Plan an arranged marriage

Edited by Ephraim, Charmed, Eng, Mian Sheilette Ong and 3 others

Arranged marriages are usually conducted as the result of the religious and cultural backgrounds of the parties involved. Even though an arranged marriage may sound forced, some are actually preferred to a traditional marriage.

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About Arranged Marriages

As scary as it may seem for North Americans, in many cultures, arranged marriages are still common.

Arranged marriages have different ways of operating unlike the traditional way of marriage practiced in the world. If you want to arrange a marriage, understand the steps involved in order to complete the deal and also avoid the dangers that are involved for a breach of the contract. Even though this form of marriage is not performed as much as we think it is goof to know that people are still going through arranged marriages in the world today. When arranging a marriage, understand that your reasons are your own and that the children involved may not agree, but if the agreement is for your own gratification or families' gratification, accept your role in the process.

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'The process is completely different so below are some suggestions to a successful arranged marriage.

Why An Arranged Marriage?

The first thing that will need to be established will be the reason for the arranged marriage.

  1. 1
    Connecting families
    .
    Some cultures arrange marriages to either connect two families together for specific reasons pre-determined - often even before the birth of the children.
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  2. 2
    If you can't date, how can you find a mate
    ?
    In some cultures the children are not allowed to date making it basically impossible for them to find a partner, therefore having an arranged marriage is the only option for some couples to find a life partner.
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  3. 3
    Creating a case for celibacy
    .
    In the world today, by the age of 18 the average person, male or female, is no longer a virgin. Arranged marriages are a way to urge their children into staying pure by arranging their marriages - often before the age of 18.
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  4. 4
    Parents know best
    ?
    Arranged marriages are mainly not the choice of the couples going into marriage. Most do not like the idea, while some are actually content with the person they are marrying and are happy not to have to choose. In the end, it doesn't matter if they agree of not. The choice is not theirs to make - it's their parents'.
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On To The Arranged Marriage

  1. 1
    During the arranged marriage, the parents are mostly involved in the candidate for marriage between the two parties
    .
    The parents, in some aspects, do everything on their own without letting the child know anything of the betrothal. In some cases, the child views their partner for the first time on their wedding day. The child's opinion in some cases is respected and taken into consideration when choosing a mate, if the parents involve the child in the decision-making.
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  2. 2
    Before the marriage takes place, one of the parties must make a payment to seal the deal on the contract proposed by marriage
    .
    Sometimes it is the woman who must make the payment to the male, or the male to the woman. Either way, this payment must be made in order to seal the agreement between both parties. Who will make the payment depends on the religion of the people involved, as each religion has their own way to seal the deal and enforcing the contract.
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  3. 3
    A glimpse of the bride or groom
    .
    In some cases the two couples will meet (if allowed) before the wedding day. Usually it's a few days before the wedding takes place. The two will meet each other but not without a chaperone - either their parents, a representative or another family member. There is no way they will be allowed to meet each other alone in any way, shape or form. If they are able to meet each other, it is solely for them to get an idea of who they are marrying and to interact before the wedding, even if it's just once. If they are unhappy with the person there are supposed to marry, there is nothing they can do about it. Complaining will not change the fact that this is the person they are pre-destined to marry. A contract is a contract and it has already been sealed.
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  4. 4
    Just like a traditional wedding, both parties will be involved in the planning of the wedding ceremony
    .
    The bride and groom may be brought in to give their prospective on exactly how they would like their wedding to be performed but the final decision relies on the family member involved in the wedding planning.
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  5. 5
    The issue not most talked about in the arrangement of the marriage is a breach in contract that can result in a problem between both parties resulting in a tremendous conflict involving the contract, future plans of the family and all money involved
    .
    The biggest breach is the virginity of one of the parties, if it is discovered that the chastity of either parties has been broken, it will result in a breach of the contract between both parties. Historically, this has triggered war between families for damaging the future of the child who the innocent, and set up feuds that can last for a very long time.
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Questions and Answers

Must you be a virgin to be in an arranged marriage?

What to do if you are not?

Virginity is not a requirement in marriage, not even in an arranged one. Unless the groom or his family requires you to be, then you should be fine. Besides, how would your soon-to-be groom know if you are or not if you don't tell him? Arranged marriages are not generally set on the basis of virginity, but due to other factors; reasons vary from one culture to another. Two of the most common reasons for arranged marriage are that it's the parents' decision (on both sides) and financial stability or status.

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If you have problems with any of the steps in this article, please ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.

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Article Info

Categories : Marriage

Recent edits by: Maria Sharon Ubando, Lynn, Mian Sheilette Ong

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