Identify Signs That You Are Being Treated As a Real Girlfriend and Not Just Being Used

Edited by Vanessa Alexandra Avisado, Eng, Lynn, nteaster and 14 others

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Equality and mutual understanding is the foundation of a strong relationship. The world, however, sometimes affects modern relationships by making people believe they must choose between love and a suitable choice. Find out if you are a part of the latter by reading this article.

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Contents

Signs That You Are Treated As A Girlfriend

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Seriousness

  • You know he is serious. Not only is he not dating other girls, but they are not even on his mind.
  • He is making an effort to include you in his life. You don't get the feeling that you are second best or an afterthought. You feel an important part of his life.
  • He is open to talking about your relationship. When he is past that first level of the relationship and is ready to move forward and build something more, he has no trouble talking about where the two of you stand, and where you are going. The relationship is progressing, moving forward, and he sees both of you in it together.
  • He is investing his time in you. He puts forth a great effort to be with you. He makes commitments to accompany you to events like parties, and theater or he volunteers to spend extra time with you. He doesn't make excuses that he's too busy, as you are a priority.

His Eye Contact Lingers

  • Eye contact is one of the most cherished means of demonstrating the connection you have with each other. It reveals you are attentive and interested in everything he or she is telling you.
  • It's not a promising sign, and really frustrating when he isn't engaged in your conversation, blankly staring into space or his attention diverted by something else. But if you often notice him looking at you, or catching your eye, he's into you.
  • He gives you the feeling like you're the only girl in the room.
  • You see him gazing at you and your eyes meet for a second and you feel that nice, warm rush. If that's what you're getting, he is definitely falling for you.

He Opens Up

  • He shares his embarrassing stories from his childhood. He opens up to you about personal matters and does not mask his feelings around you.
  • Trust is difficult for anyone. It makes people feel vulnerable. If he demonstrates trust in you, is himself around you, and tells you things he doesn't tell anyone else, it is a really good sign that he thinks of you as his girlfriend.

He Listens to You

  • He remembers things you have told him. You can bring up things from previous conversations, or when you do, he knows what you are referring to.
  • He hears your opinions. He is not testing you. He values and respects your views and thoughts and considers these things before he considers you to be his girlfriend. He sees you as someone engaging, which is key to your relationship with him.
  • He wants to know things about you. He is interested in your stories. He is attentive when you speak and laughs at your funny stories, and remembers your funny stories, perhaps encouraging you to tell them in a group setting.

He Takes Care of You

  • He cooks for you. A guy shows how much he cares by taking the time to be with you. Cooking a meal together is an intimate expression of time and energy, and much more if he offers and commits to cook something nice for you.
  • He holds your hand. He is neither afraid nor ashamed to hold your hand while walking, entering a crowded bar or when hanging out with his friends. He is making it known to everyone that he is there with you.
  • You are comfortable and feel safe when he is around.
  • You feel beautiful and confident when you are with him, and he acknowledges it.
  • He has trouble leaving you and saying goodbye, either in person or on the phone. If he could, he would stretch time to extend his stay. He does not want to end it and leave you.

He Arranges his Schedule to See You

  • The right guys have wanted women to fill in their life, so they do things together.
  • When your guy is really interested in you, he is willing to compromise by being flexible and working around your schedule, as you do with him.
  • He does not choose to play video games or hang out with his friends if he has the opportunity to spend time with you.

His Friends are Concerned

  • His friends tell you not to hurt him. They know he is falling for you and they just want to make sure that you really care about him.
  • You notice his friends making an effort to get to know you and include you in activities.

He is Affectionate, not Just Sexual

  • He can be warm and be cuddling you without it being a prelude to sex. He is just being affectionate and happy to plant a kiss on you. He puts his arms around you and snuggles up to you outside of the bedroom. It is an expression that he really feels for you.
  • He does not push or suggests sex with you. Having sex is not the basis of your relationship. Both of you are exploring other things that will contribute to the success of your relationship.

He is Honest

  • He does not speak ill or say anything to put you down or hurt you.
  • He frequently has long talks with you.
  • He keeps you updated on his whereabouts and routine.
  • He doesn't lie. He is usually where he tells you he is. He has no intention of disappearing on you.
  • You have more than just his cell number. He wants you to contact him when you need him and gives you other numbers where you can reach him. You have his number at home and his office.
  • He leaves his cell phone within your reach and does not panic if you ask to use his phone.

He is Proud of You

  • You have things in common and enjoy doing things together. It shows interest in the things you like.
  • He introduces you to his family and friends. You are considered a key part of his life. He wants to show you to the rest of his world and you're no longer labeled as his "friend", but his girlfriend.
  • He automatically invites you to everything. Going to the supermarket, picking up the dry cleaning, and watching a game at the bar. He wants you to be there when his mom comes for a visit or when he has a game to play. The man has fallen for you.
  • He posts pictures of you together on social media.
  • He wants you to take care of him.

11. Making It Official

  • Lastly, he will actually blurt it out "I want you to be my girlfriend" or "Will you be my girlfriend?"
  • It is actually easy to know if a guy has fallen for you based on these signs that are expressions of his loving you. What else can a girlfriend ask for?

Tips, Tricks, and Warnings

  1. 1
    Once you get the feeling you are being used, ask yourself why he'd do that
    .
    Is he using you to make someone else jealous? Is he using you as a booty call?
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  2. 2
    Talk to a close friend about your relationship
    .
    It will help you to hear what they think of the situation. Your friends may also see something you are missing because after all, love is blind.
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  3. 3
    If he seems to want to hang out with you one minute then all of a sudden you do not hear from him for several days he most likely was using you, or there is something going on, which means he's using you...and perhaps someone else.
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Questions and Answers

How do you know if he considers you his girlfriend?

First off, if your gut feeling or instinct tells you that something is off or wrong with the relationship, then it probably is, and worth investigating. You will know and feel first-hand if he considers you his girlfriend, or you are being used. A really good sign is if he introduces you to his family, co-workers, and friends. This indicates he is proud of you and wants to include you in his life. This also shows that he has no ill intentions in the relationship because he is not hiding anything from you or from anyone else. A healthy relationship is about give-and-take, in all aspects - financially, emotionally, career-wise, and intellectually. Look for consistency and balance in your relationship. If he tends to abuse you in any way then he could really be just using you to his advantage such as always asking for money or taking physical advances or even being manipulative or violent. Or he still considers you his girlfriend, but he's a jerk and doesn't deserve you. If a man treats you with respect and is honest in his dealings with you and the people around him then you will know he can be trusted. If he shows his love and respect in words and deeds then he definitely loves and regards you his girlfriend.

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Is it fine for my boyfriend to hang with or to go for a movie with another girl and her sis whom I know nothing of, but he did inform me?

I do go out with guys for movies, but I always inform him, plus he does know my friend.

If he was simply just one of the crowd of his sister's friends then you should not worry too much. Perhaps he was just going along to see the movie and had no intentions toward the other girl. Keep in mind that if this is his sister's friend, he will have lots of interaction with her if he and the sister live in the same house. He was upfront with you about it which suggests he had nothing to hide.

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Suggest that you all go see another movie together or go out for dinner. Once you have seen this girl and your boyfriend interact you will be able to ascertain if there is anything going on. It is highly unlikely though so relax.

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What do you do when a guy asks you to stretch?

Bend over, kick your legs out. I have tried: Nothing. I think it was caused by: Playing basketball

This was probably not a form of flirting if you were involved with him in a physical activity such as basketball. If you felt uncomfortable with the suggestion he made then you can politely tell him that you understand the physical requirements for warming up before you play basketball.

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He speaks of what we'll be doing in the future, calls me his girlfriend, spends every Fri-Sun with me. Is planning a business together, but on the other side, he is on dating sites?

He speaks of what we'll be doing in the future, calls me his girlfriend, spends every Fri-Sun with me. Is planning a business together, but on the other side he is on dating sites

If he is planning on starting a business with you then you are more than just his girlfriend but also a business partner. Feel confident when asking him why he is still on dating websites. Let him know that it is fine if he still wants to date others as your business partner but not as your girlfriend. Explain to him that before you start off on this financial adventure with him that you have to have very clear lines of what you both mean to each other. Also, it is great to own a business together as a couple but keep in mind that this is a stressful financial risk venture that can create issues in even the strongest relationships. Make sure that you have contracts created and signed as to what your individual roles will be as well as financial payments/percentages in the company. This protects both of you in the event that you break up. You could bring this up as an opening to asking him why he is on dating sites still. Be careful to not come off as controlling or jealous. Instead, show him that you are also thinking ahead. Start a Small Business is a VisiHow article that you should read with your boyfriend. If you run a search in the upper right-hand corner of the page for Start a business you will find numerous other articles that can assist you.

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Am I being used with a male friend of mine?

He calls me sometimes though not daily. When I have a problem he is ready to help. He tells me about his girlfriend, he invites me to his house often

You are not being used as he is a supportive friend. One thing to be careful of is to not get emotionally attached to him as if he were your boyfriend. He already has a girlfriend and you are in the friend zone for classification of your relationship. If you are worried that you are experiencing feelings of more than friendship, it is best to limit your contact with him so that you do not get hurt in the end.

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What if he hasn't asked you to be his girlfriend but says you're his girl?

I'm seeing someone and we've been seeing each other a lot and talking a lot for about two months and he hasn't really asked me to be his girlfriend. I don't want to scare him by asking if I am his girlfriend. I met his family and he met mine. He says I'm his girl and he asked if he is my man and I said yes. But I'm just really confused. I have tried: Being affectionate and keeping the communication going. I think it was caused by: He was in a long-term relationship and just got out of it like 3 1/2 months ago almost four. We both want a long-term relationship again

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Calling you his girl is his way of staking claim just like if he asked you to be his girlfriend. He valued you enough to introduce you to his family and then met yours so he has good intentions towards you. A good sign that you are not a girlfriend is if the guy refuses to meet your family or introduce you to his.

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Is the guy I am talking about playing me, or does he have his cake and eat it too?

I have been dating a guy for about a month, from an online dating site. We are not exclusive, still getting to know each other but he did tell me that he deleted the dating site to focus more on one person, but he also did tell me that he sometimes talks to another girl every blue moon. So I asked him should I walk away from him? His response was "I can't tell you what to do, but I don't want you to cut me out of your life yet, but if a great guy comes around for you then I wouldn't want to hold you back.. " 'Is he bad news or being honest?

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He is being honest. It's a good sign that he did not try to hide the other person. He wants to take this slow and get to know you better before he makes any decision regarding commitment. If after 6 months of dating he does not make anything official you should bring up the subject again because by that time you both should know if the relationship is going anywhere.

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Am I being used for just someone to occupy his time?

I have never commented on a post before. But I have been dating a guy for 8 months. He says he cares about me. However, he doesn't show it. He does not like to cuddle or hold my hand. I still work but he is retired. He goes out all day and sometimes he invites me to meet him and his friends somewhere. If there is no seat beside him, he just says go ahead and sit there. Then when someone leaves beside him he says you can sit here. One time someone asked if I was his sweetheart he says yeah one of many. Which I know that I am at his house every night. I still have my place and have not moved in with him since I shower at my place or go to get ready every day for work. One time someone asked who I was and he said his sister. I'm not sure if he was joking or not. Then someone asked what I want to drink and he says whatever is in his refrigerator. He wants me to spend every night with him. Not just for sex most of the time we just fall asleep. If I stop texting which he hardly responds to he thinks I am seeing someone else. I go over to watch TV or something and he falls asleep on the couch. I do care for him and know he had a very bad relationship but how can he say he cares and then acts the way he does?

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He is protecting himself emotionally which means he carried lots of baggage from the previous bad relationship. Makes sense especially if his heart was broken in that relationship by being cheated on because he seems to want to keep you within his eyesight most of the time. His deflection when asked about your relationship with him, says that he is not ready to categorize what you are to him yet. Maybe he feels that if he says you are his girlfriend then you will become the person from his last relationship. Either way, sit down with him and express how it hurts you to have feelings for him and pretty much in a relationship yet he refuses to tell his friends that you are his girlfriend. You can tell him that this does not have to be serious but you would like the distinction of being called his girlfriend since you pretty much live with him already. Do not let him get too comfortable with deflecting because he will never leave that comfort zone without some urging from you.

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Trust is hard to build in a relationship when the other person is blaming you for something from their past relationship. Sometimes they release that baggage and begin to grow the new relationship. It might help if you tell him that you would like to be trusted and judged based just on the merits of this relationship and not past baggage.

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How can I gain more focus in my life?

How can I gain for focus in my life

These are all VisiHow articles that can help you gain focus. One thing to do is create a storyboard for your life. This can be in a document or visually on poster board on your wall. Some people even post goals on post-its and remove them as the goals are accomplished. Organization in your home can help you feel in control with your emotions. Little things like this can help you gain more focus but you will also want to surround yourself with people that can give you wise counsel and even criticism. Managing stress is one of the biggest factors for keeping your focus. When we are stressed we can put all of our energy into that stress and miss out on other things like an opportunity.

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I have been dating a man who is 4.5 years younger than me for almost 4 months. He keeps saying that he likes me and loves me. He also wants to spend every single hour with me but he is very reluctant to treat me with dinner or taking me out to dinner. On my birthday, he did not give me a birthday present and did not even call me to say happy birthday. I think he knew my birthday because he saw my ID. When I told him about my birthday, he said "I didn't know""?

Is he being true to me or he is just playing a game with me?

Not remembering your birthday though hurtful is not a bad sign. You have been dating for under 6 months. It does seem that he is not a social butterfly and prefers to stay at home rather than go out. If this bothers you then perhaps it is time to end the relationship. Keep in mind that women are often more emotionally older than men. There is nothing wrong with dating someone younger than you but try not to expect him to perform in the relationship as your emotional equal. He might still have a lot of growing up to do.

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Why is he so scared to admit I'm his girlfriend?

I met a guy dec 29/15 we hit it off very well found out we had a lot of the same friends and grew up around the same people, not sure how we never met. Things have been good but he will never say I'm his girlfriend. At one point I got fed up and went back online dating this was in March, I met someone else and told him, he said I lied to him and broke his trust and stuff though I'm not sure how as he had told me 2 weeks prior he wanted nothing serious and we could just be friends cause I said I had started to develop feelings. Anyway my trip with the new guy was terrible and my guy checked on my day so I know he cares. Since then I have met all his friends, his kids, his ex wife, his family but he still says we I'm not his girlfriend. For the last week and a half he stayed with me while his place was being worked on and then as soon as he was done he wanted me to stay at his place so we have not spent a night apart in prob 2.5 weeks, and yesterday he asked me to go look and an acreage with him. I'm so confused he likes my kids and tells me he likes me a lot so I don't at all get it!!!!!. I have tried: Talking and asking him but he gets upset and tells me he has issues. I think it was caused by: Past relationship

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Well, at least he admitted that he has issues. He has asked you to view acreage with him. This means that he is thinking of you in future terms. It is a good sign. Some people do not know how to emotionally verbalize their feelings. If you really like him and your kids have an excellent relationship with him then consider the fact that you have met all the important people in his life instead of focusing on how he introduced you to them. The fact is that he is not playing you but just afraid to step into commitment. Although you are getting mixed messages it is clear that he does want you in his life.

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I want to know if he is the one?

Hi I meet a guy over the weekend we spoke and he told me he wants somebody to build a future with, and we had sex the same day we met and he called the next morning...he tells me how much he loves me and he includes me in his future plans..well he is establishing a business that he wants me to be part of and he also tells me if I weren't working I could help him run his business..I have a son that he also includes in his future plans. He invited me to an award ceremony at his work in September is he the one?

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No one can tell you if he is the one. This has to be your decision. He has invited to you important functions and even suggested you help him with his business. Take that as a sign that he does want to have a relationship with you. There is no magic spark that tells us if someone is our soulmate. Because you have just met him, relax and get to know him. You may determine after a year that he is not the one but at least you had a great time getting to know him. It is easy to just fall in love. The hard part is keeping that love from dying. The early stages of a relationship are always full of promise but it is how you survive rough patches that make a solid couple.

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How do I get a fifth grader to like me?

I'm in fifth grade so is he. I don't know if he's interested or not.

You are in 5th grade so if you like him then hang out with him when you can. At this point in your life, it is not like you are planning on getting married and starting a family so relax. You are learning how to communicate with boys and the social cues to pick up on. In 5th grade, you are barely on his radar no matter what you do. Most guys do not develop feelings other than friendship until they are in high school or college. Have fun and enjoy life! Having crushes is part of growing up and your learning process will help you have healthy relationships in the future.

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I am married but my husband always wants to be away from me and I am ignored most of the time. He even planned to marry another woman. What should I do now?

What should I do with my game type relationship? I have tried: I asked him about our relationship. I think it was caused by: Maybe his money

Request a trial separation. At this point, your husband is avoiding you and had planned to marry someone else. It appears that he is unhappy in the relationship and you are too. There is no need to prolong the misery and a trial separation might help you determine if this relationship can be saved. Suggest marital counseling during this time so that maybe you both can work out the marital issues in a therapeutic environment.

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Should I continue this? Where do you think this will lead?

Hi, I'm currently close with this guy who is about 10 years younger (he's 17 and I'm 27). Ever since we met he kept trying to talk with me whenever I pass by my office lobby and eventually we exchanged line. He kept going on about how he likes my kindness and my smile, sometimes he called me out of the blue just to say "you're beautiful" and one day he said I love you and I rejected quickly, saying that I'm too old for him. He insisted and said, "age is just a number" I didn't know what to do, I like him too but I'm confused so I ignored him for few days. The next time I met him we talked really awkwardly and I said sorry through line that night, and he apologized too, saying that he won't disturb me anymore. I regret that I wasn't honest with myself so I tried to reconnect with him and he immediately accepted. He told me how he feels about me and I told him my feelings as well. He claimed that he was shy to hear that from me and said I'm the only one who can make him laugh since his ex. (He broke up long time ago) But after that, he wrote a status about having an imaginary girlfriend. But last night he teased and flirted with me all the time. Does it mean I'm not really for him? Should I continue this or not, because at the moment I'm very happy and content to have him? Please help me. Thank you. He said he loves me and called me all pet names such as baby and sweetie, he promised to tell me his secret he kept from anyone, only when we are really close, and he teases and flirts with me all the time, but he wrote a status that he has an imaginary girlfriend few minutes after we confessed to each other. I have tried: I tried to reconnect and told him my feelings but he wrote that he has an imaginary girlfriend few minutes after we're honest with each other about our feelings. I think it was caused by: Maybe it's the age gap? Does he lie to me about age is just a number, that he's actually embarrassed to date someone far too old for him?

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It is not that you are too old for him, it is that he is 17. He has not developed his emotional reasoning fully yet. Walk away or stop talking to him. This will not end well and you could actually end up in jail depending on where you live. Also, while it is flattering that he is chasing after you, essentially it is just a game for him or tests to see if he can "get" an older woman. Think of it like this, any image or text you send him is probably being shared to at least 30 of his friends and their acquaintances because, at the age of 17, he is not mature enough to know what it is private. If he was 30 and you were 40 it would be an entirely different story. So although age is just a number, before you are 25, that number matters. Personally, you should contact his parents and make them aware that he is contacting you and you wish to not be. This will help somewhat in protecting you against legal ramification. It is also the right thing to do because I would want to know that my 17 year old son was speaking this way to an adult female. It is a sign of some emotional issues of the "child" and yes, at 17, he is still a child.

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The guy I'm seeing is giving lukewarm feelings and I'm very confused?

He buys me gifts, takes me on dates, asks for my input on his life decisions, our relationship isn't solely based on sex however he won't commit or say I'm his girlfriend he introduces us as friends I feel the spark but I'm not sure if he's willing to be committed to me.

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Not every guy exhibits their love in Disney Prince Charming style of delivery. He may be easing into this relationship slowly. He may not be ready for a relationship or perhaps has a personal rule to not commit until after 6 months of dating. This also may depend on your ages. If you are under the age of 25 or over the age of 50, there can be more of a flippant nature of a relationship at first.

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See more questions like this: I'm in love with a younger guy! How to know if I am being used or if he is hiding his feelings?

Does he love me true or is he using me to overcome his weakness?

I met a guy who is 5 years older than me. He was my colleague, we used to have breakfast, lunch together with our friends.Gradually he got close to me and used to talk with me day and night. After a month, he used to discuss a girl whom he used to like. Even I encouraged him for her as a good friend. Suddenly he discontinued the chat with me and also tried to avoid me. Even I tried to avoid him. By that time, I started developing feelings for him. After 6-7 months he again started approaching me, I was happy and got close to him again. We used to text each other but didn't talk in front of everyone. But still, he had feelings for the other girl. I considered him as a friend only. But, he was interested in my body too. Then because of some other circumstances, I discontinued his contact with him. He was my well wisher too. Almost after a year, he somehow contacted me and wants to be with me as a friend wanting for benefits. He couldn't continue his relationship with the other girl. Now, we are in long distance friendship. But, I still love him. So I want to know whether he has feelings for me or not.? Or is it just a friendship? I still long for him and want him to propose me. He knows that I like him. But, feel he is afraid to get into a relationship and want me to be his friend benefiting him. He even encourages me to enjoy life with other guys, but to a certain limit as we are in different countries at present. I have tried: I just let him know, that I like him and as a best friend speaks to him. I never proposed him. But, have discontinued his contact for a couple of times. I think it was caused by: I'm not sure of the problem. Sometimes I feel, that I mistook his friendship with him or because of that girl he was distracted. Sometimes I feel that I was used to comforting him.

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You absolutely are being used. Essentially you are plan B in the event he can't find someone better. That is the reality. For him, it is even better for him because you are in a long distance relationship so he has no hassles of taking you out on dates. You are just a sexual hookup. If you have feelings for him, you need to end this and begin the process of healing before you really get hurt emotionally. This friend with benefits long distance game of his will never go past a few hook ups. He has no plans of commitment towards you, ever.

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A guy treats me like his girlfriend even though he said he would wait for my parent's permission?

He kissed me on the cheek. We were sitting in the bleachers with friends and he put his arm around my shoulders. When I have to go to class he says "love you, bye". I didn't see anything like this in this article because I can't date yet. I have tried: Nothing just Google sorry I don't know what to try. I think it was caused by: He asked me if I could date but I said no and he said he would wait for my parent's permission.

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He is respecting your family's boundaries. This means that he actually is interested in you. Perhaps you should casually introduce him to your parents to test the water. Before you do this, explain to him that dating is going to come with some rules from your parents that you will honor and if he wants to be with you, then he needs to honor those rules. Overall, this appears to be a good guy that is interested in you and willing to respect you and your parents.

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Categories : Relationships

Recent edits by: vc, PGNY13, Alma

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