Make sure your second marriage lasts
Edited by Ephraim, Charmed, Eng
Many people in this day in age have to face getting married for the second time in their life and they just as the first marriage do not foresee the marriage ending up in yet another divorce but it will take some steps to ensure that this marriage is not subjected to the same mistakes as the first marriage. The following steps will help you make the second chance your final attempt at marriage.
- 1When you are dealing with your second marriage be sure to keep your past marriage in the past and to not include it in this marriage, that is not to say that you cannot learn from your past mistakes of your last one but keep that in the back of your mind during your second marriage.Also any hurt or tragedy that was faced in the last marriage need s to stay in your last marriage needs to stay in your past marriage. If you are still suffering from your last marriage then you will not be able to give your %100 to the new marriage that you are in at the time so until you let go of your past you will affect your current marriage. When going into your second marriage it is important that you are fully healed from your last marriage before stepping into another one, also do not look toward another marriage as an escape from the hurt as it may work for s short period time but its not a temporary fix.Advertisement
- 2When going into your second marriage be sure that this is what you want to do, if your first marriage ended for a specific reason ensure that you will not have the same conflict in this marriage.Before going into the next marriage make sure that you know who the other person is and what they are about before joining them in marriage. Understand that the first marriage for you was a test period and now that you know what was wrong you can ensure success in this marriage. Also with your new partner you will need to compare what you both expect in this new marriage to ensure that you two are on the same page.Advertisement
- 3When going into your second marriage ensure to keep the need and bond between you and your partner based on the children.Just like a regular marriage you will need to also have time for the two of you and not to always include the kids in everything that the two partners do during the marriage. During this stage of the second marriage it is good to focus on the relationship between the partners while keeping the kids out of the mix even if a little bit, if you and your partner are happy it will benefit the child in a great way to witness love and happiness even without having them tag along on every activity that you and your partner embark on.
- 4Realize when you are taking your anger out on your new partner based on a previous partner.During the marriage things will be done and performed that will remind you of good or bad things from your previous marriage but it is important to not make your new partner suffer for the wrong doings of the person who was around previously. If you do happen to respond negatively to your new spouse because of your own actions pertaining to your old partner then reassure them that the issue will be handled a different way next time as your spouse will appreciate the correction you are willing to make with yourself to eliminate the conflict coming up again in the marriage.
- 5As a couple the two of you will need to come up with different ways to deal with certain situations as an issue from your previous marriage may have been an argument that doesn't need to transpire with your new partner at the time.So establish when a conflict arises the talk of whether the issue is worth arguing over or just setting up a system to help the conflict eliminate itself for now and future conflicts.
- 6Couple support is a big thing in the second marriage even bigger than the first marriage for anything that was not accomplished because of the first marriage can be completed through support either for or by the new partner.If a partner is in a dilemma it is important to give that partner the attention required for you know not if the other was ignored by previous partner so it is imperative to always listen to the other partner to help understand more and to strengthen the relationship.
- 7When dealing with the new spouse ensure that you are accepting that person for what they are and not for what you want them to be which can prove to be a conflict.If your last partner was one way it is important to find a partner that is suitable to your needs and also a person you can love instead of trying to change that person into what you want, if that person is the same as your last there is no reason to even engage in starting a relationship with that person. By now you should have realize through your first marriage that changing someone is not always an available option, the positive way to think on this subject is that you are going to get what you see which limits the chance of disappointment and you even thinking that there is a chance that you can change this person into what you want in the future. So before jumping into the relationship feel out your potential new partner better so that you know exactly what you are getting yourself into for possibly the rest of your life and also remember that if you think that this person is a project for you to create the person you want that it is not always possibly and can result in yet another divorce.Advertisement
- If you have problems with any of these steps, ask a question for more help, or post in the comments section below.
Categories : Marriage
Recent edits by: Charmed, Ephraim