Edited by maricon, essa, Eng, VisiHow and 7 others
- 1 Questions and Answers
- 1.1 I lied to my boyfriend about having a Bachelor in law?
- 1.2 Will my boyfriend love the watch I bought as a forgiveness gift?
- 1.3 How do I show proof to my boyfriend that I have changed and it is him I want to spend my life with?
- 1.4 I have fought with my boyfriend very badly and I have hurt his self respect. He is broken up with me l want me back what should I do?
- 1.5 How to make my boyfriend forgive me and start it all over again after lots of things we went through?
- 1.6 Do I really deserve forgiveness for what I have done?
- 2 Comments
Questions and Answers
I lied to my boyfriend about having a Bachelor in law?
I told my boyfriend 2 years ago that I obtained my Bachelor in law and then he wanted me to apply for a Master program. Which of course I could not do, without having a bachelor degree. He found out the truth a few days ago and sent me back to my home country for a while, said he needs a break and feels betrayed and disappointed. I have tried: I cried and explained to him that it was immature to lie to him, I apologized for everything caused by my lies. I think it was caused by: Myself, because there was no real need to lie to my boyfriend. I could have told him the truth since the beginning
You committed a foundational lie at the beginning of the relationship. For two years, you did not tell him the truth. It is good that you understand your mistake. Although he basically put you in a timeout by sending you back to your home country, perhaps you should take this time to look into furthering your education so that you can prove to him that you are serious about making that lie true. The fact that you have been together for two years may allow for him to forgive you if you show that you are going to do all you can to change the lie to a truth. Do not beg to be back with him. Stand on your own two feet and make the necessary changes to establish a future career.
Will my boyfriend love the watch I bought as a forgiveness gift?
During May 2016 on our first night together since we met, we intended on spending the whole weekend but ended up leaving on Saturday morning. My boyfriend found flirt messages from another guy on my phone that morning and became very upset with me, hence I I have not seen him since May, will only be seeing him tomorrow night.. I have tried: Asking for forgiveness, even asked his mother and sister to talk to him for me. I think it was caused by: Me,as the messages were on my phone
This depends on how long you were together before he found the messages. You will have to show him that you only have eyes for him and are not flirting with anyone else. Be prepared for him to place "check points" in the relationship for a period of time so that he can be sure that you are not still speaking with other guys. No one wants to see something like your boyfriend saw. He can never erase those messages from his mind but he may be able to move on and trust you eventually. Buying him a watch will not erase his feelings of doubts and may feel like you are trying to buy his forgiveness. You should wait on offering him any gifts for a stronger point in the relationship.
How do I show proof to my boyfriend that I have changed and it is him I want to spend my life with?
I have cheated on him in the past by hooking up with one his friends by kissing him but it was a mistake we were there talking then his friend kissed me. My fault entirely was to then take money from another guy but this was 3 years ago when I was going through a rough patch in the relationship cause it was kinda broken off so February of this year I told him all of that and he became spiteful by going on social media and start flirting with other females and asking for pictures. I was so shocked and hurt when I saw all of those cause now we have a baby together so when I saw them I picked up and left now I want him back because I want my child to grow with her dad as family and he said I must prove to him that I want him but I don't know how. I have tried: Nothing. I think it was caused by: Me cheating and taking money from guys and the kiss with his friend
Both of you still have a lot of growing up to do and gain maturity. There are several transgressions between the two of you and you should suggest that you seek couples therapy for the sake of parenting the baby. It is not just you that needs to prove trust in the relationship. You were honest with him about what happened and then he retaliates with being promiscuous online with other girls. A few words of caution would be that he was probably doing this with these girls before you told him about your behavior. Therapy would help you both determine if this relationship has a chance but would also help you both arrange a proper parenting relationship should you fall apart as a couple. There is emotional hurt in both of you that needs to be resolved for any hope of this relationship mending and working.
I have fought with my boyfriend very badly and I have hurt his self respect. He is broken up with me l want me back what should I do?
My boyfriend and I had a conversation that turned into a fight, I was so angry that I held his hand and then l assaulted him. He was angry and he broke up with me. l want his forgiveness as l have hurt his self respect and l want him back. l want his forgiveness. It is quite hard for me to convince him what should I do? Do I apologize for my mistakes? I have tried: After 1 week l called him up to talk about my feelings for him and l said that I want to talk about what I did but he wasn't ready to talk. Still, l tried to talk he is now ready to meet but I am afraid that will l be ready to convince him as I want him back with me. l don't want him to go away he has given me a lot of chances for my mistakes l have done but still, I want a last chance to prove myself. I think it was caused by: My madness. l never try to understand him very well but he is always with me. l want to change but I repeat the same mistake again and again but this time I ready want to change. l want a last chance. l need a lot of time to understand things so it is hard for me.
You have anger management issues. Physical assault is never ever okay in a relationship. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence 1 in 4 men experience domestic violence. Your harsh reality is that you are the one in the relationship causing the violence which makes you the abuser. No one deserves to be attacked physically during an argument. You are actually lucky that your boyfriend did not call the police and have you arrested. For this relationship or any future relationship to work, you need to learn how to get your anger in control. You can break the cycle if you get the right coping skills in place. Therapy will help you do this. If you do get back together with your boyfriend, you will want to create an argument treaty. Put restraints in place as to where and how you argue. Only argue while sitting across from each other. Take 10 minute timeouts for each 20 minutes of an argument. Leave the room if you feel that you can't control yourself. Do not escalate a fight before counting to 10.
More questions and answers on this topic can be found here: What can you do to show you trust your boyfriend
How to make my boyfriend forgive me and start it all over again after lots of things we went through?
Me and my boyfriend were in a relationship for almost 3 years, all were going good and we were also going to get married soon. I'm a christian and he is a Hindu, all was good until there were a lot of family interference in terms of marriage. His elder sister and family somehow do not like me and by all means tried to break this marriage up, so my guy said a big no for marriage. When a while he reconsidered the thought and said that he wanted to give this relationship a break for a year with no contact at all, all this while 7 months somehow we were not much in contact just a few little texts here and there. All was somehow getting sorted until he thinks that I'm cheating on him just because I hang out with my few friends. He is not a party freak neither am I, but sometimes he finds posts on Facebook because I hangout with my office colleagues and he doesn't like that fact. I tried to convince him that they are just friends but every now and then all he texts me is a break up message, this time he said he doesn't want to talk to me and want to finish it all at once, please help me, he is a little stubborn as well... There is lot of family interference, he is little unsure as well, he was never like this, but something is definitely disturbing him. I have tried: Sorry messages, letters, emails, gifts, and personal talk, almost everything.. I think it was caused by: Somehow I feel it's my mistake, but he doesn't understand me and take me wrong and the ice on the cake is his family.
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Do I really deserve forgiveness for what I have done?
I hurt him a number of times and every time he forgave me real easily. I just didn't value him ever. This time I am there with a change and really want us to make up. I contacted him once but he refused this time, for the first time. Also, I admit that I could have put more efforts and there might be some change in the situation, but seeing him behave differently for the first time, I was really blank. Maybe this time he doesn't want anything to happen, or maybe he is fed up of forgiving me every time. If his feelings for me has not changed then I am literally ready to do anything. Should I wait, or should I try again or should I not do anything.
Waiting for about two weeks before contacting him again would be a good idea. You have possibly hurt him beyond forgiveness at this point. Contacting him will only bring the pain immediately to him so give him some space to work out his feelings. If he does love you and thinks that he can forgive you then he will contact you. I would not wait beyond a month for him to contact. If that happens then you should just assume that the relationship is over. To not repeat this again in another relationship, you should take this time to work out why you do things to cause emotional pain in a relationship. Seeking a therapist would be able to help you sort out all of your actions and how to avoid them in future relationships.
Categories : Relationships
Recent edits by: BonelaM, Kiddy, Maria