Make a Long Distance Relationship Work for You

Edited by Mian Sheilette Ong, Eng, Robbi, Lynn and 5 others

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They say life finds a way…well, so does love. It overlooks space, time, sexual orientation, beliefs, looks, health, age, culture, economic status, and, of course, distance. You'll probably be amazed at how different people end up having unique relationships, even if they are many miles apart. Couples who are successful in a long distance relationship are impressive because their levels of trust, love and hard work are double or even triple that required by a more traditional relationship. They stand strong together, even though there are many temptations that hover over them or surround them. Long distance relationships are not for everyone. It takes a lot of effort and a lot of heart to keep the connection strong. If you are currently in this type of relationship, then you should pause and reflect to see if you're doing things right or if there is something more you could bring to the table of love.

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Why People Have Long Distance Relationships

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Many people these days resort to having long distance relationships for several reasons.

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    They don't have the time to go out and mingle with the "single and available" crowd where they are
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    There are professionals who spend their waking hours in front of the computer. That is why they find it convenient to search for love online. #They are already in a relationship, and have to work or study in a different city, state, or country. This situation is common for college students and young professionals who need to establish themselves first.
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  2. 2
    Others may find themselves in long distance relationships because they have given up finding love within their own circles or locality
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    Some have this type of relationship just may want to try something different. It can be a bit exciting to get to know and love a person miles away from you.
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  3. 3
    What started out as an online friendship might develop into stronger feelings, and suddenly, you find yourself in a long distance relationship.
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Advantages of Having a Long Distance Relationship

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Admittedly, some relationships whose team players are always around each other have their difficult moments. For those engaged in long distance relationships, it can be beneficial for you and your partner. Below are some of the advantages of having a long distance relationship.

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  1. 1
    You can always spend time with your friends
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    Conventional relationships often leave loyal friends on the sidelines or in the back seat much of the time. If you're always with your partner, you have to sacrifice special gatherings with friends. With long distance relationships, you can spend time with your friends without hearing your partner complaining about it.
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  2. 2
    Your and you partner have varied experiences
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    You won't have to worry about your partner telling you that you should not do this just because he or she is not with you. You won't even have to feel like you're abandoning your partner at all. If you have different activities to do, then you have more things to talk about.
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    No one is taken for granted
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    You only know how valuable your partner is when you're apart from each other. It's a kind of wake-up call when you're in a long distance relationship because it constantly reminds you of how important that person is in your life.
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  4. 4
    Conversations are more valued
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    You may have noticed, conventional couples that are always together sometimes run out of things to say. They may be dining in a restaurant, quietly eating with little to say to one another. Often, many of them just watch TV or simply don't talk. If you are in a long distance relationship, you value every opportunity to talk with each other. You also learn how to listen to your partner better.
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  5. 5
    You gain independence
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    Independence is a good thing for couples in long distance relationships. Even from a distance, your partner can root for you and support you emotionally so that you can do what you do more efficiently. In turn, you gain more confidence in yourself and in what you do. This is a good way of accomplishing your goals individually so that you could reap the results together someday.
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  6. 6
    You don't get very choosy with your dates
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    Just being together is enough when you have a long distance relationship. It doesn't really matter if you just decide to hang out at home or spend a few days somewhere special. Going out every day is not practical anymore and it tends to become a boring routine over time.
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    Both of you have your physical personal space
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    Just being alone is something that every couple requires. Spending time alone on your basic activities, seeing old friends, spending time with your family or even reading a good book is necessary for a healthy relationship. Sometimes, you just have to recuperate by yourself by doing things alone such as going to the spa, having a facial, or taking a class. Private time helps you to unwind and to relax and allows you to enjoy the time that you do have together much more.
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How You Can Make a Long Distance Relationship Work

Like any other relationship, long distance relationships can work. All you have to do is put extra effort into it, as well as a lot of love. Below are some pointers on how you can make your long distance relationship work:

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    Speak freely about how you feel
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    It is vital for both of you to express how you feel, especially since you cannot hold each other all the time. If you feel that something is bothering you, don't be afraid to let your partner know about it. It is important to iron out misunderstandings and to establish a clear pathway for your communication as a couple. It doesn't matter if you're ranting about a game or raving about a new dress you bought. Just let your partner know that he or she is significant enough to know everything that you think about, or ultimately feel.
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    Take the time to plan your visits
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    Planning your visits with each other is a practical and economical way to take care of your long distance relationship. Instead of spending your money on an unplanned ticket, spend it on your dates when you see each other. You should go online a few weeks ahead of your planned trip to make sure you get less expensive tickets and better seating.
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  3. 3
    Even when apart, make sure you do something at the same time
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    This allows you to be together even if you are far apart. Activities such as eating, watching a movie, playing a game, or even napping can be done online. Doing these establishes your bond and makes both of you feel closer even if you only do these things through the Internet.
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  4. 4
    Avoid being jealous of your partner's friends
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    Try to feel okay with your partner spending time with his or her friends. It may be difficult at first, especially if your partner has friends of the opposite sex. If you become jealous then your partner might think you're fooling around or being paranoid. Trust your partner. The basis of any good relationship, whether it is close or long distance is going to be the ability to trust each other. Staying close in a long distance relationship is possible, but it takes a little extra effort.
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  5. 5
    Use your video chatting applications on a regular basis
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    Technology has been kind enough to provide us with various applications that enable us to communicate better with each other. Video chat applications can be used on your desktop and mobile devices. Video chatting enhances your relationship, especially when it comes to intimacy. You could see each other and be part of each other's activities while talking. It even makes it a lot easier to resolve any issues because you could see each other's facial expressions. Check out Google Voice, Digsby, Skype, Vox Ox, Facetime, and Vonage, so that you won't have to burn a large hole in your pockets while keeping in touch with your partner.
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  6. 6
    Use your phone
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    If you don't have access to the Internet, you could just use your phone to send quick messages to your partner. It can be a bit costly if you do this all the time so it would be better to access other options through the internet. You can use this method for emergencies or if you just want to make sure that your partner is safe, or a sweet I love you just before bed.
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  7. 7
    Avoid over-analyzing things
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    There may be some situations that don't go your way, like a delayed visit or a missed greeting. Things happen and as you're probably not psychic, you won't be able to avoid things you cannot control. Keep an open mind and adjust. Species have survived through millennia by adapting. Relationships can survive that way, too.
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  8. 8
    Send sexy love packages from time to time
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    This will really keep your long distance relationship burning hot. Create a care package that is full of things your partner loves. Also, insert love messages or sexy letters in between the package slots for extra heat.
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    Share intimacy online
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    Through the latest technology, you can strengthen your long distance relationship more by sharing intimacy. It is the best way to reassure one another of your love and undivided attention. You can do this by talking sexy and being sexy during your video chats. You can also use the video chat applications you have to watch sexy movies together.
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Tips

  • Establish a schedule to video chat if both of you have 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. jobs.
  • If you are in different time zones, sacrifice a little and extend your waking hours for each other, or wake early.
  • Invest in a computer with a reliable Internet connection to keep in touch without spending a whole lot.
  • Maintain trust.
  • Remember and celebrate special occasions together.

Questions and Answers

How should I work it out with my boyfriend if he doesn't want to Skype?

Hi, Me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly 2 years, and we have never seen each other, except the pictures he sends me, and I send him. I am just confused, because whenever I ask him to Skype, he comes up with a good excuse, and changes the topic, right after. I hate it. We have been together for so long time and he still doesn't want to Skype with me. And it's weird because he used to get angry and irritated whenever I asked him about skyping. I asked him if he wants to Skype at all. And he said yes, soon when I will get time for it. But his "soon" never comes. I just don't want to ask him 1000 times and he just comes with excuses. I hope you can help me!

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Do you know the term, Catfish? A Catfish is someone who is pretending to be someone else online, either to get money, or attention, or friends, or lovers. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the first sign someone is not who they say they are when you only have a relationship with them online is when they won't Skype. Often times the person might be telling you they're a guy, but they are a girl – and the other way around. Have you talked on the phone? If yes, it may be the sex you're expecting, but not the person you're expecting. Bit the bullet. Tell your friend you won't continue unless you Skype. If he refuses, there's a very good chance he's not a he, or at the very least, not an honest person. If he can't spare five minutes to Skype…he's hiding something. Sometimes, if people are insecure about their looks, they'll post pictures of someone else. This might make them reluctant to Skype with you because then you'll know their secret.

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How can I be the understanding Girlfriend in a long distance relationship, yet get his attention?

I am in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend. We have been together for 10 months. He studies medicine so we don't really talk as much as other couples on long distance do. I have a very limited time with him, but sometimes he doesn't text me enough or call me enough I don't feel that he is keeping in the effort as much as I do and whenever I ask for more attention he says that I'm always up for fights. I always feel like an addition to his life rather than being a part of his life. I want to be the understanding girlfriend my boyfriend wants me to be, yet get his attention.

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How to get my boyfriend's attention in a long distance and stop being the jealous girlfriend?

I am in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend. We have been in a relationship for 10 months and still going on. He studies medicine so he does have a busy schedule and makes time for me and as he says he is giving me the maximum he can but at times I feel like he is not keeping up the effort as much as I am and that he doesn't text me or call me enough. At times he would ignore me for 4-7 hours and then text me saying that he was out with his friends and that bothers, me the fact that he doesn't even say brb he wants me to understand by myself that he got busy and be in a good mood when he texts me back. I want to get my boyfriend's attention just like any other girl does, yet I want him to see that I understand and I do give him his own space. I am also the very jealous type of girlfriend so if he helps any of his friends that are of the other sex it would flip my mood, I want to stop being jealous and be the perfect girlfriend for my boyfriend so that he loves me more

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APA (American Psychological Association)
Make a Long Distance Relationship Work for You. (2017). In VisiHow. Retrieved Mar 27, 2017, from http://visihow.com/Make_a_Long_Distance_Relationship_Work_for_You

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MLA (Modern Language Association) "Make a Long Distance Relationship Work for You." VisiHow, visihow.com/Make_a_Long_Distance_Relationship_Work_for_You Accessed 27 Mar 2017.

Chicago / Turabian VisiHow.com. "Make a Long Distance Relationship Work for You." Accessed Mar 27, 2017. http://visihow.com/Make_a_Long_Distance_Relationship_Work_for_You.

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Categories : Romantic

Recent edits by: Nuance, Doug Collins, Wizlan

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