Prevent emotional abuse

Edited by Ephraim, Charmed, Rich, Lynn and 10 others

This article will be on how to prevent emotional abuse while in a relationship. In many cases a person will become too deeply involved in the relationship that they are in and by that time it is too late to fix the issue or get out the relationship.

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These steps will help you to prevent emotional abuse in the relationship and also ways to address the situation with your partner or the relationship that you are currently in at the time. These steps are designed to prevent the emotional abuse and not how to get out of it if you are already in the abusive situation but there will be pointers about the subject just not much elaboration.

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Noting the different types of abuse will help you determine the specific type of abuse that you are trying to prevent.

Emotional abuse is not the same as all other types of abuse so it will be important to understand exactly what is incorporated in being abused emotionally so that you can be effective in preventing the abuse. These types of subjects below contribute to being emotionally abused:

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  1. 1
    Co-dependence- this is when the other person is solely relying on you in order to make it through not only certain things in life but also life itself.
    If this is the reasons for the abuse then understand that the person will have a very hard time letting you anywhere or being away from them too long. They depend on your support in every aspect and they will in turn tend to be a bit possessive of you in the relationship. This point is usually highlighted by a person not allowing their partner to engage in anything that doesn't involve them or their presence this is a sign that emotional abuse is possible and avoiding the person with this trait will help you to prevent the possible abuse that may follow.
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  2. 2
    Time out- your partner gives you what is known as the silent treatment and ignoring you as a punishment for something that you have done that wasn't necessarily to your partners liking in the relationship.
    This is something that will be done often whenever the two of you have a disagreement in the relationship and the partner will use this tactic in order to try to express their anger and reprimand you to either apologize or fix the issue to their liking.
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  3. 3
    Denial- this is shown when the partner cannot take any type of blame for anything that they have done wrong or even apologize.
    Even though they can blatantly be wrong for an action they will continue to deny blame and also will not apologize truthfully, but this doesn't mean that they won't say sorry for they will at times wither nonchalantly or just to get you to be quiet about the situations at the time.
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  4. 4
    Control- your partner will give off the sense that they control you and often making you feel as if you have to ask for permission in order to do certain things whether big or small.
    During this stage you may feel as if you are yet a child all over again which is a feeling that cannot be felt in a successful relationship.
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  5. 5
    Criticism- this feels as if you are being put down or downgraded on a daily basis this is a feeling that nobody wants to feel at all.
    When you are being criticized it also comes with humiliation along with the bad criticism in the relationship, when being criticized you also are not open and honest within yourself to be who you are for the fear of being put down.
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Steps to Preventing Emotional Abuse

  1. 1
    Beware if you start to question yourself personally as you are the only person who will know yourself better than anyone else in the world.
    Along with questioning yourself you will also question your sanity and reality of the world this is a very sensitive situation that you will want to find yourself in during the relationship. Your partner can cause you to second guess yourself when performing any task or even in your thinking process. In the relationship you will find yourself apologizing more than usual and even apologizing for things that you haven't even done in order for you to be apologizing in the first place. Simple choices will become big choices making even the littlest thing become a big issue to you in deciding. Lastly you will find yourself wondering if you are being too sensitive to certain situations pertaining to the relationship and even life.
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  2. 2
    Understand exactly what a healthy relationship consists of so that you can know in a way how things are supposed to be in the relationship.
    By seeing what a healthy relationship consists of you can in turn compare it to your relationship for if you do not know what a healthy relationship is you cannot target the abuse in your relationship. By peeking into healthy relationships you will be able to put a target on what you would like to fix in your relationship to hopefully prevent emotional or any other type of abuse in the relationship. In a healthy relationship the two parties will show a good sense of emotional support and also encouragement for their partner. Also in a healthy relationship the two parties will not engage in physical threats, outbursts or threats while in the relationship. A big sign of a healthy relationship is the two parties not subjecting themselves to name calling. These are signs of a good relationship if you cannot spot any of these characteristics in your relationship then it is clear that you are entering an abusive relationship.
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  3. 3
    Bring up the signs of abuse in the relationship to your partner in order to get the issues out in the air for discussion.
    When doing this ensure that you are doing this in a very calm and sensitive manner instead of just throwing all the accusations at your partner who in turn will make them feel threatened and not respond well in the discussion. A good tactic is to address that you are about to talk about a sensitive subject by letting them know before you string it out on them in an instance which will help them to brace themselves for what you are about to discuss with them in the conversation. If you are afraid of talking to the person directly about the emotional abuse then you can simple just write a letter that in turn the person can read on their own which can prove to be effective for the person will be able to place everything in their mind before approaching you about the situation. When addressing the situation also do your best to say how you feel as in "I" instead of using you too much which will put most of the blame on the other person instead of you expressing how you feel in the relationship.
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  4. 4
    Talk to a family member or a close friend about the situation in order to be able to get the feelings off your chest instead of bottled up inside of yourself.
    While talking to someone else you will also be able to have someone as a reference of validating your feelings to see if anyone else understands how you feel about the situation. Also by telling someone else of how you feel you will get an objective response to the way that you are feeling which can help you in many ways to understand if your feelings are reasonable or not reasonable at all according to another person. Be sure that when choosing the person to talk to that you are not talking to someone who is a mutual friend between you and your partner for it can prove to be a very nonobjective discussion and also not as private as you would like the conversation to be. By telling a mutual friend the conversation can be leaked to your partner which will turn into a big argument possibly for your partner will want to know why you told someone else instead of bringing the issue to them first.
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  5. 5
    Professional help can also be an option if you have found yourself in the predicament and have went too far in the relationship to back out of it easily.
    Seeking professional help will help you in order to get all of the emotions out to someone who will be able to help you in the best way possible. A professional therapist will give you the best advice rather than someone who will not give you the straight and narrow for your friends will give you advice based on how they care sometimes and not for what is best for you in the future. Understand that when seeking professional help it is not only for your relationship but also for yourself also for you may have sustained emotional damage that will affect you later on in life or other relationships in the future. When seeking professional help ensure that you are away from the person so that you can fully retain all the information and practices that were informed to you by your therapist or counselor.
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  6. 6
    Move forward onto new relationships that you will have in the future but take all the things that you have been through in your previous abusive relationship for it will save you from being in a new relationship with the same dangers.
    By you being alert in your next relationship you will notice the characteristics early on which in turn will help you to prevent the being abused emotionally later on in the new relationships. The most important thing is for you not to take on the characteristics of your previous abuser by becoming the new abuser in the new relationship you find yourself in the future, do not lose sight of your true self and focus on being happy instead of wanting to rule or reign over another person.
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Questions and Answers

How emotional abusers string you along?

Most abusive partners follow the typical profile of a charmer. This is how most men and women fall prey to these emotional abusers. The emotional abuser is usually influential, dominant, and has a highly "toxic" personality. Whether it be a domestic, relationship, social, or work-related abuse, these all follow certain phases which escalate and move in circles - unless the abused individual decides to cut loose from the abuse.

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Emotional abusers actually feel superior when another person shows weakness, and they drop abusive remarks publicly just to feed their ego. They choose their prey by knowing who bows to their whim - a subordinate worker or a submissive housewife perhaps. Emotional abusers are insecure and immature individuals who belittle others just to feel and appear bigger than they actually are.

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Emotional abusers string you along by breaking you down as a person, by breaking you down you will feel as if you are nothing and that this person will be the only one to accept you as who you are as a person.

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I have realized I am an emotional abuser. How do I change and improve my behavior?

The best thing that you can do when you realize you are an emotional abuser is get professional help. It feels good when someone listens to you carefully without getting judged. Just be sure to do what your doctor tells you to do. It will also help if you read some books about this condition. Apply things that you learn from your materials and try not to go back to being the abusive you.

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See a doctor or see those professional that knows how to handle a person who is an emotional abuser. Ask their advice and do what should be right. To change, you must know what should be right and follow the doctor's advice or what the doctor told you. You can also hang out with your family, enjoy life with them, have a family bonding. You can also hang out with your friends, choose those friends who are not a bad influence, those who are true friends and those friends that you think they can help you.

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Where can an emotional abuser turn for help and counseling?

There are three options for them to choose.

  • They can be with their family.
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    With their family, most people can enjoy themselves and relax without any hassle.
  • They can be with their most trusted friends.
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    It can be helpful to spend time with friends who are real, and can understand their emotional problems.
  • If the situation is severe, they can seek help of a licensed doctor.
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    A licensed doctor can help people with emotional problems by giving the right medicine, or through counseling.
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Contact your local doctor or health department and they can put you in contact with a local low cost Mental Health Center.

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Article Info

Categories : Relationships

Recent edits by: Dougie, Alma, Marian Raquel F. Roncesvalles

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