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I unintentionally cheated on my boyfriend, when under the impression it was a joke . Will he ever forgive me?
I unintentionally cheated on my boyfriend about a month ago. I was in a really bad place as we had an argument, and so a male friend invited me over to keep me company, I went over, thinking it was okay to hang out with a male friend, as that is all he was- a friend. So we were joking and messing around about who we would sleep with from work (most of them are old men) and each other because we knew it would never happen. But he asked me if I wanted to sleep with him and I said yes. I thought he was joking still, and wouldn't have been serious about it, so when we moved my shorts I thought nothing of it at all and that it was an accident when he moved, and then when I realised that my friend was tying to sleep with me, and had managed to only just 'get it in', I moved and told him to stop as I I had a boyfriend and he knew that! I left straight away and went home. I couldn't tell my boyfriend straight away as I didn't know how and I didn't want to hurt him! But I had to tell him 2 days ago because I found out the other guy gave me an std, so I had to tell my boyfriend. I wasn't completely honest at first and made the guy out to be worse than he was, and made it sound like It wasn't my fault. But I've now told my boyfriend the whole story, and that it was a misunderstanding between someone I thought was my friend. . My boyfriend of course is really angry and has said some really horrible things and is saying he can't forgive me, because it's the worst thing I could ever have done. However it wasn't completely my fault considering I was under the impression it was a joke and stopped as soon as I realised what I had unintentionally consented to. I want to believe that in time he will be able to forgive me and learn to trust me again, as it was a horrible accident that shouldn't of happened, I have told him how sorry I am, and I've removed all contact with the friend. I understand why he is angry and feeling betrayed, but it was never my intention for this to happen, and I will never ever let myself be in that position again. I love my boyfriend for than anything, he is the love of my life. Will he ever forgive me and in time learn to trust me again? It was a misunderstanding between friends, I didn't go out with the intention of cheating but purely for a friends company.
My boyfriend however doesn't understand this and sees it purely as cheating and not that I didn't mean for to happen at all and that as soon as I realised what was going on I stopped the whole thing.
I want him to forgive me because I love him and I know he loves me.
Most people go out with the intention of cheating, whereas I did not at all. I have tried: I have tried to explain to him that it wasn't meant to happen and that I thought it was a joke, but my friend didn't know I thought it was a joke so took it as genuine consent.
I have asked for him to forgive me and give me a second chance as everyone makes mistakes and it isn't always their fault several times.
I have deleted my friend of Facebook and blocked him, I've deleted and blocked him of Instagram and I've blocked his phone number, and I've told our work place that I don't want to work with him anymore. I'm also looking for another job so I can leave and start over.
I am giving him space so that he can calm down and think about the situation. I think it was caused by: I should never have gone to a male friends house thinking that they wouldn't want to do anything. I didn't think my friend was like that at all but I was wrong. I should have stayed at home and made myself go to sleep, no matter how upset and struggling I was, and not go to anyone's house as I wasn't In a fit state at all.
I should have left as soon as he started getting a bit flirty, but I didn't pick up on it because I can be like that sometimes it's just part of my personality.
I should never have said yes to sleeping with him even if I thought he was joking and I was joking.
I should have told my boyfriend straight away instead if trying to put it off and been a stronger person.
When I did eventually tell my boyfriend. I should have told him the whole truth straight away instead of playing the victim.
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