Make a Long Distance Relationship Work
Edited by Preetam Kaushik, Shelley, Melissa Rae, Eng and 3 others
You met by destiny, you liked each other's ways, and soon you fell head over heels in love. But just like Noah and Allie in Sparks' "Notebook", it was love that blossomed in the sweet summer, and soon you were compelled to part by virtue of your profession or the need to go back to your home. Long distance relationships do not work, so it's best to avoid them. Loneliness cripples you from the inside, satisfaction levels plummet, and you are deprived of the feelings of warmth and love.
That is what you have always heard, and until now, you have consciously stuck to this prophecy. But there is no guarantee when and where the spark of love tugs at your heartstrings. After all, who can deny the fact that distance makes the heart grow fonder? You just need to have the determination of unflinching commitment, give time for your partner, and of course, don your creative hats to keep the flame burning. If you are hesitant about your long distance love and pondering how to keep the spark alive without having the opportunity to physically be with your partner, take a glimpse at some of these tips.
- 1 Never Let Go of Your Trust
- 2 Do Things at the Same Time
- 3 Do Not Go Overboard with Conversation
- 4 Maintain Regular Communication
- 5 Keep the Sparks of Love and Passion Burning Virtually
- 6 Plan Your Trips with Each Other
- 7 Shower Each Other with Surprises
- 8 Take Interest in Each Other's Schedules
- 9 Don't Stalk Your Partner
- 10 Learn to Enjoy Your Own Space
- 11 Final Words
- 12 Questions and Answers
- 13 Comments
Never Let Go of Your Trust
Trust is the most important factor that rules a long distance relationship. A relationship based on trust and commitment can go a long way, much beyond those mushy love tales. A single incident of distrust can shatter your relationship to smithereens. Since you are far away from each other and deprived of the opportunities to get cozy and cuddly, you do tend to get swayed away by tempting circumstances. So just make it a habit of building your trust by routine calling, such as post-work or before bedtime, pop a message of love into your partner's inbox sometime one day, or just tell your partner you wish to catch their loving expression once in the evening.
It is worthwhile to keep out any sort of secrecy and be clear and transparent about everything if you know your partner would take it in the right spirit. Even if you are just going on a casual dine-out with your ex-fling or having a tete-a-tete with your college admirer at the college fete, be sure to confide in your partner. However, if your partner is too possessive of you, keep such discussions at bay. It is better to keep your booze party a secret than to tell about it and trigger unnecessary altercations.
Do Things at the Same Time
How about getting the feeling of being with each other by enjoying things together at the same time? If your partner is good at singing and you love musing over the guitar, get on a video call and enjoy your favorite tune together. Or how about watching a movie that you both love or get on video chat and groove and dance in each other's arms virtually with some romantic number playing at the backdrop? Doing things simultaneously brings you closer and gives you the feeling of being by your partner's side.
Do Not Go Overboard with Conversation
Conversation is important, but going overboard by calling up all the time may not work well. Too much interference is bad for your relationship and more so when you are not around to pacify or make up for your obsessive behavior. Know when to delight your partner with your sensuous messages. Make a call just when you know your partner is about to get up in the morning with a passionate "miss you" statement. Nothing can arouse the other person more than such short, sweet and sensual messages or short calls thrown at the right junctures. In fact, it will keep your partner in high spirit throughout the day.
Maintain Regular Communication
Communication is the key to long distance relationships, whether you are a much-in-love couple, a newly-married one or one with many years of marital life. Stating your whereabouts or how you are spending your days with your colleagues or friends can make your partner feel wanted, while subtly conveying the message that he or she is still missed despite the hullabaloo in your life. Gossips that are creating a flurry in your respective groups are also a great way to brighten up your chat sessions. When you are feeling low or if you've had a fight, dump the text and go for the call. Talking at such times brings greater clarity to your expressions and draws you closer to one another.
Keep the Sparks of Love and Passion Burning Virtually
Getting cozy in your partner's arms may not be an achievable option while you are oceans apart from each other. Yet, who says you need to hold on to the reigns of your passion and lead the life of a hermit till you meet next? Keeping up the passion burning also ensures that your desperate soul does not indulge in any sort of infidelity. Send sensuous messages to your partner, indulge in talks even at the weirdest of hours and go ahead with pecking, hugging and extolling your love over video chatting sessions. Shop for stunning lingerie and woo him by donning it with a candlelit backdrop. Give your desire the oomph with candid and intense indulgences that the other person simply cannot resist.
Plan Your Trips with Each Other
You always look forward to that time of the year when you will be meeting the love of your life. But do you plan enough for those few days when you feel you would be inseparable? Right planning can give a proper direction to your monthly or yearly visits, while also endowing you the opportunity to ponder on different things you can do together. Think about the places you would love to visit together or trips that were on your mind for a long time. Plan dine-outs at gastronomic joints you haven't been to before or adventure sites that you would love to explore. Even while you plan for the two of you, be sure to include visits to your individual families in your itinerary. Whether you are married or planning to get betrothed sometime in the future, nurturing the bond with your respective families is equally important. With the restricted time frame that you have on your visits, taking her family out for dinner, or preparing a special lunch for his people would really be an appreciable gesture and go a long way to develop stronger relationships.
Shower Each Other with Surprises
Planned holidays or visits are exciting. But imagine your husband ringing the doorbell at the wee hours of the night a few days before he is supposed to turn up! Or your girl surprising you with a room full of flowers, champagne and candles on your birthday just after she states she would not be able to make it for your special day! Surprises from your loved ones ignite the adrenaline rush and ups your mood in an instant, especially when they come from the love of your life. Of course, you need to ensure that the surprise comes as a pleasant one. You should have a fair idea about your partner's schedule, so as not to disturb it at the wrong time.
Take Interest in Each Other's Schedules
Delving deeper into the above point, it is crucial that you be aware of your partner's important dates and schedules way ahead of time. If you are in the mushy youth love phase of your college days, you ought to know your girl's examination dates. If you plan to make a surprise trip to the place where your husband resides on account of work, make sure you know he does not have any important business meetings or trips elsewhere.
Don't Stalk Your Partner
Keeping tabs on your partner in a casual and innocent manner often conveys the message that the other person is loved and wanted. However, do not let that twinge of overwhelming jealousy override your sense of rightness and pragmatism and trigger you to start trailing your partner on a regular basis. A message from an anonymous person on a social media platform or a few unattended calls at your partner's end should not make you go bananas pondering who it is or where your partner is at the moment. As deliberated in one of the first points, trust is the very foundation of long distance relationships, and being obsessive, envious or suspicious of your partner's activities can be detrimental to your relationship.
For one thing, since you are residing in places far away from where your partner dwells, it is natural that they would mingle with other people and enjoy time spent with them. In such situations, it is equally natural for you to feel lonely and wishing that you, too, could be there. However, destiny had other plans for you, and you need to come to terms with it. Hence, instead of brooding over what your partner might be doing with their friends or relatives, or letting your mind play crooked games as to doubting your partner's whereabouts, think optimistically. Often it helps to have a straight chat with your partner and coming to the understanding that, had you been there in the same city or town, you would be enjoying this time with friends together.
Learn to Enjoy Your Own Space
You miss your partner, you long to be with your partner and you just do not feel like spending time with anyone else. Remember, by depriving yourself of the little things that are a part and parcel of everyday life, you are in a way restricting your partner's activities, as well. You regret when your partner goes out with friends and you are left at home alone, far, far away. You feel neglected even when your partner lovingly makes promises of talking to you later, because you feel that your partner is indulging their family more than you. You feel dejected when all your partner thinks about is their group of friends, hanging out with them at clubs or hitting the theater instead of taking the opportunity to chat with you on Skype. Rather than encouraging such disillusioning and depressing thoughts, why not make the best of the time to engage in something which you love, too? If none of your friends or relatives are available to spend some time with, pamper yourself with absolute "me" time. Indulge in a lip smacking ice cream treat, watch your favorite movie, take a walk or ride on your bicycle to places you've never explored before.
There is no such thing as a perfect relationship or a perfectly happy couple. Whether you are staying together or are miles apart, nurturing the bond and keeping the fire burning requires both sides to put in some effort. You must be ready to go along with the ebb and flow of life, yet stick with each other despite all odds. With enough determination, commitment and love, you can improve your chances of having a happy and healthy long distance relationship.
Questions and Answers
What the hell am I doing wrong?
Am I loving too much my Ldr?. I am in a Ldr since late of December 2015 with a guy from Madrid!. I am currently living in Greece, we start going out while I was there and when I left we start talking through Facebook Skype, making plans about having a relationship , we set some future goals, which though I don't know if he really mean these goals, I do... the thing is that after three months and two trips (one from him to my country, the second from me to his , meeting his parents) he is studying for the university, I was a little bit worried and sad, because somedays he went out with his friends and coming back in the morning, and then after we talked and finally came in a conclusion, still after a week is a little different , I know and I try to support him with his daily things and responsibilities but I feel that I am no longer a huge priority, he is fitting me inside his daily life, like we are skyping and he is studying and he tries to give me attention, cause if he doesn't I will start to feel unsure about his feelings, but the thing is that I am very very anxious of the future , and that even though some of the days we spend them together , we haven't done any serious conversation about the future lately, I am trying to do things toward to him, learning his culture, preparing myself if have to move on with him in order to be together, but I feel that I am the only one in the relationship right now.and these days he is acting angry cause I am not smiling anymore and I seem sad..... I have tried: Talking with him, trying to solve things,. I think it was caused by: His inability to make good schedule and that he is putting secondly things as priorities instead of his studying and his relationship
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Help me to build my relationship again?
I did so much care about her and help her always, we have talked so much, she have few good close male friends. One is a medical student like me...One day he was there to meet her when I was going near to her quarters, I got really upset. After that I questioned her. Then we had silent for a week, and she has not talked with me much, but she has love for me still. She talked about that guy too. Told me that he is so funny guy. I asked her, but she told me that they are only friends. But they are coming online on the same time, I feel bad. I'm so worried. Please help me. I have tried: I searched about the boy by some other girl and that was found by my girl and she told me not to do such things and she asked sorry for her too, because she told that it. What happened was due to her act of not talking with me, and she told her that I did it because I love her. But I'm so worried about that incident, and also that boy told one of my friends that he has crushes but they are boyfriends like that. I feel that they are talking more than she told me. I think it was caused by: because of that day I saw him, and I accused her, then we had small arguments. He is a friend before me, also a medical student like me!
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Categories : Relationships
Recent edits by: Anonymous, Snowhite, Eng