Edited by Anonymous, Eng, Maria
Questions and Answers
Is my ex wife in a rebound relationships?
Hi, after 5 years of marriage, my wife broke up with me, at the same week she is in another relationship with a guy and now posting pictures in Facebook, they are getting married, he gave her a ring. I am really hurt about all of this, I want to know if this rebound is so fast, now is not even 3 months, thanks
This constitutes possible as an affair during your marriage that turned into a relationship. If they just met, it is super fast to already get engaged. Especially after just leaving a 5 year marriage. These relationships usually do not last but you should not keep your hopes up. Take the time to emotional heal from your marriage ending and move on. It is not easy to stop loving someone and the emotional toll can be carried like baggage into a future relationship. Focus on yourself and your renewal instead of what your ex wife is doing. If you are not divorced yet, begin the proceedings immediately based on the fact that she alienated the marriage and has moved on. You may be able to leverage her new relationship to keep assets that were accrued during the marriage. Especially if she wants to get married soon.
The Russian doll phenomena of rebound relationships?
I would admit that I went into a rebound relationship ages ago. (approx. 17 years ago). I dated a guy (lets call him A) who looked like my ex that I was then clearly not over. But I was also a really "lazy" person. I tend to make do with a lot of things and this became a real relationship for 7-8 years. We broke up and still not over the break up I started dating someone exactly like him again, lets call him B. Me and A at this point, still keep in touch- not like hi, bye kinda keep in touch.. but legit best friends. We talk to each other almost every week. If I am in town, we would hang out every day and night. After moving to B's city, he got distant. So we broke up, but the same pattern happens. I still see B every 2 weeks, and talk to A every week. I started a relationship with another new guy, C.And everything about C is so wrong. But like I said, I was kinda "lazy". So I stuck through it. C broke up with me, and still wanting to be friends. But for some reason it is awkward for me, because we never had a friend relationship to begin with. Naturally I seek comfort with A and B before deciding to marry A a month after breaking up with C. What would you call this then? I'm not asking for validation.. I've realized I had enough of mucking around. And to be honest C kinda freaked me out about new relationships. I am comfortable with A. He is nice. And not annoying- which is a plus! .. I'm just curious would that be a rebound of a rebound of a rebound?
You are one of those people that is addicted to falling in love or the fantasy of being in a new relationship. I would not call you lazy per say. Many of us make compromises to stay in a relationship where we are comfortable. That is not necessarily a bad thing. The fact that you and A have a solid friendship is a fantastic basis for a marriage. All of this being said, there is still some caution to consider. You may want to go into therapy and determine what has made you cycle through relationships this way. It may be nothing at all yet it would be good before you get married to determine that you are ready emotionally to get married. B and C need to be completely out of your life for this marriage to work and be healthy. I do mean completely. Unfriend them off social media, delete all of their contact information and work on your current relationship with A. In the future, work on friendships that were not a previous relationship. This is the healthy way to begin a permanent relationship. Also, if you feel that you are settling for A then do not marry him. It would not be fair to him or you to get married and then realize you made a mistake and file for divorce 6 months later. Also, you should ask A to go into premarital counseling with you. It will be needed to air out any pent up grievances either of you are feeling from the past relationship and then break up. Best to lay it all out there and deal with it head on before walking down the aisle.
Categories : Relationships
Recent edits by: Eng, Anonymous