Save a Relationship from a Possible Breakup
Edited by Leomar Umpad, Charmed, Anonymous, Ephraim and 3 others
Do you feel that your relationship is on the verge of breaking? Do you want to save it but it seems that everything you do only worsen the situation? Breakups are nothing but hurtful emotions. Yes, it may open opportunities for possible better relationships but we really cannot deny that it will hurt. A lot. If you want to save your relationship, then try these tips:
Take time to think
Thinking is the most important part of trying to mend the relationship or save the relationship. Before you doing anything irrational or extreme it is important that you take time out to think about ways to help the relationship. In addition to thinking be sure that you have given yourself ample time to think about what to do versus thinking for about an hour and making a move. When thinking you will need to think about yourself as well as your partner in order to fully understand what you need to do for the relationship. Below are a number of things that you can think about during this time period in your life.
- 1Think about what caused the relationship to take the wrong turn that you are currently in at the time.By taking the time to think about what went wrong you will be able to do your best to fix the situation as well as help you to better understand what not to do in the future.Advertisement
- 2Think about what you in particular have done to cause the relationship to go wrong before thinking about what the other person has done to cause harm to the relationship.Figure out what you have done will help you to better evaluate yourself in order to make yourself better for the relationship.Advertisement
- 3Think about what your partner has done and what you can do to not criticize them but help them to be better for the relationship in the future.When confronting your partner about what they have done wrong be as gentle as possible as to not antagonize them about the things that they have done to harm the relationship.
- 4Think about the bad as well as the good for not every relationship is good so do not act as if it was all good in the relationship.By thinking about the bad you will keep in touch with what is real instead of the fantasy of the relationship being perfect.
- 5Think about the changes that have occurred in the relationship in regards to whether or not the two of you have just changed and are not compatible anymore in the relationship.Some couples just grow apart taking on different interests and roads in life rather than it being somebodies fault for the break up. By recognizing this issue understand that there is an unlikely chance that the both of you will rekindle without having to give up aspirations or other things you two are pursuing in each of your lives.
What to do with your partner
When it comes to the process of mending you will need to talk to your partner about certain things dealing with the relationship. In order to help the situation you will need to talk with your partner about some very important information in regards to what to do with the relationship from this point. Below are a number of things that you will need to discuss with your partner in regards to mending or ending the relationship entirely.
- 1Talk to your partner in regards to the the problems in the relationship in order to get their look on what has happened in the current situation.When talking be sure to listen to what they have to say when it comes to the relationship rather than ignoring their feelings and suggestions.Advertisement
- 2Give your input on what is wrong or has gone wrong in the relationship for it can in fact help to open up other issues/solutions for the relationship.Do not play the blame game but instead give your honest opinion on what the other person has in fact done to hurt you or what you have done to hurt them during the duration of the relationship.
- 3Talk with your partner about mending the relationship between the two of you or at least if it is worth saving the relationship.If you sense that your partner does not fully want to men the relationship then you can either move on or wait until they in fact are ready to med the relationship between the two of you in the relationship.
- 4Mention to your partner about cheating whether or not it was you or them who in fact did the cheating.When talking about this situation understand if the other person is over the cheating issue or is not going to commit the act again before moving forward in the relationship.
- 5Speak with your partner about whether or not you two will want to in fact be together in the future.If your partner cannot see the both of you moving forward together to have a good future then understand that this is a red flag and should be noted in regards to taking the relationship forward if it is necessary.
- 6Speak with your partner about if it is possible to work through the issues that have arisen in the relationship.If they can see that they can in fact work through the problems then understand that there is a chance at helping the relationship for the better if not then focus on moving on in life alone.
- 7Check in with your partner to see if the two of you are in fact still in love with each other and are not together just to go with the flow of things in the relationship.If your partner does not share the same love or affection then this will cause the mending of the relationship to not be successful.
- 8Discuss with your partner what the plan is to get back together in regards to the relationship at the time.With the both of you involved together in making the plan it will more than likely seal the deal with the planning of getting back together or helping the relationship.
- 9Talk about ways to help allow the both of you to spend more time with each other during the day rather than being apart.Come together in order to discuss what can be done to help the relationship for the best at the current time to help bring the both of you closer in the relationship.
- 10Talk to your partner about whether or not you will be wanting to see a counselor together but remember that it is important that both of you are interested in this solution.Do not go forward with counselling if it is only your idea for they will not give their full effort in counselling if they are not interested in performing this step.
- 11Share between you and your partner things that you are scared about in the relationship in order to better understand each other in the relationship.The more you open up with your partner the more you will gain access to true feelings which can in fact help to med your relationship together.
- 12Talk to your partner about things that you two can compromise on in the relationship at the time.By doing this you will be able to give and take things about yourself in the relationship for the betterment of the situation. Compromising is very important if you are wanting to in fact help aid the relationship in regards to certain things that bothers the other partner.
- 13Balance yourself with your partner in order to ensure that you are in fact not giving into everything but are also standing up for what is important.Just because you are wanting to mend the relationship does not mean that you need to give up everything to the relationship in order to help keep everything afloat in the current situation. If you start to give in to everything now then understand that you will have to continue to do this in order to keep the relationship in good standing in the future.
- 14Do not fight with your partner when discussing things about the relationship for it will not allow the both of you to retain what the other is saying at the time.Screaming, yelling and arguing will cause the both of you to in fact not fully listen or take in what the other is saying in the conversation. Do your best to remain calm while still getting your point across without having to yell or argue with the other partner.
- 15Do not pick a fight with your partner by mentioning hurtful things at the time that has occurred in the relationship.If you are wanting to bring up something then understand that you will need to do this gently rather than yelling at them during the conversation.
- 16Give up your passive aggressive ways and instead say how you feel about certain situations.By being passive aggressive your partner will notice then and will more than likely not take your seriously when in a conversation with them about the current situation. Be true to yourself and your partner when talking with them in order to get the true feelings out for the best results.
- 17Do not send mean or spiteful messages to your partner when you are mad because these words will not be able to be taken back once sent, in fact write them down to yourself in order for you to reflect later on the situation.
- 18Get back with your partner and do things with them in order to gain the connection back together with your partner at the time.Do things that you haven't done before or things that the both of you enjoy in order to help them to be better at the current time.
- 19Depending on your situation schedule outing between you and your partner at the current time.Read a book, go dancing or go to the gym together depending on the type of people that you are as a couple in the current situation.
- 20Go on a trip together in order to embark on a new adventure together as a couple which in turn will help the both of you to connect back to each other on another level in adventure.Taking a trip will give the both f you time to spend together alone rather than spending time around others as well as being in a new environment.
- 21Remember and re live old memories that you both have shared positively between you and your partner.By doing this you will be reliving good memories between you and your partner in the relationship together.
- 22Talk. There is no other better alternative than to talk it out.Tell your partner that you feel that your relationship is spiraling down the hill and you want it saved. Express how much you want to save it and how you value the relationship and your significant one. This is going to be hard, especially for a man, but this is the start of patching the problems.
- 23Be honest.And ask for honesty back. Say how you currently feel. Tell the things you hate about your partner. Tell him/her all her positive attitudes that you want. In return, ask for his side too. It is time to re-evaluate your relationship, lay down all the cards to see what needs to be disposed and what needs to be kept to save your relationship.
- 24Be open.When your partner tells you this or that. Accept it as it is. Let him/her finish what he/she has to say. Do not justify, do not make excuses, just look at your partner in the eye and make him/her feel that you are sincerely listening. If you keep on justifying all the things that your partner raised as issues, this may kept him/her from telling everything or worse, turn into an argument.
- 25Accept.You should accept that both of you are not perfect and had, along the way, made some errors and lapse of judgment. Both of you should accept it. From acceptance, understand why both of you have done it and from there find ways or better, agree on ways to resolve future issues from surfacing back.
- 26Make amends.Change the bad ways to good ways. In everything you do, always consider that you have a partner who may have another say on your decision. Consult your partner's opinion on a major decision as you want to be consulted on theirs too.
- 27Agree.After everything has been discussed, agree on the new "rules" of the relationship. Then maybe you both go on a date, or relive your first date.Advertisement
Tips Tricks & Warnings
- You may need to revise these instructions to suit your current scenario.
- The thing is, both of you need to let it all out, accept both of your mistakes, and are willing to change.
Questions and Answers
Why is my boyfriend so distant now that I have moved 45 minutes away from where he stays ?
He doesn't call me every night like he use to or tells me he loves me every night like he use to.. I have tried: Calling him first. I think it was caused by: I'm not sure
Have you moved closer to or farther from him?
- If you moved farther, then he might be considering the downsides of seeing you less often, and that causes depression in him. If you lived together before that, then he might be even considering that you are trying to stop the relationship.
- If you moved closer, then he might have second thoughts about you now. When you long for something and finally receive it, you value it less. Maybe he has someone who is a candidate for his heart too, and your moving closer mixes up his plans. And, lastly, he may just value privacy that much that the convenience of seeing you takes away from the feeling.
To solve the situation, you may wish to go back living like it has been before you moved closer to or farther from him.
- If you moved closer, offer him privacy by not imposing yourself at all, wait for his offers to visit his place, and never ask him to invite you over.
- If you moved farther, offer him to move to a complete new place together. Assure him that you love him more and more every day.
I'm stressed out. Are we breaking up, we seem to have lost the spark?
We are not communicating as effectively as before. No phone calls, no regular texts. I don't see him as much. I don't remember the last time he initiated a date. He seems tired of me. I have tried: I tried talking to him about his behavior stating all the things I'd like him to do and try to rekindle our spark.. I think it was caused by: Lack of intimacy for a long while. Lack of communication. Ignoring from his side.
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Categories : Relationships
Recent edits by: VisiHow, Eng, Ephraim