Edited by maricon, essa, Eng, VisiHow and 5 others
- 1 Questions and Answers
- 1.1 My boyfriend caught me cheating what should I say to him?
- 1.2 Do I really deserve forgiveness for what I have done?
- 1.3 How do I make things work for me and my boyfriend?
- 1.4 My boyfriend wants to break up, I don't want to break up?
- 1.5 My boyfriend want to end it with me because I accidentally smoked when I was drunk?
- 1.6 How can I get back my boyfriend when he caught me cheating with another man?
- 1.7 I lied to my boyfriend about having a Bachelor in law?
- 1.8 Will my boyfriend love the watch I bought as a forgiveness gift?
- 1.9 How do I show proof to my boyfriend that I have changed and it is him I want to spend my life with?
- 1.10 I got really drunk and said some mean things that I would never say sober to my boyfriend. He is pretty angry about it. I don't want to lose him. What should I do?
- 1.11 I have fought with my boyfriend very badly and I have hurt his self respect. He is broken up with me l want me back what should I do?
- 2 Comments
Questions and Answers
My boyfriend caught me cheating what should I say to him?
He caught me cheating. Well obviously I'm just trying to make him jealous because he's so cute when he got jealous but he's really angry to me what should I say to him?
You have to tell him the reason that you did that, and, as you know that it has been done with one goal in mind, you have to explain what you have expected from him. Anger may pass over time, but he must be talked into listening to your point of view and the version of what has happened. Also, a lot of people have very different boundaries of cheating: for some, it is even a friendly smile. You have to include local social norms and individual perception and have a long conversation about that. He can also pretend that he is angry, which will mean that he will listen to you more eagerly and, possibly, forgive you. You, however, must take his side as well and act accordingly. If you see that anger is overwhelming, you do not have to joke and be facetious.
Do I really deserve forgiveness for what I have done?
I hurt him a number of times and every time he forgave me real easily. I just didn't value him ever. This time I am there with a change and really want us to make up. I contacted him once but he refused this time, for the first time. Also, I admit that I could have put more efforts and there might be some change in the situation, but seeing him behave differently for the first time, I was really blank. Maybe this time he doesn't want anything to happen, or maybe he is fed up of forgiving me every time. If his feelings for me has not changed then I am literally ready to do anything. Should I wait, or should I try again or should I not do anything.
Waiting for about two weeks before contacting him again would be a good idea. You have possibly hurt him beyond forgiveness at this point. Contacting him will only bring the pain immediately to him so give him some space to work out his feelings. If he does love you and thinks that he can forgive you then he will contact you. I would not wait beyond a month for him to contact. If that happens then you should just assume that the relationship is over. To not repeat this again in another relationship, you should take this time to work out why you do things to cause emotional pain in a relationship. Seeking a therapist would be able to help you sort out all of your actions and how to avoid them in future relationships.
How do I make things work for me and my boyfriend?
I have made several mistakes, making my boyfriend angry and doubting our relationship.. I have tried: I have explained my mistakes and apologized to him, he accepted but still very very angry.. I think it was caused by: I over reacted about someone he knows for a long time and we have talked about it before but I repeated the same thing again.
You will have to give him a bit of time. He is angry most likely because he is feeling controlled by your behavior and that you do not trust him. Write him a letter about how you realize that your insecurities have caused a rift in the relationship and that you are going to do all you can to trust him in the future. Instead of confronting him with each new suspicion or complaint, write them down in a journal. Also, note positive things for each negative. See if you can transition the journal into positives as you progress. Thought journals have been shown to help those with insecurities in a relationship. Instead of attacking our partners, we write it down and you will be surprised at how your relationship and you will change for the better.
My boyfriend wants to break up, I don't want to break up?
He logged in my Facebook account, and read my past SMS & he is angry about this. I want him back in relationship asap. I have tried: 2 days. I think it was caused by: My friendly & flirty nature
This is a tough situation where just an apology from one side may only hurt the resolution of the problem. First of all, he violated your privacy and broke laws to spy on you. If you apologize to him, that will signal as a green light to his anger and unlawful and unethical behavior. Consider this than revising your relationship. You have the full right to be friendly and flirty within adequate limits defined by your own cultural and social background but keep in mind that if he did not see any feelings from you and saw flirt with others, then that might have been the reason for his decision to end the relationship. Besides, your SMS and Facebook messages might have predated your meeting your boyfriend too. To get out of the hard situation, you may need to get a relationship advice and even have a serious tete-a-tete conversation with your partner discussing calmly, calmness being the condition that has to be talked over beforehand, what you both like or dislike in the behavior of each other. If the stalemate situation can be resolved with compromises and you expect a great future together, then you both will, most likely, forgive each other, and go on with being a couple.
My boyfriend want to end it with me because I accidentally smoked when I was drunk?
My boyfriend want to break up with me because he doesn't want a wife that smokes. I accidentally smoked in front of him when I was drunk, he knows I was drunk and I accidentally was smoking.. I have tried: I tried to say sorry and ask for forgiveness, and he said he just wants us to stay friends. I think it was caused by: my smoking
Your boyfriend was angry at you for a moment. If he really intended to marry you, then there should be nothing that stops him from doing that. If he is a nonsmoker, then he can be fully understood that he has no desire to deal with a casual smoker on a daily basis (which can be a real nightmare for us, nonsmokers); but he also ignored your being drunk, which may hint at his being not that strict. However, if he both smokes and drinks, then he might be just playing with you; and you should even consider whether you wish to stay friends. Your best solution is to distance yourself from him for some time and explain that you are set on giving up smoking and drinking for him forever, as the latter may someday lead to the former. If you are intent on having your boyfriend in your life forever, then you have to overcome your bad habits. In addition to that, make sure that he never drinks or smokes either (by his stating or promising that): the support should be mutual. If you are ready for this and explain everything to him earnestly, then he will, most likely, forgive you after a long period of time, wanting you back in his life, which is why you need to distance yourself for some time, give up drinking or smoking, if he did, and share his life with you.
How can I get back my boyfriend when he caught me cheating with another man?
He found some love text in my inbox which I was communicating with the other man.and he is so mad at me. I have tried: I have said sorry and have promised him to change and never do it again
Forgiveness is completely up to him. You can't force someone to procure an emotion of forgiveness. Your options left are to show him that you are changing. You may want to offer him full access to your cell phone so that he can check your communication to rebuild trust. Avoid all temptation and if that means deactivating your social media accounts or not going out with friends for awhile, it would be a good idea to make that change. Understand that he will be putting your actions under a microscope until he can relax as he builds trust.
I lied to my boyfriend about having a Bachelor in law?
I told my boyfriend 2 years ago that I obtained my Bachelor in law and then he wanted me to apply for a Master program. Which of course I could not do, without having a bachelor degree. He found out the truth a few days ago and sent me back to my home country for a while, said he needs a break and feels betrayed and disappointed. I have tried: I cried and explained to him that it was immature to lie to him, I apologized for everything caused by my lies. I think it was caused by: Myself, because there was no real need to lie to my boyfriend. I could have told him the truth since the beginning
You committed a foundational lie at the beginning of the relationship. For two years, you did not tell him the truth. It is good that you understand your mistake. Although he basically put you in a timeout by sending you back to your home country, perhaps you should take this time to look into furthering your education so that you can prove to him that you are serious about making that lie true. The fact that you have been together for two years may allow for him to forgive you if you show that you are going to do all you can to change the lie to a truth. Do not beg to be back with him. Stand on your own two feet and make the necessary changes to establish a future career.
Will my boyfriend love the watch I bought as a forgiveness gift?
During May 2016 on our first night together since we met, we intended on spending the whole weekend but ended up leaving on Saturday morning. My boyfriend found flirt messages from another guy on my phone that morning and became very upset with me, hence I I have not seen him since May, will only be seeing him tomorrow night.. I have tried: Asking for forgiveness, even asked his mother and sister to talk to him for me. I think it was caused by: Me,as the messages were on my phone
This depends on how long you were together before he found the messages. You will have to show him that you only have eyes for him and are not flirting with anyone else. Be prepared for him to place "check points" in the relationship for a period of time so that he can be sure that you are not still speaking with other guys. No one wants to see something like your boyfriend saw. He can never erase those messages from his mind but he may be able to move on and trust you eventually. Buying him a watch will not erase his feelings of doubts and may feel like you are trying to buy his forgiveness. You should wait on offering him any gifts for a stronger point in the relationship.
How do I show proof to my boyfriend that I have changed and it is him I want to spend my life with?
I have cheated on him in the past by hooking up with one his friends by kissing him but it was a mistake we were there talking then his friend kissed me. My fault entirely was to then take money from another guy but this was 3 years ago when I was going through a rough patch in the relationship cause it was kinda broken off so February of this year I told him all of that and he became spiteful by going on social media and start flirting with other females and asking for pictures. I was so shocked and hurt when I saw all of those cause now we have a baby together so when I saw them I picked up and left now I want him back because I want my child to grow with her dad as family and he said I must prove to him that I want him but I don't know how. I have tried: Nothing. I think it was caused by: Me cheating and taking money from guys and the kiss with his friend
Both of you still have a lot of growing up to do and gain maturity. There are several transgressions between the two of you and you should suggest that you seek couples therapy for the sake of parenting the baby. It is not just you that needs to prove trust in the relationship. You were honest with him about what happened and then he retaliates with being promiscuous online with other girls. A few words of caution would be that he was probably doing this with these girls before you told him about your behavior. Therapy would help you both determine if this relationship has a chance but would also help you both arrange a proper parenting relationship should you fall apart as a couple. There is emotional hurt in both of you that needs to be resolved for any hope of this relationship mending and working.
I got really drunk and said some mean things that I would never say sober to my boyfriend. He is pretty angry about it. I don't want to lose him. What should I do?
I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a few months now. Although we have our simple disagreements we never had any fights. On Saturday after a party at my house, we got into an argument that I don't quite recall why. After a few days of cold shoulders, he told me what I had said to him but I do not remember. The fact I said I don't remember made him feel very angry because he thought I was lying to get out of the situation with no blame. I honestly do not remember. I know we had an argument but I underestimated the impact because we made love and went to sleep and woke up together. The next day I knew something wasn't right but I was also dealing with a hangover headache. I don't want to lose my boyfriend, he is a really good guy though sometimes hard to access his emotions. I apologized last night so many times. I don't know what to do going forward. How can I make him understand how much I didn't mean what he tells me I said? What can I do not to lose him?. I have tried: Verbal apologies, texts and begging. I think it was caused by: I was drunk
He will probably get over this. You will just have to overwhelm him with how much you love him and want him to stay in your life. For the time being, you should avoid becoming drunk to the point that you turn into a vicious person. It is not the words you said but how you turned into this person that has your boyfriend rethinking his role in the relationship. Angry intoxication happens to several people. If you become this way, you will want to make sure that you do not drink to that level so that you can keep those feelings and words from flowing.
I have fought with my boyfriend very badly and I have hurt his self respect. He is broken up with me l want me back what should I do?
My boyfriend and I had a conversation that turned into a fight, I was so angry that I held his hand and then l assaulted him. He was angry and he broke up with me. l want his forgiveness as l have hurt his self respect and l want him back. l want his forgiveness. It is quite hard for me to convince him what should I do? Do I apologize for my mistakes? I have tried: After 1 week l called him up to talk about my feelings for him and l said that I want to talk about what I did but he wasn't ready to talk. Still, l tried to talk he is now ready to meet but I am afraid that will l be ready to convince him as I want him back with me. l don't want him to go away he has given me a lot of chances for my mistakes l have done but still, I want a last chance to prove myself. I think it was caused by: My madness. l never try to understand him very well but he is always with me. l want to change but I repeat the same mistake again and again but this time I ready want to change. l want a last chance. l need a lot of time to understand things so it is hard for me.
You have anger management issues. Physical assault is never ever okay in a relationship. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence 1 in 4 men experience domestic violence. Your harsh reality is that you are the one in the relationship causing the violence which makes you the abuser. No one deserves to be attacked physically during an argument. You are actually lucky that your boyfriend did not call the police and have you arrested. For this relationship or any future relationship to work, you need to learn how to get your anger in control. You can break the cycle if you get the right coping skills in place. Therapy will help you do this. If you do get back together with your boyfriend, you will want to create an argument treaty. Put restraints in place as to where and how you argue. Only argue while sitting across from each other. Take 10 minute timeouts for each 20 minutes of an argument. Leave the room if you feel that you can't control yourself. Do not escalate a fight before counting to 10.
- If you have problems with any of these steps, ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.
Categories : Relationships
Recent edits by: Maria, Anjie78667, amnazahid