threatens your relationship. This is a sign that she is hoping someone else will take you off her hands, so she doesn't have to endure that ugly breakup conversation with you.
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  14. 14
    She always has an excuse for not having sex
    .
    She might have a headache, or a job interview or her period. You are thinking "Whatever. It is always something." You are rejected every single time you suggest sex or make an advance and it's getting hard not to take this personally.
    If she gets a headache every time you suggest sex she may be practicing avoidance of telling you that she wants to leave.
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  15. 15
    She has let herself go physically and does not wax or shave
    .
    A woman who is not bothering to get waxed and gains weight might be trying to drive you away by showing a reluctance to impress you visually, or in bed.
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  16. 16
    She lets you win all arguments
    .
    This means that she has lost the will to try and convince you of anything or persuade you to see her point of view. She does not care what you think so she is not going to try and convince you to see things from her perspective.
    If she doesn't mention your bad habits anymore, she may not be planning to stick around much longer. Photo by Chad Fitz.
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  17. 17
    She complains about you and points out your flaws
    .
    A woman who is going to leave will complain about your personal hygiene, the way you keep house, your weight and anything else she finds flawed about you. This constant criticism is her way of building a case in her mind and your mind as to why she should be able to leave you without guilt.
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  18. 18
    She picks fights with you that escalate quickly into full-blown wars
    .
    A woman who provokes arguments may be viewing you as an enemy that she must try to evict from her life. If the fights are verbally abusive or violent, then it is obvious that it is time to leave.
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  19. 19
    She looks you in the eye and tells you directly that she wants to break up with you
    .
    This usually is not a vain threat or some kind of joke. When a woman gathers up the courage to tell her mate this, it means that she is very serious about ending the relationship immediately.
    If she tells you that she wants to break up with you, she is probably not kidding. Photo courtesy of Irishcentral.com
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Tips and Tricks

  1. 1
    If you suspect a woman is trying to break up with you, but you aren't sure, there is no harm in sitting her down and asking her directly if that's what she wants
    .
    It might be easier than waiting for the situation to culminate in an ugly emotional breakup, and of course, you could also be wrong. She might just tell you that she has been busy or tired or pregnant, or just not aware that what she was doing was hurtful, and she actually wants to stay with you.
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  2. 2
    If she does break up with you, do not waste time chasing or begging for her to take you back
    .
    It is unlikely she will feel pity for you if she has taken so long to break up with you. If you do want her back, your best chance for success is to improve your behaviors and see if she notices.
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  3. 3
    If you don't want her to leave you, consider breaking up with her first
    .
    Change your behavior based on her complaints and make sure she can see the change in you. If there is a chance for the relationship, this is it. It's always the dumpee who wants to get back together. Humans are just that way, so take advantage of it. Of course, if the relationship was really toxic she may say "Good Riddance", and if that was the case, it would have ended eventually. One variation you could try is to change your ways for about 2 weeks before you dump her. That way she sees the better "you" and the breakup will hit her harder, and she is most likely going to want to get back together with you.
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  4. 4
    Be honest with yourself and take a few minutes to ask whether or not the relationship is working before you react negatively to her behavior
    .
    Sometimes it's best to acquiesce and let her go without drama, rather than try to want someone who does not want you back.
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Questions and Answers

I saw her having a fantasy with a man and we broke up.

I saw her having a fantasy with a man and we broke up. We meet after that and spent time together and talked about it and she told me it was because of me that she did that on Facebook, in a peaceful way - and we had good sex. I have tried: Talked about it and spent time together. I think it was caused by: Hurting her.

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Ask for a clean slate, a new beginning. Start getting to know each other again and reconnect. Apologize to her for your actions before you ask for the clean slate. Do not demand that she apologize back though, but most likely if she agrees to a new relationship with you, she will apologize again. You are both slightly confused right now. Make a condition that you'll have no sexual contact for 3 months, while you reconnect. This way, your connection will be built on a foundation of emotions and not sexual feelings. This is the best chance for your relationship to survive.

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My girlfriend has reduced the number of interactions with me.

Now, she is not meeting me in private as her family is over here. She doesn't have that spark in her eyes when she speaks to me. When I ask if something's wrong, she says NO! She says she is busy with her family. She talks to me in the office, but now she's afraid people are noticing, etc. When I asked her if she wanted to break up, she said, "Why do you think like this?" I don't know where it's going!

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This is a normal reaction when the family is around if they are pressuring her in some way. Just give her some space and understanding while her family is visiting. You could offer to meet them if this relationship is serious enough. This would be the perfect time to bring up the validity of your relationship and ask to meet her family.

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She said she is tired of committing to us?

My girlfriend said she is tired of commitment in our relationship and that she wanted to break up with me though there's nothing I did to upset her in any way

Even though you did not upset her, she is in a different path in her life. Perhaps she is feeling that your relationship is causing issues with work or school. The best thing to do would be to offer to let her out of the relationship. Explain to her that you still would like to be in her life and see what her reaction is.

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We are constantly fighting over little things?

Today we cleaned and everything was great. then later she got mad cause she said I moved the super glue even tho I knew exactly where it was. I have tried: I've tried talking to her about it. it just seems to make it worse. I think it was caused by: She wants to break up

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Sometimes there is frustration in a relationship for no reason other than she is blowing off steam. If she is stressed about other events happening in her life, she may take it out on you. Did she receive a distressing call or is a project due for work or school soon? Shake it off and do not fall into the trap of bickering over small matters. It is not easy to just drop your part in a squabble but there is truth in the phrase of picking your battles.

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She couldn't look me in the eye to break up?

My girlfriend of 13 months broke up with me in her car, could not look me in the eyes to tell me. what does this mean?. I think it was caused by: Nervous about our future. we just booked our first long distance trip together 5 days prior to this.

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Fear of commitment is tough to deal with when you are the other person in the relationship. You booked a long distance trip and then she broke up with you. Perhaps it was because she is afraid of settling down, but, you need to speak with her to request the real reasons for the breakup. Explain to her that there were no signs, you had just booked a trip. It also could have been financial if she was covering her cost of the trip. No matter what, the only way you will get closure and have a chance to repair the relationship is for her to be completely honest with you.

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Should I break up with her, it has been roughly two years now that have been dating my girl, and problem with her is that she kind of girl that always gets angry easily, but of recent she called me and said she wants to discuss a very important thing with me, and I said OK, she told that she is no longer OK about our relationship and asked her why she said am not ready to plan life with her. I am so confused. I don't know what to do now, please I need your help?

Hi, it has been roughly two years now that have been dating my girl, and problem with her is that she kind of girl that always gets angry easily, but of recent she called me and said she wants to discuss a very important thing with me, and I said OK, she told that she is no longer OK about our relationship and asked her why she said am not ready to plan life with her. I am so confused. I don't know what to do now, please I need your help I have tried: I have begged her. I think it was caused by: I don't really know

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After two years, she is requesting a deeper level of commitment. Often relationships are not in the same path of commitment. To fix this, ask her what she needs from you to feel secure that she has a future with you. There may need to be some compromise such as an engagement that lasts two years before marriage. Perhaps you can offer her a promise ring as a sign of commitment. The fact is, there will need to be some level plan of a future for her to feel that this relationship will last.

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See more questions like this: How do you reset an Alba tablet when you have forgotten the password

How do I reply to her without upsetting our friendship and stay positive?

Girlfriends text- says she prefers to go on holiday with her dog. Holidays change of heart. She lives 90 miles away. We text a lot

What did you do to upset her? Have you asked how you can correct the transgression? If she opens up, do not defend yourself before giving a heartfelt apology first. What she said was extremely hurtful and you should be cautious about that. If there was no reason for her to say that other than to be hurtful towards you, it is time to walk away from this relationship.

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She says she does not have time to talk to me, but she always finds time for friends and even posts pictures of them having fun?

She does not have time to talk to me. I text, and she does not respond. I try to be there, but she just ignores it in a way. We don't talk about our life anymore or our plans. She hardly even reads all my texts, and she does not respond to any. I might be the one but is this normal?

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This is not normal. While most people fall into a routine after about three months of a relationship, she seems to be distancing herself from you. It is great that she spends time with her friends, but she should have the courtesy to respond to your text messages. It is time for you to tell her that you are moving on since it seems that this is what she wants.

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My girlfriend wants to break up because I called her a name as I was under stress and now I regret it tremendously please help me?

I made a big mistake by calling her a name and I have been with her almost 5 years. I was under a lot of stress but I love her so much and she is my life and world. How do I change her mind? Thank you. It probably isn't different but I still need your advice as I really don't want to lose her after almost 5 years with each other

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Even though you were under stress, stop using that as an excuse. Instead, show her how much she is the love of your life. This may mean that you feel like you are going overboard but do not stop until you see that she is beginning to remember why she fell in love with you. Although you are under a lot of stress, schedule a couple hours a week to block out stress free time for the two of you. Perhaps go for a walk through different parks in your area or sit outside watching the sunset. During this time there should only be a discussion of positive things in both of your lives.

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What if she doesn't find time with me? Does she have a plan breaking up with me?

When I ask her to go out, she makes excuses like, I just arrived home, I will go out again? She tells me that she loves me but based on what she does, seems like she doesn't like me anymore.

Hi there, in your details you wrote that "On the early stage of our relationship, I am always the dominant one. For example, if she rejects my request, I threaten her. I think I'm the one who broke our relationship and I'm trying my best to restore it, yet, I still end up frustrated." If this is the case, she is telling you what you want to hear to prevent you from threatening her again. When someone is in love with someone else, they can hardly wait to see them. They answer their calls and texts right away and suggest places to go. The fact that she is blatantly avoiding you after you have threatened her, is your clue to give this connection up immediately. She is constantly making excuses not to see you because she is either terrified or really pities you and wants to let you down gently. Time to move on!

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My girlfriend cheated on me with her best friend, I caught her with the guy?

My girlfriend cheated on me with her best friend, I caught her, the guy left her whom she cheated on me, after that she talking to that guy. Now she wants me back but I can't forget what she did with me, she is so emotional, and she did share her relationship with another guy, he also is her friend and she told him like she truly love the guy whom she cheated on me and she did lots of romance with him she couldn't forget till she die. I told her if she moves on she can, but she didn't want to move on. I tried to rebuild relationship but I can't trust her, she might lie again. I asked her did anyone know about their relationship with that guy, she answered me; no one knows anything and she didn't share with anyone, but she shared with her male friend, I want to break up with her without hurting her, please help me. We are in long distance relationship and long term (8 years), and I can't forget her at the same time. I can't forgive what she did to me, and her family problems are messed up. She lied, I don't know her situation, she wants me to marry her and I am staying away and she wants me to came to her place, but I am doing post graduation in one of the greatest institutions, sometimes she agrees to come to my place, sometimes she wants me to come to her place.

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If she has cheated on you, then you need not care so much about her feelings, as she did not care about yours in the first place. You also need to realize, that you have been emotionally traumatized and that it is going to take time for you to heal. In order for this to happen, you need to cut off all contact with her for at least a year. Continuing to see her is like constantly ripping off the bandage off of the wound and making it bleed again.You also need to recognize those mature adults can experience an emotion, but they also have the power to choose how they react to the misery caused to them by another. This not only means refusing to let her betrayal have power over you from day to day, but it also means not allowing her to manipulate you with promises of sex or by crying. It is actually insane that she expects you to marry her after all of this and you should walk away from this toxic relationship now.

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My girlfriend went abroad to start her own business in Carpe Verde but cannot get in contact with her after one month?

After one month cannot see her photo image and all messages do not get delivered to her. Has she blocked me and wants to break up with me? She has not told me that we have broken up, and I cannot get in contact with her by WhatsApp messenger or mobile phone. I have tried: Messaging her on WhatsApp, but messages do get delivered, I texted her mobile and called on her mobile, no answer. I think it was caused by: Not at all I have done send her compliment messages via WhatsApp

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I think you should go to Carpe Verde as soon as you can. Has her family had contact with her? Did she lose her cell phone? She should have had the courtesy to end the relationship if not in person then at least on the phone over a voice call. So, for closure, make a trip to see her. Tell her you both deserve respect in the relationship and end it properly.

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Recent edits by: robsouto, doctor3548, nivlaolocloc

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