Raise a Family

Edited by estrella sacragon, Eng, Lynn, Anonymous

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Raising a family may or may not be an easy task. However, it is a must for parents to know these essential steps on how to be successful in rearing their children.

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Over the years, we have seen the birth of different forms of families from all across the globe, alongside different styles of parenting. Whatever a family is to someone, one this is for sure — the family is the most important part of a child's life. How a child deals with situations, living, and relationships will basically depend on how the child is brought up in a family.

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When a child is brought up in a loving and caring family, he develops good moral character and self esteem. Conversely, when the child has an unhappy environment in the family, chances are he will grow with a range of problems along the way. Raising a family is easy, and at the same time difficult. No one really knows how to make a family life successful. But for the most part, it is the parents' obligation to keep a happy and harmonious family life. Below are some practical and helpful tips to raise a family.

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How to Effectively Raise a Family

  1. 1
    Have the Time for Talking and Listening.
    Oftentimes, parents tend to get too busy with work, so that they end up spending less time with their kids. As much as you can, find the time to talk and listen to your child. Listening not only means hearing what your child has to say. Work out what your kid is truly feeling. Listen without immediately jumping to conclusions and criticizing and lecturing.
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  2. 2
    Show Encouragement, Appreciation and Affection.
    Even small things matter a lot to your child. Be affectionate to them as much as you can. Give hugs, plant small kisses, and be kind and thoughtful to them. Studies show that teenagers who are kissed, hugged and praised by their parents religiously are said to do better in school as compared with teens that don't get to have the same experience.
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  3. 3
    Get Involved.
    It is also important to find time to ask your kids and other members of the family what they have done each day. Showing interest in each family member's life may sound simple but really, it makes a huge difference. In most cases, you might find it easier to criticize than praise, especially when your child has done something wrong. Regardless of what they have done, make an effort to find something positive about it before you criticize.
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  4. 4
    Accept Differences.
    Every member in your family is different from one another. It is important that you value their differences and appreciate them. Give room for each member to feel excited and interested about their own personal interests. If possible, never pressure them into hiding their differences. Instead, make them feel proud just to be themselves.
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  5. 5
    Share Chores.
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  6. 6
    Help your child understand who's the boss.
    Your child should already understand who is in control in the family, thus it is best that you make him realize that during his early years. But make sure you use adult power wisely and fairly. Be controlling but encouraging at the same time. Avoid threats and punishments as these can create trauma and fear in your child as he grows up.
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Keeping a strong family takes a lot of ingenuity. But with the right positive attitude paired with shared values and beliefs, almost any family can cope with the challenges of raising a strong and harmonious family.

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Can you Be a Good Parent to your Child?

Being a parent is probably the most fulfilling experience any person can have. As a parent, the most important thing you can give your child is a sense of being loved. However, parenthood is always harder than anybody actually thinks it will be. Children learn by trying, and then trying all over again. And so do parents. Parenting may be challenging, but equally rewarding especially when you know you have done your best to be an almost-perfect parent. So here are ways on how you can become a good parent to your child.

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  1. 1
    Express your love and affection.
    A little encouragement, some gentle cuddles, approvals, appreciations, and even just a simple smile can go a long way to boost your child's well-being and confidence. Every day, tell your children how much you love them. Shower them with kisses and tight hugs. Love your children unconditionally and try your hardest not to force them to be who you think they must be for them to earn your love. At any given time, always let your children know that you will always love them unconditionally no matter what.
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  2. 2
    Praise your children.
    At any rate, avoid comparing your children to other kids, most importantly to their siblings, otherwise, you will only create sibling rivalry among them. Each of your children is unique and individual. Instead, celebrate your child's differences and just instill in them the desire to pursue their own dreams and interests. If you fail in doing this, your child may end up with an inferiority complex. They will think that whatever they do, they can never be good enough in your eyes. Ideally, teach your children and let them realize that it is generally okay for them to be different; that they don't have to be in the "in" crowd. While they are still young, let them know the difference between right and wrong so they will learn to make their own decisions and not listen and follow others. Always keep in mind that your children are never an extension of yourself, but individuals under your care. Therefore do not make your children as if they were your chance for you to relive your past life through them.
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  3. 3
    Avoid Criticisms.
    Instead of criticizing your child, why not focus on their behavior instead? Try not to be so judgmental to your children. When you notice them acting out in spiteful and harmful manners, remind them that such behavior is unacceptable. Do not scold them, instead, try reaching out alternative suggestions. When pointing out that they have done something wrong, be assertive yet kind. Avoid public humiliation if you can. If your children misbehave in public, silently take them aside and talk to them privately.
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  4. 4
    Be consistent.
    Enforce house rules that apply to each person leading a productive and happy life. You must also be good in communication. Your children have to be certainly familiar with whatever consequences you give them for their actions. If you punish them, make sure that they have understood the reason and the fault. Being a good parent is not just about being your children's parent. You must also be their friend, their mentor and their confidant.
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Tips on How to be a Good Parent

It takes too much to be a parent: time, maturity, money, the loss of hobbies and cherished time with good friends. We have so much to do with too little time: we have careers to maintain, immediate families to uplift and dreams to pursue. Why would you want to have a kid? Why should you be a parent? Imagine the rest of your life tied down to a person who will depend on you. Would the trouble be worth the satisfaction?

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The lucky few who are able to become good parents share certain traits and principles in common. Here is a rundown of characteristics you should embrace to be the good parent that you want to be. It may not be easy. Never assume that somebody can be a good parent. It takes time, experience and sensitivity to get to that level. Yet, snippets of advice and emulating how others are taking the parenthood challenge could be of great help.

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  1. 1
    Be an effective role model.
    Leadership means serving as an example. Children subconsciously absorb the traits of their parents in childhood and carry them over into the rest of their lives, serving as the template for their lifestyles. You might want to consider your sense of maturity and professionalism once you become a parent. Studies also emphasize that during the earlier stages of development, kids tend to emulate what they see among their primary caregivers – parents, grandparents or nanny. Both your positive and negative actions could be replicated by your children. Use that emulation tendency in a positive manner.
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  2. 2
    Be a source of order in the household.
    Things do not compose themselves in chaos. The house must be kept clean. Family members have to be fed. Bills have to be paid on time and pets have to be looked after and taken care of. Children see these things and learn the value of discipline and getting things done. If you try to raise a child in the same way that you kept yourself as a teenager, you can expect your kids to grow up disorganized and undisciplined. Train them on discipline and consideration for others as early as possible.
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  3. 3
    Provide socialization experiences.
    Kids learn by playing with other kids. By learning social dynamics and enjoying themselves in the company of others, they learn the value of getting things done as a team. This will serve them well for group work in elementary school and team building in the corporate world. Socialization experiences also help develop in your kids the appreciation and respect for individual differences. As a parent, you can never deny the value of social interaction since kids do not grow well they have poor interpersonal skills.
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  4. 4
    Spend quality time with them.
    Don't be afraid to be a child again yourself. Run and play with them and feel no guilt. Talk to them when they have problems. Be gentle with them if they cry. Find activities you both enjoy, even if it involves watching children's shows at your age.
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  5. 5
    Avoid being overcritical and negative.
    Children do not understand logic, but they understand the feeling of being wrong. A bad parent curses and shouts at children. A good parent offers constructive criticism and knows how to handle situations on a mature level even in dealing with kids. Regular feedback will help your children know what's right from what's wrong.
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How to Effectively Guide your Children as they Grow Up

Your children deserve to learn life's important lessons from you and acquire important habits with your help. Children need help in learning what matters to parents. Conversely, parents want their children to grow up and be responsible adults. You want them to learn to think, feel and act with respect not only for other people but for themselves as well. You want them to pursue their own well-being while at the same time, be considerate of the feeling and needs for others.

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Today, there is a wide recognition that most of the children nowadays are no longer learning to act responsibly while they are young. In fact, there have been studies that show how children these days see nothing wrong with cheating on tests. Some even see nothing wrong with taking other things that do not belong to them. As parents, it is therefore your sole obligation to instill in your kids the proper attitude and behavior needed to make them responsible citizens in the future. With so many things you need your children to learn, here are some of the most important manners you must teach your children while they are still young.

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  1. 1
    Respect and compassion for others.
    As part of becoming responsible, your children must learn what respect and compassion for others is. They should be able to show concern for the well-being of others. Compassion is generally developed when you try to see things from the point of view of others and then learning and realizing that their feelings somehow resemble our own. Furthermore, respect for others also include the attitude of treating others fairly as individuals regardless of age, race, sex or ethnic groups.
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  2. 2
    Honesty.
    Honesty simply means telling the truth. It means you do not mislead others for your own benefit. It means trying to make decisions on the basis of evidence and not of prejudice. It includes how you deal with other people and making sure you are being honest with yourself. For your children to fully understand how important it is to be truthful to others, they need to learn that living together depends on trust—that without honesty, learning to trust each other is next to impossible.
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  3. 3
    Courage.
    This is the attitude that is all about taking a firm position and doing what is right despite the risk of possible losses. It means being neither cowardly nor reckless, but facing up to your duties. You need to teach your children the right courage because this attitude is especially important by the time they become teenagers. Your children should be able to stand up against peer pressure when pushed to do the wrong things.
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  4. 4
    Self Respect.
    People who instill within themselves the value of self-respect often take pride in appropriate behaviors and hard-won accomplishments. They don't have to put other down for them to respect themselves. While you help your children instill high standards for themselves, you should also need to let them be aware that failure is never embarrassment most especially if they have done their best.
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How to Effectively Guide your Children as They Grow Up

Because of your love for your children, it is normal and expected for parents to obsessively want to keep your eye on them all the time and forget about themselves. Of course, parents are worried, and sometimes paranoid, that their children will get hurt, especially when they are not looking. As the children grow up, there will always be the parents' apprehension that their children may go astray and make bad decisions. Sometimes, parents end up overdoing it and giving unsolicited guidance. They may be worried about the circle of friends their children have. On the other hand, it's surely a source of pride and fulfillment to see your children grow as mature men and women. No matter how hard it is for parents to admit and accept, the fact remains that children also grow up.

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The greater challenge and responsibility for parents is to prepare their children for the 'growing up' phase. In a few years, children will need to be exposed to the real world, with or without the intervention of parents. Take the steps to nurture your children's strength and independence during their formative years but keep yourself tempered against being overly possessive and careful about them. There are ways to keep your parents' instincts in check.

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  1. 1
    Allow them to make their own mistakes.
    Parents should always be there for their children but avoid being too obsessed about being there for them. When they make mistakes, do not immediately rescue them or cover up for them. Let them take accountability for their mistakes and stand on their own. You can help them process their problems, but you should never always solve it for them. You can show them the door but you do not have to walk them through it. With wounded knees, they'll be able to walk through it just fine.
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  2. 2
    Train them on house chores and tasks.
    Nothing nurtures a sense of home responsibility than sharing the responsibility of the upkeep of the house with the children. From washing dishes to complicated electrical and plumbing problems, you can teach your kids the value of keeping things in order by delegating house chores to them on a daily basis. This early training on chores and tasks may even inspire or guide them in choosing a profession they want to practice in due time.
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  3. 3
    Teach them the value of money.
    Give them a conservative amount allowance for their own needs but teach them how to work for their wants. Money is a touchy subject that can be complicated and confusing for any parent yet it is imperative for any child to be able to learn the value of financial literary while they are young. You may also start teaching them tips and lessons on money and savings.
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  4. 4
    Show them the value of a good heart.
    Take part in outreach and charitable activities and involve your child. Invite your friends' children to your house and host fun activities to create bonding experiences. Give them gifts and encourage them to give to other people in return. By growing up with a good heart yourself, you can assure that your child will grow up with the moral fortitude necessary to bring a soft light into a harsh world. By training them to have a good heart, you are also making them grow up with principles and values.
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Common Mistakes Most Parents Commit in Rearing a Child

Having children or being a parent does not come with parenting manuals. Individuals grow within our obligations through life: as family members, as students, as professionals, as friends and the like. People can learn all these roles and the skills associated with them as they go along, but to be a parent is an entirely different thing altogether. No matter how much you read about how to be an effective parent, nothing prepares you for the responsibility of taking care of another person. On top of that, once the child is born, there are no ways to back out from the obligations. Nobody will surely bear in their conscience the fact that they are a bad parent.

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If you are reading this, you may want to improve your parenting approaches. Here are some of the most common mistakes parents commit while rearing their children. Some of these mistakes could still be corrected while others may already create a lasting effect on the life of a child. Thus, it is highly encouraged to keep yourself in check and stay clear from these parenting blunders.

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  1. 1
    Comparing kids with other children.
    There is no denying that children are a source of personal pride. We take pride in seeing them excel at school or in talent shows. However, by playing favorites and saying it to their faces, you risk your children's confidence by comparing them with their siblings or with other children. Being compared with others, whether positively or negatively, can sink deep into a child's subconscious, affecting how he grows.
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  2. 2
    Arguing with spouse in front of children.
    Marital issues can affect how you raise a child. If you have anger fits in front of your child such as involve nagging and yelling at your partner, the child may assume that this is how adults deal with problems in the real world. Children raised this way usually grow up with passive-aggressive tendencies. Consider going to counseling or have a heart-to-heart talk with your partner in a constructive manner to minimize the effects of such misunderstandings on your children.
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  3. 3
    Bribing your child with gifts.
    Sometimes, it is easy to stop a child's crying fit with a toy, sweet candy or a cookie. If the child cries out loud in a public place, you usually feel more pressured to make him stop from such annoying action. However, resorting to bribes or treats may result in spoiled behavior. Your child may associate yelling, crying and shouting to having treats. Both you and your child will have to work on the discipline of delaying gratification.
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  4. 4
    Not allowing your child to make mistakes.
    Some parents could end up being stage mothers or fathers. If the fall and bruise themselves, you may be tempted to pick them up as quickly so they will not get hurt. If they cheat on their exams, parents tend to cover up for their child's mistake. If they get bullied, parents tend to focus their anger and blame on the other kid instead of teaching their children how to defend themselves. It does no good to keep shielding your child from the realities of the world. In a few years, they'll have to deal with these realities, with or without your guidance. It would be better to teach them self-reliance as early as possible. They will grow up to be adults in a few years so skills such as decision-making and critical-thinking will also be required.
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How to Deal with Teenage Tantrums

Contrary to popular notion, tantrums are not the exclusive territory of toddlers. Even teenagers and adolescents are known for their emotional outbursts. Parents and teachers will no longer be surprised to see their teens slamming doors, stumping feet, shouting and yelling. Actually, teens want to get what they want right away. If they do not get what they want, they are very good in expressing their frustration and resentment in a very intense manner. The most impulsive responses would be retaliating or resolving the problem right away. However, these actions may not cut the problem and may even make things worse.

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It could no longer be denied that the adolescence years would be one of the most complicated stages in everybody's growth and development. It could also be noted that this developmental phase is characterized by numerous physical, emotional and social changes. However, this is not the time for parents to compete with their teens in superiority and authority. Parents must be emotionally and mentally equipped to guide their kids during the most tumultuous time of their life.

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  1. 1
    Pay attention.
    Do not add frustration to your child who is already frustrated by continuing with what you are presently doing and not paying attention to his whams. No matter how trivial or senseless his complaints seem to be to you, stop what you are doing and listen attentively. Sometimes, it may not even work out to your interest to say something. Just stay calm and maintain your composure. It is only when you pay attention to what your child saying can you understand even what he is not saying. Be careful not to raise your voice. Try to validate what your child is saying. Keep your volume low and, eventually, your child will get tired of shouting. Remember to not lose your cool.
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  2. 2
    Discuss potential solutions to the problem with your child.
    Once your child calms down and is already in the disposition to listen to you, try to put things into perspective with him. Do not try to solve your problem on your own. Your child may take it negatively. Chances are, you will arrive at a solution your teen does not agree with. In addition, finding solutions to your child's problem on your own is tantamount to spoiling and spoon-feeding. You have to bear in mind that your teen will be a young adult soon. This will also give you the opportunity to train your teen for the real world ahead – in decision-making, problem-solving and critical thinking.
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  3. 3
    Give your teen a time to cool down.
    If your teenager has not yet calmed down, it is not advisable to move on to the problem-solving phase. Your child is not yet ready for that. You can leave the house for 15 to 20 minutes and take a walk first. However, make sure it would not seem like you are walking out from the discussion. Explain to your teen that you are asking him for a cooling period and you will be back after a while. He may already calm down by that time and you could already talk about how to resolve his issues.
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  4. 4
    Provide positive feedback.
    When your teen has calmed down, give him positive feedback. Your feedback and appreciation will do wonders in making your teen feel better without being too lenient about his qualms.
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Article Info

Categories : Parenting

Recent edits by: Lynn, Eng, estrella sacragon

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